What Makes a Difference
by MGC
Summary: Sarah, troubled 18 year old with a rough past, just moved in Boston. She'd do everything to get out of her perfect life, taking risks and trying to live dangerously. But when she gets caught up in a life a little too dangerous, will it go too far?
1. French Canada

_Ok so this is my first fanfic so please think about that while reading ^^ Also know that english is not my first language so there might be some place where I missed out or there is just a lack of appropriate vocabulary so I'm sorry in advance ... Hope you enjoy it !_

_**EDIT:**__ I went back and corrected and modified a bunch of stuff on these first chapters that I find, as I read them, absolutely horrible. I'm simply trying to make this story a little more believable and bring it to look more like it does later in the story where I feel it actually gets good. Thank you for your understanding, have fun reading !_

* * *

Sarah stood in the middle of the empty room, a heavy box in her arms. Her eyes peered at the four white walls, but her mind when to the weight she carried in her arms. All that was in the box were pictures and souvenirs, a part of her from her previous life she'd felt the need to keep. Placing the box on the floor, she turned her attention to the footsteps behind her. Sarah's mother stood in the doorway, tired from the journey.

"Your bed hasn't arrived yet," her mother said in French. "Your father is trying to find a sleeping bag for you right now. Will you be okay sleeping on the floor for a couple of days?"

Sarah felt the back of her head tingle, a familiar sensation linked to her never-ending annoyance towards her mother. It was typical, really, that she would act like nothing about any of this was a big deal. Sarah bit her tongue in an attempt to scare the feeling away as well as keeping herself from saying what was on her mind.

'_No, I won't be okay! I want my bed, in my room, in my house! Not this stupid castle in another town in another snobby neighbourhood. I hate this place, I hate my room, and I hate you!'_

Keeping her patience, Sarah replied softly.

"Of course, mom. I'll be fine."

"I knew I could count on you," Sarah's mother said with a large smile. The disgruntled daughter forced a grin back, like she always did.

The truth behind Sarah's attitude dealt with the fact that she couldn't believe she was actually here. When her parents told her that they had to move and build another life, it hadn't seemed real. It felt like something you say you'll do, but you simply don't. The words were empty, meaningless. Unfortunately, she had been wrong. Everything they said, they meant, and within a week, she was packing for her new life.

In truth, Sarah knew she shouldn't care so much about moving. If she was being honest, she wasn't leaving much behind: no friends, no lovers, no nothing. She had been one of those shy, sweet girls who walked along the blurry crowds, blended in, but never quite fit in enough to leave a trace, better yet an impression on anybody. Not that she wanted to, really, growing up with the type of people that she did. Her mother was the embodiment of a stereotypical wealthy fashionable white woman with judgemental friends, nagging about everything and showing off their husband's money. And while she saw her father every day of her life, hiding behind his humongous watches and running away to meetings all the time, he was nothing else than a stranger.

If she could describe herself, Sarah would probably say that she was like a toy with a fabrication default. She looked the part, just like everybody else, but there was simply something that didn't quite work. Everything was just a little off. _She_ was a little off. Her parent's solution had been to move them to another place, like their previous life was the problem.

But Sarah knew better. She was the problem. And if she was still there, and if she was still the same waste of place, the same sad excuse for a person, things would be exactly the same. Only, this time, she really wouldn't have anything to hold onto.

"What are you waiting for? You think these boxes are going to pull up their pants and come running up the stairs? Come on, hurry up!" her mother shouted in the hallway.

Sarah nodded and fallowed her mother down the stairs to help her bring the remaining boxes inside, the dark thoughts still looming in her mind.

* * *

Dark had claimed the city shortly after their arrival. All the boxes in the house were scattered in different rooms, leaving almost no space for Sarah, her mother, and father to eat their dinner. They were all standing in silence, leaning against the brand new kitchen counter, eating a cold pizza.

"I hate to say this but we should probably start unpacking the boxes right now if we want to be finished by the end of the week", her father grumbled between two bites.

"Right now? Honey, you have to be kidding, we just got here", her mother stated, her nose turned up at the thought.

Pierre rolled his eyes, not surprised at his wife's complaint. "So? A bunch of brown boxes aren't the most homely sight."

"You are unbelievable, Pierre. Is this about the house again? I spent weeks trying to find the person place for us to live in and you find a reason to complain the first five minutes of us moving in?"

"Now, sweetheart, you know that's not what I meant. I love the house," Pierre defended with a shrug.

"Are you lying to me?"

Pierre gave his daughter a confused look before he stared back at his wife, obviously surprised at the outburst.

"Did you forget to take your medication again, Denise?" he finally said, his grave tone followed by a louder answer.

"HOW DARE YOU!"

"Guys, come on, cut it out," Sarah tried, her soft voice barely making out of her mouth. She wouldn't have been surprised that no one heard her.

"Sarah, stay out of this!"

Sarah's gut started feeling heavy, anger slowly rising through her veins. Unlike most kids her age, she rather preferred when her parents ignored each other. However, she did not appreciate when they ignore _her. _

"You know what? I was right. This place is exactly like it was back at home. And you guys are the worst part of it."

Sarah's mother held back her ranting long enough to turn to her daughter, her face having gone from complete rage to genuine curiosity.

"What are you talking about? We did this for you, sweetie. So you could get better," her mother pleaded.

"I didn't want to be better."

With that, the young girl angrily threw the remaining pizza slice she held right to the sink and stomped up the stairs in a dramatic fashion.

Once her door was slammed for the effect, she regretted it. The barren room reminded her that she had nothing except for a thin sleeping bag in the corner.

Sarah's back helped her slide her way to the ground as she held back familiar tears. But once she reached the floor, her face was covered with them.

_'You're weak,'_ she thought. _'You're the same old sad mess with no life and no one to love you. Why are you crying? Why don't you just toughen up, for once? Or are you going to give up like you always do? Are you going to be a coward all your life, Sarah? Are you?'_

Sarah waved the thoughts away with a quick shake of her head, her eyes firmly closed, her shoulders still shaking from her crying. Exhausted from the travel and her roll coaster of emotions, the young girl prayed to fall asleep. If she slept long enough, she thought, maybe she'd wake up a different person.

* * *

The young girl eventually woke up to the sound of her parents unpacking boxes downstairs. They were arguing, how original.

Being the good daughter that she was, Sarah forced herself up, unconsciously readying herself to help them. However, right before she reached the door, she thought back to the night before, and to that little voice. Did her parents really deserve her help? More importantly, did she actually _want_ to help them? No.

Back on her sleeping back, ignoring the discomfort from sleeping on the floor, Sarah's stare moved to her only box. In it were the very few clothes she owned, and she immediately changed into a black shirt and clean underwear, keeping on the dark blue jeans she'd had on. Once changed, she went down to see her parents.

"I need money to buy some new clothes," she stated, putting her shoes on.

Her mother looked up from the magazine she was reading. Evidently, she had concluded she needed a break after a strong fifteen minutes of unpacking. "What's wrong with the ones you already have?"

"I burned them, remember?" Sarah muttered under her breath.

"Oh, that's right. Tell me, why do you have to be so dramatic all the time?" Denise's eyes left her magazine for an instant, giving a pointed stare at her daughter.

"It suits me." Sarah forced a smile, to which her mother rolled her eyes.

"Can't imagine who she gets it from," a voice mumbled behind a pile of boxes, and Sarah's mother snapped her head towards her husband in an attempt to let him know just how she felt about that remark. Pierre, however, had found it safer to stay hidden. After a moment, Denise took a deep breath and refocused her attention to her daughter.

"Well, regardless, this whole thing is no one's making but your own. I'm sorry, my dear, but I'm going to have to ask you to care of that yourself. You're an adult now. Act like one."

Sarah, on the other hand, did not agree with her mother. "But mom, I need clothes."

"Sarah, you're eighteen years old, maybe it's time you found a job and had your own money."

"The fact that you're the one telling me this is simply _gold_," Sarah retorted, to which her mother squinted her eyes and angrily went back to reading her Elle magazine, flipping a page rapidly. Sarah's response was to turn to her father.

"Papa?"

"Don't you think of getting me involved in this mess, Sarah. You brought it upon yourself," he stated, his head popping up from behind a box long enough for her to see him hold a laugh and go back down.

Sarah closed her eyes, holding her anger. She violently grabbed the newspaper from the newly placed coffee table and held the Classified Ads in front of her mother.

"Fine, I'll look for a job. Are you happy now?"

Before her mother could answer, Sarah stormed out of the living room. She grabbed her father's car keys off the hook and opened the front door.

"I'm taking the car!" she yelled as she exited the house, closing the door behind her.

She sat in the driver's seat and turn on the engine, scanning the newspaper for restaurant or store ads.

Sarah didn't want to work, but her mother's bland reply told her otherwise. Her parents could care less if she had clothes on her back, and Sarah had no money herself from spending the last of her savings on a tattoo for her eighteen birthday. Luckily, within ten minutes, she found a diner with a decent salary that magically happened to be the furthest away from her house. It was worth checking out.

* * *

Half an hour later, Sarah parked her father's car in a small parking lot. The place she was visiting seemed rather small, and its name was etched in neon lights on a large sign: Ronnie's diner. The parking lot was nearly empty, though it was still somewhat early enough that Sarah didn't think much of it. Searching for those typical 'We Are Hiring' sign she was so used to see at home and finding none, Sarah wondered for a second if they still needed someone, but she figured it didn't cost anything to try anyway.

A girl sat at the counter in a waitress uniform, a bored expression splattered all over her face from the lack of customers in the diner. Sarah walked up to the other girl and gently tapped her shoulder.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I read an ad in the newspaper saying there was an open position here," Sarah told her, fumbling with the newspaper clipping in her hands. The girl looked Sarah up and down, unimpressed with the newcomer.

"So? What do you want?"

Sarah blinked once, wondering if the girl understood what she said. "Well, I was wondering if you still needed a waitress."

"I wouldn't know. You should ask the owner," the rude girl replied, finally getting off the stool. Sarah followed the girl closer to what seemed like she kitchen behind the counter but stopped before she reached the door.

"Yo, Ronnie!" the girl screamed to the back of the kitchen.

"What?" a man shouted back, and Sarah heard a creak of a door.

"There's a chick asking 'bout a job!"

Finally, a middle aged man appeared behind the door. He was tall, with curly brown hair and dark brown eyes, and he was robustly built, a contrast from her father.

"May I help you?" he asked as he came up to the two girls.

Sarah showed him the clipping from the newspaper. "I read that you need some more help, some more waitresses, I mean, but there was no sign in the window, so I was wondering if, like, you still wanted somebody, 'cause I'm looking for a job and, uh, yeah."

The other girl snorted a laugh and a shook her head, staying true to her rude demeanor.

"Of course we need more. I just can't find the help wanted sign anywhere," the owner replied with a wide smile. "I can't believe the newspaper still has this ad. I sent this a long time ago, but nobody ever came in asking for a job."

Sarah couldn't believe her luck and smiled. "Well, here I am!"

The manager nodded and looked Sarah over. He seemed quite unsure, but to be fair, he wasn't looking at the most convincing waitress, especially in this neighborhood. He could tell for a fact that she had no idea what she was getting herself into, from her shaking with nerves, darting her eyes from him to the wall. But what other choice did he have? No one else had answered his ad but her.

"Ever worked as a waitress before?"

Sarah shook her head a little too quickly. She hoped it wouldn't hurt her chances of getting the job, though she did confess, "I've never had a job before, actually."

Ronnie's face fell a little lower. Most of his staff had started working in their early teens, that's what kids did. Her accent had hinted him to it, but he was now officially convinced that this one was not from around here.

"But I'm a quick learner! I-I'm organized and very polite. I'm sure I can pull this off," she argued. Ronnie still looked at her in disbelief. "I _really_ need this job."

He thought it over for a few quick minutes, tilting his head back and forth trying to figure out if the girl could be useful. "When can you start?"

Sarah's eyes opened wide as she smiled back. "Eum, euh, I-I can start right now!"

Ronnie laughed at her enthusiasm. "Alright, come with me, we'll fill out the papers."

Sarah fallowed the man as he lead her to the counter. "I'm Ronnie, by the way," he said as he was walking, "and this," he continued, pointing at the brown haired girl, "is Emily. She's a bitch but she grows on you."

Emily gave him a deadly stare and sat back at the stool where she had been. "Bite me, Ronnie."

The man only laugh once more. "Nah, I'm good." Sarah chuckled.

"Don't listen to him, he's an old grump who hasn't gotten laid in twenty years," Emily teased, giving him a proud grin. Ronnie shook his head and ignored the younger girl, and Sarah chuckled again.

Emily gave her a smile. "So what's your name?"

"Uh, Sarah."

"Nice to meet you, Sarah."

Ronnie took the opportunity of the small amount of customers to show Sarah around the diner, and getting Emily to teach her the ropes of waitressing. Turned out, Emily was not actually as rude as she'd first been, and Sarah surprised herself by enjoying the few hours she was spending away from home. How interesting, she thought, to be surprised positively. Knowing her luck, however, Sarah knew it couldn't possibly become a reoccurring event.

* * *

A few hours later, the diner was emptying after a very busy morning. Sarah held on for dear life to the counter as she felt Emily jump beside her.

"God, finally! I couldn't wait 'til lunch break. Wanna come outside to eat with me?" Emily smiled broadly at her, insisting to be followed outside. Of course, Sarah did just that, and the two girls sat facing each other at a picnic table once they reached the back yard to the diner, which was basically an alley.

"So, what's your story, Sarah?" Emily bluntly asked, receiving an uncomfortable look from Sarah. "Sorry, it's just too obvious that you're not from around here. Where are you from? You have a very weird accent."

Sarah let out a small laugh, half shocked and half amused at the inappropriateness of these questions. It sure wasn't something she was used to from most people she'd met.

"Canada. French is my first language," Sarah replied, growing serious. To speak the truth, she hadn't been aware that her accent was so obvious until now. She was almost disappointed now that she knew that small feat. She probably would have to explain her origins to people every single day.

"I didn't know they spoke French in Canada," Emily stated, playing with the straw in her drink. Sarah only shrugged. It felt weird to think that her culture had to be explained, like she'd expected people to know everything about it.

"Well they do. I'm originally from Quebec. It's a big thing up there."

Emily seemed impressed, and beamed from the new information. "Wow, that is so cool. Did you move recently or something?"

Sarah nodded her head and took a sip from her drink. "Yesterday."

"Shit, okay, so this is really new to you. May I ask why you went from French-Canada to Boston? I mean, it seems like such a big difference," Emily pried, hoping it wasn't a forbidden subject. Sarah hesitated for a second, understanding where the conversation was going.

"My parents are complete losers," Sarah she finally breathed out, and Emily let out a snort. "No, seriously, it's just that, well, it wasn't right where we were. It's just complicated. It's hard to explain."

"That's okay. We've just met; I understand you don't want to talk about it," Emily shrugged. Sarah smiled softly, grateful that, for once, someone understood her need not to talk about how she felt, and that she didn't simply come off as rude. "How old are you?"

"Eighteen. I'm a senior; I'll probably start school next week."

Emily's eyes brightened and leaned forward in glee. "No shit, me too! We'll go to school together, then. Well, I hope. Hell, maybe even the same classes, unless you're, like, way smarter than me."

* * *

It was two o'clock when Sarah was set free. The lunch rush was over and Ronnie figured the poor girl had done enough for her first day. Satisfied from hard work, Sarah headed to the kitchen to leave her apron before she could leave. She was pushing her way out of the kitchen doors when a strange man walked loudly in the small diner. He was tall, even taller than her stature of 5'9. Though, it wasn't the height that scared her; it was the way he presented himself. His torn, dirty jeans and washed-out leather jacket were nothing compared to his shaved head and body covered in tribal tattoos.

Sarah's stare went for the man to her new co-worker who's reaction was nothing less than surprising. Emily skipped over to the young man and jumped into his widened arms, all the while laughing like a school girl.

Sarah had to take a second to take in that information before she was able to focus on what was going on.

Emily squealed with delight and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Tommy!"

"Are ya ready to get the fuck outta this place?" he asked, ignoring the pointed stare Sarah was giving the young couple. She still failed to wrap her mind around the fact that a young girl like Emily would be interested in a hood rat.

"No, I finish at six," Emily replied, and Tommy only sighed in response. His girlfriend pouted as he shook his head, disappointed herself at his lack of patience.

Tommy, of course, voiced his opinion. "What? But baby you said you get off at 2:30!"

"Yes, on Sundays. This is Saturday, babe."

Tommy scrubbed his face and sighed again. "Fuck, man."

Smiling at the scene, Sarah finally found her legs and began to walk past the strange couple. Emily caught her eye and smiled back. "Bye, Sarah! Have a good day."

"Why she leaving and not ya?" Tommy raised an eyebrow in confusion. Emily sighed, not one bit surprised that her boyfriend couldn't keep that type of thing to himself, even if he was the one who was wrong.

"Because Ronnie told her to go."

"Why?"

"I don't know, Tommy, he just did."

"Well she probably ain't got nothin' to do. Right?" Tommy turned to Sarah who'd already stop walking.

"Well, I-I... not really, no. Why?" Sarah waited, looking at Tommy with a strange face.

"She could take your shift, so ya can spend the afternoon with me!" Tommy smiled at his bright idea. Sarah hesitated. She didn't really want to work for the rest of the afternoon, but on the other hand, she could use some more money and Emily had been really nice to her.

_'Coward'._

Sarah gritted her teeth.

"Tommy! You can't ask her that. Just come back at six. Don't _you_ have to work too anyway?"

"Nah, I'm done. And I want ya now," he replied. Emily smiled and placed her arms around his neck.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he repeated softly, lowering his head so he could give her a soft kiss.

Sarah couldn't deal with the wild man trying to win over time with his girlfriend and decided to work more hours. Emily did deserve it, at least Sarah thought so. "I don't mind taking your shift."

Emily's eyes lit up behind Tommy's broad shoulders. "Really?"

"Of course."

Emily laughed and kissed her boyfriend's lips quickly, but hard. The young man body reacted immediately and he pressed himself closer to her.

"You hear that baby? I'm all yours."

Tommy chuckled, but before he could make this situation any more inappropriate, Sarah spoke up.

"Alright! You two lovebirds can go now, I'm all good here."

Emily nearly forced herself away from her man and looked at Sarah.

"Sorry... Thank you, really. You're kinda really nice."

Emily went back to Tommy and took his hand.

"Yeah thanks, Sarah," he added with a sweet grin.

"Oh, it's nothing." Sarah let out a small smile and went back towards the kitchen to get her apron back.

"See ya tomorrow, Sarah!" Emily said before leaving hand in hand with Tommy.

"Yeah, see ya," she whispered.

As Emily left the diner, Sarah couldn't help but wonder how in the world she had managed to meet someone she actually liked this quickly. To say she wasn't particularly good with people was an understatement, and to think that she'd found someone who she was genuinely looking forward to seeing again was simply unbelievable. Yet, it was. Emily was refreshing. She didn't care about formalities and backgrounds and she didn't hold back to speak her mind. She was true. And that wasn't something Sarah had seen every often.

* * *

At six o'clock later that day, Sarah made her away towards the door of the dinner for the second time. Of course, she knew her parents would be worried that she spent the whole day away from them, but it didn't really bother her. She got a job and a friend. The job wasn't bad at all, since it wasn't stressful and the customers seemed nice. Not once did Sarah think about the move and her new life in Boston. It was just a fine, stress free day.

Once at home, Sarah realized she was alone, how surprising. It was always a great feeling to be welcomed home with an empty dark house. Sarah flipped some of the lights on, studying the empty rooms, her stomach twisting at the unfamiliarity. Displayed on the kitchen counter was a note written in her native tongue.

_"At the restaurant. Be back at 10. There's nothing to eat so we left you $20 so you can order something. See you later. - M & D"_

Sarah read the note once, then twice, and let out a sigh. Her parents hadn't been worried at all. Way to feel important when your parents treat you more like a burden than like a person.

Sarah put the note down and closed her eyes. Finding herself couldn't be this hard, really. Her mother had showed her how all along: what not to do when you are a parent. If she could just manage to do the exact opposite than she did, she'd probably turn out quite fine.

* * *

_Thanks for reading, leave a review ! _


	2. I Don't Know You

Sarah's eyes went from the plate to the man in front of her, whom she briefly smiled with before she went back to work. She had been working at the diner nearly every day since she first started; however, she knew that it would end next week. School was finally started, and Sarah had to worry about going to classes. Unfortunately for her, ending high school at eighteen, but only had schooling for 11 years was normal where she grew up. Then the teenagers were shipped off to CEGEP, for another additional year of school, and _then_ go on to college.

Now stationed in the USA, Sarah had to comply with the American educational system and continue another year of high school.

Trying to push the negative thoughts out of her mind, she leaned against the counter. She couldn't help but sigh, "Well, this was a long night."

"It's Friday; it's always long on Fridays, even more when you actually go to school during the day. Now that'll be a living hell for you," Emily explained while counting the money in the register. Sarah rolled her eyes and banged her head against the marble countertop.

"Don't play the victim, Emily. I didn't go to school, but I worked all day," she accused, and pointed a finger at her friend to emphasize her point.

Emily glanced over at Sarah before going back to the money. "Still, it sucked…really, really badly."

"Are you kidding me, since when doesn't school suck?"

"Eh, good point," Emily replied, taking off her apron. She walked around the counter to sit next to Sarah. Both girls sat in silence before Emily broke. "So, do you have anything planned this lovely evening? It's a good night out to do shit."

Sarah shook her head, turning around to face the door. "Nah, I'm probably just going stay at home and…you know, stay at home."

Now, Emily would take that for an answer. She raised her hands in the air, making sure Sarah knew just how obvious that wasn't a good idea. "Hello, but it's Friday! How can you stay home on a perfectly good Friday night?"

"Yeah, well not everybody has something to do on Friday. I can't just go out on my own. It's sad," Sarah sighed. Emily grabbed her friend's hands and tugged on them for her to stand up.

"Well, you want to know something? Staying at home is sad, too. Do you want to go out with me?" she asked with a big smile. Sarah looked at her sceptically, thinking back at the large man that once came in.

Sarah gulped, trying to figure out how to describe the man without upsetting Emily. "Aren't you going out with that very tattooed boyfriend of yours?"

Emily, however, narrowed her eyes. "Do you have a problem with tattoos?"

"No, I like them. Honestly, it just surprised me that he's your type of guy, that's all. I couldn't have a problem with tattoos since I have one myself. Now that would make me a hypocrite," she stammered, but Emily was too busy smiling. Her eyes were lit up, and she was trying to figure out where this tattoo was. Sarah blinked in confusion. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"_You_ have a tattoo Miss I-Don't-Have-Anything-to-Do-on-a-Friday-Night? I just can't believe you would have something so…rebellious on your body," Emily explained, still eying where the potential tattoo was.

Sarah rubbed the back of her neck in embarrassment. "Yes, I do…"

"Well, hello? Aren't you going to show me it? I mean, I want proof," Emily stated while laughing. Sarah lifted up the back of her shirt so Emily could see two small words inscribed on her lower back:

**Be Different**

Emily looked back up at Sarah with a small smile. "I really like it. It's very pretty and very you. What does it mean, though?"

"It reminds me of being different, you know, not to go for the easy way and follow a leader. It's just to remind me to be myself," Sarah explained, still embarrassed about the whole situation. Emily nodded though, not sure if she should say something. Finally, she was learning something new about the blonde haired girl who walked in the restaurant about a week ago. Here was a nice, shy, yet mysterious girl who was obviously filled with secrets, opening up. It made Emily smile, and Sarah continued her explanation about the importance of the tattoo. "It's not much, but it means a lot to me."

"No, Sarah, it's really beautiful. It's cool that it means something to you. My tattoos are just silly drawings that I thought looked nice," Emily admitted as Sarah readjusted her shirt.

"That's cool, too. I wish I had the guys to randomly get a tattoo. With my luck, I'd pick one out I'd hate when I'm older," the new waitress said.

Emily shrugged. "Oh, I'm sure you could. You've just never tried it before."

A silence came over them, as they stared out the large windows surrounding the diner. Cars passed by in the dark night, not as busy as the main street usually would be. It was nice for the two of them to sit there in silence.

Naturally, Emily was the one who broke the silence. "Are you coming with me or not?"

"Wait, where?" Sarah queried.

"You know, coming out with me? Have a fun night on the town?"

Sarah bit her bottom lip. "What about your boyfriend? I don't want to intrude…"

"Oh please, Tommy can live on night without me. Anyways, most of the time we go out, we go to the bar where all his friends are nearly every minute of their lives…There's no really thing as you and me with him really…"

Sarah paused for a second, thinking it through. It would be fun to go out with Emily, since she was Sarah's only friend, and Sarah really wanted to make Emily feel happy even in the new environment. On the other hand, she wasn't a big fan of going out with people she didn't know, since the last time turned out to be pretty horrific…

"Honestly, Em, I just don't know. It's not that I don't want to go out with it, it's just that…I just moved in just last week-"

"Yeah, I understand you just moved in, Sarah, but you should go out and meet new people. C'mon Sarah, it'll be fine, and really fun!" Emily whined, clinging to Sarah's arm as if she wanted to tug the poor girl out the door right then and there. Sarah took her arm back and rubbed where Emily's hand clasped.

Sarah rushed to the kitchen to get her coat. From the back she called, "Listen, I really appreciate your offer but, I think it'd be better if I just stayed home tonight."

Emily raised an eyebrow, confused. She wondered what the thing with the sudden change of attitude was. One second, Sarah was nice and playful, and the other she didn't want to do anything and just left.

"What? Is there something wrong, Sarah?" Emily asked, worried at the girl's behavior. Sarah returned to the entrance of the diner, but looked at Emily with sad eyes.

"No, I'm fine. I'll see you later." Sarah opened the front door and left in a hurry.  
Emily headed to the kitchen and to her own coat which she put on and took out her cell phone. She dialed a number she knew by heart and put the phone to her ear. She knew that talking to her boyfriend would help her calm down from the strange situation.

"Hey babe, are you at the bar with the guys? Oh, don't flatter yourself; my plans crashed. Don't worry, I'll explain all of it to you later," she sighed, trying to stop the man from stopping her. "Look, I'll be there in 20 minutes, okay? Bye."

She hung up the phone and put it in her pocket before walking towards the door. Once outside, she looked at the diner sadly before turning the key in the lock.

Sarah parked the car in front of her house and let out a long sigh. Placing her head on the steering wheel, she scolded herself for backing out of the night out. Now that Sarah thought more about it, she would have loved to go out with Emily, even meeting new people. Just because she was scared of her past life, she was becoming paranoid. Though, it was hard to forget about the past when it was possible that it reoccurred.

Checking her phone, Sarah really wanted to call Emily and apologize again. Though they weren't close, the teenager knew she would've had fun enjoying time with Emily.

Getting out of the car, Sarah let out another long and painful sigh, heading for the door, enjoying the last seconds she had without having to endure her parents. When she got in, she didn't even bother saying 'hi' and just went straight up to her room where she was surprised to see, instead of a very thin sleeping bag, a cute little bed that must have cost way too much for its size. Turning around, she saw her mom looking at her with a large smile.

"Do you like it?" her mother asked as Sarah went to sit down on the bed.

"Yeah, it looks fine. Thank you, Mom."

Denise acknowledged her daughter's lack of joy and sat down next to her. "Are you okay, honey?"

"I'm fine, Mom. Just tired from work, that's all," Sarah replied as her mother kissed the top of her head.

"I don't blame work. It's hard working out in the job world," Denise replied. Sarah refrained from rolling her eyes, and instead, watched as her mother exit her room. She hated to talk about her feelings and emotions, especially to her own parents. Her parents did try to get her to open up to a psychologist, though it never worked out as they planned…

For the next few minutes, Sarah sat on her bed still wearing her coat. She had, like all the days before, worn a dark long sleeved shirt and felt the urge to take it off. She also didn't want to get up and see herself in the mirror. She knew she looked like a mess, as she had for the past previous months. Sarah knew that she was pretty, of course, holding a graceful stance than most other girls. Though, she didn't look as plastic as the rest, or at least look as the other girls she knew. Sarah knew that she needed to grow stronger as a person mentally, not physically. Lost in her trance, she heard her phone ring in her coat pocket.

At the bar, Emily pulled her car up right to the door. She spent almost every Friday night there with her boyfriend and his friends. The bar was known as _The Four Roses_, which she considered ironic since alcoholics and gang members congregated there. Nothing at the bar was considered beautiful, nor would she ever compare it to a soft rose. Entering the bar, she immediately spotted her boyfriend at the very last table, where his gang was laughing and drinking. People around the dingy bar were trying to figure out how they could still stand with some much alcohol in their veins.

Tommy spotted his girlfriend. "Hey, Baby! Come over here."

"You bad boy," Emily replied seductively before kissing him softly on the lips. "Are you having fun without me?"

Her boyfriend smiled shyly and placed a hand on her waist. "Not as much when you're here."  
The guys laughed at his pathetic attempt. "Wow, you're such a fucking pussy, Tommy. You were having so much fun with us; you almost _forgot_ you had a girlfriend!"

Tommy "Shut the fuck up, Joe!" Tommy shouted to the youngest member of the group. Joe threw his head back and laughed hysterically, placing his cigarette between his lips. "I'm serious, Joe."

"Is that right?" Emily asked jokingly. She sat down on the hard chair next to Tommy, resting her head on his shoulder. "Don't worry, baby, I believe you over annoying ass Joe."

Tommy kissed her forehead and turned to Joe with a victorious smile.

"How cute," Joe grimaced and looked away, disgusted by so much affection.

Emily sighed, taking sadly a sip of Tommy's drink. Baggy leaned forward in his chair, both elbows resting on the table. A cigarette dangled out of his lips, while the ashes scattered on the table. Emily grimaced at him. "What's wrong, pretty? Did you break a nail?"  
"What's wrong, pretty? Broke a nail?"

"Fuck you, Baggy!"

Tommy, however, like the good boyfriend he was (at least to him) knew that something was working in Emily's head. "What's wrong, baby?"

"Well, there's this girl, Sarah," she started, with all the guys listening to her for some reason.  
"She's so hot you couldn't resist and became a lesbian?" Joe commented. The other boys laughed at his joke, except Tommy who glared daggers at the youngest boy. Emily continued, pointedly ignoring him.

"That girl, Sarah, just moved in and she's very nice and all but there's something about her that's just… I don't know." Emily posed, searching for the word.

"Hot?" Joe tried. As the guys started laughing again, one of them, who hadn't laughed since the beginning, advanced his head close to Joe's.

"Why don't you just shut the fuck up and let her finish!" he said with an angry voice that left no room for discussion. The table was silent for a minute before Emily finally spoke.

"Thank you, Billy," she answered with a smile voice. She waited a second before she continued. "As I was saying, she's really hard to understand. One second she's normal and fun and the other she's lost in her head and she just leaves. She's… weird. But I like her so I mean, I'd like to help her and stuff…" she paused, looking at Tommy, feeling she was having way too much attention for what she was saying, since none of them actually knew about Sarah.

"Sarah…is she that girl from the other day?" Tommy asked, remembering talking to the girl.

"Yeah."

"She seemed pretty fine to me," Tommy stated, looked less worried.

"To me too, at first, but now I don't know. I was thinking about bringing her here someday," Emily explained a she looked at Billy, knowing she couldn't invite her until he had accepted.  
"If she's so fucking weird, why do you still wanna go out with her?" he asked, emotionless. He didn't want another fucking crazy person in this place. They already had enough fuck-ups in the _Four Roses_ than he could count.

"She's not _fucking_ weird. She's _a little_ weird," Emily replied.

"Yeah, but she's still weird?" Billy raised an eyebrow.

"She's fine, okay! She just needs to hang out a little, meet new people. Plus, she's nice to me; she's funny. You may even end up liking her!" Emily exclaimed before she could think. Billy laughed sarcastically and bent forward to be closer to her.

"I'll think about it," he said before he drank his whiskey in one shot. Emily nodded, half satisfied by his response. She turned to Joe who was still disappointed to have been interrupted that way.

"She is hot though, if you really wanna know," she told him with a sigh. Joe wrung his hands eagerly as the other men laughed together. Emily sighed once more, still confused and worried about her new friend. "Maybe I should call her? She really didn't seem right when she left the dinner."

"Whatever you want," he simply answered, turning back to his beer.

Emily stood up and walked towards a quieter place where she took out her cell phone from her jacket and dialed Sarah's number. After two rings, she had an answer.

"Oui, allo?" Sarah answered in French. Emily blinked stupidly, wondering if she called the wrong number.

"Uh, Sarah?"

"Oh hi, Emily!"

"Hey. I um… I was just calling to make sure you were okay," Emily said.

Sarah's heart pinched, surprised but grateful Emily had been worried about her. "Uh, yeah, I'm fine. I wanted to call you, too. I'm really sorry about earlier, I was tired and I'm just not used to going out with people I don't know."

"But you know me."

Sarah smiled on her end of the line. "Yeah, I know you… I'm sorry; I don't know why I did that."

"It's fine. It's no big deal; I'm just spending the night with Tommy and his friends…again." Emily laughed.

"Aw, I'm sorry. Maybe we could do something tomorrow?" Sarah suggested, hoping Emily didn't have any plans already.

"Yeah, tomorrow's cool! The guys are having a party at Billy's for…well, they're doing a party for something or other. I'll explain tomorrow at work." Emily explained, looking back at the table of men. Tommy flashed her a smile before listening to one of Heco's jokes.

"Oh ok, great. I'll, well…what kind of party?"

Emily hesitated. "It's complicated."

"How is a party complicated?"

"We'll talk tomorrow, ok?"

Sarah paused, thinking there was probably something Emily didn't want to tell her, something she wasn't _supposed_ to tell her. "Ok. Are you sure it's ok? Cause if it's a party at someone's house, maybe I'll be kinda out?"

"No! No, you'll be fine." Emily replied and glanced at Billy. She knew it was wrong to invite Sarah before he had accepted, but he said he would think about it, so that meant he had no real objection about it. Or at least, she believed that he wouldn't care.

"Ok, great. See you tomorrow then?"

"Yeah, see you tomorrow! Bye." Emily hung up the phone and went back to the table where the guys were sitting, taking place next to Tommy.

"So, everything alright?" he asked turning to her.

"Yeah, she's fine." Emily smiled. In a faint whisper, that was heard by Billy, she told him, "I invited her to the party tomorrow."

"You did what?" he shouted, standing up. Emily cowered in her seat, expecting the worse from him.

She tried to defend her actions, but her small voice was nothing compared to Billy's shouts.

"She's cool, okay! She's not loud! She's very, very silent; you won't even notice she's there."

"I don't fucking care how loud she is, this is a fucking initiation party, you don't just invite any girl just cause you feel like it!" he shouted. Everybody was silent.

"But Billy"-Emily tried.

"Shut up!"

"Billy, don't talk to her like that-" Tommy started.

"Shut up, too! I'm being fucking nice to her cause she's your girlfriend, but it doesn't mean she can do whatever she wants!" Billy sighed, furious by his gang members.

"Please, Billy. I promise there'll be no problem," Emily swallowed when Billy's eyes met hers.

"There better not be a fucking problem or I'll shoot the both of you, ya hear me?" Emily nodded and pressed herself closer to Tommy.

"Fucking women," he mumbled to himself while putting a cigarette between his lips and lighting it.


	3. Crazy as Hell

**Ok so this is chapter 3, where Sarah and Billy finally meet.**

**I don't own anything in Death sentence, all I own are Sarah, her parents, Emily and Ronnie. Hope you like it.**

**Thanks to MissIndependant101 for the help!**

"Get the fuck out of my apartment," Bill said harshly, looking at Sarah with murderous eyes. She didn't move a muscle, but she looked at him with a strange expression. "Now!"

Sarah smirked and got up from the couch. She slowly walked towards the exit, ignoring the awkward silence in the small apartment. Sarah, however, found it ironic since the apartment was lively to a point where she couldn't hear herself think. Now that she was leaving, not a soul dared to speak. It had been a nice night; she liked Emily a lot now, and Sarah enjoyed the company of the gang.

"Nice party, by the way. Never been to a better one!" she called before closing the door behind her. She walked down the stoop, where she figured Emily and Tommy would eventually join her.

Bodie, quite shocked at the newcomer's attitude, was the first to speak. Billy snapped his head towards the gang member. "Who the hell is this chick anyways?"

"I don't know," Emily spoke softly, still upset from her friend's behavior.

Earlier that day, Emily had met Sarah at work, like usual. She was pretty stressed out, knowing she had to talk to her about the party that night, and more importantly, the _reason _why this party was so special. Thinking about it, she thought maybe it would have been better to invite her at a different time, where it wouldn't have been necessary to reveal that much about her boyfriend's life. She had already made the invitation and couldn't just ask her not to come anymore. Furthermore, she could see Sarah was not the kind of girl to judge them without getting to know them, and her tattoo proved she wasn't such at daddy's girl after all.

"That man smells like shit," was the first thing Sarah said when Emily came up to her, and she couldn't help but laugh at her friend's comment. "I'm serious; I feel like throwing up every time I have to go to his table."

"It's karma."

Sarah raised an eyebrow. "Karma for what?"

"For ditching me last night." Emily, smiled, leaning over the counter.

"I didn't _ditch_ you; I just declined your invitation in complete legitimacy. It's not like we had made plans before, you just proposed and I refused. I don't see what's wrong about that."

Emily rolled her eyes. "You almost ran out the door! I thought we had spent enough time together to call you my friend but if you're telling me I was wrong..."

"You weren't," Sarah let out a soft smile. "I do consider you as my friend. And I'm going out with you tonight, aren't I?"

"Yeah, I know. About that..." Emily hesitated, looking at Sarah who had stopped cleaning to wait for Emily's answer. She could tell Emily was holding something back, but didn't want to push it.

"Listen, if there's a problem for tonight, we can do something some other time." She didn't want to do something _some other time_. She really wanted to go out and have fun before she started school, but she didn't want to bug Emily or her friends by being there.

"No, no, there's no problem for me, or for Tommy's friends. It's just... maybe_ you_ will have a problem with it," Emily replied, biting her lip.

"Why would I have a problem with your boyfriend's friends?" Sarah raised an eyebrow again.

"Well, they're... different."

"Different?"

"You know, not exactly like us... they're not the best people to hang with." Sarah sighed.

"For Christ's sake Emily, just let it out." She didn't want to sound so abrupt, but she was getting tired of waiting to know why Tommy's friends could be a problem. She didn't really care about what they seemed to other people, she couldn't judge them; they accepted that she came to one of their parties and for that, she thought they were kind of cool. Now Emily was getting all mysterious, and though she knew she was pretty mysterious herself, she didn't feel like playing right now.

"Ok. They're drug dealers."

Sarah stared at Emily, not knowing what to say. Drug dealers? Really? Tommy did look like a bad boy with his clothes and tattoos, especially the one on his face, which she thought was more strange than scary, but she never thought he was a drug dealer. After a minute, Sarah broke out in laughter.

Emily narrowed her eyes and placed a hand on her hip. "Why are you laughing? I'm serious."

Sarah finally controlled herself and raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

Emily nodded, letting Sarah get back in her thoughts. "Ok, so?"

Emily leaned forward, not sure she had heard her right. "So? So, so they're drug dealers! Aren't you a little bothered? Scared? Surprised?"

"Well yeah I'm surprised a little, but... it's fine." Sarah smiled, raising her shoulder to tell Emily she really didn't mind.

"They have guns. Big guns, and I think they've killed people. They're a gang, a feared gang. Billy Darley, ever heard his name before? Big guy, pretty scary, he's the leader. He's crazy as hell and-"

"Emily! It's fine, really." Emily couldn't believe Sarah reacted this way. When she had learned, she was so surprised she didn't talk to Tommy for weeks. She avoided him, though he had left her tons of messages when she finally decided to listen to what he had to say and figure out he didn't matter what he did, she loved him and would do anything to be with him. But Sarah had never met them before, barely saw Tommy once, and yet she reacted like it was no big deal that they sold drugs and shot people. "You sure you want me to come? 'Cause it sounds like you're trying to scare me away."

"No. It's just that I wanted you to know exactly who they are. I don't want you do realize it when you're in front of them, you know." Sarah nodded in comprehension. "They're really scary."

Sarah laughed, taking off her apron as her shift had just finished. "Why are you hanging out with them, then?"

"'Cause of Tommy."

"Doesn't it bother you he's a drug dealer?" Sarah asked as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, but Emily looked away. It did bother her that he sold drugs. Other than the fact that it was illegal and going against her primal morals, it was dangerous for him and for her.

"No, not really." Emily lied and looked back at Sarah. "Tonight's an initiation party," she started.

"There's an initiation into the gang?" Emily nodded. "Whose?"

"Some guy named Spink."

"Spink?"

"Shitty name, I know. Baggy, Bodie, Dog, and Heco are some other names as well," Emily replied. Sarah couldn't help but laugh at the weird names.

"Baggy? Wow." She sat next to Emily at the counter and let out a sigh. "So how many are they?"

"I haven't a clue. There's about seven or eight of them, and there's the other dudes that work for them."

"Not bad. What do they sell?"

The two girls were sitting at the counter, resting after such a long day. Sarah pulled down her sleeves as much as possible, waiting for Emily, who was playing with her hair, to answer.

"Heroin mostly. They cook their own drug," she lowered her voice as a man was passing in front of them.

"Nice. How do they do that?"

Emily raised an eyebrow looking back as Sarah, thinking she was asking way too many questions. "Why do you wanna know?"

"Dunno. For fun."

"You're getting way too interested in this." Sarah laughed, getting down of the counter, taking Emily by the arm as she walked away.

"Come on, let's go." Emily followed her without asking questions. She couldn't help but think Sarah was really weird. _Again._

"What the hell are these?" Emily pointed at Sarah, her finger going up and down.

"Clothes. These are clothes, Emily."

"I do know that, Sarah. I mean..." Emily made a weird face as she was still looking at Sarah. "... I can barely see you."

Sarah looked down at her clothes, confused. She was standing in the door frame of Emily's apartment, waiting for her to let her through, which was clearly not happening. She knew it wasn't the sexiest outfit, but it was normal. She had black skinny jeans, a pair of converse and a dark blue t-shirt with a black vest over it.

"Forget it, come." Emily stepped back and let Sarah enter her house. It was small, the front door opening directly to the kitchen. There was a corridor in the back leading to two bedrooms and a medium sized bathroom. Sitting at the kitchen counter, she noticed and small door on the left where she could see the living room. "It's not much, but its home." Sarah looked at Emily who was standing next to her.

"I think it's amazing," Sarah commented, and Emily raised an eyebrow. "I mean, you having your own place. I wished I could have that."

"No you don't." Emily paused, still looking at the plate she was washing. Sarah stayed silent, knowing she had said something wrong. "You're lucky to have a home like yours."

"It's not a home. It's a house."

"Well at least it's warm and big, Sarah. Some people have it harder than you, you shouldn't complain." Emily stopped washing and sighed. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to be rude."

"It's okay."

"No really. I know you don't feel right with your parents and I of all people should understand that." She turned to face Sarah.

"You regret it? Leaving your parents?"

"When I can't pay the bill and I freeze in winter, yes. Other than that, no." Emily returned to her dishes, leaving Sarah wondering why it was that she had left home. She thought of asking questions, but since Emily hadn't asked her any – which she really appreciated – she remained silent. "So, ready to get drunk and have fun?" Sarah looked at Emily who was standing in front of her. She had been so focused in her thoughts she hadn't noticed Emily had finished washing the dishes. She noticed the sudden change of attitude but didn't mention it.

"Hell yes! Where is this party again?"

"At Billy's."

"Billy, who is the craziest leader from hell?" Emily paused a second, remembering what she had said earlier.

"Yes, _that_ Billy." They both laughed and left the apartment.

It had been a couple of hours since Sarah and Emily had arrived to the party. Tommy had insisted that he picked them up at Emily's apartment so they hadn't seemed completely out when they had stepped foot in Billy's house. It's when Tommy had gotten out of the car to great Emily that Sarah had noticed how sexy and short her bright red dress was. Looking down at Emily's high heels and then to herself with her outfit, she finally had understood what she had meant by 'I can barely see you'. At the apartment, she also noticed how much she was the only one not to be 'seen'. The few girls that were there looked like a bunch of strippers that had managed to leave the watch of their pimp for one night to be there. It was pretty ironic that even thought all the clothes she had on her could be used to reproduce the other girls outfits – and there would still me some left –, she was the only one feeling uncomfortable. She didn't really feel in her element, to say the least. The parties back in Montreal did more damage but were definitely less frightening to look at. The boys were all covered in tattoos and had all their own leather jacket and if it wasn't on them, it sure wasn't far. They had almost all a shaved head, except for one with a Mohawk and another with short dark brown hair. And they were all drunk or high. From where she was, Sarah could see the white powder in the coffee table and the needles not far behind. Not everybody used it but those who did seemed pretty fucked up. There were empty bottles of beer everywhere and there wasn't a moment where you couldn't hear the sound of beers being moved or banged together even with the loud metal music coming from the radio. She thought of how her mother would freak out if she saw where she was and couldn't help but laugh.

"Why are you laughing?"

Sarah looked in Emily direction. They were both in a corner of the room, bear in hand. Sarah hadn't noticed Emily was talking to her, too busy being amazed by that place.

"Hun? Oh, for nothing, I was just..."

"Daydreaming?"

"Yeah." Sarah admitted, taking a sip of her bear.

"About what? About who?" Emily smiled as Sarah let out a laugh.

"Who would I be daydreaming about?"

"I don't know..." Emily looked around, searching for someone worth her friend's daydreams. "...Bodie?" Sarah fallowed her friend's eyes to see the black man who was talking to another bald guy.

"Hell no! He's... not my type." Sarah took another sip of her beer and Emily laughed.

"What is your type?"

"I don't really have a type. I don't date guys." Emily raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean 'you don't date guys'?" Sarah sighed.

"I mean I don't date guys! I just... don't." Emily stared at her for a second, studying Sarah up and down.

"Are you gay?"

"What? No! I just don't do dates, period." Emily didn't seem convinced.

"Really? You don't date... at all?" Sarah sighed again.

"No."

"Have you dated a guy before?"

"Not really."

"Are you a virgin?"

Sarah opened her mouth to answer when Tommy came up to them. He had been between them to others guys by the sofa during the night, and this is the moment he chose to come again.

"You're a virgin?" he shouted, more like a statement than a question, though Sarah hadn't answered yet. One the girls standing not far next to them turned around after hearing what Tommy had just said.

"You're a virgin?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. Her friend she was talking to let out a "aw, she's a virgin, that's so sweet" before the two girls laughed, looking at Sarah like she was a baby dog in a pet shop.

"I'm not a virgin!" Sarah replied harshly, getting irritated.

"It's ok, you know. You're still young." Emily tried to reassure her, getting Sarah even more upset.

"No, really, I am not a virgin!" she repeated.

"I'll drink to that!" said a guy Sarah remembered was called Joe, one of the two guys with hair. He was just passing by and had only heard her say that she wasn't a virgin. Emily and Tommy laughed as Sarah rolled her eyes.

"This is ridiculous," Sarah spoke between her teeth.

"Ok, fine, 'you're not a virgin'." Tommy winked at her with a smirk. "Your secret's safe with me." He added, whispering close to her. He laughed and started walking back to the couch. "You comin' babe?" he asked, turning around to look at Emily. She nodded and fallowed him, taking Sarah's hand in the process to bring her with her. The couch was a three place and multiple chairs were placed around the coffee table, making the place like a VIP circle. On the couch were sitting Bodie and Joe, and on one of the chairs in front of them was a very tall bald guy with tribal tattoos rising on his neck. He was pretty built and his tight black shirt with the sleeves pulled up could not only let people see his muscles, but also the tribal tattoos coming down his arms. Tommy took and chair next to him and Emily fallowed, taking the one next to Tommy, as Sarah sat next to Joe on the couch.

"Hey, you're the girl who's not a virgin, right?" Sarah turned her head to look at Joe who was looking at her with a smirk. Tommy and Emily broke out in laughter as Bodie and the other guy raised an eyebrow.

"Yup, that's me," Sarah answered before taking a sip of her beer.

"Cool. I'm Joe," Sarah smile lightly. "This is Bodie," he continued, pointing at the guy sitting beside him. Bodie nodded at her and she nodded back. "And this is Billy, my very own brother." He pointed at the bald guy who was now looking at her for the first time. She had seen him from far, not knowing he was the infamous Billy Darley, and she could now see why people were so afraid of him, though for some reason, she wasn't.

"Billy the leader crazy as hell?" she said softly, only loud enough for Emily to hear and laugh again.

"What's so funny?" he asked in a low, very manly voice.

"I just said-" Sarah started, before she was cut by Emily.

"It's a girl thing," Emily replied, looking at Billy before turning to Sarah with wide eyes. "Don't say that," She whispered to her.

"Why?" Sarah whispered back.

"Just don't." Sarah could see the fear in Emily's eyes. She understood maybe it wasn't such a good idea to talk to Billy about the fact the he was crazy. Fair enough. She was getting a little drunk.

"And what's your name?" Joe asked, getting Sarah to turn to him.

"Sarah," she answered.

"Sarah... Sarah? I've heard that before... Oh, I know! You're the girl Emily was talking about yesterday! The weird one!" Sarah raised an eyebrow, turning to Emily again. Before Emily could justify, Joe spoke again.

"She said you were hot," he stated and raised an eyebrow, like he was saying he couldn't figure out why Emily would say such thing.

"Oh thank you." Sarah rolled her eyes, looking away.

"No, I mean, you're cute but..."

Sarah turned to him. "I'm not a whore? I actually have clothes? Shame on me." Sarah laughed sarcastically.

"Oh thank you," Emily laid back, looking at Sarah with an upset expression.

"You calling my girlfriend a whore?" Tommy raised an eyebrow, getting Emily closer to him.

"No, because, unlike some other people here, her skirt does not let anybody sitting close to her see her panties and her breasts are still in the dress." Emily couldn't help but smile. They both locked eyes and let out a laugh.

"So any other girl in here is a whore?" Sarah stopped talking, turning to Billy who had spoken for the second time.

"Euh, well... pretty much, yes." He was staring at her; his eyes so piercing it could almost feel they were piercing threw her. But they didn't, because Sarah was holding his stare. He let out a chuckle while taking out his cigarettes.

"Maybe they're whores but you're a bitch," He said, lighting a cigarette between his lips.

"If that's _your_ definition of a bitch." She kept looking at him, which everybody thought was surprising since anybody who didn't, or did, know Billy didn't want to look at him more than necessary.

"Talking shit 'bout people you don't know."

"I'm not talking shit, I'm expressing my opinion."

"No, you're talkin' shit." Sarah laughed, taking a sip of her beer.

"Ok, fine, I'm talking shit. So what?"

"So stop. Shut the fuck up."

Sarah smirked. "Make me."

There was a silence, where the stare between them just became harder. Billy was getting pretty annoyed with the girl, going on about the whores and now challenging him. He didn't want to make a scene at a party but he was getting tired of her and would sure like to teach her not to try to play with his nerves, especially not in his own house.

"So Billy," Bodie started, trying to break the stare between the two, "when is this happening anyway?" Billy looked at Bodie, breathing in his cigarette as Sarah smiled again, knowing she was upsetting him, which she thought was pretty funny. Emily started at her with wide eyes.

"What are you doing?" she whispered between her teeth. Sarah ignored her and turned back to Billy.

"What happens?" she asked, getting everybody in the circle to be silent again. "At an initiation. What happens?"

Billy raised an eyebrow. Was she that drunk or just plain stupid? He looked back at her again while breathing out the smoke. Emily rolled her eyes and looked at Tommy who was getting stressed out for his girlfriend's friend.

"That's none of your fucking business."

Sarah smiled, nodding in comprehension. "I thought you'd say that. It sucks; I'd really like to know."

"And why is that?" Billy nostrils flared as he was getting more annoyed. "You'd like to join the crew?" he chuckled, as Joe and Bodie followed him.

"Maybe." Sarah remained serious as Billy raised an eyebrow again.

"Not a chance." He put down his cigarette in the ashtray on the table.

"Why not?"

"'Cause you're a girl. And a fucking annoying one."

"Ouh, harsh. I was told you were crazy, not mean." Billy's jaw clenched as his eyes grew wide. Sarah couldn't help but laugh at his expression.

"Ok, Sarah, maybe we should go," Emily proposed, feeling this was turning really bad.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, bitch?" Billy ignored Emily as he bent forward on his chair to be closer to Sarah.

"Somebody honest?" Sarah tried with a smile. Billy fist hardened.

"I'd say somebody fucking stupid. Looking for trouble. That what you want?"

"Maybe," Sarah said again, challenging him with a stare. Billy couldn't help but laugh, exposing his perfect white teeth to the circle.

"You're lucky, you know that?" he said softly, his fist getting back to a normal color.

"I do now. Why am I lucky?"

"Cause you're still standing with no blood in you pretty little face, which is exactly what would be happening if there were less people around." Sarah laughed, getting Billy to stop smiling.

"Can't wait to see that."

"OK, so it's late and ... well, we should get going, right Tommy?" Emily turned to her boyfriend in a pleading expression. He nodded and stood up.

"Yeah, you gotta work tomorrow. Come on, Sarah." Sarah nodded, but kept looking at Billy.

"Sure. Let me just say goodbye to my new friend Billy here." She smiled and leaned forward. "It was a pleasure meeting you. Never felt so could to be called a bitch by another bitch." His jaw clenched again, trying to lower his anger that kept coming just by looking at her amused face.

"Get the fuck out of my apartment."

**Feel free to review =)**


	4. Two Weeks, Two Friends

Sarah sighed, biting her lip so she couldn't cry. Memories floated through her head, all because of a picture that meant it all. It was a picture that was all that she was, all that she had been, and all that she lost. He looked so handsome, showing the smile that used to brighten her life, and showed off his soft green eyes. Sarah was standing next to him, her arm around his waist with his around her shoulders. She would give everything just to hold him right now, even to hear his voice.

The box arrived earlier that morning; it was filled with things her aunt had found while cleaning. Aunty assumed that Sarah would have wanted it, especially something so vital. Though, Sarah insisted that the family shouldn't bring any pictures on their move, and she made a scene in front of her parents when she found the box on her bed. Thinking back, she hadn't realized how much she missed it and everything that went along with it. She missed the man in the picture so much she felt her heart stop beating. Yet, she was still breathing and – for a split second – wished she didn't.

"_No,"_ she thought, "_not again, not right now! I'm completely different_."

She placed the picture back in the box and took her off her bed.

_Some of those wear forces,  
Are the same that burn crosses,  
Ugh!  
Killing in the name of –_

"Yeah?" Sarah asked through her phone. She placed herself on her bed, trying to forget the green eyed man she yearned to see.

Sarah could see Emily smile when she replied, "Hey, sleepy head, I've been texting you all morning!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear it."

"It's alright. Are you doing something today?" Emily asked, and on her line, the teenager twirled the phone cord between her fingers. Truthfully, she wanted to talk to Sarah about what happened the previous week.

Sarah hesitated for a moment, unsure of what she wanted to do. "You know, I don't think so…"

"Do you want to go shopping?"

"I thought you were working today."

Emily sighed dully, causing Sarah to smile. "Trust me, I was, but Ronnie called me earlier to tell me he gave my shift to Van. Apparently she's short on cash, about three months' worth of rent. I don't mind though; she does need it."

"What about you? You have rent to pay as well!" Sarah exclaimed. Emily laughed lowly.

"Yeah, but my mom sent me some money."

"She did?"

"Yup. She said something about feeling bad or whatever. Anyway, I'm good for some time so I can finally do something for myself and go buy some freaking clothes!"

"That's really cool. Do you want me to pick you up?" Sarah asked, already itching to get the car keys. Emily laughed to herself, picturing Sarah raring to go.

"Sounds great."

Emily asked her to come by the apartment roughly around 11:30, leaving Sarah back to her thoughts. Things were pretty much back to normal between the two girls; though, after the night at Billy's apartment two weeks ago, it seemed like their friendship took a sharp turn. But, like typical teenage girls, they bitched at each other and eventually made up. Sarah smiled at the thought.

"_What the fuck is wrong with you?" Emily shouted when she and Tommy left Billy's apartment. Sarah stood there with wide eyes, and Tommy dutifully backed away from the two girls._

"_What's wrong?" Sarah asked innocently, causing Emily's mouth to open in shock. Tommy lit his cigarette and looked back and forth between the two teenage girls._

_Emily, however, took a step forward, clearly enraged by her friend's actions. "What's wrong? I'll tell you what's fucking wrong! You're freaking insane!"_

_Sarah rolled her eyes and took a few steps towards her car. "You're overreacting, Emily. Stop screaming, you'll wake up the whole neighborhood."_

"_I don't give a shit about the neighborhood! They're probably up at this time anyway; all that matters is that I don't understand you. Do you even realize what could have happened to you up there?" Emily asked, following Sarah close behind. The latter rolled her eyes and unlocked the doors. _

"_Fuck, Emily, I was just joking around."_

_Emily grabbed Sarah's arm and spun her around. "Joking? You were joking? It's like you wanted a fucking death sentence back there! He wouldn't be afraid to give you one."_

"_Yeah...I just wanted," Sarah tried to figure out what she wanted to say. She didn't even know what went on back there. "I don't know, Emily. I wasn't being serious."_

_Her friend laughed, trying to catch her breath. "You weren't being serious? Oh, well that changes everything!" She turned to Tommy, who put his arms up in defense. "She wasn't being serious. Is that what we should tell Billy?"_

"_Don't get me into this, babe."_

_Emily turned back to Sarah with murderous eyes. "Huh? When he starts screaming at me because I brought some bitch in need of attention to his goddamn party, only for her to start talking shit to him, this is what I'm supposed to say? I'm supposed to tell him you were joking around, not being serious? Yeah, Sarah?"_

"_Calm down, Em," Tommy intervened._

"_Don't tell me to calm down! He's – because of her," Emily tried to say, but her anger turned into worry. She couldn't find the words to express what Billy is capable of. Before she could, Tommy wrapped a protective arm around her._

_He said lowly, "It's okay, babe. It's not as bad as it seems. Nothing happened because she was just being a bitch to him. He would've done something right then and there if it truly bothered him."_

"_Could you stop calling me a bitch? I can hear, you know," Sarah stated, her arms crossed against her chest._

_Emily turned to Sarah slowly. "Shut up, Sarah."_

"_Em, c'mon, I didn't mean to get you in trouble!"_

"_But you did, Sarah. Why would you act like that when I told you to keep a low profile? If anything, you insulted me tonight in front of my friends."_

_Sarah's features softened as she stepped towards her friends. Guilt began to rise in her stomach, so close to making her throw up. With a small frown she said, "I don't know. I wanted to try something."_

"_Well, I hope it was worth it," Emily spat, wishing she wasn't in the situation anymore. She turned around and walked over to Tommy's car a few feet away. Tommy stood there awkwardly for a moment before he spoke._

"_It was stupid what you did back there. It wasn't much, but it's enough to be called stupid. Billy ain't somebody to mess with."_

_Sarah nodded, though she felt people were making this sound worse than it really was. "I'm sorry. I'm just-"_

_Tommy put up his hand before she could continue. "I don't care what you meant to do, but just don't do it anymore._

_He walked towards his car, but he stopped and looked at her again. "Em's pissed, but she'll get over it. Billy's going to complain a bit, but it should be okay. So…you really are lucky Sarah. Just don't push it anymore, okay?"_

After Sarah came back from shopping, and loads of bags in her hands, the teenager got out of her car. Behind her was Joe, the same brown haired boy from the party. He was sitting on the hood of a car, smiling widely at her.

"Hey, babe, what's up?"

Sarah wrinkled her nose at him. "I thought I told you not to call me _babe_."

She shook her head and checked the garage, just to make sure her parents weren't home. She knew that her parents wouldn't be too keen seeing a random boy hanging around their daughter.

"Sorry, I'm just used to calling hot chicks that," he replied with a small shrug. Sarah rolled her eyes, but smiled shyly at him. He hopped off the car and engulfed her in a hug.

"I thought I wasn't hot," she said, causing him to back away from her.

"Ah, you can't rely on what I said that night! I was drunk, and I couldn't see anything with the low lights and shit."

Sarah nodded, and she couldn't help but smile at him. She had to admit, he was pretty cute. When she first met him, she didn't realize how his eyes would brighten when he smiled. His laugh would instantly melt her heart. His all tough macho jokes and comments were nothing compared to how sweet he really was. He was just a little boy, an eighteen year old boy just a little taller than Sarah.

After her short thought, she finally spoke. "Why are you here, anyway?"

"I wanted to see you."

Sarah smiled, hoping she wasn't blushing. She normally didn't blush, so she guessed she was fine. Joe however, stepped forward with a large smile. Sarah stepped back a bit. "Well, you're seeing me now."

"Yeah, I do."

"Satisfied?"

He leaned forward. He face was getting closer and closer to hers before she pushed him away, laughing. "In your dreams, Joey."

"At least I tried!" he exclaimed, though it was obvious that he was disappointed.

Sarah rolled her eyes and made her way towards her front door. Joe closely followed. "Whoa, what makes you think you can come in?"

"C'mon, Sarah, you know you want me!"

"I don't think you understand that when a girl pushes you away, she doesn't want you."

He narrowed his eyes and took a step forward. "I know. You're just playing hard to get, and that's perfectly fine with me, but you need to get over yourself and stop fighting it. You know I want you, and I know you want me. Let's just quit the games and face it like the adults that we are!"

Sarah studied him for a moment, but she burst out laughing. "You're so unbelievable!"

She opened the door for him to enter the house. He smiled victoriously, and she shook her head. She couldn't believe that they only met two weeks ago…

_"What the fuck are you doing here?"_

_Sarah turned her head to face Joe, sitting at his desk in the classroom, looking at her like she had two heads._

_"I got to school here," she answered, turning back to the book she had been reading before Joe had sit next to her._

_"No, you don't." _

_Sarah sighed and looked at him again. "Yes, I do."_

_"__I __go to this school and I never saw you around," he continued, studying her up and down. Though, she couldn't see it since she didn't look up at him to answer this time._

_"That's because I just moved here." _

_He nodded, looking less annoyed than before. He said 'hi' to one of his friends that sat next to him and looked back at her with a smirk. "Right. Ya did quite an impression Saturday." She only looked at him from the corner of her eyes and looked back down._

_"Really?" she said with not much enthusiasm._

_"Yeah," he said and leaned forward to be closer to her. She locked eyes with him and raised an eyebrow. "I think my brother likes you," he finally spoke with a grin. Sarah laughed softly and put down her book._

_"I doubt that," she stated. He sat back on his chair and continued staring at her with a smile. "What?"_

_"Nothin'." She looked at him funny and continued reading her book._

_This was a weird first day of school. She had arrived to this big and dirty building that seemed to erupt from nowhere in a neighborhood where there seemed to be only apartment blocks and bars. Her mom looked horrified when she had dropped her off and restated her offer of sending her references to the private school not far from their house, but Sarah had insisted she went to a public school, being sick of uniforms and strict teachers – not to talk about the shitheads that usually went to these schools. Then, she had bumped into no other then Emily who just royally ignored her and left with a bunch of girls that didn't seem very friendly. On top on that, she had now learned that Joe, Billy Darley's little brother, was still going to school, her new school and in her class. How amazing is that?_

_"What you reading?" Sarah turned to Joe who had taken her out of her thoughts. She closed her book and handed it to him. He opened his mouth to read the title but he stopped, raising an eyebrow. "The fuck?" he whispered. He glanced at her long enough to see her smile in amusement and looked back at the book. "That's French?" he asked, handing her the book._

_"Yeah," she stated took the book from him and put it down on the desk in front of her._

_"You're French?" he asked, and she nodded._

_"From Canada," she specified._

_"Really? Where exactly?"_

_"Montreal." _

_Joe seemed disgusted and shook his head. "Montreal, pff," he continued. Sarah laughed and raised an eyebrow._

_"What's wrong with Montreal?"_

_"Motherfucking hockey team. Hate them like shit." Sarah laughed again._

_"You watch hockey?" she asked, getting interested._

_"Of course I watch hockey! You too?"_

_"Duh!" _

_Joe smiled. "Girls don't watch hockey usually."_

_"I'm not any girl," she replied coyly. He laughed and turned to the teacher who had started talking._

_"I guess not." Sarah looked at him for two more seconds and turned to the front as well, surprised but amused of her new found friend._

_Few days passed and Joe and Sarah's relationship grew stronger. They would talk and kid during classes, even having lunch together once or twice. Though they were totally different; the moments they spent together seemed easy, they didn't bother with anything, just hung out and laughed. Sarah could tell Joe had some kind of a crush on her, always saying comments and jokes that expressed his want to be more than friends, but she didn't really bother with it since he flirted with other girls too. It didn't seem hurt when she turned him down. She didn't really feel bad doing it anyway because she knew that he knew they were and would remain just friends. But that didn't stop him from trying._

_Meanwhile, Emily still hadn't spoken to her. It had been a week since the Billy Darley incident but the girls still didn't talk to each other. Sarah had heard from Joe that Billy screamed at Emily for about fifteen minutes on how he had told her not to bring anybody and she showed up with a bitch - she really was getting annoyed of people calling her a bitch - anyway because she was a 'stubborn little motherfucking whore'. He finished by saying he didn't want Emily to bring Sarah anymore because she failed the test. She had then retorted that she wouldn't bring her anyway because she wasn't friends with her after what happened. Billy then said he didn't give a shit about who she was friends with; he just didn't want to see Sarah anywhere near his apartment._

_"Funny, right?" Joe asked._

_"Right." Sarah had forced herself to laugh._

_Anyway, Emily and Sarah hadn't worked together since that night; Emily having decided to change all her shift so she didn't have to face Sarah. However, thinking this story was getting ridiculous and pointless, Sarah had decided otherwise. She had convinced Vanessa, some other girl they worked with, to change her shifts with hers and was now heading towards the snack bar, knowing she would have to spend the rest of the night with Emily and hoping things would go well._

_She pulled up in the parking lot and quickly got out of the car. Entering the snack bar, she immediately spotted Emily in the back, taking some plate in her hands to give it to the clients. Emily froze when, turning around, she saw Sarah looking at her from across the restaurant, smiling shyly at her. She rolled her eyes and walked to a table. Sarah sighed and went to the back to take off her coat and put on her apron._

_"Ok, that's it!" Sarah stood in front of Emily, stopping her from going any further. "It's been three hours that you avoided me, ignored me the best that you could by serving customers, but there is nobody left now and your attempt to seem occupied by looking at your phone every 30 seconds failed." Emily sighed, looking anywhere but at Sarah. "So, let's just be mature for once and talk."_

_Emily rolled her eyes. "I don't want to talk to you."_

_"Well too bad 'cause you're gonna have to." Sarah crossed her arms on her chest and stared at Emily who rolled her eyes again._

_"You can't force me." She flipped her phone open for the fifth time but Sarah took it from her hand and slammed it on the counter. "Hey, my phone!"_

_"Fuck your phone, look at me!" Emily finally locked eyes with Sarah with anger._

_"What?"_

_"What? You're the one avoiding me!"_

_"Yeah, and I was doing a damn good job before you decided to try and talk to me! So talk!" _

_Sarah sighed deeply. "Fine. I'll talk." Sarah put her hands on her hips, thinking about what she was going to say, while Emily crossed her arms on her chest and waited for her to talk. _

_"Ok, maybe what I did wasn't right. Maybe I didn't listen to what you told me and didn't take it seriously enough, but I never meant to get you in trouble or get anything bad to happen to you." She paused, looking at Emily with pleading eyes. Emily tried to keep her face hard but it showed her anger was gone a long time ago. "How could I have known he would get it out on you?"_

_"He's a gang lord, Sarah. You think it's the kind of guy you can insult and then just walk away from?"_

_"Exactly, he's a gang lord! Doesn't he have anything better to do than to bother with some girl he doesn't even know?"_

_"It's not about wasting time on some girl, Sarah. It's about being respected. Billy Darley is feared by the whole town; he rules it all, and he's got it all. What would people think of him if he would let himself be insulted by an offensive little teenage girl?" _

_Sarah stared at Emily for a moment and nodded. "Macho man, huh?" _

_Emily laughed softly and uncrossed her arms. "Yeah, pretty much." _

_Sarah laughed too and sighed, realizing now she had missed those moments with Emily._

_"I'm sorry," she spoke. Emily smiled and nodded._

_"I know. I'm sorry too." _

_Sarah raised an eyebrow, but she let her friend continue. "I was being a bitch avoiding you and stuff but I wasn't really pissed anymore. I just wanted you to apologize first." _

_Sarah nodded and smiled back. "Got it." _

_The girls looked at each other for a moment and then burst out in laughter. "This is kinda weird."_

_"Yeah." Emily opened her arms and sent a questioning look at Sarah who smiled and opened her arms too to give her a hug. "I missed you."_

_"Me too." The girls pulled back at stared at each other. "Tommy's picking you up?" Emily nodded. "Well let's got wait for him outside then." _

_The girls walked towards the front door and embraced the warm night. Sarah breathed slowly, enjoying the feeling of the wind on her face. That's when they heard the engine. Emily and Sarah watched through the dark as two lights were coming towards them, getting closer and closer until they finally saw the car. It was an old mustang, black all around with red tribal signs on the top. The car stopped in front of them and for a minute, nobody got out. The windows were tainted so Sarah couldn't see who was inside. The door finally opened and Tommy got out from the passenger side._

_"Hey babe," he said walking to her, glancing at Sarah with a weird expression._

_"Hey. Where's your car?" Emily asked after kissing him._

_"At my place. Me and the guys were at the bar, just chillin'." He stopped, looking at Sarah once again. "Billy gave us a ride." Emily tensed while Sarah laughed. Emily turned to her and sighed._

_"He's in the car right now?" Tommy nodded._

_"I'd propose a ride but..."he started._

_"Oh no, I get it." Sarah smiled and got closer to the dark car. She slowly let her finger slide down the hood with a smile towards the window where the driver must be. Emily rolled her eyes and got in the car with Tommy. Sarah laughed and walked towards her own car. She heard the engine rumble but it didn't move._

_"Hey!" Sarah raised an eyebrow and turned around. His window was down and he was staring at her with his famous piercing blue eyes. "Nice car." He smirked let his arm rest on the side of the door. Sarah glanced at the old crappy car her parents had given her when they got tired of her asking for theirs. Sure it was ugly, but it worked and Sarah liked it. She laughed and looked back at him._

_"Thanks. Nice hair," she commented. His face hardened for a second and then he smirked again. He put his arm back in the car, holding the steering wheel firmly. She knew she shouldn't have said that, but you couldn't expect anything else from her if you insulted her car. Furthermore, she didn't really care about the fear going on around him; she only regretted it for Emily. However, according to girly laugh Sarah heard from the car that could only belong to her friend, she felt it was ok. She also heard a couple more, one being strangely alike Joe's. Sarah smiled to the passenger seat's window; knowing Billy's little brother must have been sitting beside him and got in her car._

"That time was funny," Joe said, smiling at her, and sitting on her kitchen counter. They were talking about cars when Joe brought that up.

"Yeah, it kinda was," Sarah said and took a sip of her soda.

"No, really, you should have seen the look on his face when he saw you." Joe laughed and drank his soda as well. "When you said the thing about his hair, I had to control myself or I would have laughed my ass off."

Sarah laughed and sat next to him. "He really hates me, doesn't he?"

Joe stopped smiling at her serious expression.

"Yeah." He spoke softly. "But that's because he doesn't know you." Sarah nodded. "You kinda of searched for it, though."

"Oh, I know. It's just...I don't want you to get in trouble for hanging out with me."

Joe smiled and put his soda down. "Billy's my brother, not my father. He can't tell me who to hang out with." Sarah laughed and Joe put his arm around her shoulder. "He's just pissed 'cause he's not used to girls standing up to him." Sarah smiled and rested her head on his shoulder.

"More people should stand up to him."

"He's not that much of a bad guy, you know..." Sarah laughed. "Really. He just doesn't have a reason to be good."

Sarah stopped laughing and grew serious again. "He has you."

"And he protects me. Maybe not the right way, but he does. I never asked him to be good, I just asked him to be my brother. And he is."

Sarah raised her head and looked at him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"I know."

"No, I shouldn't comment on how good of a brother he is, or how good of a person he is. I don't know him enough for that."

Joe smiled and took a sip of his soda before putting it down again. "It's funny how you're this sweet girl now, but when you're with him you turn in this chick too confident that isn't scared of saying what she thinks."

Sarah raised an eyebrow but he continued. "Don't bullshit me, Sarah. I know you hate him. I know you enjoy upsetting him and honestly, I really don't understand why. And I'm not sure I wanna know." Sarah remained silent. "It's like you're two different people."

Sarah looked down, not knowing what to say. Joe took her chin between his fingers and raised her head back up. "But I like both, so I guess it's alright." He smiled to her, and she couldn't help but smile back.

"Thanks," she finally said. He didn't really understand why, but he nodded.

"You're really weird, you know?" he laughed.

"Yeah, that's what they say."

**Song: Killing in the name – Rage against the machine**

**Thanks for reading =D**


	5. 24 hours

**Here is chapter 5! Yay =)**

**I know it took a while, but I decided to take the help of a beta reader, so she revised my entire story that was posted again, if you feel like checking (though it's all the same, just written better).**

**That's why it took a long time, but now it's done, so it'll always be checked before it's posted, thanks to Mignun =D**

**Hope you like it!**

It was 6:30 a.m.

The red numbers flashed through Sarah's bedroom, screaming at her to wake up. It was another long, painful day of school, but Sarah didn't hear it. The alarm wasn't ringing because she intentionally turned if off the night before, knowing there was no need to go to school.

"_After revising your case and figuring out you already have all of the requirements to obtain a high school diploma, we have decided to exempt you from your further classes._"

She had never heard sweeter words in her life, especially from an authoritative figure like her principal.

Though, now she was pissed she had to go through a month of high school when it wasn't needed. Now she could sleep all through the morning knowing everyone else had to wake up. Furthermore, now she had all the free time she had, which meant she could work at the diner and save money for her own place.

Her parent's didn't enjoy the news, commenting that a girl her age needed all the time piling her brain with knowledge. They didn't want her working at the dangerous diner on the horrid part of town, but Sarah ignored her. It wasn't like she cared at what they thought anyway.

About four hours later, 11:43 to be exact, Sarah had finally waked that Friday morning. A smile grew across her face as she entered the kitchen and felt the silence in the house. The sound of her steps was the only noise she heard. Glancing out the kitchen window, she winced from the harsh sun illuminating in the off white kitchen.

"_What the hell happened to winter?"_ Sarah thought, "_It must be this goddamn global warming people keep talking about._"

She loved winter. Though she preferred the fall, since it was less cold, but she always enjoyed the beauty of winter. It turned the whole scenery into this white, freezing, and snowy winter wonderland.

She glanced out the window once more, and she loathed the sunshine that was outside. It was summer, the hottest, sweatiest season of them all. The only thing she liked about the season was the night, though she loved the night no matter what.

Sarah brought a glass of orange juice to her lips, taking a sip as she kept staring at the window, lost in her thoughts, before she was distracted by the ringing of her phone. She glanced at the small thing as it shook vividly on the counter and signed before she picked it up to see the name flashing on the screen: Joe. She quickly opened the phone and put it on her ear.

"Hey Joe," she said happily, trying to butter her toast as she managed to keep the phone between her ear and her shoulder.

"Where the fuck are you?" Joe's voice spoke, and Sarah couldn't help but laugh softly.

"At home," she simply said, bringing a toast to her mouth and biting it.

"Are you ok? Did something happen?" he asked, obviously worried for her. She swallowed her toast before answering.

"No, I don't have school anymore," she explained. There was a silence at the other end of the line.

"What? Wh- What are you talk- Why?" Joe rambled, and Sarah laughed again and she thought before she answered.

"Ask Emily, she'll explain it to you," she finally said, not feeling like explaining the whole thing again. There was another silence where Sarah just didn't know what to say, until Joe spoke again.

"So I'm not gonna see you every day anymore?" he said, his voice now lower, like he was sad. Sarah bit on her lip. She hadn't realised she wasn't going to see Joe as often as before.

"We'll see each other on the weekends," she tried. Joe sighed and didn't say anything again. "You can always come see me at the diner when you skip," she added with a smile. She heard Joe chuckle at the other line.

"Nice, I'll skip more now because of you," he told her, but his voice betrayed a smile that must be growing on his face. It was Sarah's turn to chuckle and shake her head.

"That's not what I meant," she corrected, still smiling.

"Yeah, right," Joe laughed at the other end, now in a better mood then five minutes ago. "Anyways, gotta go. _I_ have school," he teased, and Sarah laughed again. "See you tonight?"

"Yeah, meet me at the dinner" Sarah proposed.

"Got it," he simply said, and Sarah waited for him to say goodbye but he didn't.

"Goodbye Joe," she said weirdly, not knowing if he was still there.

"Bye beautiful," he said softly before hanging up, and Sarah couldn't help but laugh again as she did the same.

Around 4 o'clock later that afternoon, Sarah pulled up in front of the diner. Her full time schedule started next week, and she was actually excited to be doing something. Back at the house, she just sat around reading, listening to music, and enjoying the fact of not having to go to school. It was nice, but she was impatient to start working all day long. It would give her something to do in her life.

Even the idea of working this same night sounded excited, especially if you add the fact that Emily was going to be working the same shift.

The clock read 9:38 p.m.

"I can finally go home!" Emily said, exasperated.

"What do you mean? It's a Friday night!" Sarah exclaimed, waving her hands in the air. Emily rolled her eyes and passed by her friend. "Seriously, Emily, do you want to go out and do something?"

Emily went back to the kitchen, and Sarah was hot on her trail. "What could we possibly do, Sarah?"

"I don't know? Something interesting?"

Emily rolled her eyes once more, pointedly ignoring the man that was standing behind Sarah. "Could you be a little more specific?"

"I have an idea. Why don't you two girls come with me, and we'll drive my car somewhere. We can go to the bar and get drunk. Maybe we'll have the best night of our lives, and maybe I can get closer to Sarah. Sorry Emily, you're just not my type…"

Sarah and Emily turned to each other and burst out laughing. Joe became annoyed as the two tried to catch their breath. "I'm being serious, you guys."

"Man, Joe, you obviously never get it, do you? Sarah doesn't want to get close with you," Emily stated, wiping a tear off her cheek. Joe rolled his eyes and put his hands in his back pockets.

"I'm the one who's trying to give you girls ideas."

Sarah couldn't help but smile at his crestfallen expression. "Awe, you poor thing, thank you for this…quite tempting proposition, but-"

"We are totally not interested," Emily clarified.

"So what, are you two going to go home and up to bed? Trust me, you guys are not the two good little girls you're claiming to be," Joe remarked, winking at them. Emily made a fist and moved in towards his face. "Hey, that comment was towards Sarah. Right, baby?"

"What did I say about the whole name thing?" Sarah asked, deadpanned. Emily laughed and took off her apron. She quickly went to the back room to retrieve her things, as well as Sarah's.

Joe, on the other hand, wanted to spend the night with the two. "Look, why don't we go to the bar tonight?"

Emily put on her coat and locked up the cashier. She glowered at Joe. "That's not a good idea."

"The gang won't be there tonight. I promise," he reassured her as she glanced at her friend.

Sarah sighed, shrugging her shoulders. "Who cares if they're there or not? I'm not afraid of that man."

10h17 PM

"So why aren't they here?" Sarah asked as she pulled up in front of the _Four Roses_. Emily was sitting next to her on the passenger side and Joe was in the back of the car.

"They're working," he answered.

"All of them?"

"I'm one-hundred percent sure," he said got out of the car as Sarah and Emily fallowed them.

"And you don't?" Sarah wondered. Joe didn't answer and continued walking. Sarah turned to Emily and raised an eyebrow.

"Joe doesn't work for Billy," she explained. Joe sighed in front of them but Sarah told Emily to go on. "He says he's too young."

"He is," Sarah agreed, talking a little louder so Joe could hear her clearly. He sighed again and turned around.

"No, I'm not. Most of the guys started at my age."

He had stopped walking and was staring at Sarah. She could tell Joe was really pissed off he couldn't work for his brother, and he probably discussed it with him many times.

"But you're his brother," she tried.

"Exactly! Billy was already doing corners at sixteen for fuck's sake! Why can't I?"

Sarah remained silent as she hold Joe's stare. She wanted to tell him that it was probably to keep him safe that Billy refused to hire Joe. She could tell he thought it was because his older brother thought he wouldn't be good enough, or strong enough. She wanted to reassure him, but what did she know about Billy's intentions? She just hoped he loved his brother enough to keep him out of all this.

"I-I don't know," she finally answered.

Joe's features soften and he sighed. "Sorry. I didn't want to scream at you."

"It's okay."

The two teenagers locked eyes and smiled before they laughed and started walking again, followed by a confused Emily.

Sarah coughed as she stepped in The Four Roses. The air was filled with smoke, making it almost hard to see the back of the bar. There was a long counter on the left where a dozen of half drunken men were talking, drinking, and turning their heads as they walked passed them. There were tables on the right and some in the back. The very last table was empty and Joe led them towards it. Next to the table was another room with a pool table and Sarah could see a long corridor only lit by red lights going even further in the building. There was a very strong sent of alcohol and cigarettes that got Sarah to cough again and Joe to laugh at her.

"You'll get used to it," he said as he sat down and waved Sarah to sit with him. She slid in the booth facing him, and Emily sat next to him.

"This is... charming," she commented, getting Emily and Joe to laugh again.

"It's not the Ritz, but there's a pool table," Emily defended with a smile. Sarah nodded and smiled back.

"Joey!" Sarah, Emily and Joe turned their head to look at the smiling blond girl now standing next to them. She wasn't really tall, but not short either.

"Hey Megan." Joe smiled back at her.

"Oh, hi Emily," she continued, seeing Emily next to him. She turned to Sarah.

"This is Sarah," Joe said.

"Oh, _that_'s the girl," she said, analysing Sarah up and down. She laughed and turned to Joe again. "Where's everyone?" Sarah turned to her friend in disbelief and Emily gave her a sorry expression.

"Working," Joe spoke softly; clearly uncomfortable after the look Megan had given Sarah.

"Oh right, true." She nodded like she just remembered it. Sarah sighed and looked at Megan with a fake smile. She wasn't going to show her she got to her. "What can I get you guys?" she finally said, only looking at Joe and Emily.

"Beer for me," Joe said.

"Me too," Emily added. Megan nodded and turned to Sarah but didn't ask again. She raised an eyebrow in impatience.

"Water."

Emily and Joe gave her a funny look.

"I'm driving," she justified. Joe rolled his eyes and Emily smiled as Sarah kept looking at Megan with a bright fake smile. Megan rolled her eyes and left the table. Sarah's smile dropped. "Bitch," she added when the blond was far enough.

"She aint a bitch," Joe defended. Emily rolled her eyes.

"Yeah she is. She's always been a bitch but you were too busy fancying her to see it." Sarah laughed as Joe looked at Emily with an offended expression.

"I don't fancy her! She's Baggy's sister!" Joe pleaded, looking at Sarah for support, but all she could do was laugh at him even more. "Ah, come on!"

"It's not because she's Baggy's sister that you can't fancy her. You just can't fuck her, it's different." Joe rolled his eyes and looked away, unhappy of how his attempt of defending Megan had turned out. "And it's not because she's Baggy sister that she aint a bitch." Emily continued, turning to Sarah.

"Why did she look at me like that?" Sarah finally asked. Emily smiled and looked at Joe who had turned to her and whose eyes were pleading her not to talk.

"Joe talks a lot about you," she said, amused. Joe sighed and looked away again. He refused to lock eyes with Sarah.

"Is that so?" she asked him with a smile. Joe didn't answer.

"Yeah. At first, it was cute, but then it started to get a little annoying," Emily continued, still smiling as she glanced at Joe who seemed to want to be anywhere else but there. "Especially to Billy, 'cause, you know... he's not your biggest fan." Sarah rolled her eyes and nodded.

"What does it have to do with Megan?"

Emily paused, hesitant. It seemed like she was thinking it through, not really sure herself why Megan was being like that. "Megan, like pretty much any girl in the bar...or in this town, has kind of a crush on Billy. And...Whenever Joe talks about you, Billy is...he listens, you know?" Sarah waited for Emily to finish but the brunette remained silent.

"No, I don't know. What do you mean he listens?" Sarah raised an eyebrow.

"He listens to Joe. You would think he'd tell him to shut up or anything, but he doesn't. He just...listens and asks questions sometimes." Joe was now looking at Emily, but still distant.

"About me?" Emily nodded. "Why would he ask questions about me?"

"I don't know. That's what's weird. He never bothers about anything usually. I think that's why Megan's pissed."

The table stayed silent as Sarah was looking at Emily with a weird expression. "This doesn't make sense." Emily shrugged her shoulders.

"Here you go!" Megan broke their silence as she stood next to the table and put the two beers in front of Joe and Emily. Sarah raised an eyebrow when she noticed there wasn't anything else.

"I asked for water," she said. Megan turned to her and smiled.

"I know. We don't serve water here," she answered with the same annoying smile. "I'm sorry." She definitely wasn't really sorry. Sarah laughed in disbelief.

"You don't serve water?" Megan shook her head, still smiling with an evil look.

"It's not on the menu," She justified. Sarah laughed and took the menu in front of her, reading quickly what was on it.

"Fine, I'll have an iced tea." She finally said, looking back up to Megan. "_Without_ the tea," she added. Emily raised her hand to her mouth to control a laugh. "Is that ok for you or I'll have to write the recipe on a napkin?" Joe took a sip of his beer not to laugh as Megan's smile dropped and one grew on Sarah's face.

"I'll be back," Megan said and walked away, visibly pissed. As soon as she was gone, Joe and Emily burst out laughing.

"That was funny," Joe said when he had finished laughing.

"Quelle conne," Sarah spoke in French.

"What?" Before Sarah could answer, Emily turned her head to the left after hearing the front door open. "Oh fuck," she said.

"What?" Joe followed her gaze and his eyes widened. "Oh shit."

"What?" Sarah followed their gaze and she rolled her eyes. "Oh great."

Looking towards the entrance of the bar, the three saw Bodie, Heco, and Tommy. Their gaze went straight to the back table and they smiled when they saw Joe. Without bothering to check who the two girls were – Sarah suspected they were used to have some random chicks sitting with them – they walked towards them and stopped next to the table.

"'Sup, Joe?" Bodie asked. They shared a gangster handshake, and he stepped back so Tommy could see his girlfriend. They kissed and he sat next to her. Bodie sat next to Sarah and waved her to move to leave room for Heco who sat next to him without even looking at her.

"Weren't you working tonight?" Joe asked, visibly anticipating the moment where the guys would notice Sarah's presence.

"Started early. We finished now," Bodie said.

"Where are the others?"

"Still working or doing some shit, I don't know. Why?" Bodie raised an eyebrow at Joe who shook his head.

"Just asking." Bodie nodded and there was a silence.

"Where's that goddamn waitress?" he asked, impatient. Just when he said that, Megan stood next to the table with a glass of water in her hand. She put it down in front of Sarah.

"Here's your iced tea," She said. Bodie, Tommy and Heco finally looked at her and their eyes widened for a second.

"Thanks," Sarah said softly.

"Aint very brown for an iced _tea_," Heco said.

"It's an iced tea without tea," Sarah answered. They all raised an eyebrow. "I just invented it. It's called _water_," she continued as Megan's face grew red in anger as Joe and Emily laughed and the rest of the guys smiled. "You like it?"

"Love it. Couldn't have thought about it myself," Bodie answered sarcastically, but with a soft smile.

"Beers," Bodie said to Megan who was still standing there and quickly walked away. "Been a while," he continued, turning to Sarah. She nodded and took a sip of water. He looked at Joe with an accusing expression. "So you and Joe, huh?" he said with an amused smile. The guys laughed with Emily as Sarah smiled and Joe rolled his eyes.

"Yeah. He's my sunshine," She answered with a hint of sarcasm. Emily laughed again. The guys looked between the two, not sure if it was a joke, as Joe grew red.

"Really?" Tommy asked. "Aint that cute, Joe?" They laughed again as Joe took a sip of his beer.

"Don't be shy, _baby_,we can't hide it forever," Joe laughed and put his beer down.

"Oh you're calling me 'baby' now?" he asked. Sarah nodded and laughed too. Megan came back again and served the guys before walking away without a word.

"Someone's in a bad mood," Heco said. Emily and Sarah laughed, getting the guys to raise an eyebrow at them again.

"You're kinda nice when you're not a bitch," Bodie said. The table went silent as they waited for Sarah's answer.

"Thanks...I guess," She stated. They laughed and the atmosphere got less tensed.

11h43 PM

The night was going great with the boys. To Sarah's surprise, they were being very nice to her, and they didn't even mention what happened at the Darley apartment. Bodie even went so far as to flirt with her, but Sarah suspected that the alcohol was quickly getting into his veins. He switched to whisky after two beers, and he continued with it for the first of the night. Even when Sarah could clearly state that she wasn't interested, Bodie would go on and try to put his arms around his shoulders.

She would have been annoyed by now if she didn't know his intentions were to make Joe jealous, which was painfully not working since the latter was flirting with a blond girl by the pool table. This made her realize that Joe had no feelings for her. He only believed that he just wanted to get laid because a girl actually got along with him, and it didn't hurt that she was hot.

It didn't matter to her. Joe was simply a brother.

"No, I've never done that, Bodie," Sarah answered to his question.

"Never?"

"Never."

"Baby, you gotta try that! You really don't know what you're missing," he continued, taking another long sip of whisky.

"Yeah I think I got that part. And _don't_ call me baby," she replied. Bodie laughed as she rolled her eyes.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not your baby, goddamn it!" she sighed and sat higher in her chair.

"Ok, relax ba- Sarah." Emily laughed as Bodie saved himself at the last moment. She smiled to Sarah but her friend just rolled her eyes again.

"The smoke's making me dizzy, I think I'll go outside, get some fresh air."

Bodie raised an eyebrow and looked at little worried. "You okay?"

She rose quickly from her seat and turned around, heading to the front door. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just... I need air."

The moment she felt the warm breeze on her face, she felt better. She hadn't really realized how much it was hard to breathe in there and she was now relieved to feel the air in her throat, filling her lungs and going back out slowly. She didn't know how much time she just stayed there, breathing, with her eyes closed and her hands on her hips, but it felt like a long time until she heard the familiar rumble of a car. He eyes popped open just in time to see the black mustang pull up front of the bar, exactly where she had parked _her_ car...Wait. Where was her car? Sarah's mouth opened as she stepped forward in the parking, looking left and right, hoping she had been mistaken. She hadn't. Her car definitely wasn't there.

"Fuck!" Sarah shouted.

"That's exactly what I was thinking."

Sarah stopped to look around and locked eyes with Billy Darley who was standing next to his car. He was looking at her with angry eyes and his fists tighten. She was surprised he could have talked so softly seeing how pissed he looked right now. Her eyes went up and down his body, only realising now how muscular he was. And how tall! She had only seen him sitting in his apartment and in his car, but now that he was there, all proudly standing in front of her, she couldn't help but think the guy was damn tall. Damn scary too, if you thought further about it, but Sarah was too pissed about her car to do that.

"But it sounded more like: what the fuck are you doing here?" he continued, taking Sarah out of her thoughts.

She frowned at him now that his voice was stronger, lower, and angrier. He smirked, and she realised he was probably thinking she was reacting like that due to his presence, and Sarah rolled her eyes.

"What I do is none of your business," she answered, only for him to stop smirking as she became the confident girl again.

"I told you to stay away."

He refused to move, still staring at her with his intense blue eyes. The parking wasn't fully lit and only the moon shone down them, reflecting in his eyes, and Sarah couldn't help but think it was kind of beautiful.

"Actually, you told _Emily_ that, and I think you only talked about your apartment. _This_ is not your apartment," she answered, pointing and the door behind her.

"I meant to stay away from _me_, pretty," he corrected. Sarah rolled her eyes.

"If you have a problem with me, _you_ stay away. I don't have a problem with anyone, so I'll do whatever I want, _gorgeous,_" She replied. Billy paused at the 'gorgeous' part but continued anyway.

"No, _I_ do whatever the fuck I want, and if I don't want you to be around, you won't. Got that?" He finally took a step closer to her but she didn't move, holding his stare with a raised eyebrow.

"You don't want me to be around you? What, you scared?" she smirked as Billy took another step closer and laughed shortly before becoming serious again.

"Of you? Who would be scared of a little kid like you?"

Sarah's smirk faded as Billy was getting closer again, now only a meter away from her. "I'm not a kid," she said, clearly less amused then before. Billy smirked as he realised he had touched the weak spot.

"True, you're what, fourteen or fifteen now? You're a grown woman," he said sarcastically. Sarah forced a smile to show he hadn't taken control of the situation.

"I'm 18, dumbass," she spoke between her teeth. Billy's jaw clenched at the insult but he smirked again, taking a last step closer to her. He was now facing her, eyes to eyes, as Sarah was on the first step of the _Four Roses_ entrance and Billy was at ground level. He didn't really like having her that tall, but it was easier to look at her in the eyes, one of his best weapons being his own that would intimidate any soul that dared look inside of them too deeply. Unfortunately, once again, Sarah was holding his stare and didn't even flinch. Billy's jaw clenched harder as he hoped she would back down, but she didn't.

What was it with this girl? He couldn't get her, couldn't understand why she acted certain ways, how she reacted to situations. He had tried to get something out of Joe to know what kind of a girl she was and figure out why she was like that, but it didn't work. According to him, she was a very normal girl: rich parents, big house, and good at school. She was funny, always smiling, pretty but no boyfriend. There was nothing to explain what he was seeing right there in her eyes: this impression of having seen too many things, having experienced something that changed you forever. He could tell it only by looking in her eyes: she wasn't the innocent girl she pretended to be. Something had happened; but what?

"I gotta go," she finally said. She walked down the stairs and around him, heading to the dark streets.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?" he finally asked, turning his head to look at her. She didn't even stop to answer him.

"Home."

"Alone, in those streets?"

Sarah stopped and turned around. "My car's gone."

Billy raised an eyebrow and looked around. Her crappy old car wasn't there. "So you're just gonna walk away?" He was facing her now.

"What do you want me to do, call the cops? They'll never find it, and the car had no insurance, so there's really no point in doing that." Billy's expression didn't change.

"It'd be smarter than just try to walk home by yourself in this part of town." He replied. Sarah sighed. "A pretty little thing like you is fresh meat to the punks hanging around here."

"Like you care what happens to me." She rolled her eyes and started walking away again.

"Hey!" Billy shouted, but Sarah didn't answer and continued to walk. He hesitated a second, then followed her. "Fucking women," he mumbled under his breath as he jogged to get beside her. Sarah was now on the sidewalk, half hidden by the building's shadow. When she saw him next to her, she sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Go away," she spoke sternly. Billy walked faster, enough to be able to stand in front of her and get her to stop. "What are you doing?"

"Don't be a fucking child right now, just go back to the bar; I'll give you a ride."

Sarah eyes widened in surprise and she laughed. "I thought you didn't want me around."

"That doesn't mean I want you dead," he replied. Sarah raised an eyebrow.

"Thanks, but I can take care of myself."

She tried walking passed him but he moved to block her way again. "Really? So if you met a guy, let's say: my size, and he tries to bring you in the back alley to rape you and then kill you, you would be able to get away?" Sarah paused a second, hesitating, and nodded. "Prove it."

Sarah raised an eyebrow and swallowed. She didn't know where he was going with this, and she wasn't sure she liked it.

"What do you mean?" she asked. Billy didn't answer and, before she could react, he grabbed her by the waist and shoved her on his shoulder like a he would carry a bag. Sarah tried to get away, but he was already walking and wasn't letting go of her until he had reached his destination. She kicked her legs but he held them in place. "BILLY, PUT ME DOWN, NOW!" she screamed.

"Shut up!" he said and he continued walking. She looked left and right to see where they were heading and realized in horror he was bringing her in an alley.

"NO! LET ME GO!" He ignored her screaming and finally turned in the alley where he continued walking a bit and finally let her slide back on her feet. As soon as she felt the ground above her feet, she tried to run away but Billy violently pushed her on the brick wall. She screamed but stopped when he put his hand on her mouth, pressing her body closer to the wall, holding her too arms with only one hand and keeping her legs from moving by blocking them with his. She was completely trapped, at the complete mercy of no one else then Billy Darley, the infamous gangster, leader of a feared gang, in a dark alley where no one could hear her.

"So?" he asked. His face was dangerously close to hers. She could feel his breath on her face as he whispered slowly. "What are you gonna do now?" Sarah shook her head to be free from his hand on her mouth but he didn't give in and continued to restrain her from talking. "Not so fast, pretty. You said you could get away. Show me."

Sarah stared at him for a second. She couldn't believe he was actually doing this. Billy smirked, waiting for her to do something, but she still didn't move. She knew perfectly well that even if she tried, she could never get away. He was way too strong for her and he knew it; he was just enjoying proving her he was the boss; he was in control and there was nothing she could do.

"I could do whatever I want with you right now," he confirmed. "I could kill you right here and no one would hear you. No one would know it was me." Sarah tried to talk but her words got lost in his palm. He finally let go of her mouth and she sighed. His grip hurt her face.

"Why don't you just do it, then?" Billy definitely wasn't expecting this response and he raised an eyebrow.

"Because I don't kill for nothing," he answered like it was obvious. "You want me to kill you?" he asked, still shocked at her question. She paused a second.

"No," she spoke softly. "It's just that if you ever decided you wanted to kill me, you could do it now, it'd be done."

Billy didn't know what to answer as he stared at her in disbelief. She definitely didn't realise what she was saying. "Why would I want to kill you?"

"You tell me. You're the one who can't stand my presence."

Billy sighed. "Well you're the one who started the bitch act in the first place."

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Sorry I hurt your feelings," she said sarcastically. Billy signed again in frustration.

"Don't look for my bad side, pretty, you might find it." Sarah smirked.

"Oh, I will," she whispered closer to his ear. Billy sighed again, and held her a little tighter, only for her face to squeeze in pain. Billy smirked; amused at the fact he finally got to make his point. First: her attempt of seeming like a tough girl had failed, he now knew – and he hoped she did too – that there was no point in trying to piss him off, she would just end up hurt because she wasn't strong enough for him. Two: There was no way she could defend herself in those streets if she couldn't take him. Sure, he was bigger than most people, but bad guys are rarely alone, and if she couldn't take one guy, she definitely couldn't take a couple.

"Stop playing the big girl with me, we both know you're nothing like it," he whispered, half angry and half amused. "Girls like you just don't stand a chance." Sarah's jaw clenched as she send a murderous look to Billy.

"You don't know me, Darley. Don't make the mistake of thinking that you do, 'cause you don't know shit!" she spoke between her teeth. Billy chuckled at her comment, surprised but satisfied to have upset her like that. Not only did it seem like she wanted kill him right there, she had also called him by his last name for the first time, and people only did that when they were pissed. They would call him Mr. Darley sometimes too, but that's when they were scared, and Sarah definitely wasn't scared. She was furious.

"I know more than you think, pretty. I know all about girls like you. You've always had everything you wanted; daddy was always there to give it to you. Never worked a day of your life, ya think you're the shit 'cause you skipped class once or twice, and you talk back to your mommy, but you can't throw a punch straight." Sarah jaw clenched harder as she continued to stare at him the best she could, but she knew if he kept talking she'd eventually start crying – not in sadness, but more in frustration – because she just couldn't take it what he was saying anymore. She managed to move from his grip as he was too busy bitching her but he was faster and caught her again before pushing her back on the wall, taking each of her wrist in his hands and placing them above her head, keeping her firmly in place.

"You almost got me there, baby," he said as he chuckled again.

"DON'T CALL ME BABY!" She screamed before even realizing she did. Billy stepped back, clearly not expecting such a reaction, and then moved closer again before she could do anything.

"Woah, take it easy, _pretty_. I won't call you baby anymore," he reassured her. Sarah features soften a bit as she calmed down.

"Anyways, all I'm saying is: whatever you're trying to do with me, stop it. I'm too much for you," he added. Sarah's anger flew away as she laughed, to Billy surprise.

"Who told you this had anything to do with _you_?" Billy raised an eyebrow and he studied her face, expecting to see some kind of sarcasm in her expression, but there wasn't. She was dead serious. "So, you gonna let me go or what?" Billy looked down to their position. He had almost forgotten he was still holding her to the wall. He hesitated a second and finally loosen his grip before stepping back. Sarah sighed as she rubbed her wrist – Billy was really holding her firmly.

"Come on." He turned around and started walking back towards the street. Sarah hesitated a second. He was now a couple of steps ahead of her, which meant that she probably had a chance to get away if she ran for it. But was it the best option? The bastard turned out to be right: she could hardly defend herself out there. And as overly uncomforting and dangerous-looking getting in Billy's car seemed to be, it was pretty much the best option she had. Letting go of a long sigh, she finally agreed to follow him and quicken her steps to reach his side.

1h16 AM

Billy finally pulled up in front of her house but didn't stop the engine. He kept staring ahead as he waited for her to get out.

"Thanks," she said softly. He turned his head to look at her and nodded as an answer. She opened her mouth to say something else but stopped herself. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to push it. Instead, she just got out of the car. She walked towards her door as she heard the car driving away and the sound of the tires as he turned in the corner of the street and disappeared in the night.

It's when she finally arrived on her door steps that it hit her: her keys were in her car. Fuck. She sighed and raised her finger to ring the door bell but stopped. Did she really want to wake up her parents at this hour? Did she really want to see their disappointed face when she would explain her car was gone? No. If her dad found out her car had been stolen, there's no way he'd let her have her own apartment in college. He'd take it as an excuse for her to stay right there with them, saying that if she wasn't responsible enough to have a car, how could she have an apartment? Sitting on the door step, Sarah let her head rest on the door and sighed again. She'd wait until the morning and pretend she had slept at Emily's. Yeah, she would say Emily had given her a ride and her car was still there. That would give her enough time to buy a new one, hopefully upgraded, saying she wanted a better car. That sounded like a good idea. Before she could think further about it, she felt her eyes go heavy and slowly, she drifted into sleep.

"Sarah?"

Sarah jump from her position and stood still, staring at her father who was looking at her with surprise, a cup of coffee in his hand, still in his pyjamas.

"Hey dad," she sniffed, not fully awake after being caught sleeping on her door step.

"What in the world are you doing here?" he asked.

"It's a long story. I'll tell you all about it later, ok?"

Before her dad could answer, she entered the house and went straight to her room where she jumped on her bed with a long sigh. She glanced at the clock and laughed. It was 6:30 a.m. once again. The red numbers flashed through her room as she went back to sleep.

**Feel free to review =)**


	6. Memories

**Well hello everyone =)**

**I'm back with a new chapter, oh yeah!**

**This one is a little different because it's mostly flashbacks (2). **

**You'll notice I gave up on the French/English thing, it wasn't really necessary to the story, so it's just English now, though Sarah and her parents and Jade (new character) speak French together, but you've just got to imagine that hehe ;)**

**Also, the story is now on Sarah's POV, I'm not sure it's going to be like that for the rest of the story, but it will for a couple of chapters so I hope that's okay with everyone. **

**This is more of a filler chapter because only Sarah is in it, but the action comes back in chapter 7, so don't worry.**

**I hope you like it and don't forget to review!**

The little girl was giggling as she ran from her friend; her blond curly hair swinging as she jumped up and down, amazed that she had won the race. She kept laughing as the little boy finally reached her side. His young little face was twisted in anger. The little girl grimaced and laughed again, causing the little boy to laugh with her. I watched them from across the street, staring at the little kids. I didn't mean to look at them that much, but I couldn't help but stop when I had first seen them. They were young, not older than five years old, and I listened to their conversation as they tried to sound like adults. They were both wearing rubber booths, jumping up and down in what was left of the snow on the ground. Spring had taken its toll, and all the snow and ice left on the floor almost finished melting. I sighed and watched them point at something in a tree, the exact thing that really made me stop in the first place. In a big tree laid a wooden house, built with wood boardwalks and painted different colors. The kids were excited because the end of winter meant they got to play in it during the summer. I admitted it; there are good things about summer. I still loved winter much more, especially back home.

_My feet were swinging up and down as I stared at my boots absently. My butt was almost burnt as it sat on the hood of my parents' car; the engine rumbled under me. My father came out of the house, carrying different bags in each arm. He sighed deeply as soon as he saw me. I smiled at him, and he motioned for me to get off of the car. My dad definitely didn't know what being cold meant (he was like a walking fire), but that didn't mean that _I_ wasn't cold. Every inch of my body was freezing like hell, and I could barely move my fingers through my gloves as I tried to warm them with my breath. I smiled at the sight of the fog coming out of my mouth, created by the contrast between my hot breath and the ice cold air around me. _

_It was going to be three days. That's how long my parents were going to leave me alone as they decided to go see my sick grandmother in Quebec City. They were only three hours away, but it meant the world to me. Well, to the 16 years old girl I was back then. I could do whatever I wanted, be with whoever I wanted, eat whatever I wanted, without my parents looking over my shoulder to tell me if what I was doing was okay. Footsteps distracted my thoughts, and I turned my head to the left to see my mother walking down the stairs of the house, passing by me as she continued towards the car._

"_Is everything ready?" she asked my father as he closed the trunk of the car._

"_Yeah, we're good to go." _

_My mother nodded and she turned to me. She had that look on her face, the one she did when she didn't trust me with something. Her eyebrows narrowed in a thin line as she took quick steps towards me. I hated when she did that, like she was already accusing me for something I hadn't done yet. She stopped a meter away from me, and I couldn't help but smile victoriously at her, knowing that whatever she told me, it wouldn't change anything about my plans for the weekend. I knew her threats were pointless because there was no way my mom would cancel her trip to my grandmother's, and there wasn't much she could punish me with. I usually didn't listen to her anyway. I was so thrilled they decided to leave me here instead of forcing me to go with them; nothing could hurt my mood right now. Not being obligated to spend a weekend with that little grey haired bitch my mom called her mother was like a gift from heaven._

"_Now you listen to me, young lady and you listen to me real good," she started. I rolled my eyes as she lift a finger to point to my face. "No parties, no boys, lock the door when you leave, lock it during the night, don't open the door to strangers, eat your three meals-"_

"_Ok, mom, I get it! Everything will be just fine, I promise." I tried to smile at her, but her eyes squinted as she tried to find any hint of a lie in my face. "Try to relax and enjoy your weekend." I placed my hands on her shoulders to turn her around and direct her to the car. She walked a couple of steps with me before releasing from my grip and turning to me._

"_The numbers are on the fridge. If anything happens, call us." _

_I nodded as I turned her around again and pushed her to the car. She walked towards her door, placing her hand on it, before she looked at me again. I could see my father rolling his eyes behind the wheel as he waited for his wife to join him. _

"_If something bad happens, you'll regret it for the rest of your life, you hear me?" _

_I rolled my eyes again. "Yes, mom." _

_She eyed me a couple more seconds before she entered the car. I sighed in satisfaction as I watched the car going down the parking and in the street, before it turned to the left and sped down the road. Finally!_

_I blinked twice, seeing the snowflakes stick to my eye lashes, and I smiled and looked up to the sky. It was like an army of little white snowflakes were falling on me, attacking my face with the sweet cold feeling of their melting on my skin. This day couldn't get any better._

"_Hey there, lunatic." I looked down to the brunette standing before me. She was a younger version of me. People would always say we looked like sisters, and we would always have to specify that we were only cousins. Her long brown hair was flowing through the wind as she smiled and walked towards me._

"_Jade!" She jumped in my arms to give a huge hug, squeezing me like a teddy bear. "Can'," I managed to say, coughing. She laughed and let go of me as I smiled at her. "What was that for?"_

"_What, can't I hold my cousin when I see her?" she asked, faking to be shocked._

"_Yes but you don't have to kill me doing it!" I replied, only for her to laugh and shake her head._

"_But I love you!" she pleaded. I chuckled and smiled at her as she started walking towards my door._

"_I love you two, darling," I declared. She turned her head to smile at me and started walking again as I followed her. "What are you doing here?" I asked when we reached the door._

"_I came to help for the party." She opened the door as I stood there, confused._

"_What party?"_

"_Tonight's party!" She turned to me, one boot in her hand, as I closed to door behind me. "Didn't Catherine tell you?" I raised an eyebrow and started unzipping my coat._

"_No! She organised a party at my house and didn't bother talking to me about it?" I asked, shocked. She hadn't told me anything about a party, especially not at my house, while my younger cousin knew everything about it. She was 14, but since I had introduced her to my friends, she fit right in. She was much more sociable than I was, and I even suspected that my friends secretly liked her more than they liked me._

"_You know how Kate is," she explained. I wasn't fully satisfied with her response but I didn't push it. I had planned to do a party anyway; I just didn't think I would be the last one to know about it._

"_Who's coming?" I asked, but she shrugged and walked towards the kitchen. It had always been like that between us. My home was her home, and vice versa. We had grown up together, so it was just normal to feel comfortable around each other. "What's that supposed to mean?"_

"_Everybody's coming, Sarah!" she shouted from the kitchen. I finally finished taking off my boots and walked towards the kitchen to join her. She was sitting at the counter, apple juice in hand._

"_Everybody?"_

"_Yup." She took a sip of her juice as I sighed._

"_I wanted to take it cool tonight," I pleaded. Jade rolled her eyes._

"_You're so boring sometimes."_

"_I'm not boring! I'm just not as crazy as you are," I replied. She laughed and drank again. I sat next to her and stole her glass to drink her juice. _

"_Hey!" _

"_Too late, I finished it." I laughed as she rolled her eyes, smiling. We both sighed at the same time as we looked out the window, staring at my white snowy backyard. "You know what would be cool?" She turned to me and shook her head, waiting for me to go on. "A snowball fight." Jade smiled widely as we both jumped off the counter and ran towards the door, rushing to put on our clothes and escaped the house, ready for the biggest fight in history._

I smiled to myself thinking of that day as I kept watching the kids. It was the last snowball fight I ever had. It was the last winter I enjoyed, actually. After that, everything was just plain boring. Everything was pointless. Nobody's presence made a difference, even Jade's.

Jade. She had called about 15 times since I got here. I never called back. I hate talking on the phone; I just suck at it. I like letters better. I had written her a letter, but I hadn't sent it. I don't know why, but I was scared of what she'd write back. I was scared to know what was going on there while I was here. I wasn't really sure I wanted to know anything about it.

"Quit complaining and do something!" Jade would tell me. I bet Joe would say that too. Now that I think about it, I guess Jade and Joe would really get along. Joe is like a manly version of Jade.

I felt something cold falling on my head, followed by a dozen other until I finally looked up to the grey cloud in the sky. Before I had a chance to move, rain was falling hard and I was wet from head to toe. I sighed and brought my arms over my head in an attempt to cover myself, but it didn't help at all and I let them slide back down my body, still staring at the kids now running towards the house as their parents let them in. As cold and uncomfortable as I felt, I couldn't help but think of how much I love rain. Though, sometimes it brings back hurtful memories.

_The echo was unbearable. Every time someone coughed, sniffed, breathed too loudly, it would echo in the whole church and everyone would hear it like the noise came from right next to them. No one dared to speak as our eyes were fixed on the coffin before us. This was definitely the second worst day of my life. The worst day was the one that lead to this day. The day in which everything changed, and resulted into this: a funeral._

_I hate funerals, just like anybody else, but this was not any funeral. Never did I have to deal with the loss of someone this close to me. Most times it was an old great aunt, or a grandfather I never met, or one of my parents' friends that I had only met once. But this was not one of those times. This time, it was the person that counted the most to me. He was a part of me, everything I wanted to be. He was the only one who cared. And now he was gone. His dead corpse laid in a wooden box right in front of me, and soon enough he would be six feet under the ground. _

_I felt someone's hand cover mine, and I turned my head to Jade sitting beside me. She smiled weakly at me, multiple tears falling down her cheeks. I tried to smile back but I couldn't. It was like the muscles of my face could only twist in sadness as I held back a sob. It had only been three months since the snowball fight. It was spring now, and I could hear the rain crashing in the church's windows as I looked back at the coffin. The priest was talking about how good of a person he had been, how much he would be missed, and how God would welcome him up there. Blah-blah-blah. Seriously, if there was really a God, he wouldn't be dead. He didn't deserve to die. There was no way I was still here if he wasn't. It's unfair. I kept staring at the coffin, no longer listening to the priest, as I heard his voice echoing in the church without being able to understand the words._

_There was a silence, and I didn't understand why the priest was looking at me. I turned to Jade and she waved towards the front, telling me to stand up and go. I raised an eyebrow and was about to ask her what was going on when I got it. I was supposed to talk. The little piece of paper lightly folded in my hands wasn't there for nothing, it was my speech. I shook my head, refusing to stand up and talk in front of everyone. There wasn't much to say, anyway. I would miss him. I already missed him. I didn't want to go there and say that he was a good man, that he was funny and intelligent, and that he would have had a wonderful life if he hadn't tragically died three days ago. I didn't want to talk about moments we spent together or what I liked the most about him. I didn't want to talk at all. I knew the words would get stuck in my throat and I would just end up crying in front of everyone. Jade sighed and waved towards the front again, urging me to go as her eyes got wider, obviously stressed out that I was going to make a scene and leave._

"_Go," she whispered loudly, only for me to shake my head again. She looked passed me and locked eyes with my mom sitting to my left, asking her silently to say something that would make me change my mind._

"_Sarah, go," she ordered me. Like that was helping. Jade seemed to agree and rolled her eyes, clearly not satisfied by my mother's attempt to help. I sighed and looked up front, determined not to let them influence me. Though I knew I should go and talk. It was the least I could do. Still, I couldn't feel my legs anymore and I was sure that if I tried to stand up, I would end up falling on my butt. Jade finally stood up, taking me by the arm as she did so, and pulled with her as she walked towards the front. I thought she was a little rough, considering the bandages around my body, and my face twisted in pain as she walked quickly, going up the stairs in a couple steps. I could feel people's eyes on me as we reached the priest. He sent me an accusing look and moved aside to let me take his place behind the microphone. _

_I turned my body towards the crowds, my sweaty hands barely holding on to the piece of paper as I tried to unfold it. Jade smiled at me, going back down the stairs and where she had been sited before her cruel betrayal. I cleared my throat, but I doubt it did a difference since I could barely open my mouth to speak. All I could do was stare at the hundred pair of eyes sitting in front of me, waiting for me to say something, clearly impatient. I kept looking down at the words on the sheet and then back to the crowd, without being able to make a transition between what was written and what I was suppose to say. See, I was never really good at talking in public. High school oral presentations were my worst nightmare and every time I ended up in front of more than five people, I would start shaking and sweating and I couldn't think straight. Or I would freeze, which is exactly what I was doing right now. Still, and I don't know how I did it, I miraculously started talking. _

"_When-When we were younger, Nathan and I, we, hum, we had this tree house in my back yard…" _

_I cleared my throat again, not really believing I was actually saying this. I had no idea where I was going but I just kept talking, almost only looking down at the paper that I had refolded as I did so._

"_It's still there, actually. It's, um, it's all destroyed and stuff, but it's there. And, we would go there during summer; we would play and pretend that we were older. We would say that we were grownups, and that we were married and he would go to work during the day and come back to the house, and I would be waiting for him with, with dinner." I smiled and the memory. Some people laughed weakly but I could barely hear them. "As we grew older we went our separate ways for a while. Nathan was older than me; he didn't want to be bothered with a little kid like me. But still we stayed very close and at some point age didn't matter. He was more than..." I paused. I knew what I was saying didn't make sense and was probably the worse funeral speech someone had ever did but I couldn't stop myself from talking. They wanted me to talk: well they got what they wished for. "...he was my best friend," I finished, wiping a tear from cheek. "He said, he said he was going to be there whenever I needed him. He said he would never abandon me, that we would always have each others." I stopped again, not being able to stop myself from crying. "But he's gone now and…he was a very good man," I finally said, not even bothering to say things that meant something, knowing Nathan couldn't hear me anyway. "And we'll all miss him very much," I concluded. I looked up to the crowd. They applauded hesitantly, not sure if I was finished or if my speech was worth a clap, but I didn't give them a chance to figure it out and just went straight back to my place without looking at anyone._

"_What happened to your speech?" Jade asked me. I didn't look at her and shrugged. She hesitated a second, and spoke again. "This one was good too," she lied. I didn't answer and kept staring at the coffin. Jade understood I didn't want to talk and dropped it, fallowing my gaze as we waited for the ceremony to finish._

_When everything that was supposed to happen in the church concluded, we were finally able to go outside, heading towards the cemetery. The rain had stopped, but people were still walking under their umbrellas, scared that out of a sudden it would start raining again. My mom was proudly standing in front of me, umbrella in hand, with her large hat and black sunglasses, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the cliché she was pulling at the god damn funeral. Jade tried to take my hand as we were walking, but I refused to let her. I mean, I never held her hand before; I wasn't going to start now just because I'm sad._

_We finally ended up next to the hole. It was big, rectangular, and deep, and I frowned as the sight of Nathan's new home. The coffin was already there, waiting for us, as people looked down at it. The priest had followed, too._

"_Blah-blah-blah, Blah-blah-blah, blah-blah." the priest said, but I didn't listen to him. It was long and boring, and I couldn't express how much I wanted to leave. Hell, I would have rather be home – and I hated being home – than being here. We all threw dirt on Nathan coffin, like he needed more of that. I don't know how long I just stood there, looking down at him, as the ceremony finished and people lined up to shake the family's hands. At the end of the day, I was so fed up to hear the words 'sorry for your loss' that I would have killed anyone who would have said it again – but that wouldn't have helped, now, would it? _

_Hours later, everyone was gone. Jade and I were left there, staring at the grave, tears in our eyes and a frown on our face. What a picture._

"_Let's go," Jade said, taking my arm as she tried to bring me with her. I shook her off and didn't move, still looking at the grave. "Sarah, come on," she insisted._

"_No. I don't want to go," I whispered._

"_We have to go; your mom's waiting for us," she said, now a couple meters behind me as she waited for me to join her._

"_I don't want to leave him," I pleaded. Jade sighed behind me and came back, standing beside me._

"_Sarah, he's dead. He'll still be here tomorrow," she said coldly. I turned my head to look at her, my eyes blinded by a wall of tears. "I'll miss him too. We all will. But that doesn't mean we don't have to go on." I blinked twice, letting the tears fall, as I started at her in disbelief. How could she say that? He was only dead for three days. "I know it's hard for you, maybe harder than any of us, but... it wasn't your fault."_

"_You know that's not true," I spat with anger. _

"_Sarah, please don't do this. What happened 'happened', you can't change it. Now, let's go." She turned away and walked towards my mother next to the car, leaving me there. _

_Sometimes everything is just shit._

The rain was falling hard, and I could barely see the sidewalk as I tried to find my way back home. Not that I really wanted to go there; there was just nowhere else to go. I finally ended up on the front steps of my house, so wet that jumping in the pool wouldn't even make a difference.

"Oh, dear god, Sarah, you're all wet!" my mom shouted as I entered the house.

"Yeah, it's raining," I simply stated. She threw a towel towards me, and I caught it weakly.

"Jade called," she said, stopping to look at me with intense eyes.

"Okay."

What do you want me to say to this?

"Aren't you going to call her back?" she asked, visibly disappointed that my attitude towards Jade's phone calls hadn't changed. I shrugged and walked passed her, my foot squeaking on the wooden floor as I ran up the stairs. My mom seemed to make a big deal about me not calling Jade back, but I couldn't care less. I was better off pretending I hadn't left anything behind, though I knew that wasn't true. "Emily's upstairs," she added. I stopped in the middle of the stairs, turning around to look at my mom with a raised eyebrow. "She came here half an hour ago. I knew you were going to come back soon so I let her in. That okay?" she explained. I hesitated, then nodded and climbed up the remaining stairs, heading for my room. Emily was sitting on my bed, looking at a picture she had just put out of the box my aunt had sent us. Oh crap. Her head lift up when she heard me come in.

"Oh, hi!" she greeted me, a big smile on her face. "Your mom let me in."

"I know." I walked slowly towards her as her eyes went back to the picture.

"You look so pretty on this one," she said, handing me the picture. It was me, Jade and Nathan, in my backyard. It was summer and we were all smiling, Nathan having each arm around our shoulders. I was fifteen. "Who's this guy? He's on a lot of pictures," Emily added. I didn't look at her, just kept staring at them on the picture. I missed them so much. "He's a soldier," she said, not really asking a question. She pointed at the picture glued to my mirror, the one with only Nathan and me. He was wearing his uniform. I nodded and put the pictures back in the box. "Hey, what are you doing?" Emily asked.

"Can we do something else?" I asked back. Emily sighed.

"Why?"

"Because these are old, and I look stupid."

"What? You look hot! I don't know why you stopped dressing like you did before, you looked much better. Look at you!" she said, pointing at a picture she had just took out of the box. I was wearing a rather sexy dress and was about to go out with friends. I was sixteen, a couple of months before Nathan's death. I did look hot. "Where is this girl? She looks awesome! And she smiles more," Emily continued.

"She's still there, ok! She just... doesn't dress the same," I defended, grabbing the pictures in her hand and putting it back in the box.

"You should dress like that more. You look like a freaking top model." I rolled my eyes and kicked the box in my dresser. "Seriously! Guys would be at your feet if you stopped hiding yourself behind your clothes!"

"I don't want guys to be at my feet, Em!" I answered harshly. Emily sighed. "Maybe you like it that men look at you like you're a piece of meat whenever you pass by them on the street, but I don't," I continued. Emily seemed a little hurt but did her best to hide it.

"At least I have a boyfriend," she defended.

"Good for you," I answered sarcastically.

"Don't you want a boyfriend, Sarah?" she asked. I shrugged and sat beside her on the bed, staring at the wall in front of me. "I think you _need_ a boyfriend," she added. I chuckled and turned my head to look at her.

"I don't need anybody," I stated. She rolled her eyes and ignored me.

"I think you need someone to hold you. To tell you they love you," she said seriously. Any sign of amusement disappeared from my face as I stared at her, confused. Why so serious all of a sudden? "To tell you you're beautiful," she added.

"I don't need any of that," I managed to say.

"Everybody needs that," she answered. Her eyes were pleading for me to understand what she was trying to say, sadness taking over the joy they usually had in them, as she stared at me, almost with pity. I sighed and looked back at the wall, refusing to let her pity me. "How long have you been single?" She asked. I shrugged and she sighed.

"Two years or so," I finally answered. Emily's eyes widened.

"Two years! Wow. That's... a lot," she said, shocked.

"Not really. Having a boyfriend is not a necessity," I defended.

"I know, a boyfriend isn't, but just, having someone..." she started.

"Wait a minute, did Joe send you to tell me this?" I said quickly, now realising where she was going.

"No! No, he didn't," she said a little too quickly. I raised an eyebrow, stating I really didn't believe her. "I swear! He didn't _ask_ me to tell you this..."

"He _forced_ you?" I specified sarcastically.

"No." Emily held her position as I raised an eyebrow again. "Ok, fine, he did, but not just him!" she defended. I rolled my eyes and chuckled.

"Yeah, who else?" I asked.

"Some guys..." she hesitated. I rolled my eyes again, stating that this was not the time to play.

"_Some guys_? You mean Tommy's friends?" I suggested, already knowing the answer to my question.

"They're your friends too now," she said quietly. I sighed and rolled my eyes again. "And they like you," she continued.

"What do you mean: they like me?" I asked, confused.

"Well, you know, they like you," she lamely explained. I decided to drop it and ask something else.

"Why would they ask you to tell me they like me? Aren't they a little old for that?" I said, half serious.

"Well, they didn't really ask me to tell you they like you," she corrected. "They wanted me to get you to admit that having a boyfriend, or at least a guy to spend time with, was a good thing. That wanted you to say that you'd be willing to try."

"So that if one of them makes a move, I say: let's try it, and end up sleeping with him?" I finished for her. She hesitated.

"Well, that's not exactly how they said it, but yeah, kind of," she admitted.

"What a bunch of stupid perverts," I mumbled under my breath, though Emily clearly heard me. "And you accepted to do that for them?" I realized, turning to her with an accusing look.

"Well, I wouldn't have if I disagreed...But I don't. I think they're right, you need to open up a bit," she explained.

"You mean open my legs," I corrected, irritated.

"No! But, Sarah, I think the company of someone would do you a lot of good. I wasn't lying when I said you needed someone," she defended.

"I don't need anyone!" I repeated again, getting annoyed. Emily sighed in frustration and didn't speak for a moment, annoyed herself that I was so stubborn. I mean, why would I even consider doing anything with those punks? And why would they want me to do anything? They could have sex with any girl they wanted, why would they waste their time trying to convince me to end up in their bed too? "Who was it?" I finally demanded to know. Emily turned to me and hesitated, not sure if she should tell me. "Tell me."

"Fine," she sighed, "there was Joe, of course." I rolled my eyes at the first name. "Bodie was there, too." I shook my head in disbelief. "Tommy, but he didn't say anything, he was just there. This one's mine," she continued with a hard look. I chuckled and she smirked before she continued. "There was Heco and Baggy."

She paused for a moment, diverting her eyes from me. "And... Billy."

"Billy? Billy as in Billy Darley?" She nodded. "Did he say anything?" I asked a little too quickly.

"Not really. He seemed to agree, but he didn't add anything," she answered before raising an eyebrow. "Why?" I hesitated a second.

"Well, the guy hates me," I explained. Emily rolled her eyes.

"No he doesn't. He looks at you a lot," she defended.

"Yeah, trying to find the best way to kill me!" I exclaimed. She laughed, though there was really nothing funny about this.

"Or trying to find the best way to fuck you," she said with amusement.

"I'll take the first option," I said. Emily laughed.

"Come on, you gotta admit the guy is hot!" she cried.

"What? He's bald! And don't you have a boyfriend?" I asked. She rolled her eyes.

"That doesn't mean I can't say some guys are hot. And this one, honey, he's on FIRE!" she joked. I laughed and shook my head.

"He's not my type," I finally said.

"Ah, stop saying that. Seriously, you guys would go well together." I raised an eyebrow. What the hell? Like Billy and I could date. That girl was crazy. "I'm not kidding; you guys are exactly the same!"

"Whoa, I am nothing like him!" I defended.

"Oh yeah? You're stubborn, bi-polar, mysterious, weird, both with a secret past that no one really knows about, problem with parents, and the both of you don't answer to half the questions you're being asked. And you barely talk. That's a lot."

"That's bullshit," I corrected, but she ignored me.

"I think the only reason you guys always fight is that you're attracted to each other, but you won't admit it," she announced, proud of herself for finally saying it out loud.

"Stop watching teen movies, it's not good for you."

"You're living in denial," she shook her head, disappointed. Did she really want me to admit I liked Billy? No way.

"Fine by me." She rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to sleep with Billy, Em." She sighed but continued to smile.

"Ok. Don't swear on it though, you never know what could happen," she joked.

"Yeah. Whatever," she laughed and I let myself fall on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

I don't need a boyfriend. Certainly not Billy Darley.

Pff, Billy Darley? Like _that_'s going to happen.

**There you go!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**And thanks to Mignun, she's just too amazing.**

**Feel free to review =)**


	7. Pretty Cupcake

**Hey there!**

**It's been a while, I know =/ I was busy, I guess.**

**Anyways, this is chapter 7 =)**

**Hope you all like it!**

It looked... nice?

Not it didn't. It looked horrible, _I_ looked horrible. It was ... not like me. It was everything but me.

I didn't wear dresses. Hell, I didn't even wear skirts. I don't know why, but I always had this problem with having a hole in your clothes, a hole... at the wrong place. I just thought it was stupid, even useless. 'It's more feminine', people would say. I didn't need a hole between my legs to be feminine. I wasn't a very manly girl, in appearance at least. I did dress a bit like a boy sometimes but there was definitely nothing manly about me. I sat like a boy, sometimes talked like a boy – I have a very low voice, what can I say -, I ate like a boy, I could walk like a boy, but yet, I looked nothing like a boy. I always thought it sucked that I was so naturally feminine – not now, anyway, but when I was a little tomboy kid, I did.

I had worn dresses before, of course. When I was younger and not old enough to dress myself, my mom would have an evil pleasure dressing me up like a little Barbie doll, combing my blond hair for hours so I looked perfect. She always said the only thing that was wrong were my eyes. I had brown eyes with a little green in them, like my dad. She always wished I had blue eyes, like her. Back then, I really saddened me that my eyes weren't blue. I even tried a magic trick when I was twelve – yes, after the tomboy phase, I had the 'harry potter' phase where I pretended to be a witch. I had a lot of phases growing up. Don't get me started on the vampire one... – but, as you can imagine, it never worked. I was really depressed by that time, explaining the gothic phase.

Anyways, whenever I wore a dress, it wasn't really my choice. It always had to be for some kind of event, party, bal, shit like that. You know, the kind of things I hate. Yes, I do hate big events and get together where you're supposed to look nice, be polite and smile the whole damn time to people you never met, or if you did, you remember not liking and you just wish it gets over with the fastest possible, though it doesn't, because you're bored as hell, so it's fucking long. I had been a part of way too many nights like that for a girl my age. I've had enough of it for a life time.

Still here I was, looking at myself in the mirror, horrified at what I was wearing, but most importantly, why I was wearing it. Right then, I wanted to kill somebody. I kept glancing at the lamp on the table next to me as I thought how useful it could be if someone ever decided to come in. I would just have to take it and swing it at their head with all the frustration boiling through my body at that very moment. I thought this time was going to be different. I was an adult, for fuck's sake, I should have a little more freedom! I shouldn't have to be forced to stay here, wearing this shitty looking pink/purple dress that made me look like a perfect little brat. I looked disgusting. I felt like burning it, without even taking it off if that was necessary, and God knew I was a master at burning clothes. The last thing I wanted was to attempt that stupid party. No, it wasn't a party. Parties are supposed to be fun. This was definitely _not_ fun.

"Oh, honey you look lovely!" I lifted my eyes to meet my mother's through the mirror. She was standing by the door, smiling widely with her very chic bright red dress and her curled hair dancing from left to right as she walked happily to me. I still didn't turn around to look at her; I just kept facing the mirror with a very clear frown on my face. I glanced at the lamp once again, but I wasn't fast enough to think the whole idea through before my mother was next to me, staring at my dress through the mirror. Ok, I admit it, maybe I didn't really want to hit my mother with a lamp, but god did I want to it _something_ with it. "Don't you think you look lovely?" she repeated, putting her hands on my shoulders, still smiling. I shrugged them off and frowned even more.

"I look like a cup cake, mom," I stated, finally walking away from the mirror to sit on my bed. She turned slowly but didn't move to sit with me.

"Sarah, this dress cost me a lot of money, it's the latest fashion! It's absolutely stunning and you look great in it," she scolded me, her high pitched voice creaking through my ears as I sighed. I had the biggest headache because I didn't have any sleep the night before, my nose being too busy bleeding. Fucking dry nose. I felt like I was out of blood, being even whiter than I usually was. I didn't even bother answering her and lay down on my back, staring at the ceiling as I waited for her to leave my room. "Now hurry up, the guests will he here any minute." I sighed as a response. I heard her footsteps walking away, and then stopping by my door. "Hurry!" she repeated before she walked away and down the stairs where I couldn't hear her anymore. I sighed for the 100th time of the day before sitting straight on my bed, looking at my reflection in the mirror once again. At least the dress was long. It went down to my knees. It had long sleeves that stopped just before my elbows, and it went up just before the beginning of my neck. It was still ugly, though.

"SARAH!" I heard my mother yelling for me from the living room. "THE GUESTS ARE HERE!" I rolled my eyes as I stood from my bed and started walking towards the stairs.

"I'M COMING!" I screamed back as I jogged down the stairs, looking at my feet as I did so. I was still wearing my converse. It really didn't match with the dress, but there was no way I was going to wear the high heels my mom had bought for me: I would have killed myself before the end of the night. I was clumsy enough in my normal clothes, I couldn't even imagine what would happen in I was walking in those tall uncomfortable and shinny things my mother called shoes. I reached the last step and lift my head just in time to see the dark wall I bumped into, almost falling on my butt in the process, before the wall – that I now knew was a person – held me by my shoulders so I didn't hit my head on the stairs behind me.

"Woah, careful here," a man's voice said. He laughed as I lifted my face to meet his eyes. He was smiling at me; his hands still placed on my shoulders as he raised an eyebrow and lowered his head to look at me. "You okay?" I blinked twice, still staring at him. He was very handsome. Like, _really_ handsome. He had those very soft big brown eyes that I got lost in for a minute, before I finally nodded at his question. He laughed again and backed away, letting me go in the process. He eyed me up and down with a grin, and this time, I really hoped I didn't blush.

Ok, the guy was fine. He was hot, painfully hot. But it was just a guy. And he was kind of laughing at me right now. He couldn't have been much older than me, I would have given him twenty, twenty one at the most. He was tall, a couple centimetres taller than me, and had short messy dark brown hair that matched his eyes. He was wearing a dark blue shirt with chic jeans and shoes. It was casual, but dressed at the same time. I eyed him a little more before I went back to his face. It was just a guy, no need to go crazy about it. I hate guys anyway, don't I?

"I'm David," he finally said, moving his hand towards me for me to shake it. I took it and he shook it for the both of us, still grinning. I forced a small smile before I turned my head to the left, where the living room was. My parents were having a rather loud conversation with two couples around their age, all dressing almost exactly like them. It was scary. "What's your name?" I turned my head to David who was still staring at me.

"You're someone's son?" I asked, not answering his question. David raised an eyebrow and turned his head to the adults as I pointed towards them.

"Yeah. I'm Karen and Richard's son." I nodded and looked by the window. The sun was setting outside and I could see the trees dancing with the wind. I really needed to get out of here. "You're Sarah, right?" David continued.

"Yup. Why are you asking if you already know the answer?" I looked back at him as he raised an eyebrow again, not sure if he should answer my question. I rolled my eyes and walked around him towards my mother. The guy was hot, but I've seen it before. I had met a hundred of guys like him in those kinds of parties. I knew how he was and there was really no point in wasting my time talking to him. I stood next to my mother as she was still talking to a woman in front of her. "Mom?" She ignored me as I waited patiently next to her. "Mom?" I repeated louder. She finally turned to me.

"What now?" she asked me, irritated.

"Can I go?" My mother rolled her eyes. I didn't see what the big deal was. She said I should be here so her guests see me, and 'see how of a well raised child I was' and everything. I was there, I was even wearing the god damn dress, and I didn't see why I should have stayed there any longer.

"We didn't even eat yet," she answered.

"I'll buy something," I answered right back. She gave me a hard look and I held her stare, daring her to say something with her 'friends' right next to her. She sighed.

"Fine. Go." I smiled widely and started walking away but she stopped me by taking my arm and spinning me around. "But take David with you. He's a handsome young man, don't you think?" It was my turn to give her a hard look as I released myself from her grip. Where was she going with this? If her and her rich ass friends were thinking of matching David and I together, they were to be disappointed because there was no way in hell I was going to go out with that prick. There was no way in hell I was going to go out with anyone, but with him, there was even less of a chance.

"Whatever." I turned away from her and walked back towards David who was still standing by the stairs. "Come on," I ordered him before opening the front door and stepping outside, feeling already a thousand times better. The air hit my face, flowing through my hair as I took as step forward and started walking. Oh yeah, I forgot about that. The whole car thing, it didn't work. My father didn't believe me a second and he now knew my car had been stolen, along with my keys. He was pretty pissed, but there wasn't much he could do, it wasn't really my fault, after all. Still, now I had no car. And no money to buy another one.

"Let's take my car," David proposed like he heard what I just thought. I stopped walking and turned to him.

"No," I simply answered as I started walking again. I heard David sigh behind me and I smiled as he fallowed me down the street. I didn't go far though, I was still in front of my house god damn it, and before I knew it, a car was speeding in the street and stopping violently next to me. It wasn't any car. It was Billy Darley's car. _Fuck_. The passenger door opened and a very smiling Joe came out. He closed the door behind him and walked towards me. I wasn't quite sure if I should be happy, scared excited or. Happy because my friend Joe had come to rescue me, scared because David was here and I wasn't sure if I wanted him to go and talk to his parents about my friends – that my parents didn't know about, of course - or excited because Joe was with his brother, and his brother was the definition of excitement.

"Hey!" Joe said cheerfully as he stood next to me. I couldn't help but smile and shake my head. Damn Joe with his contagious smile.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" I asked. I didn't want to be rude but I was widely aware of David's presence behind me and I really didn't want them to start talking together.

"Who's your friend?" Joe asked instead of answering my question.

"David, Joe. Joe, David," I introduced them. Joe frowned and eyed David up and down, trying to seem intimidating. Surprisingly, it was working and David stepped back a bit.

"What are you doing here?" I asked again. Joe looked down at me and shrugged.

"Came to see if you wanted to go out," he answered. His eyebrows narrowed as he stepped back to look at me. "Well you look nice!" he said, like he had just realised I was wearing a dress. Like it wasn't obvious.

"No, I really don't." I rolled my eyes and glanced at David who was still standing next to me, a horrified look on his face. Ok, Joe wasn't that scary. At least, I thought so.

"I like you in a dress," Joe continued. "You look all girly and shit." I sighed as he laughed softly at me.

"Why didn't you just call me?" Joe looked back at my face as I took the conversation back where it had originally started.

"'Cause you don't answer your phone." I raised an eyebrow and reached for my pocket and I realised I didn't have a pocket because I was wearing a dress. My phone most has still been in my jeans, scattered in some corner of my bedroom. Oops.

"So you decided to just show up at my house?" Joe shrugged again and smirked.

"I'm glad I did 'cause I got to see you wearing this," He said and he chuckled and I rolled my eyes again. I opened my mouth to answer but I was cut by the sound of a door opening and I looked passed Joe to see no other than Billy Darley coming out of his car and turning around to look at us. He gave us a hard stare and raised his arms perpendicular to his body.

"What's takin' so long?" he asked in an exasperated tone. His arms fell back down as he waited for someone to answer him.

"Holy shit." I turned my head to see David staring at Billy with an even more horrified look on his face. I couldn't help but let out a small laugh as I turned back to Billy.

"Sorry, Billy. We're just talkin'," Joe answered.

"Well quit dickin' around and let's go!" he answered right back. I laughed and Billy met my eyes for the first time. I don't know what it was with him that got me so... different. Sure, I was naturally a little bitchy. I was rude most of the time and I enjoyed laughing at people sometimes but with Billy it was worse. I loved to see him pissed. I don't know why it excited me so much to see him angry – and don't get me wrong, I don't mean this in any sexual way. I'm not like those sluts that like bad ass man because they can fuck, I'm really not. I just felt so much energy through my body when I saw him staring at me with murderous eyes and still he didn't do anything. He was the most dangerous man I have ever met, maybe the most dangerous man in this town, and yet I was pissing him and I was still alive. I just thought it was awesome. _He_ was awesome. In a very, very bad way, but awesome nonetheless. His life was so exciting, and he was... interesting. Intriguing. There was just something that made me want to get close, while another part of me was telling me to run. I hadn't felt so alive in... never. Crazy, isn't it? Billy Darley makes me feel alive, because he's a walking death sentence.

"What you laughing about?" he asked me in a harsh tone.

"You," I answered. He raised an eyebrow and I laughed again.

"Guess I missed the joke," He said.

"I guess."

We were silent for a moment where Billy was still staring at me with a mix of exasperation and anger. And maybe a bit of amusement, but I wasn't sure. He opened his mouth to continue but another sound of door stopped us and I turned my head in horror to see my mother getting out of the house. She raised an eyebrow when she saw me and David still standing there but her face went from wonder to shock when she saw Joe next to me, and most importantly, Billy next to his car. I sighed and frowned, excepting this to turn out really bad.

"Sarah, who are these people?" she asked me, in English, probably for David to understand, a worried but yet terrified look on her face.

"No one, mom. Don't worry about it," I answered. I waved her to get back in the house but she stayed there, definitely not willing to leave it alone. I rolled my eyes and turned to Joe who was looking at me with a hurt expression.

"No one, huh? What, you ashamed of me?" he said. I hadn't expected him to react this way, but now that I thought about it, it did seem like I was ashamed of him. But really, I wasn't. I just didn't want my mom to know about it because I knew she would freak out and wouldn't stop talking about it.

"No, no, not at all. I'm just..."

"You don't want mommy to know you hang out with little punks, yeah?" My face hardened as I held his stare. How could he say that of me? He knew very well I didn't give a shit what my mom thought about me, what anybody thought about me. He knew I wasn't and never would be like those girls scared of their reputation. How could he insinuate that I was hiding him from my parents? Ok, I was hiding him, but only because it would only make it more complicated, not because it would hurt my image.

"Fuck you, Joe. You clearly don't know me if you think I care what these people think of me." Joe looked away but I could see he felt bad for what he had said. I looked back at my mother, but she wasn't alone anymore. My dad was outside too, along with, well, everybody else that was in my house. I rolled my eyes and my mother took at step towards me, though she was still pretty far from us.

"Honey, do you know them?" she asked me, in French this time. I hesitated a second before I finally decided to talk.

"Yes, mom. I know them." Her eyes widened in shock and she turned her head to my father.

"Are they your friends?" he asked. I sighed. Everyone was looking at me and I didn't like to have some much attention.

"Yes," I simply answered. My parents looked at each other again. Before they could ask anything else, I spoke.

"I'm going out. Don't wait for me." With that, I looked at Billy with some kind of a pleading look on my face. I had spoken in French but he seemed to understand and he nodded in comprehension before getting in his car and starting the ignition. Did the guy just listen to me? Did he do what I silently asked him to do?

He did.

Oh my god.

I shook my head to regain concentration and found my legs to start walking to the car, followed by Joe. I could hear my mom's protestations but I didn't listen and opened the passenger's door to slide in the back of the car. Joe pushed back the seat to sit next to Billy.

"Thank god you came. I would have been stuck with that David guy," I said. Joe turned around to look at me as Billy eyed me in rear-view mirror.

"No problem. Always a pleasure to rescue you." Joe smiled and I smiled back, happy our little argument from earlier didn't affect anything between us. I smiled to Billy in the mirror but he just looked back at the road. I rolled my eyes as I realised we were speeding down the street.

"I really like you car," I finally said. Billy looked back at me in the mirror as Joe raised an eyebrow.

"I like your dress," Billy answered, in a very raspy low voice. He smirked and I laughed.

"Thanks." He smirked again and I shook my head, smiling, as I looked out the window. No one talked for the rest of the ride but I didn't mind it.

We finally pulled up in front of the Four Roses twenty minutes later.

"Is Em here?" I asked Joe. He got out of the car and held the door for me as he nodded.

"Yup, waitin' for you, as always." I smiled and walked towards the door as Joe shook his head. I had been to the Four Roses almost every week since the very first. Not that the place was really attractive, it really wasn't, but my now new friends were always there. Over the weeks, I had grown closer to Joe and Emily, of course, but to Bodie too. He had soon quitted on the flirt thing and was now treating me like a little sister, or more like a punching bag. He would tease me all the time, only for me to insult him back, but I knew that, as I was walking in the bar in my very girly dress, he would never let go of that one. As I expected it, the second I got next to them, everyone eyed me like I was going crazy and laughed at my clothes.

"Sarah, I knew you liked me but you didn't need to go that far to impress me, darlin'," Bodie said as everybody laughed.

"Ha-ha-ha," I laughed sarcastically and sat next to him. He punched me softly on the shoulder and I slapped him on the arm. "Don't hit me, I'm warning you."

Bodie laughed and pretended like he was scared as I did my best to give him a cold stare, only for the both of us to start laughing.

"Ok, ladies, enough for the pussy talk," Joe said as he sat in front of me.

"Why do you always have to say that word at least once a day?" I asked him, raising my hands in the air.

"Is it disturbing you?" he asked, teasing. "I wouldn't be surprised, with a fine girl like you," he pointed at my dress and I rolled my eyes.

"Ok are you guys just going to keep on teasing me for the rest of the night for this?" I asked, annoyed. Everyone nodded but Billy who shook his head.

"For the rest of your _life_, pretty," he corrected. Everyone laughed as he smirked at me. Why was he calling me pretty? I don't know. Things had been better between him and I. After the night he gave me a ride, he stopped threatening me and I stopped saying bitchy comments. Well, I tried to stop. It was like an unspoken agreement that occurred between us. Maybe we didn't really get along together, but that didn't mean we had to hate each other. It was easier anyway since I was always hanging out with Joe and Emily, and well Joe was his brother and Emily one of his man's girlfriend. And I didn't hate him at all. I was intrigued by him. I wouldn't say I liked him, but his presence was appreciated. I felt like whenever he was there, nothing bad could happen. Which is completely stupid since the guy is a gang lord, but it was like I knew he wouldn't _let_ anything bad happen, maybe not for me, but for the others he cared about. And for that, I felt kind of safe. Kind of. I stared at Billy who was still looking at me as the others had wandered in different conversations.

"Well I guess there's only one thing left to do," I answered with a fatal expression on my face.

"And what's that?" Billy said, a cigarette hanging from his lips.

"End my life, of course," I answered like it was absolutely obvious. He chuckle as he breathed out the smoke. "What, you think it's funny I'm going to die?" I asked him, half serious. He took his cigarette between his fingers and leaned closer on the table, facing me.

"No, I just think you don't got the guts to do it." I laughed, amused and a little insulted, but I didn't let it show.

"I think you don't know what you're talking about." He studied me, his eyebrow narrowing in a thin line above his eyes.

"What's that suppose to mean?" I didn't respond as I kept looking at him. I smirked, though really I wasn't amused at all. I had said too much. Fucking ego always makes you say shit you don't want to say. He shook his head, asking me to go on, but I didn't.

"Want a beer?" He raised an eyebrow and sighed, seeing I didn't want to keep talking about that. He turned to his right, trying to see through the crowd if the waitress was ever going to come up to us, but there was no sign of her, so he nodded and I stood up.

I walked towards the bar where I saw Megan – yes, _that_ Megan – pouring drinks into glasses. She met my eyes and I gave her the biggest smile I could find. Don't get me wrong, I still hated the bitch, and that's why I enjoyed seeing her, because I could be a bitch myself.

"Well hello there, Megan. How are you doing?" I asked, faking enthusiasm as she rolled her eyes.

"Want anything?" she asked, annoyed.

"Aw, don't be like that. Don't you want to talk about that very exciting life of yours?" I sat at the counter at rested my head in my hands, as if I was a child waiting to be read a story. "Tell me aaaall about it." Megan sighed.

"Cut the bullshit, Sarah. What do you want?" I laughed at raised my head, growing serious again.

"Fine, I'll have two beers." She raised an eyebrow. "Please?" She rolled her eyes and turned around to take out two beers. "No wait, I'll take three." She sighed and took another one before handing them to me. "Thank you." I smiled again and she went back to what she was doing before I came to see her. "Hey," I whispered. She didn't look up.

"What?" she said, even more annoyed.

"Billy says 'Hi'." She looked up to me and smiled shyly.

"Really?" She seemed so happy, I felt almost guilty.

"No." Her face fell and I starting laughing and walked away as I heard her cursing under her breath. I was still laughing when I came back to table, but it soon ended. I stopped right on my tracks, not really sure I wanted to go there. You see, everyone was gone, everyone except for Billy and some girl – is it very necessary for me to mention she was very lightly dressed? – who was sitting on his lap, kissing him roughly. I looked around, searching for someone I knew, but everyone seemed to have disappeared, leaving me alone, a couple meters away from Billy and some whore. How nice. The girl backed away from Billy, probably to try to breathe a second, and he smirked at her as he turned his head to see me standing there, weirdly looking at him with three beers in my hands. His smirk faded and he turned back to the girl, motioning her to get off of him. She seemed surprised, then pissed, and walked away when Billy gave her that mean stare of his. He turned back to me and waved his hands towards the chair in front of him. I hesitated a second, then walked slowly to it and sat, putting the beers in front of me as I did so.

"You didn't have to chase her off, you know," I finally said. He chuckled and leaned closer to the table to take his first beer. Yeah, the third one was for him too. I had been there a couple of weeks; I knew everyone's drinking habit now.

"She smelled like some cheap-ass perfume. Couldn't do her," He explained. I laughed in disbelief at his lack of finesse but ignore it, taking my own beer to open it.

"Where's everybody?" I asked. He drank half his beer in one sip and placed it back in front of him.

"Emily left with Tommy. They got into it right here but decided it was better to keep us from seeing the rest," he said, and I snorted. He looked around and then back at me before he continued. "Joe went out with some bitch, I dunno who she was, and the rest of the guys are workin'." I nodded. Now there was only the two of us. Great.

"And what are you going to do, then?"

"You tell me." He smirked and leaned closer to me on the table. I raised an eyebrow and took a sip of my beer. Was he hitting on me? Couldn't be.

"Tell you what?"

"What we're gonna do."

He chuckled as I stared at him in shock. What was he talking about?

"You can do what you want, you're a big boy," I answered coldly. He smirked and got even closer to me.

"Oh I know that. But the question is: what do _you_ want?" I laughed as I rolled my eyes. The guy seemed really amused by this; the most amused I had ever seen him.

"There's a lot of things I want, but not a lot you can give me." His smirked had disappeared and he was studying me again. I hated when he did that. Like he was inspecting me, like he could know anything about me just by looking at me with those eyes.

"You don't know that." I rolled my eyes. And that's when he said it, the phrase that completely ruined everything. All I had been trying to leave behind was right there in my face, and Billy Darley was doing this to me.

"Do you want to die, Sarah?"

My smile fell, as did my face, even my hands feel on my thigh. My heart started beating faster as I stopped breathing for a second, on the verge of panic. Why was he saying this? Because of what I said earlier? Fuck my life.

"'Cause it's the only thing I can come up to. The only thing that explains you." I didn't move, I didn't flinch, I just stayed there, looking at him, horrified. I wanted to scream, to get him to stop talking, but I was like a statue, hard rock unable to move, stuck forever in my chair at the Four Roses. "That's why you were being a bitch to me. You wanted me to kill you, didn't you? You're not scared of me 'cause you're not scared to die. You're not scared to get hurt."

I felt something warm sliding down my cheek. I hadn't realised I was crying. Now I did, because I couldn't see anything. The water in my eyes kept me from seeing Billy's hard stare on me, but I didn't want to blink to let it fall because I hated to cry in front of people. Especially him. I know it seems kind of childish to be crying; even weak, but I couldn't stop myself at that moment. It was like everything I didn't want to happen happened and there's nothing I can do about it.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, Sarah, but I'm not gonna hurt you." I finally blinked, letting the tears slide down my cheeks. There was something in his voice I had never heard before. Like he was really sincere, like he cared. He couldn't care about me, I barely knew him. Though, now it kind of seemed like he knew _me_. I don't know what happened right then but I finally found my legs and I stood up and walked away. I couldn't stay there, not with him talking about me, analysing, caring about me. He couldn't care about me. No one cared about me.

Before I knew it I was outside. I hadn't realised it had gotten so dark. The air was cold and I wrapped my own arms around myself to try and warm me up. I heard the door open behind me and I started walking faster but within a second he was in front of me.

"Leave me alone," I ordered between my teeth. I didn't want to start crying again, but I knew that if I talked, I would.

"No. Get back inside," he ordered right back. I scoffed, feeling the lump in my throat hurting me more as I swallowed back my tears. I tried to walk passed him but he moved to stop me.

"Just, please, leave me alone," I almost screamed through my teeth, tears sliding down my cheeks once again. He sighed deeply and pushed me back as I tried to walk again. "Don't touch me!"

"Stop fucking walking and I'll stop fucking touching you!" He spat harshly. He was pissed, great. I finally stopped and looked at him, annoyed. He took at step closer to me, his face now inches away from mine. "Stop doing this," his voice was soft and I felt another hot tear sliding on my cheek.

"Doing what?" I asked, getting calmer as he didn't seem so angry anymore.

"This! Running away when you don't control what's happening." My eyes squeezed as I looked at him in confusion. What, was he listing every reaction I had to situations now? "The first week you were here, when Emily came talking about you, you had run away. Two weeks ago, at the bar, you did that too. Tonight, at your parents', and now this. What are you so scared of?"

"What is it to you, anyway?" I just didn't understand why he was asking me this. Like he cared what was happening to me!

"If I'm to hang out with you, I don't want you running away every fucking five minutes!" he answered. I rolled my eyes. For a second, I actually thought he gave a shit.

"Then don't hang out with me, genius!" I spat, trying to walk around him again – I felt like I had done that way too many times already – only for him to push me back.

"It's not like it's my decision, smartass!" he answered, getting angry again.

"I thought you decided everything," I said, faking shock as I brought a hand to my heart. "I thought you were the boss. Aren't you?" I asked, half serious. I thought he was going to get pissed, to defend himself and say that he was the boss, that he was in charge, but he just kept looking at me. Analysing me. _Again_.

"So that's how you do it," he was calm again. I raised an eyebrow. Talk about mood-swings. "You constantly change the conversation. That way you never answer questions you don't want to answer, or talk about shit you don't want to talk about, and people never notice." I clenched my teeth and looked away. Here we go again.

"You're some bi-polar freak, you know that?" I said, not really expecting an answer other than an insult or just anger.

"See, you're doing it again! Trying to piss me off so I forget about what we were talking about!" he said, amazed. He looked pretty happy with himself having figured this out. Like he had finally got an answer to a question he had been asking himself for a long time. I sighed and rolled my eyes, refusing to look at him as he smirked at me.

"You're wrong. I don't do that," I simply answered.

"Hell yeah, you do," he simply answered right back. My fists tighten as I was mixed with anger and, well, fear. Yes, for the first time, I was actually scared of Billy Darley. Not because he was a bad guy, not because he could physically hurt me. Because he had caught me. Switching conversations was the only way I had found to keep myself from others, since I suck at lying. Every time I try, I get all red and I start shaking. Pretty much like when I try to speak in front of a lot of people. I couldn't lie to Billy. And I couldn't escape his questions because he knew how I did that now. My only option left why to remain silent. Yeah, try that for a whole conversation.

"Are you done now? Can I go? 'Cause I thought we had been over the 'let's fight in the Four Roses' parking lot and let Billy think he won' thing." I asked. Billy chuckled and took a step towards me, daring me with his intense eyes.

"You're so fucking weird, Sarah," he said, ignoring my question. I raised an eyebrow and held his stare, finding myself a little less confident than I had once been.

"Well you're weird too, Billy," I answered. That's all I could find. Lame, I know.

"So what is it?" he asked, ignoring me again. "What are you scared of?" He grew serious as I connected with his eyes.

"Nothing," I said, or whispered, since I seemed to have a hard time finding my voice. Oh great, I was shaking now.

"Nothing, really? I don't think so. I think you're lying. It's a very bad thing to lie." He looked down at my shaking hands and smirked. He surely knew I was lying now. He looked back at my face, waiting for me to answer, but I kept my mouth shut, knowing it was my best chance not to talk. I really didn't want to talk to him. "Talk to me, pretty."

"Stop calling me pretty," I demanded.

"I thought 'baby' was the problem, not 'pretty'. How do you want me to call you, then?" he asked, amused.

"Don't call me at all. In fact, it would be really cool if you just left me alone," I said, trying to sound as convincing as possible.

"Is that what you want?" He almost seemed disappointed. Almost. I hesitated a second, then nodded. "Why do you keep on lying to me, pretty?" he asked.

"I'm not."

"Yes you are." I rolled my eyes and sighed. I don't know what he wanted from me, but he sure wouldn't get it. "I know you were trying to get to me. Why?" he asked. I didn't answer and kept looking at him. Surprisingly, he didn't lose patience and continued to talk. "You wanted me to kill you? That's the thing? Sarah the mysterious new girl is suicidal and she wants Billy Darley to do what she hasn't got the guts to do, yeah?" My eyes filled with tears as I looked at him with anger, refusing to speak at word. "'Cause that's all I do, isn't it? I kill people. I ruined their lives. I make them pay for mistakes that weren't supposed to happen. I make them suffer for actions they weren't even meant to do. I put a bullet in their skull because they were at the wrong place at the wrong time and I don't give a shit about it!" He screamed. I nearly jumped; shocked that he had spoken so angrily out of a sudden. He had said those words with so much hate, like he accused me for thinking that of him as he hated himself for being even half of what he said he was. "So? Don't you want me to kill you or not?" he asked, not screaming anymore, but really loudly anyway.

"Are you like that, really?" I admit it, I was scared now. Billy shrugged and looked away, now being the one not to want to talk about him. "I told you you'd want to kill me," I finally said. Billy raised an eyebrow, and then seemed to remember our conversation we had back in the alley where I told him if ever he wanted to kill me, he could do it then, it would have been done. But he hadn't and now he was probably regretting it.

"I don't –" he started, cutting himself to sigh. "Holy fuck, Sarah, I don't want to kill you!"

I raised an eyebrow. Clearly, there was something I couldn't understand about that guy. There was obviously some things he couldn't understand about me either, but that's just normal for a guy not to understand a girl, right? Anyways, he seemed pretty annoyed that I thought he wanted to kill me all the time, but hey, the guy looks like he wants to kill me every time I say something! There only so much I can take, man.

"I'm asking you this for the last time and you better fucking tell me the truth right now." He started. "Do-you-want-to-die?"

"Why do you think I want to die?" I finally asked. I didn't give him a chance to answer and continued to talk. "Why would you think I came to you because I wanted you to kill me? Couldn't it just be 'cause I like you?"

Billy stopped himself as he was starting to answer me and widened his eyes in shock. He obviously couldn't believe what I had just said. Hell, _I_ couldn't believe I just said that. I'm such an idiot. Why would I like him?

The guy isn't even nice. But I don't especially like nice guys...

Well, he has way too many tattoos. But I like tattoos...

He's bald. But he looks sexy anyway...

He's scary? But I'm not scared of him...

He's a drug dealer! True. I've seen it before, though.

Oh great, I'm out of arguments now.

Well, I liked Billy Darley.

Wait, I can't like him. I don't want guys, they disgust me. And he was making out with some girl earlier, that asshole. I couldn't like him. But I did. Fuck my life.

"You do?" he asked, taking me out of my war with myself.

"It was just an example," I lied, my face turning red by the minute. Billy smirked. Of course he didn't believe me.

"I didn't think I was your type," he said, amused.

"You're not," I answered. He chuckle and leaned closer to me, smiling. God, he was really smiling. That was a first. His face got closer and closer and, somehow, I couldn't find to strength to push him back. Or I didn't _want_ to push him back. He placed a hand on my hip and pulled me to him without even having to force it.

And that's when Billy Darley kissed me.

**This is mean, I know. But it wouldn't as fun if it wasn't haha.**

**Please review =D**


	8. No Means Yes

**HI!**

**Chapter 8! This is getting long, oh yeah =)**

**So I'll probably be updating more regularly now that school started (this doesn't make any sense) because I'm on my computer more so I right more often. (Makes more sense?) Anyways…**

**Filler chapter I guess, **_**or not**_**… Chapter 9 and 10 have lots of important stuff, so I guess this is just preparation.**

**I hope you like it and don't forget to review!**

**NOTE : THE NAME OF THE STORY SHOULD CHANGE BY THE NEXT CHAPTER, BE SURE TO REMEMBER THAT IF YOU WANT TO FIND IT.**

At first, I didn't realise what was happening. I mean, yes, I was aware that Billy was kissing me, but I didn't realise what it meant. Billy Darley was kissing me. Not roughly, not passionately, not angrily. It was just a kiss. A very, very sweet kiss. Wait, sweet? Could this word even be used to describe Billy? I would have never thought so. Yet, I had to come to the conclusion that it was: it was sweet. Soft and ... _sweet_. Oh lord, I'm going out of my mind.

Another thing that I didn't realise at first was that I was kissing him back. Why? I have no idea, but I was doing it like it was my very first kiss. Not that I sucked, no I was fine (I hope…) it's just that I had butterflies in my stomach. My legs were shaking and it was like an explosion of shivers ran ever part of my body. All that because of him. I can't believe I'm actually saying this.

I didn't want this to happen. Hell, I didn't even want to like Billy at all. I didn't need it. Because it was true, I did want Billy to kill me. At first, at least… but now, I didn't even know what I want. And he was kissing me, holding me like I had always wanted to be held, but there was a part of me that didn't want this. And as small as that part might be, it forced me to push him away.

"What the hell was that?" I managed to say, panting as I breathed for the first time in at least three minutes. I know it's impossible, but you know what I mean.

Billy didn't answer, and his face went from surprise to anger when he realised I had pushed him back, and that I obviously regretted what I just did. I took a step back myself, knowing that a pissed Billy wasn't something you want to be close to. His fists were thigh and he kept staring at me with a murderous look, as always. Weird how you can want to be so close to someone one second, and the other you wished you were anywhere else but near that person.

"I'm sorry Billy, but I can't do this," I said in a soft voice, almost impossible to hear if he wasn't standing this close to me. My eyes went down his chest, unable to keep looking at his cold ones. I felt him breathing on the top of my head, then sigh. I knew he was hesitating, mixed between anger and something else. Hurt, maybe? Could I have hurt him by refusing to go that way with him? I didn't think we were close enough to hurt each other. Still, _I_ was hurting right then. Hurting myself by refusing this… On the other end, he is Billy Darley. He fucks a different girl every night (as I heard) so much that he can't even remember all their names. Why would I be different? He would remember my name, but I don't think he would care more. I was just a girl to him. One of _those_ girls... I don't know if telling myself this made it better or not, because I didn't know if I wanted to want this or not. Still, between all this, I was hurt.

"Why?" he finally asked, in a very low voice, almost a whisper. I looked back at him and he wasn't angry anymore. He was just emotionless. The face he did when he couldn't be bothered with anything. When he closed himself to the world and became cold Billy Darley, professional drug dealer.

"Because," I started, before clearing my throat, trying to find my voice. "Because I can't. What you want from me, I ... I can't give it to you," I finally said. Billy raised an eyebrow, now analysing me again. He seemed to want to ask me so many questions, but couldn't find to words to say it.

"What's that suppose to mean?" he asked.

"Well... you know," I started, thinking I had been pretty clear. He raised an eyebrow again, shaking his head as he made it known that no, he didn't know what I was talking about. "I mean, you're... _you_. What you get from girls isn't something I'm willing to give," I explained. Billy stared at me a second, then it seem to hit him. Multiple emotions passed on his face: comprehension, disappointment, anger, then, finally, amusement.

"You're such a kid, Sarah. You don't want to fuck, that what you're saying?" he asked, almost laughing as I rolled my eyes. I had no real problem to say the word 'fuck', or to talk about sex, but it just made me uncomfortable to talk about it with Billy, especially if we were the subjects of the conversation. I just thought it was too weird.

"Yeah, that's what I'm saying," I admitted, half ashamed. Billy smirked.

"Fine. We won't fuck," he simply said, growing serious again. It was my turn to raise an eyebrow, not really sure I had heard him right. I didn't think he would react this way. Most guys, especially machos like Billy, were really pissed when you told them they weren't going to get laid as they thought they would when you accepted to make out. He was pissed at first; I hadn't forgotten the murderous look he had given me less than two minutes ago. Yet now he was acting like it was no big deal. That's what I thought: one of _those_ girls.

"What, you thought I was gonna rape you?" he joked, though it really wasn't funny. I rolled my eyes and looked away, now being the one disappointed. "What's wrong now?" he asked, seeing the look on my face.

"Nothing," I shrugged, still looking away, acting like a child, I know. Billy must have thought that too because he sighed and turned my head so I could look at him.

"What?" he asked again, now almost angry. Or annoyed, I couldn't tell.

"Nothing! Everything's fine. Go back inside; find some other girl who wants to fuck," I said before I could think. Billy grew angry in a second, dropping the hand that was holding my face to put it on his hip, followed by the other.

"Don't pull this shit on me, Sarah. You said you didn't want this, deal with it," he scolded me. I rolled my eyes, feeling like this conversation looked just like when my father was angry at me. Though, I have to admit Billy was much scarier than him.

Billy's response confirmed what I thought: he _was_ planning to go back inside and find some other girl to be with. Great, just great.

"I'm fine with it, really," I lied, acting like I didn't care. "I don't want this. At all," I spoke. I was really surprised of how convincing I sounded. Billy nodded, but I could see that's not what he wanted me to say. I could tell he wished I said I wanted him. Not going to happen, asshole.

"Fine," he spat angrily.

"Fine," I repeated. He didn't move though. He kept staring at me, half expecting me to say something. But I remained silent and he grew impatient.

"Well?" he said. I almost laughed at his expression, knowing all this really didn't turn out like he wanted. But another part of me was still hurt by this situation. I wanted him. But I didn't want to want him. And I didn't know if he wanted me the way I wanted him, even though I didn't want to want it. _Some situations really suck._

"Well what? Go," I said against my will. Sometimes I wish I could just punch myself.

"And leave you alone here? I don't think so," he replied. Half of me sighed, the other half jumped of joy, all that in my head of course. My face betrayed no expression, and I looked around. It was dark. To tell you the truth, the idea of being alone in this place really didn't seem like a wise choice, so I silently agreed with him.

"Then drive me somewhere," I suggested without thinking, expecting him to laugh at me. However, instead of doing that, he just raised an eyebrow like he hadn't hear me right.

"What?" he asked, confused.

"Just... drive. Can you? I don't want to go home and I'm tired of being here," I explained. Billy sighed, but then shrugged and nodded, heading towards his car. I smirked and followed him. I was surprised he accepted my suggestion that fast, letting go of his plans of getting laid, and just doing as I say. This man was full of surprises.

"Where d'you wanna go?" he finally asked me when I closed my door, the both of us now sitting in his car.

"Anywhere," I answered vaguely. He sighed, my destination being a little less clear than he had expected. I laughed softly and closed my eyes, letting him take us wherever, not bothered about anything out of a sudden. It was my first real moment of relaxation since the day started. I had been to work, then directly at home to be bossed by my mother for hours before the stupid party. Then I had left with Joe and Billy, barely spent fifteen minutes at the bar before Billy ruined everything, then kissed me (I still couldn't understand that part), and finally I was here, almost sleeping, as I felt the engine under me and heard the city passing by me without feeling anything.

[…]

Good god, that girl drives me crazy. She's so fucked up; it almost scares me, though I can see the little girl inside her at the same time, which doesn't make her scary at all. There's something about her that I can't understand and it makes me fucking nuts. She was sleeping next to me as I was driving; heading nowhere as it seems there was nowhere she really wanted to go. We had been driving for less than two minutes when she passed out. She was quiet now - thank god - and her face, that always betrayed her every thought, was peaceful and relaxed for once. I kept glancing at her as I remained focused on the road, not being able to forget her presence even if I couldn't hear her. There was no way I could forget she was there. I hate to say this but I had been thinking about her a lot since I met her. I kept wondering, asking myself questions I knew I couldn't get the answer to. Who was she? Why was she here? What did she want from me? Why did I like her?

'Cause I do. I kinda like that chick for some reason. I don't know if it's her stubborn attitude, or the way she gets respected by the guys without me having anything to do about it, or maybe just the fact that's she's attractive, too attractive. Not slutty attractive, like those girls I get without having to lift a finger, no, she's beautiful. Painfully beautiful, cause I can't touch her. I can, and I did tonight, but what I knew would happen happened. She pushed me away, she doesn't want me. Fucking women.

Fucking Sarah. Yeah, like hell she only came to me because she likes me. I bet she doesn't even like me at all. She's just using me for whatever she wants. Die. Why would she want to die? I just couldn't understand why I girl like her: pretty, intelligent, funny, with parents that could give her any shit she asks for, a perfect life, why would she want to die? It's stupid. She doesn't know what a hard life is, that's for sure. She didn't grow up in a shitty place like me. She didn't have a bully of a father to force her into drug dealing as a teenager. She didn't have half of the shit I had to deal with in her life and yet she was ready to give it all up. What for? I don't know. But I'm gonna find out. I'm not gonna let her do this: I'm not gonna let her die. There's no fucking way this girl is gonna die on my watch.

She was so close right now, at arm reach. I could do whatever I wanted to her. She was in my car, sleeping, without any defence, at _my_ mercy. But there's nothing I could do, and that made me fucking crazy. I gripped the steering wheel firmly, trying to only look at the road as I thought of a place to go. There was really no place to go, and I should find her a place to sleep. I couldn't bring myself to wake her up. I'm such a fucking pussy, seriously.

I could have brought her to Emily's place, but I remembered Tommy saying that they were going there, and I didn't feel like interrupting them in the middle of a fuck to ask them if Sarah could spend the night. I could have brought her to her own house, but I felt like it was the last place she wanted to be at, and I just couldn't picture myself with Sarah in my arms, telling her mom she had fell asleep in my car. I had a feeling she wasn't gonna appreciate the service. So that left me with bringing her to my place, which wasn't really a good idea if you think about it, but it was my best option.

I pulled up in the parking of the apartment building, taking the place I usually took. I didn't see Joe's car so I guessed he had gone to the girl's place. Sighing, I got out of the car, closing the door behind me, and walked around it to reach the passenger's side. Sarah almost fell off the seat when I opened the door, but I caught her quickly and held her in my arms as I closed the door with my foot. I stared at her for a second; half wishing she would wake up so I could see her looking at me. I liked how she would look at me, like she was analysing everything I did, like she was really interested by me. No one had ever looked at me like that. _Someone shut me up._

I walked normally towards the entrance, Sarah's weight being even smaller than I had even expected. Opening doors when you have no available hands is a tricky business, but I managed to do it pretty good and I was soon enough inside my apartment.

"What the hell are you doing?" I heard a soft voice speak beneath me. I lowered my head to see her looking around, wondering where she was.

"Carryin' you is what I'm doin'," I simply explained, heading straight towards my room and put on her on my head, as she looked at me strangely. "What?"

"Nothing," she shrugged, a small smile crossing her lips. "This is kind of nice," she added, and I didn't find anything to answer to this, which only made her smile more. "Where are you sleeping?"

"Couch," I spoke, shrugging my shoulders.

It wasn't my kind of thing to give up my bed for someone, but I knew Joe would shit his pants if he came home to find Sarah on the couch, and if letting her sleep in my room could spare me his whinning, I was gonna let her be there. The couch isn't that bad anyway.

She nodded and proceeded in taking off her shoes before bringing the covers on herself. "Goodnight, Billy," she whispered and I sighed, trying to stop myself but I had to try, one last time. It had been a while since I actually wanted a girl, and I wasn't gonna have 'no' for an answer. I bent forward, until our faces were only a couple of inches away from each other. I could tell she wasn't excepting me to do this but I also didn't fail to notice how she hesitated to cross the remaining space between us to reach my lips. As I started doing it myself, she spoke. "Don't," she stopped me, her words saying no but her face saying yes. _I don't fucking get it with this girl, the hell's her problem?_ I stopped on my tracks, feeling the anger rise in my whole body before I stood up again, staring down at her as her sad eyes closed and she turned away from me, and refusing to look at me. I finally sighed and walked out of the room and towards the couch.

[…]

The sound of voices woke me up. I tried opening my eyes but I could feel the light of the sun shining on me through the window and I couldn't bring myself to face it. Instead, I hid myself under the blankets, waiting to wake up a little more before I could get out of my bed.

_Wait._

This was not my bed. My bed was a one place. This was too big to be a one place. And these sheets weren't mine, and they didn't smell like me. They smelled like cigarettes and cologne... and sex. _Great._ This bed smelled like Billy. Why was I in Billy's bed? Oh god.

I quickly uncovered myself, making sure I had clothes on. Good. You never know, the moment when I pushed Billy away could have been only a dream and in reality, I didn't stop myself and we slept together. But I had clothes, so I guessed I did push him away. But still, why was I here?

Then I remembered. I had been in Billy's car and then... it was all a blur. I remembered him bringing me to the bed. I remembered his face being really close from mine and then, nothing. Good nights sleep in Billy's bed, of course. I finally stood up, searching for my shoes that I quickly found at the bottom of the bed. As I put them on, I looked around the room. The walls were all white, and nothing except the clothes scattered in different corners could tell that someone was living here. There was a bed, a closet, a dresser with a mirror and that's it. No pictures, no posters, no nothing. Boring. Exactly like _my_ bedroom. I checked myself in the mirror, realising I was still wearing that ugly pink dress. I hate to say this but I couldn't wait to get home, because that meant I could take it off. I finished putting my shoes on and without further investigations, I got out of the room, following the voices to guide me. I ended up in a short corridor, and I turned left where I entered the kitchen. Still seeing no one, I walked around the counter into another room where I finally met the voices. In the living room were Billy, Joe and Bodie, who all turned to look at me when I came in.

"Sarah?" Joe and Bodie spoke with the same voice, both shocked to see me there.

"Hey guys," I answered with a soft smile. They both turned to Billy, accusing him with a hard stare.

"Calm the fuck down, I didn't do nothin'," Billy defended. Both guys didn't seem reassured and Joe turned to me as Bodie kept staring at Billy.

"What the fuck you doin' here?" Joe asked in a voice that was meant to be friendly, but sounded more like 'Why the fuck are you in my house if I'm not here? Did you sleep with my brother? Please tell me you didn't!' all that hidden in a simple little question.

"Well, you guys left me at the bar last night," I started; making sure Joe knew I was blaming him for leaving me alone. I could tell it was working because Joe's eyes left mine for a second, clearly ashamed of what he had done. "So I stayed with Billy," I continued. There was a lot of things I didn't want to mention and I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to make up a lie right there.

"She felt sick so I brought her here 'cause she didn't want t'go home," Billy lied for me. I looked at him in surprise then smile shyly at him. He nodded as an answer and I looked back at Joe.

"Oh," he simply said, half satisfied.

"But I'm fine now," I assured him, trying to seem convincing. "So, I think I'm gonna go home," I concluded. Joe and Bodie kept staring at me sceptically as I did my best to smile.

"I'll drive ya," Bodie proposed. I hesitated, then nodded and followed him out the door. Billy closed the door behind me and I could clearly hear Joe shout: "What the fuck?" at his brother as we were walking, but I couldn't understand what Billy answered back because we were too far when he did. We headed towards a car that looked strangely like Billy's, except that it was red with black tribal sighs on it, when Billy's car was black with red tribal signs on it. They matched, _how cute_.

I got in the passenger's side, as always, and waited for Bodie to sit in the driver's seat. He quickly turned on the engine after he did, and we were soon on the road, heading towards my house.

"So, you and Billy, huh?" I turned to Bodie, not sure what to respond to this. "You and Joe, you and Billy," he continued. I blinked twice, uncertain if I was hearing him right. Was he insinuating that I was playing between Joe and Billy? I never saw it that way. Now that he was mentioning it, I was starting to have doubts. I mean, there was nothing between me and Joe, but what if he thought we did? … And I kissed his brother the night before… Nice job, Sarah, really.

"So is it Joe or Billy?" he asked again. I scoffed in disbelief and stared back at the road, then back to him, now seconds away of being angry.

"It's no one," I answered coldly.

"Well you better tell 'em that before they fight for ya, don't you think?" he spat harshly, being angry himself.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I asked, irritated.

"I'm talking 'bout you, Sarah! You and Joe and Billy," he spoke loudly.

"What about us?" I asked, getting more annoyed by the second.

"What about you? Fuck's sakes, Sarah, open your god damn eyes!" he almost shouted. I jumped back a bit; surprised that he had spoken so loudly out of sudden, though I knew that it was going to happen. "Joe _likes_ you," he explained.

"Joe doesn't like me," I replied.

"Hell yeah, he does," Bodie replied back.

"No, he doesn't. He thinks he does, but he doesn't," I continued, trying to convince myself. I couldn't believe Bodie was doing this, blaming me for whatever feeling his friend might have for me. Like I asked for it! "Who told you that he liked me anyway?" I asked him.

"Joe," he simply answered. _Oh well_. "Who told you he didn't like you?" he asked back.

"... No one. I just figured," I answered lamely. Bodie chuckled.

"I think my source is better than yours," he mocked me. I grimace and he chuckled again, before growing serious in a second. "He _really_ likes you, ya know," he repeated. I sighed and placed my head in my hands, resisting the urge of screaming in desperation. "Don't you like him too?" he asked. I dropped my hands and turned to him with sad eyes before shaking my head. "Oh," he spoke in comprehension. "Poor kid," he mumbled softly.

"I mean, I like him!" I defended. Bodie turned to me with a raised eyebrow. "But not that way, you know?" Bodie nodded and stared back at the road.

"You're gonna break his heart, ya know that?" he asked me. I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Break his heart is a little strong, don't you think?" he shrugged and kept looking at the road. I sighed again and looked at the road too.

"So it's Billy you like?" he finally asked after a moment. He had a smirk on his face, knowing he was upsetting me. I sighed deeply and refused to answer as I stared at the road, ignoring him. I heard him laugh next to me. "I knew it," he spoke, amused.

"I don't like Billy," I lied angrily. Bodie laughed again.

"Oh, course not," he said sarcastically. "Ya fuck him, but ya don't like him," he continued. It was my turn to laugh.

"I didn't fuck Billy," I corrected him. Bodie turned to me with a raised eyebrow.

"You didn't?" he asked. I shook my head, happy that this time I was telling the truth. "Then forget what I said," he concluded, turning back to the road. I laughed as he looked at me from the corner of his eyes, smirking.

"Boys are so stupid," I stated. Bodie hit me softly on the arm and I hit him back, laughing.

"Girls make 'em that way," he explained. I laughed again and turned to my right when the car stopped, realising that we were already there. The big white house was there, waiting for me to enter and get scolded like never before for leaving like this, with Billy that is, and not calling or anything to say where I was. I signed deeply, turning to Bodie with a frown on my face.

"Good luck," he told me with a smile. I did my best to smile back and got out of the car, keeping my door open so I could lean forward and talk to Bodie.

"Thanks for the ride," I told him. He nodded as an answer and smiled again. "And for... the talk," I continued. "I'll talk to Joe," I finished. He nodded again and I closed the door before turning towards my house. _Here we go again_. This was not going to be pretty.

I felt my feet grow heavier as I made my way towards my house, not sure if I really wanted to go there anymore. At least I can change, I thought to myself, trying to find a reason to enter my house. I finally did and wasn't surprise to see my mother's head pop from the kitchen when she heard me opening the door, followed by the rest of her body and hurried towards me, arms wide open.

"Sarah, honey!" she spoke in French, reaching me to pull me in a tight hug. "I was so worried," she explained after she pulled away, caressing my hair to put it behind my ears. "We all were," she continued. I couldn't refrain to frown, not really liking the feeling of her hand in my hair. This was so not like my mom. We must have visit, I thought.

And I was right. My eyes left my mom to look at the person coming out of the kitchen, followed by my dad. My eyes widened, not believing she was actually here.

"Saraboo!" shouted Jade, walking faster towards me to hug me when my mom had moved to my side. I couldn't move for a second, too surprised to see Jade here, so when she hugged me, I just didn't hug her back, but she didn't seem to care. She backed away from me, a huge smile on her face as I just kept looking at her like she had two heads. "I'm so happy to see you!" she continued, but I just stayed there, shocked. I was happy to see her too, but seeing her just killed me. It was like going back to Montreal; going back to the old life I had done my best to try to forget the past couple of months. Seeing her face just ruined it all, and it brought tears to my eyes.

"Sarah, are you ok?" asked my father from behind Jade, seeing the look on my face. I lifted up my eyes to him and that got the tears to fall on my cheeks.

"Oh she's crying," my mom noted. No, really? I swear, my mom can be so annoying. "It must be because she's so happy to see you," she assured Jade who's smile had fallen when she had seen my expression.

"Sarah?" Jade asked, getting uncomfortable. I blinked twice, trying to get a hold of myself, as I did my best to smile. I don't know if it was believable, but it got Jade's features to soften so I guess it was better than nothing.

"I'm sorry, I was just... surprised," I tried to explain, my voice cracking as I cleared my throat to try and speak normally.

"I can tell," Jade confirmed. She smiled at me and I tried to push my smile wider, but I failed and it looked more like a frown, but she had already lowered her head to study me and my god damn stupid ugly pink dress. "Wow, Sarah, you look nice," she complimented me, but I just frowned even more.

"What are you doing here?" I finally asked her. She lifted her head back up to me and smiled even more.

"I'm visiting. For three weeks, isn't that amazing?" she spoke happily, swinging on her feet as she almost jumped up and down. It's in those moments that I remember she was just sixteen.

"Three- Three weeks?" I repeated. Oh Jesus Christ, son of Mary and Joseph, and God too…? This was just amazing. Jade nodded, her curly brown hair dancing, as she walked to reach my side and placed an arm around my shoulder.

"We're gonna have a blast, trust me. Just like old times," she spoke, waving a hand in the air as if she was picturing the whole thing. I sighed, not really thrilled to the idea. I was going to spend three weeks with my cousin, showing her around Boston, between my shitty job at a diner, my eighteen years old best friend living alone in a not-so-good part of town, my best guy friend who happens to like me, and his brother, who I just kissed the night before, and that I like, for a reason that I don't happen to know. Not to mention that all of these wonderful people are in a gang or related to it and Jade is probably going to freak out when she sees them. Great, just... _great._

"I'm going in my room," I announced as I took a step forward, not feeling comfortable being here anymore. Jade nodded but my mom did not seem to agree.

"Not so fast, young lady," she spoke in her high pitched voice. I closed my eyes, knowing what this was going to be. "You do not except to just walk in here and go back to your occupations after spending the whole night god knows where with two... punks, drug addicts and scary man that I don't know, without calling us at any time? Are you out of your mind?" she started, her voice growing louder as she talked. I sighed and turned to her, opening my eyes as I did so.

"Actually, yes mom, I am," I agreed, but she didn't seem to find it funny.

"How do you think I feel knowing my daughter is out in the streets, all alone-"she started, but I stopped her.

"Not alone. I had Billy and Joe to protect me," I corrected, but again, she didn't feel it was protection enough.

"_Billy_ and _Joe_?" she repeated, her face twisting in a frown as she seemed disgusted just by saying their names. "The two tattooed guys outside the house? How would you want them to protect you, _they_ are the real danger out there!" she exclaimed, but this time I didn't let it pass.

"You don't know a thing about either of them, so don't go and talk about them like you do," I said in a loud voice, absolutely horrified that my mom could insult them in my face. I wasn't surprised, but I was mad as hell. _Even though she was right._

"I knew I shouldn't have let you go to that public school," she concluded: I exploded.

"Shut up, mom! Just... shut up!" I shouted, to everyone surprised. Even I was surprised that I could talk like that to her, but she just pushed it too far. "You are so... so exasperating! So closed minded! Would it kill you just to consider once, just _once_ in your life that there is more to this life than what you think there is? Life isn't just spending your time in your big fat house, waiting for your husband to get home and cook dinner for you perfect little kids and smile all the fucking time! There are people in this world that live all their life without it and they're perfectly fine, ok? Just because they don't have tons of money and a golf club membership doesn't mean they're worthless pieces of shit like you think they are!" I ranted, shouting like never before, my eyes burning from tears that almost came, but probably got scared by the rage inside of me. I was boiling, scarily angry at my mother and everyone who thought like her, because I had just spent too much time with my new friends not to take this personal.

My mom just stood there, mouth opened, as did Jade and my father. I was panting, my eyes widening as I realised I had just totally screamed at my mother like an exasperated bitch, in front of my cousin who had just arrived for a visit.

"Can I go in my room now?" I said between two long breathes, not having anything else to say. Receiving no answer, I hurried of the stairs and disappeared behind my bedroom door.

**There you go =D**

**Let me know what you think PLEASE.**

**I'll update soon, promise ;)**


	9. Hockey is a Contact Sport

**Hey there =)**

**New update, yay !**

**This chapter is quite important and it's kind of sad if you think about it...**

**Please don't hate me for being mean to Joe, he'll find love someday :P**

**Don't forget to review because I just looooove hearing what you think, thanks for all the ones I already got, it really makes my day =)**

**Anyways, I hope you like it ! **

My mom didn't talk to me for days. I knew maybe I went a little too far by exploding like this, saying what I had been thinking for the past weeks about her, but really, I just couldn't hold it back. Things were getting a little uncomfortable at home, even more now that Jade was here and she just looked at us like we were the most terrifying thing in the world, probably wondering why she had come in the first place. I felt a little bad for her, knowing that if I was at her place, I just wouldn't know what to do, but I tried to make it better by bringing her out a lot, out of the house mostly. We went shopping a lot during the first week, since I had no school so I could do whatever I want with my nights. But then week end came, as well as this feeling that things would turn out like crap. Jade had met Emily already a couple of times and they really got along, seeing that Jade was like me on a lot of levels, if it wasn't for her humour or the way she didn't judge people by only looking at them, it was just because Jade and I had a really close relationship, but whatever stranger came along, he wouldn't feel so out. I don't know how she did that, but whenever I was with Jade, I just became a happier person, more open and sociable. It was the effect she had on me, and Emily noticed it right away.

Needless to say that I had tried my best to keep Jade as far as possible from Joe and Billy and everyone who came along with them. Jade was open minded, but not that much. I knew she would freak out, I just knew it. It was written in the sky. Emily said I was overacting, I said she wasn't reacting enough. I knew exactly what face Jade would do, what she'd say and how she'd say it. I had seen it before with some boyfriend I had that they really didn't like. I say 'they' because Jade has an older sister, and the both of them were exactly the same. And they both reacted the same to everything.

"You know Matt's getter bigger every day. He's just the cutest thing ever," Jade told me as we were both in my room, trying to decide what to wear. We had been talking about her sister, Elisabeth, for a while, and how her marriage seemed to go well (she was only 20 but got married young because she got pregnant at 18), and her son, Mathieu. I knew Matt was one adorable little boy, but I hadn't seen him in months, so he was probably much bigger than the last time I saw him.

"I bet. How's Eric?" I asked about Elisabeth's boyfriend/husband.

"Oh, he's great. Everyone says hi, by the way," she replied, looking at me with a smile, and I smiled back.

"Are you sure you want to come? Because if you don't, it's totally cool. It won't be that much fun, and you hate hockey," I asked her after a minute, and Jade rolled her eyes at my comment. Joe had invited us on this lovely Saturday evening to his apartment to watch the hockey game. He knew I liked hockey so he thought I'd be happy, and I would be if it wasn't for the situation I had in my hands. Jade, like most girls, did not like hockey at all, and neither did Emily, but we were going anyway because I had to talk to Joe. It had been a week and he didn't visit me once at the diner. It wasn't even him who called me to invite me, it was Bodie. Guys are so immature.

"No, I want to come and meet your friends," she replied, picking up a t-shirt to put in on herself and see if it looked good.

"You met Emily," I claimed, but she rolled her eyes again.

"She's not your only friend, is she? I want to meet the guys. See if there are hot ones," she explained, and I couldn't help but laugh, though I still had a frown on my face.

"You're not missing anything," I assured her. She put down the t-shirt and took another one, raising an eyebrow at me.

"And that Joe guy Emily was talking about? She said you liked him," she said, looking at herself in the mirror and smiling, liking what she saw. She took off the shirt she was wearing and put the other on.

"I don't," I disagreed, and Jade just shook her head, laughing.

"Then I'll take him," she proposed, shrugging. I rolled my eyes and looked around the room, thinking of something to wear now that I was the only one not knowing what I was going to put on.

"He's all yours," I mumbled, but Jade heard me and smirked, walking around the room to help me find something. I saw my door open and lifted up my head to see Emily walk in my room, a weird look on her face.

"Why is your mom looking at me like I'm about to attack her?" she asked me, closing the door behind her. Jade laughed softly, still looking into clothes, as I sighed. "What?" Emily asked again, not receiving an answer.

"You know the little argument I had with her last week?" I started, and Jade laughed again.

"_Little argument_? It wasn't an argument, it was only you screaming hysterically to your mom and her looking at you like you just turned into an alien," she corrected, and I turned to her with a murderous look before going back to Emily.

"Whatever. Let's just say our mother-daughter relationship took a wrong turn, and she now acts like everything related to this place is threat to her," I explained, and Emily raised an eyebrow.

"Even me?" she asked.

"Even you," I confirmed, and Emily seemed a little uncomfortable.

"Maybe we should go to my place more often," she proposed.

"That's a very good idea," I agreed, and Emily's features soften.

"So, are we ready?" she asked after a minute, where I just stood there, not knowing what to do, and Jade was still looking into clothes.

"Nan, Miss Sarah here doesn't know what to wear," she said, glancing at me just to see me roll my eyes, again. Emily turned to me and smirked.

"You want to look good for Joe? Oh, wait, maybe for Billy... I don't know, it's kind of confusing," she teased me, and all I found to do was to throw her a pillow that she caught, laughing.

"Shut up, Em," I ordered her between my teeth, but her smirk just grew wider.

"Billy? You never told me you had something going on with the other guy!" Jade exclaimed, looking horrified that I hadn't talked to her about it.

"That's because there isn't anything going on!" I claimed, waving my hands in the air in an exasperated manner. Emily laughed at me, and since I couldn't get her to stop, I just pretended like she wasn't there. I sat on my bed, staring at myself in the mirror, seeing how pissed I looked, but somehow I felt my face didn't show just _how much _I was pissed. I locked eyes with Emily who had stopped laughing, seeing that I really didn't feel it was funny. She gave me a sorry look and walked around my bed to sit next to me.

"Sorry, I'm being a bitch," she apologized, and I managed to smile at her.

"Yeah, I'm getting used to that," I answered, nodding my head like I was facing the inevitable. Emily hit me with the pillow she had in hand and I laughed; now being the one teasing the other.

"I got somethin' for ya," she announced, searching in her purse to find that thing she had for me. After a while, she finally took out a piece of clothing that was everything but my style. It was a sexy camisole, showing too much cleavage and short enough so that it didn't hide part of my belly. I looked up to her with a raised eyebrow and she sighed. "Come on, it's just a shirt!" she plead, and I laughed in disbelief.

"This is not a shirt, this is half of a shirt and I am so not wearing this," I replied, shaking my head and waving Emily to put that thing away from me. She rolled her eyes, but before she could say anything, Jade spoke.

"I'll wear it!" she announced, visibly happy to solve our little problem. I turned to her and shook my head.

"No. You're sixteen, Jade, not twenty five," I stated, still not chasing the smile off of her face.

"Who cares, I got a hot body, it's gotta serve for something!" she defended, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Did I forget to mention Jade is captain of her basketball team and has more muscles that I will probably ever have? But she's still very feminine and as thin as me, and she's got more boobs. She's just perfect, and as much as I love her, it really makes me sick. She extended her arm towards Emily who gave her the camisole hesitantly, before Jade took it from her hands and put it on after taking off the shirt she had put on only five minutes ago.

"Great, now I have nothing to wear and my cousin looks like a slut! Let's go," I said, exasperated. Jade gave me a murderous look but I ignored it, rising from my bed and walking towards the door, tired of this. I was dressed like every other day, but at this point I really didn't care anymore, I just wanted to go.

Emily and Jade followed me and we were soon out of the house, heading towards Tommy's car that Emily had borrowed for the night. She got in the driver's side, turning on the engine as I positioned myself beside her in the passenger's side and Jade sat in the back seat. The ride was silent as we headed towards Billy's apartment. My face betrayed no expression but I was really freaking out. Jade was meeting the guys for the first time and I had to talk to Joe about the fact that I didn't like him the way he liked me so he better back off or things would become really ugly. There was also Billy, which I now knew I liked but couldn't let it show because he definitely didn't feel the same way about me, though he kissed me and it seemed to me like it was more than just a kiss. It was like he was trying to get something out of me and didn't succeed in the end. I was driving myself crazy just thinking about it, and I couldn't stop playing with my fingers as the car pulled up in the parking lot of the apartment building.

I sighed and followed them towards the front door, thinking of turning back every two steps but changing my mind every time. We ended up in front of Billy's door and Emily knocked three times, turning to me to give me a smile. We could clearly hear the guys talking on the other side of the door, and even some female voices, followed by sounds of someone walking towards the door and turning the door knob. The door opened to reveal Joe; his head turned towards the living room, laughing at someone's joke, before he turned to us, his smile disappearing from his face. A couple of seconds passed where we just looked at each other, Joe smiling shyly at me as I did the same.

"Are you gonna let us in or what?" Emily asked, getting tired of waiting. Joe turned to her and nodded, moving to the side to let us through. We walked in the apartment and headed directly to the living room where all the guys were already there, with the company of two girls. Not any girls: Megan and the girl who laughed at me at the first party when she thought I was a virgin.

The two girls (slutty, disgusting, pathetic, horny bitches) were sitting with the guys that I was supposed to spend the night with. Not that I wasn't used to seeing girls all around the guys all the time, I knew this is what their life was, but I thought this was supposed to be a small gathering with only the guys, not with sluts too. Then it hit me. Was I like them? Was I just like all those girls around the guys, being only a pair of legs passing by them? I felt different, but what if I wasn't? What if what Emily was trying to tell me a couple of weeks ago was that if I wasn't going to get with a guy soon, I wasn't welcomed here anymore? I stopped on my tracks thinking about it and my eyes landed on the girl I hate the most at the moment: Megan. I did my best to control my emotions though all I wanted to do what just jump on her and punch the smile off of her face, but I had to accept the fact that I could not do that and endure seeing her talking to Billy, touching his leg as he didn't seem to mind and even smiling at her. What? He couldn't be interested in her, she's a dumb whore! And she's Baggy's sister, isn't that supposed to be an unspoken rule or something? This can't be happening. Am I talking too much?

Anyways, I was not happy. Even less when all the guys turned to us, completely ignoring my presence, and looking straight to Jade whose face was just priceless. Her eyes were wide, her lips were stiff and the side were weirdly pointing down like she was totally disgusted, and she kept glancing between me and them, her eyes saying: please tell me these are_ not_ the guys you were talking about. All I could do was give her a small smile and get closer to her so she'd feel more protected, but who was I fooling, I wouldn't even be able to fight a skinny fourteen years old with glasses.

"Hey guys," Emily said, sitting next to her boyfriend on the couch. A couple of them answered and others just nodded. I just stayed there, not really knowing what to do, with Jade next to me. Some of them still stared at us and one finally spoke.

"Who's your friend?" Heco asked, looking at Jade like she was a piece of meat.

"Her name is Jade, she's my cousin, she is sixteen and not interested so don't even think about it," I answered sternly, before everyone who had been listening to us laughed at Heco disappointed face.

"You're _sixteen_?" Bodie exclaimed, his eyes widening as he looked Jade up and down. Jade nodded and Bodie shook his head, clearly not believing my cousin could be so young. Jade was still a little shocked but some tension seemed to leave her shoulders as I directed her towards the TV, sitting on the two remaining chairs, right next to Megan and Billy. _Awesome._ I sat next to Megan and let Jade sit next to me so she wouldn't be as far as possible from the bleach blond. I just didn't want to risk them talking to each other, that's all.

"Megan," I saluted her, sitting on my chair.

"Sarah," she replied, smiling widely, her eyes burning my skull as they screamed: _in your face, bitch!_

"Billy," I saluted him, my voice a little lower now. I was just too uncomfortable, and I bet he noticed. He nodded to me and that's the last conversation I had with him for the rest of the night before he left.

The night went like this:

We watched the game, drank more beers then I thought I could drink. Joe wouldn't speak to me: I drank more. Billy made out with Megan: I drank more. Heco flirted with my cousin: I hit him in the face. Bodie laughed at my lame punch: I spilled beer all over him, than on Heco who I felt hadn't learnt his lesson. Billy left with Megan to some place I didn't want to know the location, though I'm pretty sure it included a bed: I took another beer and drank it. I was furious, confused and hurt and I felt like Billy just made a huge joke out of me, but as the alcohol kept sinking through my veins, I didn't realise it so much. I guess I would the next morning.

When the game was finished, everyone was pretty drunk, even Jade, but I was keeping a very close eye on her to make sure no guy made any sexually related comments, which, needless to say, were pretty numerous. The guys proposed to go to the bar to finish the night, and I would have followed them if I didn't have to talk to Joe alone. I knew this was my last chance to do so, so when everyone left, I told Emily to keep Jade with her and take care of her and that I was going to meet them later. Emily agreed and that's when I made a horrible mistake that I regretted so bad: I turned to Joe and asked him to talk to him alone, in his apartment. Someone kill me right now.

"You look great tonight," Joe told me when we sat on his couch, in his now silent apartment with just the both of us. I smiled shyly, being way too drunk to realise I was actually dressed like any other day and there was nothing special about me that night.

"Thanks," I said in a small voice, feeling uncomfortable being complimented by him all the time. I really didn't want to do this but I knew I had to, but I don't think I was really in the best possession of myself to do so, and before I could say anything, Joe spoke before me.

"Listen, Sarah, before you say anything, I have something to tell you," he told me, and I could feel my heart start beating faster.

"Yes?" I managed to say, though my voice seemed to be stuck in my throat. He sighed, trying to put his thoughts in order before he spoke.

"First, I wanna say I'm sorry for avoiding you this week and tonight, I was just...I don't know, I wasn't fair to you, and I'm sorry," he explained. "Sarah, you know I always kid about wanting to get close with you and all, and I'm always fooling around, being with other girls, but..." he stopped himself mid-sentence, his eyes leaving mine as he stared at his hands.

"Joe, please don't do this," I plead to him, and his eyes locked with mine again.

"I have to," he stated. It was my turn to lower my eyes and look away. "Sarah, look at me," he ordered me, but I wouldn't listen. "Sarah," he repeated, sighing as he was getting annoyed by me. I sighed myself and agreed to look at him, but still keeping my head to the side.

"You don't have to say it," I repeated, but he didn't seem to agree. His face grew darker as he looked like he was getting angry at me for refusing to let him talk.

"Yeah, I do," he corrected. He took a deep breath and I felt my heart stop beating as I listened to him. "I love you, Sarah," he said in a whisper, and all I could do was close my eyes.

This was not supposed to happen. I was supposed to tell him that he was like a brother to me, that I did love him, but not this way. He mattered to me, I cared for him, but I never considered something could happen between us.

Ok I just lied, I did consider it. I just didn't think it was a good idea, and I realised that's not the future I wanted for our relationship.

"There, I said it," he added, and I opened my eyes again to look at him. He seemed so broken, so devastated to tell me this, knowing I didn't love him back, and I felt really sorry for him. I really wished I could have said the same.

"Aw, Joey," I said, getting closer from him so I could take his hand. "I-I know this sounds stupid and that's really not what you want to hear, but I do love you too. Just... not the way you would want me to," I explained, and couldn't find any other words to justify myself. I still felt dizzy from all the beer I had drank and I didn't really realise what was happening. Joe moved closer to me as well, and if I had been fully there, I would have thought of how close he was now, but I didn't.

"I know you don't feel the same, but if you just gave it a chance," he proposed, and I shook my head vividly, realising afterwards I shouldn't have because everything seemed to be turning in slow motion because of it.

"I don't know," I said, closing my eyes to stop the room from spinning and giving me a headache. I opened them back up to realise Joe's face was ever closer from mine.

"Just try it," he insisted, and I didn't fully understand what he was talking about until he got his face even closer, clearly in the process of kissing me.

"Joe, don't-" was all I could say before his lips met mine. It was soft at first, when I didn't kiss him back, but for some reason that I don't know, I pressed my lips on his. I think it's just a habit of feeling the need to kiss someone back when they kiss you that pushed me to do so, but whatever it is, we were making out on the couch, me being too out of it to understand anything, and Joe clearly taking advantage of the fact I didn't realise what was happening. Now that I think about it, he was basically abusing me, that asshole.

He pushed himself against me even more, deepening the kiss as he forced me to lie down, climbing on top of me, the both of us now lying on the couch. I could feel his hands roaming all over my body, reaching for my butt and my breasts, as his lips left mine to kiss my neck, making a trail of kisses to my shoulder now nude after Joe had pushed the sleeve down to reach it. My eyes now opened, I started to sober up, realising a bit more what I was doing, thinking I had to stop this before it went too far. I gripped Joe's shoulders and pushed him off of me so he was facing me. He was panting and looking at me with a confused expression, wondering why I had done this.

"We need to stop, right now," I told him, horrified of having let this go as far as it did. Joe just looked at me, his face twisting in anger, and this moment of silence made me realise I could hear someone else breathing. Someone else than Joe and I. I turned my head to the right and my eyes fell right into his, as he looked at me with a mix of anger and shock. Joe fallowed my gaze and his eyes widen in terror when he saw him.

"Billy?" he stated, surprised to see him there, thought this was his house, after all. Billy didn't move, he just stayed there, staring at us, standing all tall, his fist tighten, his eyes never leaving mine. I just didn't know what to do, and Joe finally moved off of me and stood up, weirdly staying next to the couch, probably scared to take a step away from it and closer to Billy. I readjusted my clothes, feeling absolutely horrible and easy, so angry at myself for drinking so much. After a while where the three of us just didn't talk, I decided this was way too awkward and spoke.

"I need to go to the bar," I announced, my voice so small I wasn't sure if they heard me. I didn't feel comfortable asking any of them a favour, but there was really no way I was going to let Jade find a way home alone.

"I'll drive you," Joe proposed, his head weirdly down as he was afraid to look at Billy.

"You're not going anywhere," Billy spoke for the first time, and at first I thought he was talking at me, but really he was talking to Joe.

"What? Billy-" he started, now looking at his brother, before he was cut.

"Did I ask for your opinion?" Billy asked, his voice louder than the first time. Joe sighed and looked away, clearly pissed for being bossed around like that. "Wait for me in the car," Billy added, now looking at me. I hesitated a second, then rose from my seat and hurried towards to front door, passing by Billy as I did so. His eyes followed me the whole time and I could still feel them burning holes through my skull when I reached the door and closed it behind me. I walked a couple of steps towards the exit, but stopped myself, coming back from where I had came and stopping next to the door to listen to what was happening. All I could hear was silence, until a loud bang echoed in the room, quickly followed by a grunt and the sound of someone falling. Billy had just punched Joe.

"What the fuck was that for?" I heard Joe shout, probably holding his face where Billy had hit him.

"That was for being a desperate dumb fuck trying to fuck her while she's drunk!" Billy's voice replied, now screaming at his little brother. "Don't you fucking get it? She doesn't want you, Joe! She never did!" he added, a little lower now. That was harsh; even I wouldn't have said that. But the guy did try to fuck me while I couldn't think straight.

"Why do you fucking care, Billy?" Joe asked, not having anything else to say to contradict him.

"Joey, what the hell goes through you mind? You think you can fucking force girls into sleepin' with you? Her, of all the bitches you can find, the one you actually like? You're one crazy motherfucker, bro." Billy explained, trying to justify his attitude. "You think she'd just wake up tomorrow mornin' and wouldn't remember what you did? God damn it, Joe, what am I gonna do with you?" he added in a desperate tone. I heard Joe sigh before he spoke.

"Ah, man. She's gonna kill me, or worse, she'll never talk to me again," Joe said, his voice a little lower so I had to bring my head closer to the door to hear it.

"Don't be such a fucking pussy now, man up and get over it," Billy's voice answered with no pity.

"Fuck you," I heard Joe reply.

"What'd you say?" Billy asked, his voice getting angrier.

"I said: Fuck you!" Joe repeated, before I heard another bang, followed by another grunt. Second punch. "Jesus, Billy, you fucking cut my lip!" Joe exclaimed.

"Ya asked for it," Billy explained, his voice now normal after his anger had flew away with the punch. I heard Joe mumbled insanities under his breath, before Billy spoke again. "Now listen to me, you stay away from her and you don't touch her again or I'll cut your balls myself, we clear?" he ask sternly, and I could feel shivers run down my spine just by thinking of the look he probably had on his face right now. "We clear?" Billy asked again, louder.

"Yeah," Joe spoke, but I could tell by his voice he wasn't really happy about agreeing to this.

"Good. Now sit your ass down and wait for me to get back," he ordered Joe again, and I took that as my cue to leave my hiding spot and walked quickly towards the exit. I reached the front door and embraced the warm night without taking the time to appreciate it because I had to get to Billy's car in time.

I got in the car just in time to see Billy come out of the apartment building, tension leaving my shoulders as I realised he hadn't noticed I'd been listening. He stopped when he got to the car and sighed deeply before getting in, sitting in the driver's seat before closing the door. He passed a hand on his head and turned to me, fixing his eyes on me. He didn't move, didn't even turn on the engine, he just stared at me, so I finally turned my head to him. He had still his eyes on me, of course, but his stare was one I had never seen before. He was angry, that's for sure, but not just angry, crazy angry, like I wouldn't have been surprise if his eyes had popped out of his head right then, as he could have destroyed the steering wheel because of how firmly he was holding on to it. I felt my heart stop beating as I swallowed, getting myself closer to my door to be as far as possible away from him.

"What?" I finally asked, getting annoyed of him looking at me without doing anything. Probably analysing if it was better to shoot me or rip my throat out, who knows. His eyes widened, thought I didn't know that could be possible, and he looked away from me, probably trying to gain composure as he seemed to be two seconds away from exploding.

"What?" he repeated, speaking like he couldn't believe I had said that. He turned back to me, his nostrils flaring and his hands even tighter on the steering wheel. "I'll tell you what: you almost fucked my brother!" he shouted, and I backed away even more.

"He jumped on me!" I defended, not believing he could accuse me for this.

"Oh yeah? Why were you kissing him back then?" he asked, looking at me like what I was saying was stupid. I didn't have the time to answer before he spoke again. "Actually, why do you always fucking kiss people and then push them away the second after? This is not the first time that's happened," he continued, and I laughed in disbelief, horrified at his attitude towards me after fucking some stupid slut five minutes ago.

"This was completely different! I didn't want to kiss Joe, I never wanted to kiss Joe and I don't like him," I explained, before I hated myself the second I said it. I had just confessed to Billy I wanted to kiss him and truly liked him, thanks to alcohol, right after making out with his brother. "But that's not the point," I added quickly, refusing to let him comment on what I had just said. "The point is, I didn't push him back for the same reason, and since you don't know any of the reasons making me push you and Joe back, you don't know what you're talking about, so stop," I continued. Billy raised an eyebrow, confused on what I had just said, and opened his mouth to say something, but I stopped him again. "And you have nothing to say because you fucked Megan!" I exclaimed, as Billy's face went from confusion to anger again.

"Is Megan your sister?" he asked, insinuation it wasn't as bad because I didn't have the same relationship with Megan than him with Joe.

"No, but I hate her!" I explained, thought I couldn't picture how he could have not noticed it. I bet he did, and that's exactly why it was her he slept with.

"You pushed me away in the first place," he repeated, justifying having sex with another girl. 

"You were making out with some slut right before me," I replied, not believing what he was trying to do: he wanted to make me believe that it was my fault he ended up fucking Megan. What a moron. "Are you trying to make me believe kissing me meant more to you than kissing her?" I added, and Billy looked away, refusing to meet my eyes.

"Doesn't matter now 'cause I don't go where my brother's been," he commented, and my mouth dropped instantly, horrified of what he had just said. That _really_ hurt. I could feel the tears coming to my eyes in a second and my heart break into tiny little pieces. I couldn't believe he said that, telling me I was just one of those girls passing between them, one of those pair of legs he didn't give a shit about. He couldn't even consider being with me because Joe had touched me? This was just total bullshit, and only a cold hearted bastard could bring that kind of bullshit. And that's exactly what Billy is.

I turned my head away from him, refusing to let him see it got to me, and I heard him turn on the engine, but not start driving.

"Sarah, I-" he started, but I wouldn't let him finish.

"Just drive me to the bar," I ordered, and I heard him sigh beside me before he started rolling, and the rest of the drive was silent.


	10. Magnets and Shotguns

**Hi =)**

**This is a pretty important chapter so I'm very happy to be posting it! I reeeally wish you're going to like it because it took me a while to write so I hope it'll be worth it.**

**Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter, don't forget to review this one, your opinion means a lot to me =D**

"Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up," I spoke in a breath, lying on my bed, staring at my phone. It had been ringing so many times that the little singing sound got me going crazy, and I actually thought I could speak to it, ask it to stop. Obviously, it didn't listen to me and a couple of minutes later, it started ringing again. I didn't sigh, I had done it too many times before, so I just stared at it, eyes wide open, until it stopped once again. 'You have one new message' the screen wrote, and I opened the phone, hesitating between listening to it or just erase it. I finally clicked the middle button and brought the phone to my ear, waiting for the machine to process so I could listen to the message.

"Sarah, its Joe... again. Listen, I'm sorry. I know I've said it a hundred times already, but just in case... I'm really sorry. It's cool you emptied your message box, it was full yesterday, so I couldn't leave a message," Joe paused a second before he started again. "I miss you," he said in a low voice. If I didn't know Joe that much, I would have thought he was crying, but I knew he was just really sad. "Bodie says 'hi'. If ever you feel like it, you can call." Dial tone. I closed the phone slowly, still staring at it.

This time, I really sighed. It took all my energy and my willpower not to call Joe, go see him at the bar, or accept to let him talk to me when he would be at the door. Because yes, he came here, at my house, at least every two days, asking for me. Even if I did want to talk to him, my mom wouldn't let him, but still. He was very persistent. And I missed him too, even though I was mad as hell at him. I just couldn't bring myself to talk to him yet, I was still furious. I could still see him, towering over me, bringing his lips to mine, wanting me. It felt so wrong. And then I saw _his_ eyes. The way he was looking at me that night, it seemed like he wanted to kill me. I had been trying to get that to happen from the very beginning, and now that I didn't want it anymore, it was happening: Billy wanted to kill me. And I, silly me, missed him. That's right, I had never spent so much time away from everyone since I first started hanging out with them, and I had to accept the fact that I missed them all, especially him. I missed the sight of him, sitting on his car, smoking his cigarette. I missed his sent, his touch, his lips, though we had only kissed once, I still missed it. I missed the secret smiles he sent me, the way I felt safe when I was with him, the brief moments when I felt he cared for me. It was driving me crazy. And as much I was wanted to stop thinking about it, I felt it every day. I wish I could say the same about him, but I knew he was probably better off without me. He hadn't even called; he probably didn't really give a shit if I was fine, if I was still breathing, if I still thought of him as a disgusting bastard. You know, normal stuff guys are supposed to wonder. But he's not a normal guy, is he? Yeah, I thought so.

No, Billy didn't do anything to give me the impression he had any feelings for me, except maybe hate. I kept wondering why it was him I wanted, when it was Joe who was the perfect one for me. He was sweet, caring, smiling, fun, and he loved me. Could I say that of Billy? Of course not. Yet, I wanted him. We were like magnets: on one side, I was strongly attracted to him, but on the other... something – my sense of logic, I suppose - pushed me away, miles away from him. The sound of the door opening took me out of my thoughts.

"Hey, my sister's here," Jade told me, only her head being visible behind the door. I nodded and stood from my sitting position, following her towards the corridor. For the remaining two weeks of her time here, Jade and I had been shopping a lot, went out to the restaurant, saw gigs and just spend quality time together, without having anything to do with the guys, of course. I still hung out with Emily, but I stayed away from the boys as much as possible. Not that I had anything against them all, but I didn't want to risk seeing Joe or Billy, and since this is the _Darley_ gang, it was pretty clear it would have happened.

We both jogged down the stairs and arrived directly in front of a smiling Elisabeth. She was spending the week end here to see us, before her and Jade left together to go back home. My home... Well, not anymore anyway.

"Sarah!" she shouted, embracing me in a tight hug. "Oh my god, it's been so long," she continued before I could say anything, and I finally pulled away, the both of us smiling.

"I know, how are you?" I replied, truly happy to see her.

"I'm great. Eric couldn't make it, but I have Matt with me," she explained, pointing to the little boy in my mother's arms. I turned to him and waved, and he shyly smiled to me.

"How old is he now?" I asked, smiling wider now that I saw the cute little kid, his blond wavy hair matching his mother's. He even had her blue eyes. It's funny how Jade and Elisabeth looked so much alike, even if Jade had brown eyes and brown hair, and Eli had blond hair and blue eyes.

"He'll be three in July," she answered, also waving towards her son.

"Wow, he's getting old," I commented, and Eli laughed softly. We walked towards the living room, my father leaving us for a moment to take Eli's stuff in the guest room. We all sat down and my mom left the room, passing by my father as he came back, to get us drinks.

"Was the flight okay?" my father asked Eli, sitting beside her of one couch.

"Yes, everything went fine. Matt was a little nervous, but once we were started, he was better. Right honey?" Eli lowered her head to meet her son's eyes, the little boy sitting on her lap. When he heard someone speaking to him, he raised his head, but didn't answer anything. "The plane was fun, wasn't it?" she asked again, and Matt nodded vividly, causing everyone to laugh. "Sorry, he's shy right now. He's always like that around a lot of people."

"Oh, we understand," I said, looking at the little boy with a dreamy smile. As much as I can't handle kids, I think they're the cutest thing, and I can't wait to have one of my own. Not as early as Eli though, I'm not ready to be a mom yet, but I still wish someday I'll have a little one to call me _maman_.

"You wanna hold him?" Eli asked me, raising Matt's little hand in hers towards me. I hesitated a second, wondering if it was such a good idea. As I said, I'm not really good with kids and I'm always scared I'll drop them on the floor or something.

"Uh, okay, yeah," I finally agreed before I stood up and walked towards her. She lifted Matt up so I could reach him and I held him the best I could, first lifting him up by his armpits, then placing him on me, keeping him in place with my arms. He instinctively wrapped his arms around my neck and I couldn't help but smile warmly, feeling better now. "He's so little," I commented, and Eli laughed, looking at us with a smile.

She was about to say something when the door bell rang, and everyone turned their head towards the front door, wondering who could that be.

"Who could be knocking on our door at this time?" asked my dad with a raised eyebrow. It was approximately ten o'clock, since Eli's flight was late, so I couldn't picture why someone would be here. Since I was the one standing, I decided to go get it, Matt still in my arms. I unlocked the door and opened it, falling face to face with a black man I hadn't seen in a while.

"Bodie?" I almost shouted, shock spreading across my face. He sent me a weak smile and took a step closer, still staying out of the house. He was, as always, dressed all in black, but he seemed to be nervous and his hands couldn't stop moving.

"Hey girl, what's up?" he asked me, like we hadn't spent two weeks without talking to each other. His eyes landed on Matt and they widened, surprised to see me holding a toddler. "Sarah, why is there a baby in your arms?" he asked me before I could say anything. "Is there something you haven't told us?" he asked again, and I raised an eyebrow.

"No, Bodie, relax. This is my cousin's kid," I assured him, and some tension seemed to leave his shoulders. He nodded before looking behind him in a stressed manner, before quickly looking back at me, but I had caught what he was looking at: Billy's car. The mustang was parked further down the street, but anyone inside must have been seeing everything we were doing. I looked back at Bodie and he smiled weakly again, giving me a knowing look. "Why are you here?" I asked sternly, and Bodie's smile dropped.

"We just wanted to check on you," he explained in a low voice. I turned my head to the living room where everyone was looking at me with wondering expressions, my dad silently asking me if everything was fine. I nodded towards him, but he didn't seem reassured.

"I bet you did that already. I saw the cars," I replied, and Bodie sighed.

"I know, but we... I wanted to talk to you. Why aren't you coming to the bar anymore?" he wondered, and it was my turn to sigh.

"You know why," I said simply, but Bodie didn't seem satisfied. Matt moved in my arms and I had to bring him quickly back on me before he fell down. Bodie looked at the toddler with hesitation, waiting for me to be in control again before he spoke.

"Sarah, you know he didn't mean to hurt you."

I didn't answer anything to that. The reason is simple: I honestly didn't know who he was talking about. He could have been talking about Joe trying to fuck me while I'm drunk, even if he knew I didn't want to, or he could have been talking about Billy who fucked Megan just to make me angry and then basically told me I was dirty because he had seen me with someone else, Joe that is.

"Well he did," I finally said lamely, and Bodie placed his hands on the door frame, supporting his tensed body that was now closer to me.

"Listen, I don't got time for this shit, just get over it, ok?" he said in a hard tone, and I stepped back a bit, surprised by his change of attitude. "One's an asshole and the other a hysterical teenage girl, you have to do something," he added, lower now when he had noticed he had talked too loudly. I ignored the last remark, concentrating my thoughts on the first one.

"Are you late for something or what?" I asked, and Bodie turned around again to glance at Billy's car. Just as he was turning back to me, the car honked, confirming my assumptions.

"We got some stuff to do tonight, I gotta go," he explained, and I nodded slowly, seeing at his shaking voice that it probably wasn't something they did every day. "But I miss you, Sarah. We all do," he added, and I took a deep breath, wondering what to say.

"I'll think about it," I finally said and Bodie nodded, a smile illuminating his face.

"Take care." I finally smiled too before watching him turn around, walking towards Billy's car, disappearing in the night. I closed the door slowly, replaying the scene in my head. I knew the guys had been watching me for at least a week, seeing the mysterious cars around my house and the dinner once or twice. I didn't think much of it but it was getting on my nerves to be stalked like this. But still, it kind meant they still cared for me, that _he_ cared for me... I walked back in the living room, still holding Matt, and I gave him back to his mother with a smile.

"Who was that?" My mother asked, now that she was back with some tea.

"Just a friend of mine. Everything's fine," I assured her, and she nodded hesitantly, not believing me one bit. "I'm going to the bathroom," I announced, walking away again towards the nearest bathroom, in the hallway.

I entered the room, locked the door behind me and checked myself in the mirror, acknowledging the big purple bags under my eyes. Jade was one enthusiastic girl and it took a lot of energy to keep up with her, even more when she was visiting and wanted to do so many things she couldn't do at home. I had loved having her around, but it was getting time for her to go so I could have at least one good night's sleep. I sighed and slid the mirror open to take some Advil's since fatigue had given me a headache. I swallowed the pill with some water and was about to leave the room when my phone started ringing in my pocket. I raised an eyebrow and reached for it, checking the screen to see it was an unknown number. I hesitated for a moment, wondering who could be calling me on my cell phone that I didn't know, but I finally just shrugged and lifted it open to place it on my ear.

"Hello?"

There was silence on the other line and I was about to hung up when a voice finally spoke.

"It's Billy."

I froze on the spot, wondering why the hell Billy was calling me and how in the world had he gotten my number. He didn't add anything to his announcement, leaving me to hearing him breathe on the other line.

"How'd you get my number?" I asked after a moment, placing a hand on the bathroom's counter for support.

"Joe gave it to me," he said in the same hard tone he had used before. Well, that made sense: last time I saw them, Billy was throwing punches at his brother, and now, they have the perfect fraternal relationship and they even exchange phone numbers. Awesome.

"We doin' somethin' at Baggy's place tomorrow. Come," he told me, or in this case, ordered me.

"What?"

Now that was unexpected. Billy had never purposely asked me to go out with them. We'd always meet at the bar or at someone's house because Emily would tell me about it, but never did anyone call me to ask. Apart from that one time for the hockey game, but that was because Tommy didn't even bother talking to Emily about it because he was sure she wouldn't be interested.

"It's just a party. You can bring your cousin if ya want," he explained, and I was pretty sure he did his usual shrug that meant he was trying not to make a big deal about something he wanted.

"I- No. I don't want to go to your party," I said as confidently as I could. I couldn't believe he was really expecting me to go to his 'thing' he was doing after insulting me and getting with Megan.

"It ain't my party, its Baggy's."

"But you're gonna be there?"

"Yeah."

"Then I don't want to go."

Billy sighed and I could tell he was trying not to let his temper get the best of him because he was breathing hardly in the phone and I knew he was getting irritated.

"Invite Megan, I'm pretty sure she'll be thrilled to go," I said without thinking about it. I probably should have kept that comment to myself, but it just came out by itself.

"She's already comin'," he informed me in a smaller voice. I scoffed, though I was far from amused and pressed my fingers harder on the phone, somewhat afraid I would drop it.

"Then that's great, have fun with her. I bet you did when you left together the other night."

Another comment I shouldn't have said. Billy stayed silent on the other end of the line and at some point I thought he had hung up on me, but he finally spoke again.

"As a matter of fact, we really did," he confirmed, and I knocked my head on the door behind me. Twice.

I closed my eyes, trying to escape the feeling of sickness rising in my stomach. I asked for it, I told myself. I shouldn't have even mentioned Megan's name, but it was done. And it hurt like fucking hell to know that.

"Great," I managed to say, my voice much smaller now than it was earlier. I should have hanged up, but I didn't. I just stayed there, hearing him breath as he heard me do the same.

"But she wasn't worth it," he finally added, and my eyes popped open in shock. Did he just say what I thought he said? Before I could reply anything, he spoke again. "Listen, I gotta go. Will you come tomorrow?" he asked, and I wasn't sure what to answer. I mean, what he said meant something, right?

"Stop sending your boys after me and I will," I said, and I heard him chuckle other the other end of the line. God did that sound good.

"Deal," his raspy voice agreed, and I had to resist really hard not to smile, though he couldn't see me. "Sleep tight, pretty."

With that, he hung up, and I just stayed there, the phone still on my ear, looking at the wall, wondering if I had been dreaming. Five minutes ago, I could have sworn Billy didn't give a shit about me, or worse, that he hated me. But then, just now, he acted like nothing happened, like he wanted to see me again. I swear, this guy is the most complicated man I have ever met. Someone knocking on the door behind me got me to jump, and I quickly closed the phone and put it in my pocket.

"Are you alright, Sarah?" I heard Jade's voice speak, and I turned around to open the door.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I answered, doing my best to smile at her. She nodded hesitantly and turned around, heading for the living room once again with me on her tail. As soon as we stepped in the room, we heard Eli's voice speak loudly.

"Shit!" she shouted, Matt's bag wide open on her lap as she seemed to be searching for something in it.

"What's wrong?" her sister asked, her eyebrow rising as she wondering what had Eli so freaked out.

"I forgot Matt's food! I have to feed him early tomorrow morning but I have nothing with me. How could I be so stupid?" she rambled, but I was already next to her to stop her.

"Relax Eli, its fine. It's not that late, there's a small grocery store not far from here that's open all night, I'll drive you," I assured her, and her head lifted up to meet my eyes before she gave me a warm smile.

"Really?" she asked, and I nodded, smiling myself. "That's awesome, thanks."

I turned to my dad who gave me a single nod, stating that he was aware Eli and I were leaving for a moment. With Matt in her arms, she followed me towards the front door and we were soon outside, heading for my parents car. I climbed in the driver's seat and Jade sat beside me.

"You're coming?" I asked her, though it was obvious that she was.

"Yeah, why not." I shrugged and turned on the engine, waiting for Eli to buckle her seat belt around her and Matt who was sitting on her lap.

"We're ready?" I asked, turning to Jade who nodded, before I locked eyes with Eli in the rear-view mirror and she nodded too. "Then let's go."

We sped silently down the street; heading for a grocery store about twenty minutes away from my house that I knew for sure would still be open at that time.

Unlike me, Jade isn't a girl who appreciates silence, so obviously, she felt the need to start a conversation.

"Why couldn't Eric make it this week end?" she asked Eli, turning herself around so she could look at her sister.

"Oh, his mother's sick," Eli explained, frowning a bit. Jade pointed the side of her lips down, making a perfect exaggerated sad face, something she always did when she was sad for someone but didn't know what to say.

"Aw, that sucks," was all she said, and I agreed by smiling sadly at Eli in the mirror. She smiled back at me, and felt the need to change the conversation.

"So, what's up with you Sarah? Anything exciting happened since you've been here?" she asked with enthusiasm. I hesitated, looking at her through the mirror. I didn't really feel like telling her about my new friends – that I didn't even talk to anymore – but I knew that even if I decided I didn't, Jade would do it for me.

"Not much," I mumbled, hoping Jade wouldn't say anything. But Jade was Jade, and she always had to talk.

"Not much?" she laughed, looking back at her sister. "Guess what? Sarah, yes, _our_ Sarah, is having it with two guys!" she exclaimed, and I almost slammed on the breaks in shock, horrified that all the mixed up between Joe and Billy could be resumed like this. I never thought of it that way. Instead of stopping the car like I almost did, I just held on to the steering wheel firmly and turned to Jade with murderous eyes.

"That's so not true and you know it!" I shouted, but the two sisters pointedly ignored my complaints, and Eli's mouth dropped in shock, and she started laughing hysterically. You see, in my family, we were four cousins. Eli, Jade, me and Hanna, our other cousin. Hanna was the eldest, and she was always the girl with the crazy stories with boys and friends, and we all looked up to her. After that was Elisabeth, who was this perfect girl with high grades, so beautiful it was hard to think she could be so smart, too. She made a mistake, but she was still the perfect one. Her sister, Jade, was the fire of the family. She was funny, strong, energetic and pretty, and everyone was so amazed of how nice and helpful she was. And then there was me, Sarah, the weird one. The girl who spent more time reading and daydreaming then actually doing something like sports or volunteer work, anything that people are actually proud to say of you. I was never the one with the exciting life, with thrilling stories to tell, because nothing ever happened to me. You can now understand why Eli and Jade were so eager to talk about the whole Joe/Billy thing, now that I actually had _something_ happening to me.

"Oh my god, are you kidding me?" Eli spoke, her mouth still opened with a clear amused smile on her face.

"I've got more: the guys are brothers!" Jade added, getting Elisabeth to laugh again in disbelief. It didn't seem to get to her that yes, two guys could be attracted to me, at the same time.

"Sarah, you naughty bitch!" she exclaimed, but as soon as she did, she covered her son's ears, though it was already too late. "Sorry," she whispered towards him, but the little one was already asleep on her lap. "I can't believe this."

"That's because it's not true," I replied, and Jade raised an eyebrow. "Well, not exactly," I added, and Jade rolled her eyes.

"It's a little more complicated than that, but in the end, that's what happened, Sarah," she corrected me, and all I could find to do was sigh.

"This is insane! Our little Sarah, caught between two guys? I must be dreaming," Eli spoke, still smiling dumbly, and I shook my head. She spoke to Jade, saying I was 'little Sarah', though I was older than her sister. Talk about feeling like a child. "I still remember you with your dorky glasses, dreaming of your castles are your princes. You were such an outcast, it was quite horrible," she reminisced, and I felt my hands tighten on the wheel again, trying my best to ignore her though it was really hard with her laugh echoing in my head. Another thing about Eli: she loved to talk about moments in your life where you looked ridiculous, made a fool of yourself or just did something really stupid, just so she could laugh about it.

"Yeah, I was a geeky weird kid, we get it," I said in a tone that was meant to sound normal, but had a lot of hatred in it. It was enough to get Jade and Eli to stop laughing and they both straighten their self on their seat, a now serious expression on their face.

"Well I'm happy for you," Eli said after a moment, and I locked eyes with her in the mirror, confused. "Really. You deserve something good happening to you."

I swallowed slowly, looking away from her, not finding anything to answer than a lame "Thanks" before I finally pulled up in front of the grocery store. I extended my neck to look at the door, seeing with satisfaction that the lights were still on, meaning I was right.

"We're here," I announced to my cousins and we all got out of the car, me walking first, followed by Jade and Eli holding Matt in her arms. We made it to the front door of the store in no time and we were soon in the cold building, the air conditioner probably at its highest. I swear, it was freezing in there. Eli and Jade went directly on the left row as I stayed a little behind, smiling at the cashier as I wandered in front of the shop. The man was pretty old; he had grey hair on each side of his head, since the middle was already gone. He had a quite big moustache a little whiter than his hair and was wearing one of those large sweat shirt that seemed to have been washed way too many times. He nodded, answering my smile, and went back to his magazine.

I could hear Jade and Eli talking in the back, arguing over what flavour to buy for Matt's food. They seemed to be taking a lot of time deciding, so I finally decided to join them so we could go. I was halfway through the row when I heard the sound of the door of the shop opening, followed by the typical bells, stating someone had come in. I turned my head towards the front in time to see the multiple bodies fill the room, all standing tall in their dark clothes... and black masks. My eyes opened wide and I felt my heart stop beating, seeing the tallest of them all point a heavy shotgun towards the old cashier, screaming something I could barely hear because of how frozen I was.

"Open the fucking register, NOW!" he screamed to the man in an angry low voice, making my stomach twist and my hand start shaking. I was panicking, not only because I was in a store being robbed, but because I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I knew that voice. I had heard it through the phone half an hour ago.

The cashier lifted his hands in the air, clearly in shock as well, as his eyes couldn't leave Billy's gigantic figure, and the end of the gun which was pointed to his face.

"OPEN IT!" repeated Billy, and it seemed to take me out of my frozen spot. I was about to say something when I was the witness of something I had never wanted to see. One of the tall gangbangers got tired of waiting and shot the man in the chest, his flesh exploding on the impact, spilling blood and organs all around him, before his lump body fell to the floor in a muffled sound.

I didn't think twice: I ran for it. Being halfway through the row, it didn't take me long to reach Eli and Jade who were both hiding behind the large row, Jade with a hand on her mouth to cover the whimpers escaping her lips, and Eli holding on to Matt, her hand on his mouth to keep him from making any noise. We didn't say anything and Jade roughly held my arm, bringing me closer to her, making sure I was safely hiding with them. Still, I knew my arm was visible but we couldn't move further so I just hoped they would leave fast enough.

Billy turned to his friend, raising his arms in the air in disbelief.

"What the fuck, Heco, you junkie motherfucker!" he screamed to the Latino, letting his own shotgun hang from his hand.

"Sorry man, it was an accident," Heco explained in a shaking voice. Billy took a step towards him pointed a finger to his face.

"I swear to god, I'll fucking blow your brains out if you keep messin' everything up!"

Heco jumped and took a step away from Billy's hidden red face while his leader pointed to the cashier.

"Deal with that shit!" he shouted at him. Heco nodded and climbed over the counter to get the money out.

Words couldn't describe how terrifying being hiding there truly was. Despite the fact that I knew these men who heartlessly took this innocent old man's life, I was scared shitless. I knew at this point it didn't matter I had spent months hanging out with them, laughing, even kissing one of them. If I moved, if I talked, they would shoot me before they got a good look at me, and it would be too late. I couldn't count on this; I was just like anyone else right now. I swallowed hardly, trying to hold back my tears, but it was hard, being looking at Jade and Eli, two girls that meant so much to me. Sure, they could be found a little annoying sometimes, but they were the only people I could count on in my life and I loved them to death. And Matt... he was just a little boy. If something was to happen to him... I could never forgive myself, or anyone who was responsible for it. We heard another shot, and Jade let go of a deep sob even if her hand was still on her mouth. Fortunately, they had shot the register and were now quickly taking the money, so they didn't hear her.

"Hurry the fuck up, we gotta go!" I heard another voice say.

"Bodie," I whispered, but I was the only to hear myself since my two cousins were too panicked to focus on anything.

"Yo, man, I think I heard something," one of the guys said, probably Spink because of the obvious British accent. There was a silence and I could tell it took all Jade's energy not to scream right there, but I just kept my mouth shut. But then, Eli breathed out slowly, making the tiniest sound, but it was enough.

"There's someone in the back!" shouted one of the guys, and the three of us looked at each other in horror, not knowing what to do.

"Shoot him!" ordered a voice, _the_ voice. I bit on my lip not to scream as well, and I heard footsteps approaching, but still very far.

BANG, BANG, BANG. Three shots were fired in our direction, and I heard Jade scream, but I didn't move. There was a horrible silence where everyone's breathing seemed to be stuck, waiting for something that never came. I bit on my lip harder, feeling the familiar taste of blood on my tongue. There was a sharp indescribable pain in my shoulder and I was too scared to turn my head and look at it.

"Did you get that fucker?" I heard someone ask behind me.

"I don't know," answered another voice, and I gasped, recognizing it.

"Oh my god, Sarah, you've been hurt," cried Eli in a tiny voice, approaching her head towards me to take a look at my arm. I turned my head, noticing the sleeve of my shirt now covered in a wet, sticky substance: blood. Just by seeing the wound, the pain seemed to grow in a second and I scream a muffled cry, biting on my lip even more. It hurt so bad I wished they shot me in the head so I wouldn't have to endure this cruel pain.

"Doesn't matter, we gotta go!" screamed Bodie's voice again. The guys agreed and I heard them hurry towards the exit, their heavy footsteps echoing in the store before the door closed finally and all that was left was silence.

"Are they gone?" asked Jade's shaking voice, modified by her choking on her tears.

Eli nodded but I still didn't move. To be honest, I couldn't feel anything. I was blindly staring at the wall, crying my heart out, my right hand covering my left shoulder, trying to stop the bleeding.

"I'm dying," I said in a devastated voice before letting out a deep sob. "I'm gonna die, I'm gonna..." I continued, stopping myself because of my incapacity of talking while crying. Jade crawled shakily to me, placing some of my hair off of my face clumsily, sniffing.

"Don't say that," she pleaded me, also crying. "Everything's going to be fine," she assured me. "Eli's calling an ambulance, don't worry."

I hardly turned my head towards Eli who was clearly talking on the phone. She had Matt in one arm, and the phone in the other, and I could tell she was screaming but I couldn't hear what she was saying. Turning back to Jade, I realised I couldn't hear what she said either. I could see her lips forming my name, and by the colour of her face, I could tell she was screaming too, but I couldn't hear anything. I blinked multiple times before figuring out my view was getting darker. Now I couldn't see anything either. All I felt was pain. A horrible, unbearable pain that weakened me until I was gone in the darkness.

**Thanks for reading!**


	11. Waking Up

**It's Thursday!**

**So that means: another chapter =) Yay XD**

**Simple chapter, but it's necessary so eum, I hope you'll like it and leave a review because I looove to hear what you guys think.**

**Just so you know, Billy doesn't come back before chapter 13 :/ But these chapters are important too! But sorry about that, that's how the story goes..**

**Enjoy ;)**

_Everything was dark. My breathing was uncontrollable and I kept squeezing the light fabric surrounding the tiny hospital bed between my fingers, but it didn't stop the pain. All I could do was convince myself it would soon be over. Actually, it didn't really hurt. It was more of the feeling that I had a wound being fixed, but I was too frozen to feel it, and it made me feel sick. I tried to think about something else, but I could only feel the needle enter my skin and come out repetitively while the doctor tried to close the deep bleeding wound in my hand._

"_Ok, you can open your eyes now," a low voice said, and I didn't fail to notice the laughter this person was trying to hide, the man I was holding hands with at the moment._

"_It's over?" I asked in a small voice, unsure if he was telling the truth._

"_Yes, Mademoiselle, everything's fixed," I heard the doctor confirm, and I was finally able to open my eyes. _

_My stare went directly to my left hand positioned between the woman's fingers, palm facing the ceiling. The cut started at the bottom of my index and went straight down to my wrist, dangerously stopping just before it could have been fatal. The once bleeding wound was now clean and sewn up and looked much better than when I had closed my eyes. I looked up to the man on my right who was looking at me with an amused smile as the doctor left the room._

"_This is not funny, Nathan," I exclaimed, bringing my hand closer to my chest, covering it._

"_Actually, yes, Sarah, it is," he disagreed before he chuckled lightly, teasing me like he always did. I rolled my eyes and looked away, ashamed of my childish attitude, but also angry at Nathan for being so insensitive. "I mean, who would fall like that trying to catch a ball," he explained, still smiling dumbly at me._

"_A lot of people, ok?" I defended lamely, trying to justify how I had fell right on my face while running to catch a ball he had thrown at me. "And it's not my fault some dumbass left his beer in the middle of nowhere and I fell on it," I continued, looking down at my hand, remembering the feeling of the broken glass cutting my skin. _

"_Watch your language," he scolded me half seriously, and I rolled my eyes again._

"_Yes, mom," I teased him, and he chuckled again, shaking his head in disbelief._

"_You're only fourteen and you talk like you're twenty," he pointed out, and I just raised an eyebrow at him. Since when did he start acting all serious like this? _

"_Well, you're only seventeen and you talk like you're forty five," I answered back, and his only response was to hit me playfully on the arm before we both broke out in laughter._

"_I don't. I'm just saying, you're still a little girl, you should act like one," he explained, but his attempt to make me feel better didn't quite work out._

"_I'm not a little girl! I'm a teenager, you idiot, I wear a bra!" I defended again, and Nathan frowned before we started laughing again._

"_Ok, fine, you're old," he finally agreed and I smiled widely at him as he rolled his eyes. "So, ready to go?" he asked after a minute and I nodded, following him out the door._

_I peered at my surroundings, acknowledging every detail of the hospital that I hadn't seen when I had first came in, being too busy complaining about my hand. I kind of liked hospitals, even though there are mostly sick people there, and that's not very cool, but I felt calm whenever I was there. It always seemed like there was no reason to panic, you just had to wait. Being impatient, I never liked to wait, but it was always so peaceful around me that I didn't really mind. I was still happy to be leaving though, walking beside Nathan as I looked at him with a shy smile._

"_Thanks for coming with me," I told him in a small voice, still smiling at him. He turned his head towards me, also cracking a warm smile before he wrapped his arm around my shoulder._

"_No problem. That's what brothers are for."_

The memory left my mind in a smooth sound, like a noise someone would do if they took a deep breath after spending hours without breathing. Exhaling slowly, I realised it was me who did it, that noise that seemed to wake me up instantly. It was dark again; my eyelids firmly closed refusing to let me see what was going on around me. I tried opening them, but it was really hard, they seemed to be glued to the bottom of my eyes, and every move I made with my face to try and change it sent waves of pain through all my body. Accepting the fact I couldn't open my eyes, I tried moving my fingers, thinking maybe if someone saw me awake, they could do something about my eyes. As I started moving my fingers one by one, surprisingly succeeding after a moment, I thought of how I ended up here. Why couldn't I move? What happened to me that made me hurt so much? Where was I?

I tried to concentrate on what I was hearing, but there wasn't much for me to analyse. It was very silent, but I could hear some people talking, unable to understand the words. After a moment, I heard the beeping sound. The constant high noise echoing in the whole room became louder and louder until it stabilised. I'm in a hospital bed, I realised. But why? I tried to think of the last thing I remembered, but it was all a blur. _I was in my parent's car. _I tried moving my fingers again, shaking them slowly, hoping someone would see. _Jade was there... with Elisabeth and Matt. _I felt someone grab my hand, caressing it softly. _We were at the grocery store, bells tinkled; there were men, dressed in black._

"She's moving," someone said in a whisper, clearly unsure of what they were saying.

_There was blood, at lot of blood. And this voice, I knew that voice, I knew that man. _I moved my fingers again as I tried opening my eyes once more. I could see the light trying to break in.

"She's awake," the person said louder, squeezing my hand.

_He told someone to shoot me. He told them to kill me. My shoulder... I had been shot._

"Doctor!" the voice shouted as my eyes finally opened, my head painfully trying to turn in the person's direction. I heard footsteps rush towards my bed, but I couldn't lift my head up, so I couldn't see who it was. Finally, an unfamiliar face came in my view, followed by another I remembered seeing before, but couldn't think of where.

"Sarah?" the unfamiliar face said softly, reaching for something next to my bed. I blinked twice, staring at the man with watery eyes. "Sarah, can you hear me?" he asked again, and I had to use all my energy to succeed in nodding slowly. He gave me a warm smile and pressed a button on the handle he now had in hand, which made my bed start shaking before it moved, rising me as it did so I could be half sit. I scowled in pain, trying to find a comfortable position even though I could barely move. "I'm Doctor Hurst; I've been taking care of you since you first arrived here. How are you feeling today?" he demanded to know as he checked on my shoulder. I turned my head to my left, staring at the huge white bandage covering my entire shoulder. It was so strongly attached that even if I wanted to move my arm, I knew I couldn't.

"As good as someone who's been shot can feel," I joked, smiling weekly at him. I heard a couple of laughs around me and I looked at my surroundings. I hadn't realised my father was there too (he must have been the one holding my hand), along with the other doctor that I now recognized. It was David, the guy I met weeks ago at my parent's party. The night I kissed Billy...

He was wearing those typical green thin shirts and pants doctors or nurses wore and he was holding a pad in one hand. He smiled warmly, exposing his pearly white teeth at me.

"We took good care of you," he assured me, placing a comforting hand on mine. It was kind of strange, since we didn't really know each other that well, but it was nice and I didn't mind it.

"Thanks," I finally said before clearing my throat. I had just realised my voice was raspy and broken, and I probably sounded like a man.

"So you remember what happened to you?" Doctor Hurst asked me, and I turned my head to him to answer.

"Hum, it's a little blurry, but yes, I do," I replied in a little voice. It seemed like I hadn't spoken in weeks. The doctor nodded and I turned to my father. "How long have I been out?" I asked him curiously.

"Four days," he told me, trying to smile to make it okay, but it didn't stop my eyes from widening, shocked by what I had just learned.

"Four days?" I exclaimed. The three of them nodded and I gasped.

"Well, actually, you woke up yesterday, but you were only half there," David corrected, and I raised an eyebrow at him, telling him to continue. "You were dreaming. You were screaming nonsense things and kicking everything, but then we stabilised you and you went back to sleep," he explained. I swallowed with difficulty, ashamed to have caused them so much trouble.

"I'm sorry, I didn't-" I started, but Doctor Hurst didn't let me finish.

"Its okay, Sarah, it happens a lot. It's part of the post traumatic shock, you were probably reliving the shooting," he assured me with a small smile, and I nodded hesitantly.

"What did I say?" I asked, curious. David said I screamed things, I wondered what it was and what I said about the shooting... I hoped I hadn't said anything about Billy and the guys. David turned to my father, asking him to speak for him. God, what did I say?

"You were asking for Nathan," he told me, and I sighed, raising my available hand to my head to place some of my hair behind my ear. My dad came closer to the bed, taking David's place by my side, and took my hand. I knew there was something he wasn't telling me but I thought maybe it wasn't something he wanted to mention in front of the doctor. Anyways, I kind of knew what else I could have said, so I didn't really need to ask. Of course I had been asking for Nathan, he was my guardian. He had always been there for me when I needed him and he took care of me like the good brother that he was. He may have died two years ago, I still couldn't bring myself to stop thinking he was watching over me, and that if ever I needed him, he would be there.

The doctors asked me multiple questions, some about the shooting and others about how I was feeling. They changed my bandages and checked my vital signs, making sure everything was working fine. An hour and a half passed and they finally left my father and me alone. My dad told me it was barely three in the morning, so that's why nobody else was there. He said Jade and Elisabeth went back home two days before, when they were supposed to. Of course they wanted to stay, but they had obligations and as soon as they had learned I was going to make it and that I was fine, they assumed there was nothing else they could do and decided they were better off at home. Dad assured me he gave them news everyday on the phone and that everyone had been extremely worried about me. He and mom took turns watching over me in the hospital while the other went working.

Turned out David was in medicine school and had a part time job as a nurse at the hospital, which also gave him more credit before he finished university. He had been placed under Doctor Hurst's surveillance, and since he was the designated doctor for me, I got to see him a lot.

The next day, my mom came to see me. As I expected, the woman was freaking out, and the doctor had to ask her to calm down or he would have to call security. I almost laughed, but knowing it was mostly because she had been worried for me, I didn't, and I felt kind of bad for her. After all, she was just trying her best to raise me. She maybe wasn't succeeding very well at it, but at least she tried. That's what they say, right? 'What's important is to participate'. My mom participated, on her own way. I respected her for that. Later in the afternoon, I received a visit from two very polite and awfully too serious police officers. They had come to take my statement. I honestly didn't know what to say.

"Well, my cousins and I went to the grocery store," I explained, looking between the tall built man with his perfectly placed brown hair and my parents, the both of them looking at me, trying to encourage me with their too present stare. I tried ignoring all the pairs of eyes that were stuck to me, but I couldn't. Doctor Hurst was there too, along with David, and they all seemed to want me to explain everything all over again, though they must have heard the story from Eli and Jade a million times already.

"Just the three of you?" asked the officer, his little pad in hand with the pen, ready to write everything down.

"No, Elisabeth had her son, Matthieu, with her," I corrected, and he nodded, writing something down before looking back up at me, waving me to go on. "We wanted baby food for Matt. About ten minutes after we got there, these men came in. They had masks."

I was pretty impressed at myself of how well I was handling this. I would have thought explaining everything would be hard, would make me cry, or would scare me at least. It didn't. I was very calm and I talked like I was stating a story I knew by heart.

"One of them shot the man behind the register. I went to hide with Jade and Eli, they were both in the back, and I was in a row. We hid there a couple of minutes, but one of them heard us, and he fired in our direction. I was hit. They left," I finally said in a hurry, saying what they had already heard before. The cop nodded anyway and wrote it down again. The second one, a little older than the first, with his white moustache, spoke for the first time.

"Had you ever seen these men before?" he asked me, and my eyes went slowly to him. This was the part where I lied.

"No," I said in a small voice.

"Could you describe what they looked like?" he asked again, and I took a deep breath, putting my thoughts in order.

"They had masks..." I said again, stating I couldn't really say how they looked like since I never saw their faces. Well, that wasn't really true, but for that brief moment, it was.

"Yeah, I know," the man said in his old and very low voice. "But how many were they? What were they wearing?"

"There were six or seven of them. They were dressed in dark colors... Everything happened so fast, I didn't really get to see anything else," I replied, and the eldest nodded as the younger one sighed before writing everything on his little paper. "Don't you have the surveillance camera tape anyway?" I asked myself. Both cops looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Of course we do, young lady, but we still need to know what you remember happening," the eldest explained, and I simply nodded. "Well, if you remember something, anything that could help us, don't hesitate to give us a call," he told me after a moment. I nodded slowly and watched them walk out the door. My mom came towards me and passed a hand through my hair. She became more affectionate after I nearly died.

"Don't worry, honey, they'll find them," she assured me. I did my best to smile, though I wasn't feeling very well about this. I knew maybe the right thing to do would have been to tell the police the truth, but I couldn't bring myself to betray the guys like this. Yes, what they did was wrong, incredibly wrong, and I didn't want to have anything to do with them again, but I had grown too close to some of them to sell them to the cops. As crazy as it sounds, those past months made me realise a lot of things about me, mostly because of the guys, and my way of seeing things changed as well. I no longer felt alone, nor unwanted. I felt stronger as a person, like I could decide for myself and be respected if I stayed true to what I believe in. They almost killed me but I couldn't do this to them, I owed them that much.

Later that night, Emily came to visit me. She had been calling me none stop since the shooting, but I didn't have my phone with me, so I couldn't pick up. It's when I had called Ronnie to tell him I wouldn't be going to work for a while since I had been shot that Emily learned what happened and came straight to the hospital to see how I was doing.

"Holy shit, Sarah, you look horrible," she said, sitting on the chair next to my bed. We hadn't spoken in four days and that's the first thing she told me. Great.

"Thanks, Em," I replied sarcastically, and she laughed softly before growing serious again.

"Sorry, but you're pretty messed up," she explained, and I passed my hand in my hair trying to cover my face a little. After waking up, I had figured out my left eyebrow was cut and had to have stitches, and I figured it was probably bruised up as well. Doctor said it happened when I passed out after being hit and banged my head to the floor. My lip was also a little bit open, since I had bitten it until it bled because of the pain. After a couple of days, it must have been a dark red and blue color that could only look disgusting. Both wounds hurt, but it was nothing compared to my shoulder.

"That's what happens when you get shot," I replied, and Emily frowned. She brought her hands closer to me, obviously wondering if she should take my hand or caress my arm in support. I didn't really like physic contact that much, so I brought my hands together on my belly and smiled sadly at her, and she seemed to understand.

"I freaked out when Ronnie told me," she finally said after a moment. "Why didn't you call me before?" she asked.

"I was passed out," I defended, and she nodded in comprehension. "I called Ronnie first, knowing he'd tell you and you'll be here in no time," I added, and we both laughed softly.

"Of course I'm here, you're my best friend," she answered, smiling at me. I felt a warm feeling in my chest, happy to be hearing those words. It had been quite a while since someone told me this.

"I'm happy you're by my side," I said, and surprisingly took her hand. She seemed surprised as well, but squeezed mine after a moment and I realised it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

"Who did this to you?" she asked after a moment. I bit on my lip, then stop immediately when I realised it hurt like a bitch, and looked away instead. Should I tell Emily? She was part of all this after all, and Tommy was her boyfriend... I took a deep breath and turned back to her, but before I could speak, she continued talking. "I mean, if you could remember some details, maybe we could track them, and the guys would beat the shit outta them. I swear, these motherfuckers will pay for what they did to you."

"It was them, Emily," I interrupted her, and she stopped talking, looking at me with a confused expression. She raised an eyebrow, but I still didn't say anything, I just kept a serious face as she wondered what I meant.

"Them? Who are you-" she started, but stopped immediately, comprehension hitting her. Her eyes widened and she backed her hand away from me, swallowing difficultly. "You mean, it was..." she interrupted herself again, unable to finish her sentence.

"The Darley gang," I confirmed, looking around me to make sure no one could hear us. We were both alone in my hospital room, so I assumed we were safe.

She swallowed again, obviously not knowing what to say. She looked away from me, taking as deep breath as she seemed to control her emotions, though it wasn't working out very well. Soon, tears formed in her eyes and she pressed her lips together, trying to hold it in.

"But how could they... How could they do this to you?" she exclaimed, still not looking at me. "Why did you let them do this to you?"

"They didn't see me," I replied, also almost crying just by looking at her. She had been hanging out with them long before I did, and I could understand it was hard for her to admit her boyfriend and his buddies almost killed me. My comment brought her eyes back on me.

"But why didn't they? Why didn't you show yourself? They would have never shot you if they knew it was you!" she shouted, and I glanced back at the door, afraid someone might come if they heard her talk this loud.

"Everything happened fast, I-I was scared they'd shoot before they truly saw me," I tried to justify, but it didn't seem to be enough for her.

"Oh my god, Sarah, you are so fucking stupid," she exclaimed, placing her head in her hands, her elbows resting on the side of the bed. My mouth dropped, realising this was the meanest thing Emily had ever told me.

"Well fuck you Emily! I would have liked to see you there in my place, seeing some old dude die right in front of you and then be shot by your best friend's boyfriend!" I replied in a breath and Emily' head raised instantly, her wide eyes glued to mine.

"What?" she demanded in a small voice. I hesitated a second, knowing this wasn't the way I had been planning to tell Emily what happened exactly. "It was..."

"Tommy, yeah," I confirmed, and she didn't move for a minute before she sighed deeply. I frowned, knowing this was hurting her more than I could ever imagine. It's not every day you learn your boyfriend shot your best friend.

"But Billy asked him to," I justified. "Tommy had no other choice."

Emily sighed again, and went back to placing her head in her hands.

"Oh my god," she whispered before sniffing, obviously fighting to cry again. "Did you tell the police?" she asked suddenly, looking back up at me with tears slowly falling down her cheeks. I shook my head and she seemed a little less worried, but still devastated. "I can't believe they did this..." she added, more talking to herself than to me, so I didn't answer anything.

We stayed there a moment, me looking at the wall in front of me, and Emily with her eyes closed with her hands pressed on her eyelids.

"I'm gonna break up with Tommy," Emily announced, breaking the silence. I slowly turned my head to her as she roughly scrubbed the tears off her face and tried to put the most nonchalant expression she could find.

"You don't have to do this, Em," I replied softly, but she shook her head, ignoring me.

"Yes, I do. This has been going on for too long," she justified, and I sighed, knowing she was lying to herself.

"But you love him," I defended. She looked at me with an upset expression and passed a nervous hand through her hair.

"May I remind you he shot you, Sarah," she spat, doing her best at controlling her obvious impatience towards my understanding of her feelings.

"I know that, but he didn't mean to," I answered, knowing that was only half true. He did want to shoot towards me; he just didn't know it was me... Did that make it okay? I doubt it. "You don't have to leave him for me."

"Not only for you. I'm doing it for me too. I won't date a killer," she explained.

"I'm still alive," I corrected, raising my hands in the air to show myself. Emily cracked a smile, but I could tell it wasn't a real one. The sadness in her eyes was too present to be ignored.

"At least you are, yeah. I would have killed him myself if you had died," she commented, and I grabbed her hand again.

"You wouldn't have known it was him if I had died," I corrected again, and she sighed. She squeezed my hand and another silence came over us. Emily was biting her lip and frowned, so I could tell she had mixed feelings about the situation, and I didn't want to pick a side. It was her decision, even if somewhere in the equation I had made a considerable difference.

"I think I'm just gonna... say I need time," she commented, and I nodded, feeling it was the best thing to do.

"But don't tell him why," I asked, and she raised an eyebrow at me. "I don't want them to know," I explained.

"You don't want them to know they nearly killed you?" she exclaimed, looking at me like I was going mental.

"No. It'll just be better that way," I confirmed. She shook her head in disbelief, not knowing what to say. "Let's hope I just won't have to talk to them again," I added. Half of me agreed with what I said, and the other half just didn't know what to think. I mean, I knew they wouldn't have shot in my direction if they knew it was me, but that didn't make it okay. There was a baby with me, people I cared about. Even if it hadn't been me, it could have been some other girl with a family, people that loved her and cared for her. They wouldn't have mind to kill her, just like they didn't mind killing me not knowing who I was. But I couldn't help but think of Joe, who probably wasn't even there because he wasn't in the gang. It was hard to think I might never see him again. And Bodie, he was always nice to me. I knew he had a heart, I knew he wasn't all bad. And Billy... Billy just broke my heart. He was a complete heartless asshole, a killer and a gang lord on one side. And he was a caring, overprotective, funny attractive hottie on the other side. I hated the first one, and loved the other. I couldn't be near him, or I'd break. I had to face the fact it was better not to see him again either.

"Easy for you to say," Emily commented, taking me out of my dark thoughts. "_I_'ll have to see Tommy, that's for sure."

"Please, promise me you won't tell them," I pleaded to her, squeezing her hand as I did so. She bit her lip again, staring at me with sad eyes.

"Fine," she finally agreed, and I smiled weakly at her, satisfied. She smiled back, but I knew her heart wasn't into it.

"We'll get through this," I assured her, trying to convince myself as well. She sighed and patted my hand without much enthusiasm.

"Let's hope so."


	12. Friends again?

**Helloo there everyone =)**

**It's me again, with yet, another chapter! **

**I'll start by thanking everybody for the reviews because it's just awesome that people are actually taking time to comment on my story, I really appreciate it!**

**No Billy in this chapter, like I said before, but he'll be there next chapter so be patient... And it's a huge come back so, I won't let you down… I hope.**

**Note that chapter 13 will be switching back to third person POV. So, just like the five first chapters of the story, it won't be in Sarah's head like it is now. And it'll stay like that until the end.**

**Enough for the talking, I really hope you like this and don't forget to leave a review =D**

What I remember the most about my brother is how he always took good care of me. Not that I needed someone to watch over me all the time, but it was nice to know I wasn't alone, that I had him. He was gone half of the time and I rarely got to see him after he enrolled in the army at the age of eighteen, but distance didn't matter. He was my brother, the best someone could ever wish for, and even with a sea between us, I could feel him next to me. I knew he was thinking of me as much as I was thinking of him, so much that I could almost feel his heart beating, pounding with the same rhythm as mine.

But his heart didn't beat anymore. I couldn't feel it because there was much more than a sea between us, there was life. _My_ life. His death. We weren't in the same world anymore, we were too far apart. And as much as wished to just forget about it, I couldn't bring myself to stop thinking I would never see him again. I would never get to drive to the airport excitedly, waiting for him to get off his plane and see his smile. That bright, relieved smile he would do because he was home, with me. And I would be smiling too, seeing him there, hugging him, telling him I missed him so much, and hearing him tell me the same. I would never get to drive around in his car, listening to silly music, singing to the top of our lungs, just appreciating the wind in our hair and the moon shining on our faces. I would never get to tell him I loved him, or hear him say it back. I would never feel safe again.

Because all my life, the only person I have ever truly felt safe with is him: Nathan, my guardian. All my life, the only person I have ever truly felt comfortable with is him: Nathan, my best friend. And all my life, the only person I have ever truly loved is him: Nathan, my brother.

"Your brother seemed like a really great guy."

I drowned my spoon in the green Jell-o placed on the table before me, trying to find a comfortable position to eat while being stuck in a hospital bed. David chuckled next to me and waited for me to answer his comment after I managed to sit straight.

"Yeah, he was," I replied with a half smile, resting my upper arms on the table. I didn't really feel like eating anything, especially not this disgusting hospital food. Even though I like Jell-o, theirs seem to have way too much sugar in it.

It was my last day in the hospital. My parents were supposed to come and get me in about half an hour and I couldn't wait to leave these boring four white walls I had been stuck in for a week. I had never spent so much time in a hospital before and I made a promise to myself to make sure it never happened again. David was doing my last check-up before I could change and go home. I have to admit the guy wasn't what I expected him to be. First of all, he wasn't all cocky and self-centered like I thought he was. He was actually a very nice guy, generous and smiling, and he was just happy by seeing other people get better and feel happier about themselves, which I thought was really cool. In addition to that, he was pretty funny and outgoing, and just simple to be with. It wasn't all complicated and stressful like with other people whose name I won't mention…

"Well, Sarah, you're all good," he said after taking my pressure and making sure my bandages were fine, that all my senses were working fine and that I was just… fine. It seemed to me too many people had been making sure I was fine in the past few days.

"Cool, thanks David. I, um, I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me," I replied, and David's smile widened.

"I'm just doing my job," he commented, but I shook my head in disagreement.

"Being nice to me and listening to my complaints isn't part of the job, I'm sure," I defended, and David rolled his eyes, still grinning.

"You're not complaining, you're telling me about you, your family, your brother… I like hearing about that. I like hearing about you," he said, still smiling, but I could hear the seriousness in his voice. David and I had spent a lot of time together that week. Actually, we saw each other every day. He would tell me about his life, and I would tell him about mine. Being my doctor, he got to see my medical record… and my past. He knew a lot about me without me having anything to do about it, but he didn't seem to judge me at all. In fact, he was being pretty understanding and respectful about it, and that alone meant a lot to me. I had soon realized we were getting along very well, and there was this thing between us… I mean, he's attractive, _very_ attractive. And, he seemed to like me as well. But it was all kind of strange, and I didn't really know him that much. But that didn't change the fact we were attracted to each other.

"It may sound strange but, um, I'm kind of disappointed you're leaving today," he admitted after a moment, since I hadn't answered anything to his other comment. He had this shy smile that I rarely saw on him, and I couldn't help but think it was one of the cutest smiles I had ever seen.

"Why?" I asked him in a small voice, not really sure of what he meant.

"Well, that means I won't get to see you as often," he explained, and as cute as that sounded, I couldn't smile. His response brought me back to a couple of months ago, when I had been exempted from high school. Joe had called during the day, wondering why I wasn't there. He was so disappointed when I said I wasn't coming to school anymore. 'So I'm not gonna see you everyday anymore?' he had said. Even on the phone, I could tell how sad he was. Joe… I missed him so much. I had tried to tell myself it was for the better, that what he did to me was enough to kick him out of my life, but I couldn't. It had been so long since I talked to him. Just thinking about it made my stomach twist.

"You can come visit me at my house," I proposed with a small shrug that I soon regretted as a wave of pain hit my shoulder and went down my body with force. As stupid as that sounds, I always seemed to forget I had been shot a little less than two weeks ago. David frowned went he noticed my gesture, but before he could do anything, I raised a hand towards him, stating I was fine. David dropped it and focused on what to answer me instead.

"I'd love that. But, I was thinking, maybe we could… I don't know, got out sometime?" he said, stumbling over his words, obviously unsure of how I would respond to his proposal. I knew we may have had something going on, but I didn't think he was going to ask me out right away. Not that I didn't want to, but it was a little sudden and unexpected, and I wasn't completely sure of what I wanted, really.

"Seriously?" I asked, surprised. That may not have been the right thing to say, but it just came out. "I mean, you and me, on a _date_?" I continued. It had been quite a while since someone had asked me out.

"Uh, yeah, I mean… but if you don't think that's a good idea, its fine, you know, I'll just…" David continued, again out of his comfort zone. I couldn't help but smile, thinking he was getting cuter by the minute.

"No, its fine, David, I… I'd love to go out with you," I replied. David seemed shocked for a moment before a huge smile spread across his face.

"Really?" he asked again, probably unsure if he had heard me right. I nodded, confirming what I had said. His smile got wider and he nodded as well, taking the information in. "Awesome. I'll let you get dressed before your parents arrive."

He smiled to me once more and finally walked out of the room. I was pretty happy to be going out with him, since he was a very great guy and I actually felt good around him… but why did I have this feeling something bad was going to happen?

Fifteen minutes later, my parents showed up at the hospital. I was already dressed, sitting on my bed with my stuff, not being able to do anything except wait. My father helped me bring my luggage to the car, since I couldn't use my arm. It was attached to my upper body with a sling, as the doctor said, to help it stay in place. He also said my wound wasn't really bad and I should be able to use my arm in about a month. It still wouldn't be completely healed, but I could at least use it.

The drive to the house would have been silent if my mom would have stopped talking for a minute. She kept turning around, making sure I was comfortable, asking me if I needed anything. She proposed twice that I meet with a therapist to discuss the events in the grocery store with him and make sure I wasn't mentally disturbed. I kept telling her seeing that shrink wouldn't help me in any way, and I reminded her each time that she had tried it before and nothing good came out of it, but she wouldn't listen to me. My mom is absolutely unable to listen. She could talk for hours, but she couldn't hear what you had to say for more than two minutes.

I was relieved when my dad finally parked in front of our house, since that meant I could hide from my mom for a while. I didn't really feel like going out or anything, but I had spent so much time as a prisoner in that hospital that anything seemed like a cool thing to do. I called Emily as soon as I stepped foot in my room and she promised she would be there in fifteen minutes.

We had a pretty good time, watching movies and eating popcorn. It took me back to my old life, when my friends and I would organize these big sleepovers where we talked about boys and cried in front of cheesy movies. These were the days. Except this time Emily rented horror movies and I spent my evening hiding behind a pillow, while she laughed the whole time. God, I hate scary movies.

Emily was officially single. She had called Tommy the very same day she told me she would break up, asking him to meet up with her. She didn't tell me much about it, but from the way she talked about it, I guessed it had been a though one. He still called her every day, and I could tell he was hurting. I had heard them arguing on the phone, and I felt so responsible for it, but Emily always told me I had nothing to do with it, she knew it was for the best.

I didn't believe her. She broke her own heart and that was because of me.

David called me the next day to set up our date. He picked me up around seven and he took me to dinner. It was one of those fancy restaurants I never really went to, and I first I thought I'd feel completely out, but it wasn't that bad. David made me comfortable, and once I succeeded in forgetting there were other people around us, the evening was fun. He wasn't the kind of guy I usually liked, but he was special. The more I spent time with him, the more I liked him and it was as if he felt the same, so I was pretty content with myself.

But then he dropped me off, and he walked me to my door. It was the first time this happened, that I guy went to my door with me, and he kissed me… I thought that only happened in movies.

Well, it doesn't. David kissed me. Not that it wasn't fun… it was just… different. Different from the other guys I had kissed lately. It was as soft as Billy's kiss, but if felt as weird as Joe's kiss. But it was still very different; it was as if I felt there was something wrong, while at the same time, it was perfect.

He proposed another date and I accepted. I mean, it's not because the first kiss felt weird that it can't happen again… right?

Anyways, I was looking forward to going out with David again. That's what I was telling Emily as I was walking her to Ronnie's dinner for her shift when her phone began to ring. She took it out of her purse and opened it to see who was calling. She sighed and proceeded in putting it back in her purse when I took it out of her hand.

"What are you doing?" she asked me, visibly upset that I stole her phone. She tried to take it from me but I avoided her arm by stepping aside. I looked at the caller ID and back at her in disappointment.

"Talk to him," I ordered, still not giving her the phone.

"No," she simply replied, taking the phone from me. She pressed the end button and the ringing sound stopped, causing her to smile to herself. I rolled my eyes and concentrated on the sidewalk. "You're so full of shit, Sarah," she commented, and I raised an eyebrow, looking at her in confusion. "You keep telling me to talk to Tommy, but when I told you to talk to Joe, you never listened to me."

I rolled my eyes again and scoffed, thinking Emily's story with Tommy was completely different from mine and Joe's, but I didn't get a chance to say anything since we were finally standing in front of the dinner. Our eyes landed on the front door as we saw a familiar boy walk out of the restaurant. He seemed upset, and he was cursing under his breath at his cigarette that wouldn't light. When he finally got it, his eyes lifted up and landed directly on me, and his cigarette fell from his lips.

Emily glanced at me and nodded towards the dinner, stating she had to go and couldn't help me on this one. I waved her goodbye and watched her enter the dinner, passing by Joe who was now walking towards me. They both locked eyes for a second with a challenging stare before they went back to walking.

"Hey," I said in a small voice when Joe finally came up to me. It had been so long since I had seen him; all I wanted was to jump in his arms. But he didn't seem very pleased. In fact, he looked like he was angry at me.

"I talked to Ronnie. He says you ain't working there anymore," he simply said in an accusing tone. I didn't understand why the fact I wasn't working at the dinner anymore made him so angry, but I guessed maybe it wasn't only that.

"It's true, I'm not," I confirmed with a small shrug, which hurt badly once again. I closed my eyes hardly, trying to control the pain. Joe was so busy being pissed he didn't even notice.

"Why?" he asked always so harshly, emphasizing the couple centimeters he had more than me, trying to seem bigger I suppose.

"Because I can't," I spat, not because he was irritating me, but because my shoulder hurt and he didn't even see it. Joe didn't fail to notice my change of attitude and he raised an eyebrow in confusion. I didn't add anything, leaving him to wonder what I meant. He finally eyed me up and down and his stare landed on my shoulder. He looked back up at me, any anger disappearing from his face. He seemed worried now.

"What the hell is this?" he asked after a moment with a shacking voice. I shook my head, refusing to let him know. I didn't want to tell him, because I knew he would just feel bad about it, that he would probably be mad at his brother, and that he would be worried about me for no reason. I was fine now, if it wasn't for the pain. I didn't need someone else watching my every move and making sure I didn't hurt myself.

"Nothing. I-I'm fine. I fell in the stairs, I-" I started saying, but Joe's face made it clear: he didn't believe me one second. I stopped talking, knowing there was no point in trying to lie.

"Stop bullshiting me, Sarah! What happened to you?" he asked again, getting angry once again due to my attitude. I avoided his eyes, making sure he didn't see the panic in them. I also didn't want to look at him because I was getting irritated at his way of talking to me. He was acting like I was the one who did something bad when it was him who should be apologizing. Well, apologizing _again_…

"Just drop it, ok?" I pleaded him, but he didn't back down. In fact, it seemed to make him want to know the truth even more.

"No, I won't drop it. I come here to talk to you, and Ronnie tells me you quit. Then I come out, and there you are, with that bitch Emily, staring at me like I'm a fucking moron, with your arm all wrapped up in some shit and your face all fucked up, and you expect me to believe nothing happened to you? You think I'm stupid or what?" he spat, anger rising again. His face was now red and his fist were tighten as he stared at me with murderous eyes, and it was the first time I actually saw some resemblance between Joe and his brother. I tried to remain calm, but he was pissing me off and all I wanted was to slap him in the face.

"Since when is Emily a bitch?" I asked in shock, surprised to hear Joe talk about her that way. They had always been friends; I didn't understand why he was acting like this now.

"Since she dumped Tommy for some other dude and turned away from us!" he exclaimed like it was obvious. I opened my mouth to speak but couldn't find to words to express myself. I scoffed and raised an eyebrow.

"Emily didn't leave Tommy for another guy," I said surely, though I was starting to doubt it was the case. It was Joe's turn to scoff, still keeping his angry face.

"You don't have to lie anymore, Sarah. We know. We saw her with him," he replied with a smirk, though I could see he wasn't amused at all. "That dick head you were with," he added, and it seemed like I stopped breathing. Who was he talking about?

"Who?" I asked in confusion.

"That guy, at your house. When me and Billy went to take you, the last time you went to the bar," he explained with bitterness in his voice, and I could tell something about what he just said made him upset. I felt my heart start beating faster as I realized who he was talking about. His name escaped my lips, but I didn't fully realize it. I was too busy trying to take the information in.

"David."

"Whatever his name is," Joe replied, rolling his eyes, like his name was the least important detail right now. I looked at him, trying to hide how hurt I was, but I knew it was obvious. Emily knew about me and David. We weren't officially dating, but we weren't nothing either. He kissed me; he told me he liked me. Emily was my best friend. Could they have really done this to me? I didn't even know they knew each other. "Don't tell me you didn't know."

I raised my eyes to meet his, since I had been looking away to hide my emotions. "I didn't."

Joe raised an eyebrow, but he seemed to believe me. There was a silence where we just looked at each other, not knowing what to say. Joe didn't seem angry anymore, but I knew it wouldn't take much before he was again. I took a deep breath, trying to get calm, but it wasn't really working and I bet I clearly showed how upset I was.

"I know what happened with Billy," Joe said after a minute. I felt my heart stop beating as I studied his face, trying to understand what he meant. I hadn't told anyone about kissing Billy, not even Emily. It had happened months ago and I hadn't even heard about it yet. After a while, I figured no one would because no one knew. Guess I was wrong.

"What do you mean?" I ask innocently. He hadn't spoken of me; maybe he was talking about something else. But what could he possibly be talking about other than that?

"I know you kissed my brother," he explained with a serious face, but I could see the sadness rising in his eyes. I didn't know what to say to explain myself, since there was really nothing more to explain. Billy kissed me, I kissed him back. I liked him, he didn't. End of story. Well, that wasn't quite it, but it was close.

"He told you that?" I asked in a small voice. I may have been mad at Joe, but I still didn't want to hurt him. I couldn't even believe Billy would tell him that.

"Yeah, he told me that," he confirmed, again trying to look like he didn't care, but it showed he did. I sighed, putting my thoughts in order before I could explain myself, but I didn't get a chance to talk since Joe spoke before me. "If I would have known…" he added, but stopped himself to take a deep breath.

"You wouldn't have tried to sleep with me when I was drunk?" I finished for him harder than I had expected. I had thought I was over it, but I truly wasn't. Joe passed a hand through his hair and sighed.

"Yeah, drunk because you were jealous of Megan," he commented harshly, and I was taken aback. I didn't think he would say that. I thought he would try to explain like he had done on the phone a thousand times, not accuse me of being jealous of that girl.

"I wasn't jealous-" I started, but Joe didn't let me finish.

"Yes, you were. I didn't understand why you were acting like this that night, but now I do," he spat, breathing heavily as he tried to control himself. I could tell it wasn't working quite well. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked before I could say anything.

"I didn't want to hurt you," I justified in a smaller voice, and Joe scoffed. I guess it wasn't justification enough.

"Mission accomplished genius. I'm fucking fine," he commented sarcastically. I looked down, knowing maybe what I did was wrong. I heard Joe sigh in front of me, but I didn't look up to meet his eyes. Instead, I played with my fingers, trying to distract myself. I didn't know what to say, and I didn't want to talk anymore. I was about to leave when Joe's hands came in my view and took mine. I looked up at him to realize he was calm again. He took a deep breath as he squeezed my fingers.

"I'm sorry," he told me softly once again, but this one was better than the others. This time I got to see his face when he said it, I got to feel his presence and meet his eyes. And I got to say it back.

"I know. I'm sorry too. I should have told you about Billy, and I should have answer your calls, but I didn't want to-" I started, but once again, he didn't let me finish.

"Sarah, shut up," he ordered me. I looked at him in confusion but he just smirked, making me smile.

"Don't tell me to shut up," I told him, still smiling. He chuckled and shook his head before tousling my hair playfully. I rolled my eyes and replaced them as Joe laughed again.

"So, we cool?" he asked after a moment. I grew serious, thinking the idea through. I looked away, then back at him, taking a deep breath.

"Yeah, 'we cool'," I agreed, and Joe's smile grew wider. I realized the only reason Joe and I had been mad at each other for so long was that we didn't see each other. Once I got to see his face, I couldn't be upset anymore. Joe brought me into a hug, being careful not to hurt my shoulder. I placed my available arm around his neck as I squeeze him as much as I could, so much that he started coughed because he couldn't breathe. I started laughing and finally released him to let him take his breath.

"You still didn't tell me what happened to you," he said when we were both facing each other. I stopped laughing and stared at him hardly.

"It doesn't matter," I defended, but Joe sighed, tired that I still refused to talk to him.

"Yes, it matters!" he exclaimed, any amusement disappearing from his face. "You look like someone's beat the shit out of you." He pointed to my face to explain what he said. "What happened to your arm?" he asked again.

"I told you! I fell in the stairs!" I replied, lying the best I could. Joe groaned and rolled his eyes.

"So you don't want to tell me? Fine, don't fucking tell me. But don't come to me when those punks come back for you, ok?" he spat, obviously irritated. I rolled my eyes, trying to ignore the need of telling him how ridiculous that sounded. Like I was going to go to Joe when Billy came back for me.

"Got it," I stated, and it was Joe's turn to roll his eyes. He looked around, acknowledging the sun was setting.

"So, what are you up to now?" he asked to change the conversation. I looked around at the warm evening and then back at Joe.

"Not much," I answered.

"I'm meeting the guys at the bar, wanna come with me?" he proposed, but I shook my head right away.

"I don't think I should. I, um, I'm tired, I should go home," I explained, and Joe made no effort to hide his disappointment.

"What? Sarah, we're cool now, there's no reason to refuse to come with me," he said, trying to convince himself as much as he tried to convince me. "Is there?"

I didn't answer anything and looked around, avoiding his eyes. I had to find something to justify not going to the bar, and fast.

"Is it because of Billy?" he asked before I could find something. I looked back at him and pressed my lips together.

"Yes, it's because of Billy," I agreed, though it wasn't quite true. It _was_ because of Billy, but not for the same reason Joe thought it was.

"Megan won't be there," he tried to reassure me, but it didn't help at all.

"Are they together or something?" I asked, thinking that he was talking about her because I could have seen them kissing or something, because they were dating… I couldn't imagine what kind of a couple they would be. Sex, arguing, bitching, sex, sex… sex. Just thinking about it made me want to throw up. Joe started laughing like I just told him the funniest joke.

"Billy and Megan? Yeah, right," he said sarcastically, and I felt some tension leave my shoulders. "Fuck buddies is more like it," he added, but seemed to regret it the second the words left his lips. Before he could apologize, I spoke.

"It's fine. I knew that already," I said. That wasn't really true, but if it got Joe to stop talking, it worked for me. I knew they had slept together once, but I didn't think it was on a regular basis now… Awesome. I tried to place the thought in the back of my mind and forget about it, but the lump in my throat was too present and I kept seeing these flashes of him and her together… I wanted to jump under a bus just thinking about it.

"He asked about you," he suddenly said with a shrug, trying to make me feel better, I suppose. I raised an eyebrow at him, telling him to go on. "He was asking why you didn't come to the bar anymore, how you were doing and shit. I think he misses you," he said seriously, but I couldn't help but laugh. I could hardly imagine Billy missing someone, especially me. "Don't laugh, I'm serious," Joe told me; though I could see the little smile he was trying to hide.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked him, growing serious again. "Why are you trying to make me believe Billy cares about me?" I added. Joe looked away, trying to find the words to explain himself.

"Because he does," he simply said, shrugging again. I rolled my eyes, stating this was not the time to bullshit me with some crap. I didn't feel like doing this at the moment. "Sarah, listen. Billy's a complicated guy, alright?" he explained, and I scoffed.

"No way," I said sarcastically, but Joe just sighed, telling me to let him finish.

"He doesn't know want he wants. And most of the times, when he does, he runs away from it. 'Cause he's scared," he continued, and my eyes widened in shock. I never thought Billy was scared. Of course, everyone is, but I didn't think he was ever going to let it show. But Joe is his brother after all; he's known him all his life. If someone knows what Billy's scared of, it's him.

"What is he scared of?" I asked, intrigued by Joe's tone. He was very serious now, and I could tell this was not something a lot of people knew about Billy. I actually think no one knows except for Joe.

"Screwing things up, I guess. It fucks you up to be told all your life you're just another piece of shit. That you never do anything right. That you're useless, a waste of time. Our dad… he's one fucked up asshole," he commented, and I couldn't help but frown. I had never heard about the Darley's parents, and never asked about them for that matter. It seemed like a forbidden subject, so I was pretty surprised Joe was talking to me about it.

"And your mom…?" I hesitated, not knowing if it was appropriate. Joe's eyes saddened as he managed to keep a straight face.

"Dead," he simply said coldly. I frowned even more.

"I'm sorry," I replied in a small voice. Joe shrugged.

"I was young, I don't really remember her," he told me, but I still felt bad for bringing it up. Joe was quick to bring the conversation back to Billy. "Point is, Sarah, that Billy always thinks he's gonna screw everything up. So when he cares about someone, a girl mostly, he runs away from her, because he knows it's just gonna end up like shit."

I nodded, taking the information in. It didn't really prove Billy cared for me, but it proved to me that I still cared for him, and that wasn't really a good thing. I had David now… who seemed to be cheating on me with my best friend. I sighed and thought to myself I had to talk to one of them ASAP.

"Come with me," he asked once again, and I smiled shyly at him before shaking my head.

"I'd better go home for tonight. Tell 'em I said 'hi'," I told him, and he sighed but nodded anyway.

I smiled at him and hugged him one last time before walking away. "Call me!" he shouted when I was a couple meters away from him, and I turned around to nod at him, stating I would. He nodded back and went his own way.

I texted Emily on my way home, asking her to meet me after her shift. I was happy that me and Joe were on good terms again, but I had now another problem on my hands: Emily and David. Joe said they had seen them together, but what did that mean exactly? Together could be just talking on the street, or it could be making out in a hotel room. There was a difference. Either way, as far as I was concerned, I had never introduced them to each other, so if they did knew each other, it wasn't because of me. But being it because of me or not, why didn't they tell me? Probably because they had something to hide, and that wasn't good.

I spent the whole night in my room, listening to music, and thinking about my conversation with Joe. The next day was my date with David, who I now learned was probably cheating on me, but all I could think of was that stupid Darley guy. Stupid, stupid Billy Darley. He was probably with Megan now. Kissing her, touching her. Whispering in her ear, pressing his body against hers. I had to resist the urge to scream to the top of my lungs in horror as the images kept flashing through my mind, and because of how hard I wished it was me. Stupid, stupid Sarah. I brought this on myself and I can't even accept it.

Emily showed up a couple of hours later, visibly tired of her night at the dinner. I let her in without a word and led her upstairs, so she could tell right away something was wrong. I entered my room and closed the door behind her, before waving her to sit on my bed. She did and stared at me with a confused expression.

"Ok, what's this all about?" she asked when I didn't say anything. I crossed my arms on my chest and looked at her, giving her a hard stare.

"Is there something you'd like to tell me?" I asked as a response and Emily raised an eyebrow.

"Um, you're acting very weird and I had a shitty day," she said with a shrug. I rolled my eyes.

"How do you know David?" I asked, getting straight to the point. I could tell I made quite an impression with my question because Emily's typical nonchalant posture stiffed immediately. She pressed her lips together and took a deep breath.

"He's your boyfriend," she said in a very small voice. I rolled my eyes once again and looked back at her.

"Is he? Or is he yours?" I spat angrily. Emily's eyes widened, but surprisingly, instead of trying to explain, she started laughing hysterically. I opened my mouth to say something but closed it right away, not knowing what to say. Was she laughing at me? "I don't see what's so funny!" I exclaimed, a little insulted. Emily composed herself and shook her head.

"No, Sarah, it's just… You have no idea how wrong you are," she told me, controlling another laugh. I raised an eyebrow and stayed defensive.

"Please, enlighten me."

Emily grew more serious and sighed deeply. She looked away, then back at me, before she finally spilled it out.

"David's my brother," she said sternly. My mouth opened in shock and my arms fell on both sides of my body.

"David is what?"

Now that was unexpected.

**Thanks for reading, please review!**


	13. The Past Leaves Marks

**Hey there everyone =)**

**I won't talk much today, but I really hope you'll like this chapter because it took me a very, very long time to write, so I hope it'll be worth it !**

**All I've got to say is that you'll notice I don't fully describe sex scenes... If that's something you really like, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but if someone wants to help me with those kinds of things, feel free to send me a message XD**

**Please review when you're done reading, I'd really appreciate it =D**

"So Karen and Richard… are your parents?"

The young girl couldn't seem to wrap her mind around the fact her best friend came from the same kind of world then her and she had never known about it. Emily acted and talked like she had been born and raised in Stockely Hall, the corner where she lived – which was also the gang's as it appears – and she left no evidence that she had lived on snobby rich ass boulevard all her childhood like Sarah. She had the slang, the attitude, the looks, and she even had the walk of a ghetto girl. How could this be?

"Yeah, crazy right? I don't look like them, I don't act like them, I don't talk to them and, well, I pretty much hate them, too, so I understand it can be surprising," the brown haired girl commented with a shrug, failing to notice Sarah's 'O' shaped mouth and her wide eyes as she couldn't move. She was still standing in front of her friend in shock as the other played absently with Sarah's pillow.

"Surprising? More like mind-blowing if you ask me!" Sarah exclaimed, shaking her head. Emily snorted but shrugged once again.

"Been a long time since I seen them, really."

Sarah nodded without adding anything but there were too many questions she wanted to ask for her to remain silent more than five seconds.

"What happened?" she asked in a small voice. It seemed like a very touchy subject and she didn't want her friend to feel uncomfortable, but she also felt she had the right to know what was going on. Emily had never talked to anybody about what had happened with her parents and she didn't even think she was ready to do so, but Sarah had been nothing but nice to her and she knew she'd understand, they had the same kind of life after all. Well, Emily didn't anymore, but she still remembered how it felt like to be that wealthy and go around without a care in the world. Her life was far beyond that now, but she couldn't forget how easy it once had been.

"Shit happened," was all Emily said as her eyes refused to meet Sarah's. The French girl finally decided to sit next to the other as she took the pillow from her hands, silently asking her to explain.

Emily locked eyes with Sarah and took a deep breath.

"Ok, fine," she sighed as she placed her feet on the bed to face Sarah, and the other did the same. "When I was fourteen, I met a guy in high school. I went to the school up your street, you know, the private one?" Sarah nodded. It was the establishment her mother had intended to send her to but she had refused. "Well anyway, he was nice and we started dating. We were together for a year or so when I found out I was pregnant."

Emily paused; knowing saying this would earn her a considerable reaction from Sarah. She was right: her friend's still widened eyes popped opened even more while she let her jaw drop in shock. Pregnant? Emily? That was the last thing Sarah had expected to hear. She tried to control her face but could only think that maybe there was a mini Emily running around Boston and no one knew about it. Where was this kid? Was it even born? Was the father's baby in charge of him? So many questions that Sarah wanted to ask but she had to let her friend finish her story before, so she just closed her mouth and listened.

"Yeah, I know, crazy shit." Sarah nodded vividly as she waved Emily to go on, impatient to know what had happened. Emily passed a nervous hand through her hair and stared at her shoes as she talked.

"I didn't want to tell my parents. Hell, I didn't want to tell anybody, I was so scared. I thought I'd end up alone to raise this kid and I wasn't ready for that. But it kinda happened anyway…"

Emily's soft voice lowered as she remembered her cruel past. It had happened long ago, but it still felt like it was just yesterday she was standing in the school's bathroom, locked in the stall with the test in her hands. She could still feel how hard her strong beating heart had hurt her chest and the millions of hot tears she had cried. She remembered her boyfriend's face when she had told him, a face of pure horror. She also remembered his face when he had then retorted that he couldn't help her, a face tinted with guilt.

"I couldn't kill my baby," Emily stated, raising her watery eyes towards Sarah as if asking a question. She wanted Sarah to tell her she had been right to keep it, that she really couldn't have killed her baby. But honestly, Sarah would have. She knew it wasn't right and she knew it wasn't the baby's fault that it happened, but Sarah also knew being fifteen is way too young to be a mom, and it is way too young to give up your life for a mistake. However, she had never been in Emily's position so she couldn't be a hundred percent sure how she would have reacted.

Emily's half-confident face twisted in sadness as she acknowledged Sarah didn't know what to say, meaning she didn't know if Emily had done the right thing. Noticing it, Sarah stopped wondering and reached for her friend's hand in a comforting manner.

"I don't know, Em. I… I've never had such a hard decision to make, I don't know what I'd do," she explained her behavior, but Emily's expression didn't change. Over the years, she had always thought of how different her life would have been if she had just decided to get an abortion. Maybe she would still be living with her parents; maybe she would still have a warm house to go to and a good school to learn in. Maybe she wouldn't have had a gangbanger as a boyfriend and gang members as friends. Maybe she just wouldn't be the same person at all. That being said, deep down, she knew she had picked the right decision; she just wanted someone to tell her that, too. But it didn't seem like Sarah was going to do that so she just continued talking.

"You never know how you'd react to things like this," she said, not even looking at Sarah, though it was clear she was talking to her. Sarah rubbed Emily hand softly and waited for her friend to speak, even though she pretty much knew where the story was going. Emily sighed, knowing she had to explain the rest.

"My boyfriend dumped me, obviously. He was such a coward, it wasn't even the baby itself that was the problem; he said it was just because he couldn't tell his parents. I told him that they would realize it sooner or later when I start getting big and, you know, _giving birth_, but he said he'd tell 'em it wasn't his. Jerk."

Emily sniffed, trying to hold back the tears, but she knew it was just a matter of time before one finally fell. Sarah was still gently caressing her hand, but she could barely feel it, she was too focused in her thoughts, like explaining the whole thing brought her back there and she was living it again.

"Needless to say my parents freaked out. My mom tried to force me into getting rid of it, but I wouldn't, so she said it was either that or I wasn't welcomed at the house anymore. She said she didn't have the time, nor the patience to take care of this baby, since clearly I couldn't do it all by myself. She said I was crazy if I thought I could be a mother. Like she would know anything about that."

Emily took another pause, stopping herself before she started ranting about her mother. She had a lot to say about her but didn't think it was necessary to this story and she knew Sarah would feel related to it, and she didn't want to make her friend uncomfortable. This was already as awkward as it was without her complaining about her parents.

"Anyways, I moved out. Found a job, an apartment. My parents didn't fully abandon me; they frequently sent me money, more for the baby than for their annoying stubborn daughter, but at least it helped."

Sarah tried to smile to her friend, silently saying that it wasn't that bad, at least they were helping her the only way they knew how, but Emily didn't even notice and just kept on talking.

"I was halfway through the pregnancy when I had a miscarriage. Well, it wasn't really a miscarriage, I was too far gone for that, but there was just something with the baby and… I was taken too late to the hospital, they couldn't save her. They couldn't save my little girl."

Emily brought a hand to her mouth, covering it just in time to accompany a loud and deep sob as she couldn't stop herself from crying. Sarah didn't know what to say, so she just took her friend in her arms (the best that she could considering she still couldn't use her left arm) and rubbed her back slowly, whispering that everything would be okay, that everything was fine, when really she had no idea.

After she could take a hold of herself, Emily also explained that she refused to move back with her parents after that because she had figured they cared more about their reputation then her well being and she didn't want to have anything to do with them, even though they tried to talk her into moving back more times than Emily could remember. Since the incident, she only saw them on Christmas and once or twice during the year when they would really insist in seeing her. She kept in touch with her brother David, who had been on her side from the very beginning and had helped her a lot during the pregnancy and after, but she didn't see him as much as she would like since he still saw his parents frequently and she didn't want him to tell them about her. Which is also why David never knew his sister hung out with a fearful gang and that her best friend's name was Sarah and she happened to be the girl he had an eye on.

She added that if it wasn't for Tommy, she probably wouldn't be the girl she was today, and she was certain she would have given up on life one day or another. Having people to count on saved her from that. And by people, she meant the gang. They never knew what happened to her, only that when she stepped foot in their lives, she was a broken girl with no family and no name. Now, she was strong, confident and in control of her life, all that because she had found a place where she belonged. Not that it was the best place to be, but at least she felt safe there and she had found someone who cared for her.

But Sarah couldn't help but feel it was her fault Emily wasn't in this place anymore. Her break down wasn't only due to the story, it was also because now she had no one except for her friend, and this friend wasn't even strong enough to help her.

Emily left shortly after spilling everything out and went back home with a heavy heart as Sarah watched her drive down the road out the window. She tried to sleep, but she didn't seem to be able to close her eyes. She kept replaying her conversation with Emily in her head, her conversation with Joe, her first date with David and trying to think of how the second one would go. She also thought of how Emily's mother had treated her daughter, and she couldn't help but wonder, if this was ever to happen to her, if her own mother would react similarly. They were friends, after all, and they both seemed to see their lifestyle as the only one to be acceptable. Still, the same kind of situation happened in her family and everything didn't happen this way. But her dad's sister had always been a much cooler mother then hers, so that didn't really mean anything.

She finally laid back and found a comfortable position to drift into sleep, haunted by images of scary tattooed men, evil smiling doctors and dead babies.

[…]

The door bell had rung three times when Denise finally decided to open it. It was no surprise that David was standing behind it, nicely dressed with a warm smile on his face, holding what seemed like a dozen of roses.

"Sarah, honey, your date is here!" Sarah's mother shouted towards the stairs. She made no attempt to try to hide her content smile and the obvious pride glistening in her eyes as she watched the fine young man her daughter was going out with enter her house.

In her room, Sarah couldn't decide if her outfit fitted the occasion. She wasn't the type of girl to dress nicely and have tones of dresses and colorful shirts with matching shoes. She was more of a t-shirt, fitted jeans and comfortable but cute shoes kind of girl. But tonight, she was going out, on a date that is, and she had no idea what to wear. She didn't think jeans were really appropriate, though she had no idea where David was taking her. She had been wearing jeans on the first date and had felt like a fool the entire time in the chic restaurant, so there was really no way she could be wearing the same thing again.

She finally decided to put on the only skirt she had, which was a jeans skirt, but was still better than only jeans. She wore a fitted middle-long sleeved dark shirt and, for the first time in a while, sandals. They even had a heel, and that was something for Sarah to wear. As she anticipated it, her mom's eyes widened when she finally came down the stairs and a surprised smile illuminated her face as she watched her walk. David also seemed taken aback but he smiled as well and extended his arm so Sarah could grab the flowers when she finally arrived in front of him.

"You look beautiful," David said in a soft voice, dropping his arm when Sarah took the flowers hesitantly. She brought them closer to her face so she could smell them and smile shyly at him.

"Thanks."

The whole time, Denise was still standing next to the both of them with a dreamy smile, and Sarah turned to her with a hard stare.

"What? He's very handsome, and he's a good guy. I'm just happy you picked the right choice," her mother explained in French so David wouldn't understand. Sarah's face fell when she realized what was hidden behind her mother's words. Of course she couldn't have forgotten the two men standing by their door a couple of months ago, and how Sarah had gotten in their car instead of staying with David. It was clear she was now saying that Sarah had finally ended up with the right guy, a guy that wasn't them. Denise noticed her daughter's look but just raised an eyebrow, almost challenging her to say otherwise. Sarah had to control herself the best she could not to roll her eyes and just turned back to David, ignoring her mother.

"Can we go?" she asked him, giving him a pleading look. David nodded in understanding and opened the front door to let her out. Denise took the flowers from her daughter's hands and smiled to the young man.

"I'll put them in water for you," she explained. David nodded again, thought she should have been talking to Sarah since it was her flowers now, but still didn't look at her as she did. This time, Sarah really rolled her eyes and followed David out the door as he tried to suppress a laugh.

"Oh honey! Do you have your keys with you?" her mother asked from the door as they were both walking towards David's car. Sarah sighed and turned back to Denise.

"Yes, mom, for the hundredth time, I have my keys in my purse!"

Denise nodded and finally closed to door, letting Sarah roll her eyes again as she left with David. Her mother had repeated at least thirty times that she needed to have her keys because when she'd come back, they would be gone because they were spending the week end at the Harris's country house and would only be back Monday night. She found it pretty weird that her parents would be hanging out with them as she was going out with their son, but coming from her mother, it wasn't surprising.

David chuckled as he opened the passenger's door for her and Sarah raised an eyebrow at him.

"Don't laugh at me, I bet your mother is exactly the same," she defended. David watched her sit and bent forward to speak.

"Of course she is, that's why it's so funny," he replied with a smirk and Sarah laughed softly.

[…]

A couple of hours later, David pulled up his car in Sarah's driveway once again. After spending the first part of the date in the movie theatre watching a popular comedy, which was meant to be funny by its joke, but ended up being hilarious because of the actor's lack of talent, they went walking for a while, got an ice cream (because it was really hot outside) and just talked about each other. Sarah had a fun time and she enjoyed spending time with David, and it was nice to finally have some normality in her life.

"And here we are," David announced when the car stopped, and he turned to her with a smile. She smiled back and placed a hand on the doorknob, still looking at him.

"Thanks for tonight, I had a really great time," she said, not knowing if she should open the door right away. She didn't know if he was going to walk her to the door steps. David answered her questioning by opening his own door and stepping out of the car, walking around it to reach the side walk. In the mean time, Sarah was also out of the car and they both walked side to side to the front door. They finally ended up in front of the steps and David turned to her with a cute grin.

"Tonight was great," he said, extending his arm to take her hand. Sarah looked down to their intertwined fingers and smiled shyly. His touch was so soft; it wasn't something she was used to. "I'd ask if I can come in, but I don't want to pressure you," he stated seriously, playing with her fingers. She opened her mouth to say something but he stopped her. "But just know that you look beautiful tonight, and it's making it really hard not to," he added with a smirk. Sarah raised her eyes to meet his, not knowing what to say. He had basically said that he wanted her and that he wished he could come in, but because he was just too nice and sweet, he wouldn't.

"Thank you," she replied, her voice much smaller than it had once been. David's smirk grew wider and he leaned forward, placing his available hand on her chin to bring her face to his. Their lips met in a short but deep kiss and he finally walked away as Sarah clumsily opened her house door. That kiss had been less awkward then the first one, and she actually found herself feeling like a teenager again, just simply living a normal teenage-like date and excited of having kissed some cute guy. This feeling warmed her heart and she was still smiling when she closed the door behind her.

Like her mother had said, the house was empty, leaving Sarah to wander in the dark rooms. She didn't plan to stay up very late since it was already a quarter past midnight and she was feeling tired, so she didn't turn on any lights on the first floor and went directly upstairs to get to her room. She turned on the corridor's light along with her room's and entered the bathroom to get ready for bed.

If Sarah wasn't the kind of girl to dress girly, that didn't mean she didn't do her hair and makeup. She naturally had wavy straight hair she would put some product in to make it a little curlier, and she would wear dark eyeliner and mascara to widen her eyes. She watched herself in the mirror, satisfied that the eyeliner was still in place even though she had put it on in the morning. She was about to grab her makeup remover when she heard a loud noise coming from downstairs. She instantly felt her heart stop beating as she heard another noise closer, probably from down the stairs. Rethinking about her entrance, she wasn't even sure if she had locked the door when she came in.

Sarah swallowed with difficulty and walked slowly towards the corridor, unsure if she should manifest her presence or hide. The closest phone was in her parent's bedroom, which happened to be the room right next to the stairs. Having heard the last noise close from there, she wasn't really comfortable going in that area. Instead, she took small steps towards her bedroom where she knew she would find her cell phone in her purse. However, she didn't have the time to reach it because someone's hand suddenly covered her mouth and an arm wrapped around her waist, keeping her from moving. Sarah screamed instinctively, but the sound of her voice didn't get through the powerful hand covering her face. She felt a strong body behind her, and she figure out it must be a man, a big one from what she could see, whose face was now next to her ear.

"Calm the fuck down, pretty, it's just me," she heard a familiar voice whisper. Her body relaxed and her heart's speed lowered but her legs were still shaking and she could hardly control her breathing. She couldn't understand why he would be there, in her house, coming in like a thief. She wasn't feeling good about this. He finally let go of her mouth and untied his arm from around her waist so she could turn to him. Her eyes fell right into his and he leaned back, staring at her from his higher point of view.

"Why are you here?" she asked after a moment when they just stared at each other. Billy looked away, obviously not knowing what to say. He wasn't really sure why he was here either and he didn't want to seem like a creepy stalker, so he just shrugged and looked back at her. He wasn't wearing his leather jacket that day, so he just wore a simple black t-shirt and ripped off jeans. It was probably his big army boots that made so much noise, Sarah thought as she looked down, unable to hold his stare. Not tonight.

"So you and Emily are dating the same guy or what?" he asked, not answering her question. Sarah's head rose up as her eyebrows narrowed in a thin line above her eyes. Billy's jaw was clenched as he waited for her to say something and he seemed absolutely confident in what he was doing, which she didn't understand since _she_ was far from confident right then.

"What? We- No, no, we're not."

Billy's expression didn't change, just as if she hadn't said anything. She scoffed and was about to say something when Billy spoke before her.

"But he's your boyfriend?" he asked again, sounding amused, but his heart didn't seem into it. He hadn't talked to Sarah for weeks, but seeing her kiss that guy really pissed him off. He did not like someone else touching what he was meant to touch.

Sarah opened her mouth again, but this time stopped herself. To be honest, she didn't know if David was her boyfriend. They had gone out twice, but that didn't really make them an official couple.

"It's none of your business," she finally said when she couldn't find anything better. Billy nodded, though he was clearly unsatisfied by her answer. But even if she did know what was going on between her and David, she wasn't going to tell Billy. He had just broken into her house, unaware that he had sent her to the hospital for a week, and expected to know everything about her love life? No, that was not going to happen.

Billy remained silent as he watched her watching him. She was trying to figure out what he was thinking, why he was acting this way and asking all those questions, while he just didn't know how to explain himself. He wasn't even sure why he was here in the first place.

Sarah studied his face as she tried to control her shaking hands. This was the man she had been thinking about for months. The man she hated as much as she liked, the man who kissed her before sleeping with another girl. The man who told her best friend's boyfriend to shoot at her. The man she had been dying to see for days. The man who was now standing in front of her, looking all bad ass and confident, when really he was uncomfortable and felt like shit. He felt like shit because he knew she hurt, but he couldn't do anything about it. And she hurt because of him.

Before she could say anything, tell him to leave or ask him what he wanted again, he raised his hand to touch her shoulder. The shoulder she couldn't use, the shoulder with a bullet wound in it. Sarah stepped back, obviously against the idea of him touching her at this exact place, or anyone really. She didn't want anyone to touch her shoulder. She had even learned to change her bandages by herself so her parents wouldn't have to do it for her. It took an hour and a half, but she insisted it doing it herself. Billy didn't stop and tried looking at the bandages by sliding down her shirt's sleeve, but she brushed his hand off.

"Don't touch it," she pleaded, avoiding his eyes. He didn't say anything or listened to her and tried to do it again, only for her to step back even more, now in the door frame of her room. "Stop!"

"Let me see it," he ordered, taking a step towards her. Sarah shook her head, taking another step back, immediately followed by Billy.

"Why?" she asked when there were now halfway through her room. Sarah was standing next to her bed and Billy was in the door frame. She looked around, realizing it really hadn't been a good idea to walk in her bedroom, because now she couldn't leave. Her only way out was the door, and Billy was blocking it.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked instead of answering her question. Sarah raised an eyebrow, unsure of what he meant. "Why didn't you fucking let me see you?" he asked again in a harder voice. It seemed like he was getting angry now. Sarah passed a nervous hand through her hair, understanding what he was talking about. But how did he know about it? Emily couldn't have told them, she didn't even talk to them anymore.

"I was scared," she admitted in a small voice. Billy's jaw clenched again as he took another step towards her, even though she hadn't moved.

"Scared of what? Getting shot?" he exclaimed with a raised eyebrow. Obviously, being afraid and hiding did not keep her from getting shot. Sarah stared hardly at him, getting irritated.

"Why are you acting like I'm the bad guy in this story? May I remind you it was you who shot me!" she shouted in disbelief, pissed off that he was accusing her for not showing herself, exactly like Emily had done.

"I didn't shoot you, Tommy did!" he defended, though it was clear hearing her say he shot her had an effect on him. She didn't know if it was just her imagination or Billy's voice playing tricks on her, but she could have sworn he sounded like he felt bad about it. That whatever he said, he actually accused himself for doing this to her.

"You asked him to!" she replied in a louder voice.

Billy breathed deeply as he stared at her, not having anything to defend himself. He had indeed asked Tommy to do it. In fact, he had _ordered_ him to, and an order from Billy Darley was not something you could refuse.

"I didn't know it was you," he finally justified in a normal voice.

"What if it hadn't been me, Billy? What's the difference?" Sarah said, but that's not what Billy had expected to hear. He didn't really think saying he didn't know who he was shooting would make it okay, but he had least thought she'd understand.

"If it hadn't been you I wouldn't be here," he replied, not knowing where she was going. "If it hadn't been you, I wouldn't have to break into your house to talk to you! You'd had stayed with me and the guys for the past weeks and I wouldn't have been wondering where the fuck you were half the time!" he continued, louder. Sarah shook her head in disbelief now that he was angry and talking to her once again like everything was her fault.

"I wouldn't have to search the fucking internet to know what happened to you, or have the guys follow you wherever you go," he added, taking one last step towards her. There were now facing each other, and Sarah couldn't tell if she liked it or not. Their proximity gave her chills, but it also got her legs to start shaking again. She could still see him with his mask, all dressed up in black, holding his shotgun. It wasn't an image you could forget easily.

"I didn't ask you to do all that," she said in a small voice instead of shouting like he did. The room stayed silent for a second, letting Sarah put her thoughts back in order and bring the conversation back to where she had wanted to take it. "If it hadn't been me, it would have been someone else. Another girl, a man, a child. If it hadn't been me you wouldn't care you hurt somebody. You wouldn't know who they were, if they had a family, a lover, or friends. You wouldn't know and you wouldn't give a shit."

Sarah spoke the words in one breath, not even taking the time to fully analyze what she was saying. She knew Billy knew that, she knew who he was and she didn't expect him to change, but she wanted him to know what she thought of all this. That there wasn't just her, there were other people paying for the lifestyle that he chose. Little did she know he was actually born into it, but that possibility never seemed to cross her mind. Thinking about it, she realized she didn't really know anything at all about him. He was just Billy, the dangerous guy which, against her better judgment, she couldn't help but like. She couldn't stop thinking about him, needing to be next to him, wanting him to touch her. She hated herself for it, but it was the simple truth. He fascinated her. She could spend a whole lifetime just watching him go, studying his every reaction, his every hesitation to all the unusual moments he lived every day. She felt like she would never be done learning how to understand him, how to anticipate how he would talk, what he would say, what he would feel. She knew no one had ever known how, and she had this secret wish of becoming that person who would.

But she was far from that now.

"That's true, maybe I wouldn't care as much. Maybe I wouldn't care at all. But it _was_ you, Sarah, and I care about you," he finally said in a low voice, no anger what so ever showing on his face. He was still stiff, he still seemed irritated, but anger had flown away. He knew it didn't do any good with her, because he couldn't scare her into anything.

Sarah didn't answer anything as she tried to let the words sink in. Joe had told her Billy cared for her, Emily did too, but to hear it from him sounded better. _Much_ better. It was the smoothest sound his voice could make, the sweetest words he had ever said, to her at least, and she let herself crack a smile. It wasn't appropriate, it wasn't planned, but she smiled shyly when he said it. She was mad at him, his answer was far from acceptable, but he had said he cared about her. Somehow, that was enough to make her feel better.

Noticing her gesture, Billy let himself relax. Finally, he had said something she liked. Sarah could sometimes be found a little difficult, to say the least, so when you messed up, it was no need to try and have a conversation with her. He was walking on thin ice, but somehow, there was light at the end of the tunnel.

"My cousins were with me, and one of them has a kid," Sarah finally said, her smiling dropping as she did. Billy sighed, knowing spare time was over. Sarah's eyes watered but not enough to cry. She was just getting emotional and he could see it, but he never knew how to manage stuff like that. Crying girls wasn't something he was used to, or that he especially liked, but he had to remind himself it was his fault in the first place.

"I know," he said sternly. He had indeed figured out Sarah wasn't alone when they had robbed that grocery store. When Joe came to the apartment saying he finally got to talk to Sarah and that she was hurt, Billy understood why she hadn't come to the party like she said she would and why she wasn't talking to any of them. Joe didn't know much about injuries, but he knew enough to see she had most likely gotten shot. That's when Billy had decided to do a research on the internet for any shooting in the past two weeks involving a teenage girl. It didn't take long before he realized what had happened, but it took him a couple of days before he decided to do something about it. "I…" Billy started, but stopped himself to sigh before he talked again. "I'm sorry."

There, he said it. It wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. You see, Billy didn't apologize. Billy wasn't sorry. No matter what he did, not matter what he said, he did it without caring about the effect it had on others because he was always doing what seemed right for himself and his crew. Now, if that created bad consequences on other people, there was nothing he could do about it. But this time it was different. Someone he knew had to pay for it, someone he cared for, someone he liked. Someone he could hardly understand, who drove him crazy all the time. Sarah. And as much as he wished he could forget about her, forget she even existed, forget how her smile brightened a room or the sweet taste of her lips, he couldn't. Another thing he couldn't understand.

"I ain't asking you to forgive me, but you gotta know I am," he added when she didn't say anything.

"Good, because I'm not about to forgive you," she replied in a hard tone. Billy's jaw clenched but he didn't say anything, knowing it wasn't going to help his case. He didn't even know why he wanted her to forgive him, he just knew he should. Because without it she wouldn't come to the bar anymore, she wouldn't hang out with the guys and bring a little life in their conversations. Get them to talk about other things then drugs, guns and gang wars. Get them to feel a little normal in their abnormal life. She would be right there with them and he wouldn't have to wonder where she was or if she was fine all the time. She had to forgive him or he would go nuts.

"I just want to look at it," he said suddenly, pointing at her shoulder. Sarah followed his gaze towards her arm and instinctively shifted to the side to hide it from him.

"You can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want you to."

"I don't care!"

Sarah rolled her eyes and shook her head in disbelief. Billy had the biggest talent to change attitude in a second. One minute he was nice, the other he just barked orders and didn't mind what other people wanted until he got what he was looking for.

"Well then fuck you, Billy, I'm not showing you my shoulder," Sarah spat, feeling like she should cross her arms on her chest to go with her answer but reminded herself that she couldn't, which in this moment thought was bullshit. There was really a lot of stuff you couldn't do when you couldn't use one of your arms.

"Fuck me?" Billy repeated, anger dwelling in his voice again.

"Yes, fuck you! Why do you want to look at it?" she repeated as well but continued talking so he wouldn't comment on it.

"Why _don't_ you want me to look at it?" he asked back, trying to control his temper. He didn't even know why he wanted so badly to see her shoulder; he just knew he had to. He wanted to see what he had done. He wanted to make sure it was healing fine, that the bandages were placed as they should, where the bullet had entered, how exactly it had came out. Unimportant things he just had to know.

Sarah was silent and he lips were stiffened in a thin line as she tried her best not to cry. Her eyes were watery again and she felt a tear slide down her cheek. Once again, she was crying in front of him. How he affected her was beyond her understanding and she hated everything about it, but it was impossible to ignore.

"You really want to know why?" she asked in a shaking voice. Billy took a couple of deep breathes before he nodded, wondering why it seemed like such a big deal to show her shoulder. Sure, that meant taking off her shirt, be he didn't think she was that prude. "Fine. Don't tell me I didn't warn you."

Billy raised an eyebrow and watched her reach for the bottom of her shirt that she tried to pull over her head, but since her shoulder was stuck in bandages and just moving it hurt her, she wasn't succeeding very well. After watching her for half a minute, he finally decided to help her. He raised his hand, asking her to stop moving, and she did, wondering what he was doing. He took her place trying to pull the shirt and finally succeeded after extending it to pass it around the wounded arm.

He tossed the shirt in the corner of the room, satisfied she was finally showing herself. He found it weird to undress a girl without the intention of putting her in his bed, but he didn't get to think further about it because his eyes landed on Sarah body, on her skin… where he could clearly see two long, red and thin scars. Billy's eyes widen and he sent a questioning stare at Sarah who was just studying his reaction. He had intended to look at her shoulder, but it seemed to be the last thing he noticed right now. He was just going over the marks she had all over her body without being able to say anything.

"It looks horrible, I know," Sarah commented, lowering her head, afraid she might meet his eyes. She was pretty sure that's what he was: horrified. Horrified at her wounded skin, and her disgusting marks she could barely face herself.

"What the fuck happened?" he asked like she hadn't said anything. He had honestly barely heard her. He was too shocked. Sarah shook her head, still looking at the floor.

"I can't talk about it," she replied in a small voice he almost couldn't hear.

"You can't or you don't want to?" he wondered also almost whispering, like someone could be listening to them. But they were definitely alone and Sarah felt way too exposed. She lifted her head back up to look at him, even though it was the last thing she felt like doing.

"I don't want to," she admitted. Billy was about to ask why but he stopped himself. It was pretty clear why she didn't want to talk about it, it must have been awful. The first scar starting at the top of her right shoulder going down her upper arm and stopping a couple of centimeters away from her elbow was ticker than the other, and could only have been created by something sharp like a knife or a mirror. The other cut started on her ribs and stopped at the right side of her bellybutton. It was smaller, but it probably had been made by the same tool than the other one. Billy couldn't help but raise his hand and extend his fingers to reach her skin.

"What are you doing?" Sarah asked, but before she could add anything, his fingers made contact with the scar on her stomach and she stopped breathing. His touch was smooth, soft, and it was like he was afraid to hurt her by touching it even though it had been a long time since it was healed. He stepped closer to her so he wouldn't have to extend his arm as much to reach her. Sarah swallowed with difficulty and took at deep breath, unable to move. He was slowly tracing her scar with hesitant fingers like he could read the story behind it by doing so. Taking control of her body, Sarah placed her hand on his to stop his movement.

"Stop it," she pleaded, and Billy's eyes left her body to lock with hers. He could tell she wasn't comfortable, that she would have given anything to be able to hide herself again, but he wouldn't give her that chance. She seemed ashamed of her body, to show him what she had wanted to keep a secret. He figured it was probably why she had refused him all along, by fear of showing herself.

"Look," Billy said softly. He let her hand fall down as he managed to reach for the bottom of his own shirt and take it off, still staying extremely close to her.

Sarah didn't expect him to do this and took a step away from him, but he walked with her, and now that she had her back to the wall, there was no escaping. She tried to look away but it was too hard, her eyes scanned his body in fascination. Not only was he extremely built and imposing, she had never thought that the tattoos he had on his neck and arms continued inside his shirt. The designs went down his chest and continued on his upper arms gracefully. But then she noticed something that didn't immediately caught the eye, but before she could say anything, Billy took her hand and placed it on his hard and defined abs.

At first taken completely off guard, Sarah tried to pull her hand back to her, but he didn't let her and firmly held on to it. He then, more gently, moved her hand on his skin so she could feel what she had just seen. _His_ scars.

The first one was on his ribs. It was relatively small but very thick and Sarah instantly wondered how he had gotten it. He must have sensed it because he spoke right after.

"Bar fight a couple of years ago," he explained normally as if it was no big deal. "A beer broke and some dickhead decided to use it as a weapon."

Sarah's eyes left the scar an instant to glance at Billy who was looking at her, studying her reaction like she had done. She looked back to his body to trace the scar once more before she decided to pick on another. She moved her hand to reach his left hip to trace a longer scar she could only think had hurt like hell.

"Got jumped when I was… thirteen, fourteen maybe. Somethin' like that," he said with a shrug. He didn't even remember the details of that night, he was too fucked up. He just knew he had met some guys in an alley, and they beat the shit out of him and took his wallet and what he was supposed to sell. When he came home, Bones was so pissed he had his merchandise stolen that he also hit him, but had found necessary to threaten him with a kitchen knife that he had thrown at him, not thinking it would hit him, but it did. Billy wasn't going to tell her that but he could only remember how much blood he had lost.

Sarah wanted to say how horrible that sounded but she just stopped tracing the scar and searched for another one. She looked up at his face, which was now inches away from hers and raised her hand to touch a mark he had next to his left eye. It was small but pretty thick and she wasn't even sure she wanted to know what had happened. Too many things had happened to him and she didn't know if she could handle it.

"I passed out and hit my head on the corner of the bed."

Billy smirked, knowing this wasn't the kind of story Sarah had expected to hear. It definitely wasn't the worst scar he had but it was one that hurt the most. He hadn't been able to blink without hurting for weeks because of that cut, but he wasn't going to tell her that, because that would have probably erased the smile she now had on her face. She traced the mark once again before she let her arm fall back down her body.

They stared at each other for what seemed like forever before she spoke for the first time since they had started inspecting each other's wounds.

"Thank you," she said softly, and Billy just shrugged. He didn't know why exactly he had done that but now that it seemed it had made her feel better, he was pretty satisfied with himself.

Another silence overtook them and Sarah didn't notice Billy's movement before she felt his chest make contact with her own. Her back met the wall and she gasped, feeling the contrast between the cold material and Billy's warm skin. He raised his hand to touch the side of her face that he cleared by placing some of her hair behind her ear. His fingers slowly went down her cheek, going over her neck, passing by her wounded shoulder and on her breasts now only hiding behind her black simple bra. Sarah stopped breathing as he traced her scar once again before placing his hand on her hip and focusing on her face again. The feeling on his fingers on her send shivers down her spine and gave her goose bumps, but he ignored it and leaned his head closer to travel her neck, barely touching it with his lips. Sarah shivered once again and instinctively held her available arm higher to wrap it around his neck when he started making a trail of kisses on her skin. She bit on her lip and tried to breathe the best that she could but Billy stopped kissing her neck to raise his head again. He passed his thumb on her lips to unlock them from her teeth and attacked them with his own.

Sarah's mind was racing as Billy pressed his body harder on her, squeezing her between the wall and him. She didn't know what she was doing; she didn't know if she should be doing it, all she knew was that it was too good to stop it. Billy deepened the kiss when his tongue finally entered her mouth and his hand traveled up and down her body. He placed one on her thigh while the other was reaching for her bra he seemed eager to take off. He finally did and they separated for a moment to take a breath and Billy took advantage of it to raise her skirt up and placed his legs between hers when she wrapped them around his waist. They started kissing again as Billy turned them around to place her on the bed, never breaking the kiss. He climbed on top of her and unbuttoned her skirt so she could take it off and carelessly threw it somewhere in the room and he watched her front his position. They were both panting as they watched each other, and Billy scanned her body without, for the first time, having to hide it. He watched as her chest went up and down while she tried to control her breathing, now almost naked in front of him. He smirked and so did she as she reached for his pants to unbuckle his belt and help him take them off.

He placed himself between her legs again and they proceeded in taking what was left of their clothes off, kissing passionately on Sarah's small single bed, who proved to be enough for the both of them when they were that close.

While she had sex for the first time with a man in two years, Sarah never thought of how wrong it might be. She didn't think of him as the dangerous bad guy that he was, all those people who hated him, all those who wanted him dead, and all those that he wanted dead. She didn't think of David who was the complete opposite of Billy but with whom she had never felt half of what she felt when the gang banger touched her. She didn't think of her parents who would kill her if they were to learn about this or Emily who had broken with her boyfriend because of the man she was with. She didn't think of Joe who was probably with another girl at that moment, secretly wishing she was her. She didn't think of anything but the fact that for the first time in a very long time, she was happy.

And when Billy collapsed on top of her as she screamed his name, both of them panting and holding on to each other with all the energy they had left, she wished that night never ended.

**Thanks for reading, leave a review!**


	14. Making a Deal

**Hey!  
So this is the next chapter, it's not very long but it'll do the job I guess.**

**Note that I'm very busy lately and I've lost a bit of inspiration because of it… so I might not post the next chapter as soon as I said I would. It might take some time, I'm sorry about that.**

**But in the end, it's just so my chapters are better and I don't rush to write them, which wouldn't make them as good as I want them to be.**

**Anyways, enjoy this one and I hope you like it! Don't forget to leave a review.**

Billy was sleeping.

He had been for the last ten hours, his arm resting on Sarah's once relaxed body, which had been tensed for thirty minutes now as she watched him dreaming. She had intended to go back to sleep, but she couldn't close her eyes. She couldn't stop looking at him, wondering how in the world this could have happened, and why she had _let it_ happen.

But for the most part, she was just wondering why the hell he was still there.

She was expecting to wake up to an empty bed, but no, he was here, still sleeping, at 11h30 in the morning.

Sarah slowly shifted to the side, trying not to wake him. She knew she should wake him up soon, but she didn't think it was necessary to do it now, and honestly, she was scared to do so. How would he react to waking up next to her? Would he regret it? Would he just leave and pretend it didn't happen? Would he try to do it again…?

Sarah rolled her eyes at her own stupidity and proceeded in holding Billy's arm softly to push it off of her.

Seriously though, morning sex didn't seem like a good idea. She still felt sore of the previous night and she had a rather important pain between her legs she could hardly ignore.

Sarah shook her head and crawled out of bed soundly, turning around to notice in satisfaction that the gangbanger was still asleep and hadn't moved expect for the arm now resting on the bed where she had been. She stayed there a moment, wondering how a cocky hothead, as dangerous and irritating as Billy was, could be so cute and soft when he slept. She smirked and shook her head before walking around the room to find some clothes to wear. She took out a pair of grey sweat pants, a black wife beater and cleaned underwear and walked out of the room to enter the bathroom where she took a quick shower. She took exceptionally only twenty minutes to change her bandages and brushed her teeth happily, satisfied with her new record.

She dried her hair and put on what she had picked before taking out a new toothbrush and placing it on the counter. She stared at it for a second, then took out perfectly folded towel and placed it underneath it. She glanced at herself in the mirror, than back at the items, thinking Billy would probably say it was stupid and unnecessary, but she just shrugged and walked out of the bathroom, bumping in Billy as she did so. She lifted her head up to meet his eyes shyly, unsure of what she would find in them. Billy seemed groggy and she could tell he had just woken up, but he still managed to raise an eyebrow at her with his usual questioning look.

"Hi," she said in a tiny voice, passing a hand in her still almost wet hair. Billy instinctively sniffed to smell the perfume of the shampoo: Watermelon. He smirked and nodded as a salutation.

"You should'a told me you were takin' a shower, I would'a join," he commented and Sarah couldn't help but smile. She looked down at him and noticed he was still completely naked, which got her to blush. Billy's smirk grew wider and he took a step closer towards her, squeezing her between him and the wall once again. He kissed the side of her face gently before going for her neck, burying his face in her hair at the same time. Sarah tried to keep her head straight but she could only concentrate on Billy's finger sliding between her sweat pants and her skin, silently stating it was an unnecessary piece of clothing. She also couldn't fail to notice that even if Billy was still half asleep, that didn't mean some parts of his body weren't fully awake…

"I didn't want to wake you up," she explained, shivering as Billy's hand was now pulling up her shirt to touch the skin underneath it.

"I'm awake now," he commented, talking the words slowly in Sarah's ear. She laughed shyly and managed to set a fair space between them by taking even less place between the wall and him.

"I, um, I'll be making breakfast," Sarah said between two very difficult breathes. Billy grunted and leaned back, looking upset. She did her best to smile at him and finally walked around him, heading for the stairs. He rolled his eyes and entered the bathroom where she had been a couple of minutes ago, finding a brand new tooth brush and a clean towel waiting for him. He closed the door behind him as he shook his head. As stupid and unnecessary as he thought that was, he actually found himself liking it. He could get used to this.

Billy entered the shower as Sarah reached the kitchen. She took out the frying pan and placed it on the top of the oven. She passed a hand through her hair, thinking she shouldn't let them down if she was going to cook. So she left the kitchen to go back upstairs to look for something for her hair band. Entering the room, she went directly for her dresser but stopped walking when she heard a buzzing noise. She turned around; wondering where it came from and what it was. She finally spotted where the sound was coming from and walked towards what seemed like Billy's jeans.

Sarah hesitated a second, then decided she wasn't doing anything wrong just checking who it was. She reached for the phone in Billy's pocket and took it out slowly, glancing at the door to make sure he wasn't there. Seeing no one, she looked back at the phone and flipped it open. The screen read: _**Three missed calls**_. Sarah clicked on it for more details and learned that the first one was from Bodie, the second from Joe, and the last one from Megan a couple of seconds ago. Sarah couldn't help but grunt as she read the girl's name but continued her investigation when she saw he also had a new text message from last night, approximately at the moment when her and Billy had gotten together. She opened it and read with a frown.

_Where r u? U were supposed 2 b there 2night! miss u. xx –M_

Sarah closed the phone with a sigh and placed it back in Billy's pocket. While her and Billy were having sex, Megan had texted him to ask where he was because he was supposed to be with her. Just now, she had called him while in was in _her_ shower, where he had basically asked her to join him. How fucked up was that?

She didn't especially like Megan, but this was maybe a little too much. It was definitely a line she had never crossed, and she wasn't sure if she was comfortable doing it. But it was done already. She had cheated on David; Billy had cheated on Megan, whatever their relationship might have been.

Sarah went back to the kitchen while Billy finished his shower. He was taking his time, knowing when he came out, he had to face her. She seemed distant, and he was a little scared he might have pushed her into something she didn't really want. He had wanted it, that's for sure, and it seemed like she had enjoyed it, but today was another day, and he couldn't help but wonder if she would see all this as a mistake.

But apart from all that, he was also taking his time just because he had a boner and he had to calm the fuck down.

Fifteen minutes later (one of the longest showers he had ever taken alone), Billy came out of the shower, brushed his teeth with that new toothbrush of his and went back in Sarah's bedroom to get dressed. Jogging down the stairs, he checked his phone, noticing his three missed calls and his text message, unaware he wasn't the first person to see them. He flipped the phone shut when he entered the kitchen that smelled of butter and sugar.

Sarah turned to him when he came in, her hair now in a ponytail with a plate full of pancakes in her hands.

"I made pancakes, I hope that's okay?" she asked, placing the plate down on the table. Billy stayed in the frame of the door for a couple of seconds in disbelief. He hadn't had pancakes in years. He couldn't even remember the last time he ate those.

Wait, no, he did. He knew perfectly well when he had eaten pancakes for the last time: the last day he had spent with his mother. After that, he would just eat whatever he could find, and it was still like that nowadays.

Sarah wasn't moving, waiting for him to say something, and he finally lifted his eyes back up to meet hers, waking up from his memory.

"Yeah, pancakes' good," he agreed with a nod, which got Sarah to smile in satisfaction. She pointed towards a chair, asking him to sit, and he did before she sat in front of him. They stayed silent while they served themselves and started eating awkwardly. Billy was looking at her with a strange expression and Sarah couldn't even lift her eyes up of her plate. After a very long moment, Billy rolled his eyes and dropped his fork on his plate with force.

"This is bullshit," he stated at the weird situation. Sarah finally looked at him and placed her own fork down gently.

"Sorry, I'm not a very good cook," she apologized in a small voice. Billy stared at her in disbelief and leaned forward to face her.

"I ain't talkin' about the pancakes, Sarah," he replied, trying to control his voice, but it was clear he was getting irritated.

Of course she knew he wasn't talking about the food, but she had somehow wished he did. They wouldn't have to talk about this if it had been the case.

"Then what are you talking about?" she asked in a louder voice.

"You. Why are you acting all… like this?" he tried to explain, but failed miserably as Sarah raised an eyebrow.

Sarah sighed and leaned back to stare at him from further. He seemed tired even if he had slept for ten hours. He looked stressed, angry, but mostly he looked scared.

"How am I acting? I'm just eating, Billy."

Billy's jaw clenched as he stared at her from across the table. He didn't know if she really didn't understand what he meant or if she was just playing with him. She was hard to figure out.

"You're scared," he concluded after a moment when he realized it was, unfortunately, obvious that that's what it was. She was scared of him now, for some reason he couldn't understand. She had never been scared of him before.

"I'm not-"

"Yeah, you are."

Sarah sighed in desperation and stood up from her chair, clearly in the process of leaving.

"Oh, hell no, you're not fucking leavin'," he ordered, standing up as well. Sarah ignored him and took her half-empty plate, heading for the sink. She passed by him and he blocked her way.

"Billy, I'm tired of fighting with you," she sighed.

"Yeah, well me too, pretty. So stop fucking fighting with me," he spat harder than he had intended. He took the plate from her hand and placed it on the table next to him while she sighed again.

"Well, If you weren't being a dick all the time, maybe I wouldn't have to," she replied, raising her hands in the air in a exasperate manner.

Billy shook his head, obviously disagreeing with her statement. He licked his lips quickly, trying not to explode in her face, which was soon to be happening if they continued arguing like they always did. Sarah noticed his attitude and got the message immediately.

"Maybe this is just wrong," she said, speaking calmly. She was once again trying to explain something without looking at him, and that rarely worked. She stared at his chest, afraid to see his reaction.

"What do you mean?" he asked in a low voice as well, but his wasn't shaking like hers.

"I don't even know why I'm with you," she explained, and she could see Billy's figure stiff as she talked. He clenched his teeth, trying to stay calm as much as he could, but it was only a matter of time before hell broke loose. "All you ever do is hurt me."

"I don't do it on purpose," he defended in a low voice, though she could tell he wasn't as calm as he pretended to be.

"That's not the point," she replied, looking up at him. Billy's eyes were piercing through her but he didn't seem angry anymore. "You lied. You said you wouldn't hurt me, but you did, Billy, and I'm tired of always trying to justify what you do when it has bad repercussions on me," she explained again, holding his stare for the first time since the night before. Somehow it was getting harder every time.

"I like you, alright? But maybe that's just not enough," she concluded.

"Or maybe you just don't like me enough," he corrected sternly, breathing deeply as he watched her try to break whatever thing they might have found between them. He didn't understand why it upset him so much to see all this fall apart, but he sure as hell didn't like it. "Maybe you took the whole Megan shit as an excuse to bail on me 'cause you realized this ain't what you want and you was too scared to admit it."

"This _is_ what I wanted! As stupid as it might be, I actually wanted to be with you, Billy!" Sarah exclaimed, raising her hands in the air once again. She laughed sadly, realizing she was saying what she felt to Billy's face and she didn't even know if she was ready for it. "I rejected you that night because I was scared you would run off when you saw my scars. I heard you slept around and that you could get any girl that you wanted, so I knew you wouldn't waste your time on me," she continued as he listened carefully.

"That's bullshit," he repeated.

"That's how I feel," Sarah replied, truly hurt that he would say such thing after she explained herself to him.

"No, I mean," Billy tried to defend with a sigh, once again saying something the wrong way. "I ain't wasting my time when I'm with you," he corrected in a serious tone.

"Don't say things you don't mean," was all she could say, unable to believe he could be so honest and nice all of a sudden.

"I'm not. Sarah, I don't give a shit about your scars! You look beautiful with or without 'em, so stop," he announced, and Sarah could hardly believe what he had just said.

Beautiful? Had Billy just really said that? The word seemed so weird in his mouth, but somehow it felt just right to be hearing it from him.

"Stop hiding yourself thinkin' people'll stop talkin' to you 'cause you're different, that's bullshit. It'll _all_ about being different. And that's what I like 'bout you."

Silence overtook them after saying so many things they had been too scared to admit. Billy was horrified at himself for being too honest and actually saying something nice, being all touchy and emotional. Ugh, just the thought of it made him cringe. But when he saw the little light that it created in Sarah' eyes, he almost forgot about it. Sarah had those eyes, a normal colour that usually went unnoticed, but they said everything. You could see everything she was feeling just by looking at them. And right now, she was confused, but somewhat happy as well.

"You really don't mind it?" she asked shyly, once again looking down at his chest.

"No," he confirmed in a tone that left no room for discussion. Sarah lifted her eyes up to him and he nodded towards her, making sure she had gotten what he said. She nodded to tell him she did and he seemed satisfied. "I kinda like it, actually," he added in a small voice Sarah had never heard him use. She raised an eyebrow at him and couldn't help but crack a smile.

"What?"

"I don't know, it's kinda sexy. Like you're a tough girl or somethin'," he explained, though he didn't seem sure himself what he was talking about. Sarah chuckled and shook her head as she watched him be uncomfortable, feeling like she was giving him a payback, since he always made _her_ uncomfortable.

"I _am_ a tough girl," she agreed, and Billy smirked.

"That right?"

Sarah nodded with a smile as Billy raised an eyebrow, still smirking. They both chuckled and didn't say anything, not knowing what to do next. After all this, they didn't even know what they _could_ do.

"So, what do we do now?" Sarah asked after a moment where they had more serious again.

"I know what _I_ wanna do," Billy stated, smiling slyly towards her. Sarah watched his face as he took one last step towards her and brought his lips to hers, explaining what he had meant without having to use any words.

They kissed for a short time before Billy was already pulling up her shirt, pushing her backwards towards the nearest place where they could lie down, which this time happened to be the couch.

And the whole time, Sarah wasn't thinking of anything again. All she could think of was Billy, Billy's chest, Billy's hands, Billy's voice, Billy's kisses, oh and Billy's underwear… But what she should have been thinking is that when you're making a mistake, it sometimes gets hard to go back and pick the right decisions instead of the bad ones. But it's even harder when you don't know you're making a mistake, and you keep repeating it over and over again.

And this was, somehow, a very big mistake.

[…]

"Dude, this shit is good."

Sarah turned to Emily with a grin and took her milkshake from her friend's hand. They had been shopping for the most part of the day, had went back to Emily's place, and were now walking around the neighborhood - which wasn't the best idea they had ever had, but they had nothing else to do.

"Like you've never tasted a milkshake before," Sarah commented, taking a sip of the drink by the straw.

"Not strawberry! I always take chocolate," she explained, and Sarah shook her head, laughing.

"You learn so much when you hang out with me," she laughed before Emily playfully hit her on the shoulder.

"Hey, careful, I've been shot, remember?" she joked towards her friend who rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, keep saying that," she said, getting Sarah to laugh. "When you get this arm free, I'll kick your ass so hard you're gonna wish you got shot in both arms," she warned with a hard face, but it was clear she was joking and Sarah laughed harder.

"Please, I could beat you on a wheelchair," she challenged, waving her milkshake towards Emily with the little ghetto attitude she had.

"Oh, you ghetto now?" Emily laughed when she noticed the gesture. The two girls both laughed as they reached the end of the street and ended up facing a very familiar bar. Their smile fell off of their faces and they turned to each other in hesitation.

"You want to go back?" Sarah asked her friend in hesitation, also wondering if she, herself, wanted to go back to Emily's place right away. Night was falling and she wasn't sure if she was comfortable staying out in this part of town.

"Nah, it's just the Roses, it's not like I haven't spent all my fucking time here," Emily joked, but there was a very small quantity of amusement in her voice and Sarah didn't fail to notice it. The brown haired girl took the milkshake from her friend's hand and started playing with the straw absently.

"Listen, Em, I gotta tell you something," she started, biting on her lip. Emily turned to her with a raised eyebrow and a clear worried look on her face. Sarah had the same look David had had when he had come home one day and had tried explaining to their dad that he had had a little problem with the car (the front was ripped after he had driven directly in a pole) aka the face you did when you were about to admit some nasty shit.

"What have you done again?" Emily worried, taking a sip of the milkshake.

"I hooked up with Billy."

Emily coughed, spitting the liquid on the floor as she heard the shocking news. She didn't speak, and instead just raised her head to meet Sarah's eyes, her own being wide opened in disbelief. Sarah tried to smile but Emily's burning stare was too hard, so she just dropped it and jumped to explanations.

"I didn't mean it to happen, ok? But he just broke into my house and he just… I could tell he felt bad, and he apologized for what he did, and, and he told me he cared for me, Em, and I _really_ didn't want it to happen, but he was being all mysterious, and he was saying all these things, and… and then he took off his shirt, what was I supposed to do?" she ranted, trying to justify her actions while Emily just stared at her in disbelief.

"So you fucked him?" Emily spoke for the first time.

"Yes."

"How many times?" Emily asked again, clearly trying to control her emotions, but it was obvious she was boiling inside. Sarah hesitated and passed a nervous and through her hair.

"Five. We had sex five times," she confessed, breathing with difficulty. Emily's jaw dropped in shock.

"Five times? How-What-How the hell did you manage to do that? Did you like, fuck non-stop the whole night long or what?" she exclaimed, unable to believe two people could have sex five times during the same night.

"No! We-He stayed for the weekend," Sarah explained. Emily raised an eyebrow, stating she couldn't understand how that could happen with Sarah's parents in the house. "My parents were gone for three days and he just… he would stay with me whenever he had a free time. When he wasn't working and stuff."

"Billy? Billy Darley?" Emily asked, more speaking to herself than to Sarah.

"Yeah, Billy. Wasn't it you who told me I should get with him or something?" she tried, waving a hand in the hair.

"That was before all the shit, Sarah. Before the Joe thing, the Megan thing and the shooting thing," Emily spat before she let go of a deep sigh. "Jesus, Sarah."

"I know its wrong… but it's so right…"

Emily shook her head in disappointment, and Sarah tried to smile once again, this time succeeding. The other rolled her eyes and dropped the milkshake in a garbage can near where they were standing.

"What about my brother?" Emily asked after she had turned back to Sarah.

"I don't know, Em, I really have no idea what I'm gonna do right now. I mean, David's such a nice guy, maybe he just deserves better than a girl like me," she spoke, looking at her feet. She could hardly look at herself in the mirror knowing what she had done; she could even less see herself talking to David. She knew maybe the best thing to do was to break up with him because after all that, he wouldn't even want to be with her anyway. But on the other hand, maybe it wasn't worth it to end something that was so right for something that was so wrong. Maybe her thing with Billy wouldn't even last.

"What'd Billy say?" Emily asked again. She didn't want to expose her opinion before she knew everything there was to know about the situation.

"That's the thing," Sarah started with a sigh. "He asked me to come to the bar next week… all the guys will be there."

"You ready for that?"

After all, she hadn't seen any of them expect for Joe and Billy since the shooting, and she didn't know how she would react to it. It would probably be awkward and Sarah didn't think she really wanted to go.

"Don't know," was all she said, looking around to the dark streets. "I want you to come with me," she added in the same tone, turning to Emily. The other scoffed and shook her head.

"No fucking way."

"Aw, come on, you can't let me go there alone!" Sarah exclaimed, waving her available hand in the air once again.

"The hell I can't! I dumped Tommy, remember? Because he shot you! Maybe you like playing this game, but I don't!" Emily defended, raising her voice towards her friend.

"Oh, please! You started playing this game the second you stepped foot into their lives! Don't tell me you just learned who they were, you knew it perfectly well and you were fucking fine with it, so don't start bullshiting about doing the right thing!" Sarah spat right back, also speaking rather loudly. Emily shook her head and breathed deeply, trying to control her anger. Sarah sighed and scrubbed her face with her hand.

"Please, Emily, I know you miss him. Just talk to him, it doesn't mean you have to get back together," Sarah pleaded in a softer voice, which also soften Emily's features. She sighed as well and shook her head in disappointment at what she was going to say.

"Fine, I'll come with you," she agreed in a small voice. Sarah's eyes immediately lightened up and she smiled widely at her friend.

"Really? Aw, Em, you're the best!" she complimented, embracing her in a tight hug. Emily hugged her back but soon stepped away, still not looking very pleased.

"Yeah, whatever."

Sarah chuckled, but she jumped when she heard the familiar rumble of a car. She turned to Emily whose eyes had widened in surprise.

Sarah hadn't planned on seeing Billy so shortly after spending the weekend with him and Emily sure as hell wasn't ready to face her ex-boyfriend, so they both agreed on the same thing just by looking at each other.

"Let's get the fuck outta here."

Sarah nodded and they both turned around to start walking towards Emily's apartment.

[…]

"Hey man, isn't that Sarah?" Bodie asked his leader from the passenger's seat of his mustang. Billy turned to his friend with a raised eyebrow and the black man pointed to his window. "Right there, across the street."

Billy lowered his head and his eyes landed on the girl's thin figure as she walked quickly with someone else, Emily as it seemed. He lowered his speed and watched them jog away, biting in his half-smoked cigarette.

"Told her not to fuckin' walk alone in those streets," he mumbled, getting his cigarette to dance between his lips. Bodie chuckled and turned back to Billy.

"You know that girl never listens t'what ya say," he commented with a smirk, and Billy just sent him a death glare before going back to the road. He watched the two other boys in the back of the car in the rear-view mirror and his eyes landed on one who was deeply looking out the window with a sad face. Bodie followed his gaze and he turned around to speak to Tommy.

"Chill, man. You'll get ya girl back," he promised his friend with a nod. Tommy locked eyes with Bodie and shook his head.

"I donno man. She got a boyfriend," Tommy spoke in a low voice, looking out the window again.

"No she doesn't," Billy disagreed without looking at any of them. They both turned to him with wondering expressions.

"How d'ya know that?" Tommy asked, getting interested.

"Personal sources," was all Billy said, and Tommy and Bodie locked eyes with a raised eyebrow before a light seemed to open in their mind. They both smirked and turned back to Billy.

"Personal sources, huh?" Bodie teased, hitting playfully the driver. It was Billy's turn to smirk and he glanced at his right hand, giving him a knowing look. "Oh, you didn't."

Billy's smirk grew wider as he also glanced at Tommy from the rear-view mirror once again while the other nodded in agreement.

"Didn't what?" Baggy asked, having only followed half of the conversation. Bodie laughed as Tommy tried to give Baggy clear explanations by making some rather rude movements with his arms. Baggy raised an eyebrow and shook his head. "The fuck you talkin' 'bout?"

"Damn it, Baggy," Tommy sighed as he dropped any attempt of getting him to understand this way. "Billy finally set the deal, bro."

"What deal?" Baggy asked, still not getting anything.

"You're one dumb motherfucker, man," Bodie commented, shaking his head from left to right. Billy chuckled as Tommy laughed and the car finally parked in the bar's parking lot.

"Now I've got some deals to set tonight as well," Bodie added as he got of the car. The guys laughed and walked towards to front door, ready to celebrate the news.

And that's how you do business.

**Thanks for reading! Leave a review =)**


	15. The Roses

**Hey there!**

**Like I said last time, this chapter is a little late, sorry about that.**

**I'm getting busy with school so I'm probably not going to be able to post a chapter every week like I used to, but I'll definitely post as soon as I can, don't worry!**

**Thanks for everyone who reviews, it really means a lot to me, and please review this chapter as well =)**

**I hope you like it!**

"I swear, man, I don't know nothin'!"

Billy stared at the man sitting in front of him and held on to his gun harder, trying not to raise it up and shoot that guy in the face. He had had a shitty day, being around his corners without taking a break at any time, making sure all his boys were doing their jobs. He had himself spent a couple of hours under the bridge where he usually made a lot of sells, but not many people had showed up today and that was usually a sign that something was up.

It was only later that Baggy had called him to inform him some dude was hanging around his selling place looking suspicious and he had the feeling he was there to steal his costumers.

That sounded like bad news.

"Yeah? So you don't know anything 'bout those pills we found on you, you fuck?" Bodie spoke, standing behind his leader, also holding a gun in his hands.

The man swallowed hardly, trying to find something to say that would get him out of this mess. He was sitting on a very uncomfortable chair in a room only half-lit, but he could tell the walls were dirty and covered in scary drawings. He didn't know how he had gotten there, only that some guys had jumped him in an alley and he had woken up in front of this crazy ass guy pointing a gun at his face and threatening to shoot him every five seconds. The air was cold and every word spoken echoed in the room and the hallway he could see through the open door.

"They're mine, dude, I bought them," he defended in a shaking voice, trying to sound confident, but it wasn't working very well and the way his wide opened eyes scanned the room rapidly betrayed how scared he was.

"Who d'you buy 'em from?" Billy demanded to know in a very calm voice, breathing loudly.

"A guy, said his name was Peter... no, Patrick! Yeah, he said his name was Patrick," he answered as quickly as he could; afraid the very tall tattooed man standing in front of him might get impatient.

"And what's _your_ name?" Billy asked again, leaning forward so he could be closer to the other guy's face. He was speaking very slowly, like he was talking to a child, but it showed in his eyes he was dead serious and he really wasn't playing.

"Ben."

"Well, Ben, what'd this Patrick guy say when you talked to him?" he wondered, staring directly in Ben's eyes.

"He didn't talk much. He said it was a good deal, that I wouldn't get a better one anywhere," Ben said, sitting further in his chair to back away from Billy a little bit.

"Motherfucker," Billy mumbled under his breath. Ben stopped talking, thinking maybe he had said something wrong, but Billy just sighed. "Did he say who he was workin' for?"

"No. But he had some green scarf under his cap. He had a bunch of green stuff on him. Thought maybe that was important," Ben explained, waving at his head to show what he meant. Billy nodded and leaned back, turning to Bodie.

"B-Street," the black man spoke quietly so that only Billy could hear it. Billy nodded again, confirming what he was thinking. "What we gonna do?"

"We gonna make sure these fuckers stay outta my turf and understand not to mess with me, that's what we gonna do," Billy told his friend, speaking low as well, but his voice was strong and he was fighting not to get really irritated. Bodie nodded and the two men turned to Ben who was still sitting on his chair, looking back and forth between the two, wondering what was going to happen to him.

"What should we do with him?" Bodie asked Billy, loud enough for Ben to hear it, still looking at him. Billy shrugged and turned his head to Bodie.

"I dunno. Ya think he's a threat?"

Bodie turned his head to Billy and shrugged as well.

"I dunno."

"I'm not!" Ben exclaimed, getting panicked again. "Come on, man, I ain't gonna tell anything. I ain't part of no gang, I'm just a normal guy, trying to keep straight, man, I got a family."

"Keep straight, huh?" Bodie laughed. He took out a small bag full of white and yellows pills and waved it in Ben's face. "That what you call keeping straight? If you got a family, why don't ya go to them instead of fucking around, 'man'?"

Ben glanced at the plastic bag before looking back at Bodie who didn't seem amused at all. He had a hard face and was clearly waiting for him to give him a sign he had understood, so Ben nodded vividly to show him he had gotten everything. Bodie placed the bag back in his pocket and walked out of the room, taking big and quick steps towards the exit.

Ben and Billy were now left alone in the dark room, staring at each other, one in complete horror, and the other in a very considerable anger. Ben was starting to feel like he might get out of this alive, but that didn't mean he wasn't scared shitless of the guy standing in front of him, and that wasn't soon to be happening with the last thing that guy said to him.

"If I ever see your face again, I'll kill you."

[...]

"Kill me right now."

Emily turned to Sarah and shook her head, exasperated at her best friend. The blond girl held on to the steering wheel harder and continued to stare blankly at the front door of the bar she was supposed to pass through in order to meet with a bunch of guys she hadn't seen in weeks, and last time she did, had managed to get her shot. She didn't even know why she had accepted to come here anymore and she definitely didn't feel ready to have a chat with all of them, especially the leader. She couldn't even understand what had happened the weekend before yet, it was just unreal.

"If you keep acting like a child, I might," Emily commented, placing her elbow on the door next to her to support her head while she watched her best friend freak out. Sarah turned her head towards the brown haired girl and blinked repetitively dramatically.

"Do it now," she pleaded, and Emily rolled her eyes.

"You're being ridiculous," she stated, placing her feet on the dashboard of the car.

"Ridiculous? Emily, do you realise what this is going to be? Me- Us! With them, spending the whole night together, at the bar," Sarah exclaimed, looking between the door and Emily as she talked.

"Yeah, I know. But I don't understand why you're so freaked out about it. We've been doing this for months now. Ok, stuff happened, bad stuff, but the whole point of tonight is to get over it, isn't it?" Emily explained, staring right into Sarah's eyes the whole time. Sarah didn't answer anything, not wanting to agree with Emily who acted like it was no big deal, when a couple of days ago she couldn't stop complaining about it. "Things'll be fine if you chill and use those long legs of yours to walk in that bar and kick some ass."

Sarah kept staring at Emily, but she couldn't help but crack a smile at her friend's words. She was right, tonight was supposed to make it okay, to try and get back to what they had been before: just a bunch of people hanging out and having fun. She knew too many things had happened to come back to where they had been, but she still wanted to believe it was possible to get over all the shit and move on.

"And we both know you can't wait to see Billy's dick again, so we better get in there before he gets angry," Emily added with a wink, getting Sarah to open her mouth in shock, though she was clearly smiling at the same time.

"Emily! Don't say these things!" Sarah couldn't help but shout. She didn't especially like to hear Emily talk about her sex life, even less when she had to mention Billy's private parts. Talk about awkward. "You want me to start talking about Tommy's dick?"

"I'm not with Tommy anymore," Emily pointed out.

"I'm not with Billy," Sarah commented, raising her hands in the air to emphasize her point.

"...yet," Emily added with a smirk.

Sarah rolled her eyes and proceeded in getting out of the car, taking slow steps towards the front door. She stopped a couple of meters away from it and shook her head, stating she really didn't want to go.

"What did Billy say he'd do if you didn't show up again?" Emily asked, getting Sarah to turn her head towards her as she reached her side.

"He said he'd kidnap me and force me to watch Heco's sex tapes until my eyes bled," Sarah reminded her with a frown. Emily gave her a knowing look and Sarah bit on her lip nervously.

"And we don't want that, do we?" Emily concluded, placing a hand on Sarah's shoulder.

"I guess not," Sarah agreed, which got Emily to nod.

"Then get in there," she ordered in hard tone, and Sarah had no choice but to oblige.

[...]

"Where the fuck is she?" Billy mumbled to himself, glancing at the door once again, trying to ignore the fact he was inevitably waiting for her. He felt like he wouldn't chill until she got there.

After leaving the office and surprisingly letting that fucker go even though he had intended to kill him, thinking he was a seller trying to steal his money, the only thing he could concentrate on was the fact Sarah was coming to the bar and he didn't know how things would turn out. He didn't know if she was going to freak out when she saw the guys again, but since she hadn't really when she had seen _him_, he guessed it couldn't be that bad. But he was having an overall very bad day he had hoped that somehow her presence would make it better, but if she didn't show up, there was no way it was happening.

"Who?" Heco asked, playing with the bottle of his empty beer, sitting next to Billy.

"Sarah," Bodie answered for his friend from across the table with an amused expression. Billy shot a death glare at his friend, but Bodie ignored it.

"Oh right, she's comin' tonight!" Heco remembered, his eyes widening a little bit. "Fuck, what am I gonna tell her?" he asked himself, staring at his beer, though Bodie and Billy were still looking at him.

"Don't tell her shit, that's an idea," Billy proposed in a hard tone, placing his also now empty beer on the table hardly. He glanced at the front door again, then at the bar, wondering why the hell he didn't have a new beer in front of him yet.

"What's wrong, dawg?" Bodie wondered, taking a sip of his beer with a raised eyebrow. Billy locked eyes with him but didn't say anything and sighed in impatience, needing to drink but not being able to.

Megan finally erupted from the sea of people on the bar and placed a tray full of new beer on the table before emptying it in front of every guy.

"What took you so long?" Billy spat at her, roughly taking a beer from her hand. Megan froze a second, something she always did when he spoke harshly at her. Even though it happened a lot, she still never knew how to react, and she just tried to make herself as small as possible until he calmed down.

"I'm sorry, it's a busy night," she explained in a tiny voice, placing the remaining beers on the table before turning away with the empty tray in her hands. Billy watched her walk away and sighed again, knowing he had scared her again. As much as he loved scaring people off, he didn't like when that happened with the girls he was with. They were supposed to run _to_ him, not _away_ from him.

He stood up from his chair, beer in hand, and took small steps towards the pool table.

"Joe!" he shouted at his little brother who was flirting with some redheaded chick instead of playing darts like he had said he would be doing when he had left the table half an hour ago.

"What?" Joe asked, turning away from the girl who seemed to be annoyed that he wasn't paying attention to her anymore.

Billy waved towards the pool table and continued walking, knowing his brother would follow him. It may have looked like a proposition, but it was really an order, and Joe knew better than to pick a broad over his overstressed brother.

"Just a minute, ok?" Joe answered, pointing at the girl. Billy clenched his jaw, clearly getting irritated that his brother didn't come right away, but he just nodded and drank half of his beer in one sip, waiting for Joe to join him.

He leaned on the pool table, looking blankly at the wall as he took small sips of his beer robotically.

"Hey, you alright?"

Billy was taken out of his trance by a small voice next to him. He turned his head to Megan who was taking hesitant steps towards him. She finally reached him and positioned herself right in front of him, placing her hands on his chest to play with his shirt.

"You've been acting weird lately..." she commented, staring at her fingers.

"Got a lot on my mind," he explained with a shrug. Megan raised her eyes to meet his and dropped her hands down her body.

"I could help you relax, you know," she said, smirking. Billy didn't react, so to explain what she meant, she raised her head to start kissing his neck, her hands going back up his chest, but this time, under his shirt.

Billy shivered at her cold hands on his bare skin and let her do her thing for a second, appreciating the feeling of her small body on his. Her hands were now going back down his chest and went for his pants as she continued kissing his neck. He let her feel him on his jeans, but when she went for his belt, he grabbed her wrist and held her arms higher, stopping her from what she was about to do.

She backed away from him as he let go of her wrist and she stared at him, confused and somewhat hurt at his attitude.

"What's wrong with you, Billy?" she asked, her hands still raised in the air the way he had placed them. Billy passed a hand on his head and sighed, standing up from the table to grab his beer and take a sip.

She watched him walk around the table, acting like nothing had happened, clearly upset.

"Why are you acting like this? You've refused me all week, is there something I did wrong?" she continued asking, and Billy just glanced in her direction, refusing to answer. "What, I'm not good enough for you now? You're tired of me, is that it?"

"I didn't say that," Billy said, finally looking at her from across the table.

"Then why do you act like you don't want me anymore?" she wondered, dropping her hands down her body, waiting for him to say something to make it all okay. She wished that for once, he would say how he truly felt for her. But he never really talked to her, and that was always something she loathed of their relationship. All he wanted was a fuck friend, but she wanted more than that.

"I'm just tired, Megan, ok?" he snapped, raising his hands in the air as he talked. "I don't feel like fooling around all the fuckin' time, can't ya get that? Even less in the middle of the bar with your brother right next to us."

Megan didn't move, and they just stared at each other for a minute, him being annoyed, and her visibly hurt.

"Fine, I'll leave you more space, you happy?" she spat hardly, though there was still some hesitation in her voice since she wasn't used to talking like this to him.

Billy shrugged, stating he didn't really give a fuck, and Megan rolled her eyes before walking out of the small room to get back to work. It's when her body finally left his view that his eyes fell right into someone else's, someone he had been impatient to see and was now there without him having noticed it.

Sarah looked away from him and took a last step towards the table where most of the guys sat. They hadn't seen her until she had erupted from all the people standing in the bar and had landed next to them, silence taking over everyone. Emily appeared next to her and the silence grew heavier, nobody really knowing what to say.

"Sarah!" someone shouted from somewhere to the left, and both girls turned their head towards Joe who was now walking towards them. He finally reached her side and embraced her in a hug, smiling widely, being probably the only one not feeling the awkwardness in the room. She smiled back at him and he finally pulled away and glanced at her sling, trying not to show it, but Sarah saw it and looked at it as well, and since everybody was looking at them, they did too. "I'm happy you came."

"I didn't really have a choice," Sarah replied, glancing at Billy who was still watching her from the pool table a couple of meters away. He nodded in her direction as a salutation and she hesitated a second before nodding back.

She turned back to the guys and tried to smile.

"Hey guys."

They all said hi, some by just nodding and others with words, but it was still very awkward and no one really knew what to do. Finally, Bodie stood up from the booth and walked towards her to give her a hug. Sarah was taken aback, since Bodie had never given her a hug before. They would hit each other or share a stupid handshake, but they never got to the point where they could hold each other, but somehow Sarah liked it. He backed away from her, keeping a very serious face.

"I'm sorry, Sarah," he apologized, staying very close to her. She lifted her head back up to meet his eyes and saw how bad he truly felt. "We all are," he added, waving towards the guys behind him.

She glanced at the men and they all nodded, agreeing with what Bodie had said. Tommy, who was sitting further in the booth, managed to stand up as well and walked towards her.

"Yeah, I-I wouldn't have done that if I knew it was you, you know that, right?" he told her, keeping a fair distance between them, afraid she might not want to be near him. "Fuck," he sighed, staring at her arm.

For the past week, Tommy had been eating himself up about being the one who shot at Sarah. They were both pretty close since they used to hang out together a lot because of Emily, and he had grown to like her, and they had become friends. It's not because you're in a gang that you don't mind hurting those you care about, and he sure minded that because of him his girlfriend's friend had almost died, leading to him feeling like shit and being single.

"It's okay, Tommy, I know," Sarah told him in the sweetest voice she could find, making sure he understood she had forgiven him. Well, she had forgiven him for shooting at her, but not for shooting at someone. It was the act she couldn't get over, not the fact she had been at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Tommy nodded slowly, though he still had a clear frown on his face created by all the guilt he was feeling. He finally took a last step towards her and was the third guy to give her a hug, which was the one she greeted the most, because unlike with Bodie, she had usually hugged Tommy when they hung out, and he was the one she wanted to talk to the most. When he finally pulled back, his eyes landed on Emily who had been watching the scene from a distance, not wanting to interfere. They locked eyes for a minute and it was clearly visible they were both extremely uncomfortable, but at the same time still missing each other and wanting to forget about everything and restart. But things aren't that easy, and instead of jumping in each others' arms, they just exchanged salutations.

"Hey," Emily said in almost a whisper, not finding her voice.

"Hey," Tommy repeated in the same voice. Sarah watched them, knowing there were tons of other things they wanted to say, but they couldn't find the words to express themselves. She turned back to Bodie who was now taking his seat back in the booth with the other guys. She scanned them all, starting by Baggy at the right end of the table, followed by Heco, then Jamie, after him was Dog and then an empty place where Tommy had sat, and Spink, sitting next to Bodie on the left end of the table. Joe wasn't next to her anymore; he had gone to play pool with his brother who still hadn't said anything to her. She watched the two brothers play one after the other, still not believing she was actually there, but somewhat happy because of this feeling things were getting back to normal.

However, she thought, this is not what most people qualified as normal.

The guys finally all sat and moved to leave room for Sarah and Emily. Sarah sat next to Bodie and Emily in front of her, next to Tommy. She wasn't sure if she liked it or not until his leg touched hers and she felt a shiver run down her spine. That's when she knew she definitely liked it.

Everybody went back to what they had been doing before the girls arrived, making sure to include them in the conversation, but mostly Sarah, and being very nice to her because Billy had ordered them to, but also because they, somehow, had missed her too. And Heco, just like Billy had asked him to, didn't really speak to Sarah at all.

Bodie tossed a new beer towards Sarah as Emily took one for herself, and both girls opened them at the same time to take a first sip. 

"Thanks," Sarah said to Bodie and he smiled as an answer.

"Good to have ya back," Bodie said, still smiling, and the young girl couldn't help but smile back.

"It's good to be back," she agreed, taking another sip of her beer, and Bodie raised his to have a toast.

"I'll drink to that," he joked, and Sarah chuckled while she raised her own beer. Everybody else saw their gesture and they all joined to toast as well.

After everyone drank, Sarah looked again at the pool table where Billy and Joe were playing. Both of them kept glancing at her while the other played without any of them noticing and she soon felt like things weren't as back to normal as she would have wished. Billy soon won over his brother who came back to the table looking pissed, and Sarah understood it was because they had been betting money when she saw Billy place some bills in his wallet before putting it back in his pocket.

Billy turned to her once again and they locked eyes for a couple of seconds before he waved her to join him. She raised an eyebrow and pointed at herself to make sure he was talking to her and he nodded before waving again. She proceeded in standing up, and when he saw it, he turned back to the table to place the balls and start a new game.

She reached the pool table and stood a couple of meters away from him as he positioned the balls in a triangle before walking around it and placing the white ball in front of the others. He glanced at her and waved her to come closer, and she did while he leaned over the table to take a shot and break. Standing next to him, she waited until he finally turned to her, and without saying anything, grabbed her waist to position her between the table and him, her back facing him. He placed his head on her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Hi," he whispered in her ear, and Sarah shivered as she felt his breathing on her neck. He smirked, knowing what effect he had on her, and while he held her tighter against him, she could only let herself smile.

"Hey," she managed to say, trying to control her breathing, but their proximity made it very hard.

Billy didn't fail to notice it and smirked even more, giving her the pool stick. She took it hesitantly and turned to head to look at him, wondering why he had given it to her.

"Wanna play?" he proposed with a shrug. Sarah turned her head towards the balls and frowned.

"I suck at pool," she admitted, getting Billy to chuckle, which got her to shiver again.

"I'll help ya," he promised, placing her hands at the right places on the stick to help her make a shot. She let herself be directed and finally bent over the table to position herself correctly as Billy did the same, their bodies touching so much is was almost a turn on.

No wait, it _was_ a turn on.

Billy was definitely enjoying himself and he realised, horrified, that he had missed feeling her against him. He rarely missed people, for one because he didn't give a shit about most people he hung out with, but also because he was too busy to do so. His usual day resumed in waking up feeling groggy and heavy from whatever he might have done the previous night, then checking on the office to make sure they had everything they needed before giving every guy his corner and going to his own, and then he would finish the night with someone, or alone, drinking and smoking more then someone ever should. And then he woke up again.

He was so busy it bored him to death.

But sometimes there were those nights when something unusual happened that made it seem like it wasn't always the same. When he was younger, it had been about trying to end up in a fight, to show in any way possible that he was stronger than everybody else, try to find some respect among those who surrounded him. When he grew up, it was just about appreciating his higher stature above all who looked up to him, but he soon got tired of it and needed something else. And for a while, it had been about Sarah and Emily spending time with them on the week end. It was the first time he ever considered starting a friendship with a girl, and he felt free to talk about anything without having to seduce her in order to have her in his bed. They were just hanging out, and he liked that.

But then with all the shit that went down, he didn't have that anymore and he was back to a routine, always including different people, all of them leaving the exact same impression on him: indifference.

Sarah finally hit the ball, but even with Billy's help, she didn't succeed in making it fall in the hoop. It also didn't help she still couldn't use her left arm and she wasn't even able to hold the stick properly. They both leaned back in the same movement and Billy shook his head.

"You _do_ suck," he confirmed with a smirk, and Sarah turned to him with a hard stare.

"Shut up, I was distracted," she justified, giving him the stick back. He grabbed it from her hands and leaned on it, still smirking.

"By what?"

Sarah scoffed, the both of them knowing exactly what she had been distracted by. Billy walked around the table to find the right spot to hit again while Sarah followed him with her eyes.

"By this," she said, pointing to some place further in the bar. Billy turned his head to look at what she was talking about and he instinctively scowled. Near the guy's table, a couple of meters away from the bathrooms, Joe was in a very passionate make out session with the redheaded chick from earlier.

"Can't believe he's gonna hit that girl. She ain't even a good lay," Billy commented, still watching the two, forgetting for a second Sarah was listening to him. When he realised it, he turned to her, noticing she was now staring at him as well instead of looking at Joe.

"She's pretty," Sarah added, not leaving his eyes, finishing the comment for him, whether he liked it or not. She didn't fail to notice what Billy said had meant: of course he would know what kind of a lay she was.

"Not as much as you are," Billy tried. That wasn't the kind of stuff he usually said, and just hearing himself talk felt like it wasn't even him expressing himself, but it was actually what he thought. Not only was he trying to step up his game after saying that stupid comment, he also felt like he should talk about how she looked that night. It seemed like she had made a considerable effort in picking up clothes, wearing for the first time a shirt that showed a little cleavage, and she even wore small heeled boots, making her a little taller.

Billy eyed her up and down again and grinned, while she walked away from him to position herself on the other side of the table.

"I didn't do it for you," she told him, grabbing her beer that had been waiting for her on the corner of the table. She took a sip of it as he smirked, shaking his head.

"Course not."

Sarah chuckled and took a couple steps back, leaning on the wall behind her as she watched him play. She tried to acknowledge every detail of his movement, taking a mental picture of it. The way his muscles stiffened when he was about to shoot, how his eyes squinted in multiple directions to analyse every possibility, his face growing serious in concentration, like nothing in the world could distract him from what he was doing. She actually thought for a moment he had forgotten about her when he finally entered the last ball. He smiled to himself in satisfaction and finally looked in her direction again, leaning the stick on the wall next to him.

"Always so talented," she commented with a smile, forcing yet another grin on his face.

"Always so silent," he added, walking towards her. She bit on her lip as he got closer, wondering if she should escape him or let him trap her.

When he finally reached her and placed his arms on both side of her, palm resting on the wall, it was too late to decide.

"When can ya take off that shit?" he asked, nodding towards her sling. She looked down at it and then back at him.

"In two weeks," she informed him, and he nodded, looking back at her. They stayed silent for a moment and he finally brought his head closer to place his forehead on hers.

"I didn't think you'd come," he said, looking her straight in the eyes. She was used to hold his stare, but it was getting tricky being this close to him.

"I didn't think I would either," she admitted. "But then I thought I really didn't feel like seing Heco's ass, so I did."

Billy chuckled, followed by Sarah, and he shook his head.

"I wouldn't have made ya watch that. Nobody should have to watch that shit," he said, his face growing serious again as he reminisced a very traumatising experience.

"You did?" she asked.

Billy scowled and closed his eyes hardly.

"Tryin' to forget," he said, and Sarah couldn't help but laugh again. Billy shivered at the memory and looked back at Sarah, concentrating on her face instead.

"I missed the guys anyway. I wanted to see ya'll again."

Billy stared at her for a second before nodding. He was happy to know she had missed them, but he also couldn't understand why. After everything, he had figured maybe she was better off without them, but she was still there. Ok, he may have had pressured her come back when he broke into her house and spent the week end with her, but she still could have refused him.

Not that he wished she did.

When he didn't talk for a minute, she realised he wasn't going to say anything else, so she brought her face closer instead to reach his lips. It was the first time she was the one to initiate the kiss, and he sure wasn't about to complain.

Billy closed the remaining space between them my walking closer, deepening the kiss. Sarah had definitely missed feeling his soft lips on hers and the warmth it created in her heart when she was trapped in his arms.

Like nothing bad could happen.

"Hum-hum," someone cleared his throat, getting Billy and Sarah to stop kissing and turn to them.

Emily was standing a couple of meters away from them, somewhat afraid to take a step further. It was never good to interrupt Billy when he was with someone, that someone being your best friend or not. However, Sarah could only smile at Emily and managed to slide her way out of Billy's arms to face her friend.

"Hey, you ok?" Sarah worried; staring at Emily's stiffed body.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just wanted to let you know I'm headin' out," Emily announced, uncertain. Sarah raised an eyebrow, not understand how Emily could possibly go when it was her who brought her here, but she soon got her answer when she looked passed the brunette and her eyes landed on Tommy who was clearly waiting on Emily.

"He just wants to talk," Emily explained before she could say anything, almost as if she was asking her permission to go. Sarah nodded and smiled again at her friend in a comforting manner.

"It's ok, Em. I'm fine. I know you miss him, just go," she told her. Emily still seemed unsure and Sarah looked at Tommy once again to nod in his direction, silently telling him she didn't mind it, although she felt there was no need to ask her for anything. If they wanted to get back together, she couldn't stop it, and didn't want to stop it anyway. They could do whatever they wanted; she wouldn't be the one to interfere.

"This doesn't mean we're together again," Emily felt the need to say. "We'll just talk about it."

"I know. Come on, don't make him wait."

Emily gave Sarah a last smile before she walked away at Tommy's side. Sarah watched them pass through the front doors before disappearing in the parking, secretly wishing next time she'd see Emily, she wouldn't be single anymore.

As for _her_ love stories, it was more complicated. Billy acted like they were dating, but she knew they weren't. Megan was staring at her like she was picturing every way she could possibly use to kill her, barely looking at the clients when she served them. Joe had gone off to god-knows-where with the red head and David had texted her at least five times since the evening started.

She still hadn't had the guts to talk to him.

"You comin' to my place tonight?" Billy asked from over her shoulder, and Sarah jumped, not having heard him walk to her. She turned her head towards him and nodded.

"Sure," she accepted, and he grinned in satisfaction.

Billy pulled her back towards the table and forced her into playing another pool game, saying if she was spending time here again, she couldn't make a fool out of him by sucking this much.

She stayed very patient the whole night, and she was actually enjoying herself with Billy and all the guys. Her thoughts drifted in different directions as she watched him hit a ball and getting it straight in the hoop. That man, she thought, not matter how good she felt around him, would be the death of her. He had to be.

Little did she know she would be his, too.

**Thanks for reading, leave a review !**


	16. Home?

**Hello everyone! **

**Yes, I'm back! I am soooo sorry for not posting for weeks, but I was just really busy with school and I was lost for ideas, honestly. I have the whole story planned out, but sometimes I just can't get it out, and this was one of those times.**

**In the mean time I turned 18 and I got this brand new computer that I looove writing on, so it will probably help haha So now I'm not only an adult, but also a very professional looking writer :P (I'll keep telling myself that...)**

**Moving on, I hope you like this chapter even though it's late, it took me a while to write but I guess it's worth it because it's long, so it kind of makes up for it...**

**Anyways, leave me a review telling me how much of a horrible person I am, but mostly I'd like to know what you think XD Enjoy!**

'_Why is everything so bright?' _Sarah thought to herself as she brought the covers on her head, trying to block the morning light peeking through the curtains.

She could hardly understand why waking up in Billy's bed always sucked. For one, he never closed the curtains, which resulted in waking up under so much light it gave her a headache. Two, she was alone, and she was cold. The covers were nothing compared to Billy's warm skin, and although it was only the second time she slept at his place, she made a mental note not to do it anymore until he had 1) better curtains, and 2) better covers, or grant her with his presence, at least.

But she doubted that would happen.

Joe was standing in the kitchen, sipping on a way too hot coffee he couldn't even remember making, on a very considerable hang over and relatively pissed. He had come home about half an hour ago to find his brother heading out, saying something about Sarah being there before leaving without so much of an explanation. Joe was so fucked up he didn't react at first, but now that he had had some coffee and had relaxed a bit, he realised what that meant. Sarah had spent the night with his brother. Not with her boyfriend, not with him, with Billy. If there were times Joe hated his brother, this was one of those times.

"Why did I have to drink that much?" Joe mumbled to himself as he took another sip of coffee.

"Hey," a small voice said, and Joe turned around to face Sarah in the door frame of the kitchen.

She studied him up and down, acknowledging he was still wearing the exact same clothes he was wearing the night before, only this time, they seemed dirty. Joe also analysed her clothing and frowned when he saw she was wearing one of Billy's shirt and a pair of baggy pants way too big for her who must have been Billy's as well.

He nodded, looking back at his coffee, refusing to lock eyes with her. He was boiling inside and he refused to let it show.

Sarah realized he wasn't going to say anything to her, so she just took small steps towards the table to join him in the kitchen.

They stayed silent for a moment where Joe continued drinking his coffee while staring at the window and Sarah just looked around, wondering how people could live in such a boring place.

Everything was grey. The counters, the refrigerator, the walls, the floor. Even Joe was, somehow, a different shade of grey.

"There's coffee if ya want," Joe proposed, waving at the coffee machine on the nearest counter. She looked where he pointed even though there was no way she could miss it, Joe had been drinking some in front of her for the past three minutes.

"I don't drink coffee," she told him, still looking around.

"Oh."

There was another silence and Sarah was feeling maybe she should be getting dressed to leave pretty soon, but she honestly didn't know if she was expected to. She didn't know if Billy was coming back soon or if he'd only show up later at night, and she had no idea why Joe was still there even though it was a school day.

"We don't got nothin' else," he commented when she glanced at the fridge. She looked back at him and nodded.

"It's okay, I don't want anything," she lied, playing nervously with a towel that was left unclean on the table. Joe glanced at the towel before going back to Sarah's face. "Are you going to school today?" she wondered, even though it was already nine in the morning and classes started at eight.

"Yeah, I'll go for second period," he answered, still staring strangely at her. Sarah nodded once again. "But you'll be gone by then."

"What?"

Joe took another sip of coffee as if she hadn't said anything.

"This is the part where you leave," he explained, waving at the empty apartment. "He's gone, and you're supposed to be gone too when he comes back."

Sarah froze on her spot, wondering if Joe was kidding with her or if he was really serious. He seemed so calm, like telling her this was actually fun. He had a smile on his face, a small one, which got Sarah's heart to hurt for a moment.

"That's what they do... Billy's whores."

Joe's smile faded as he held Sarah's stare before he placed his now empty coffee mug on the table and started walking towards the bathroom. Sarah's eyes closed as she heard him slam the door shut, trying to control her emotions. She heard the shower running as a single tear slid down her cheek.

Joe was clearly angry about the situation, but it didn't give him the right to treat her like this. She couldn't believe he would say something like that, but at the same time, she wasn't that surprised. He was a Darley after all.

And when the youngest of that fucked up family came out of the shower, Sarah was gone.

[...]

The sun was hotter than ever when Sarah opened the front door of her house with a loud sigh, trying to keep a straight face long enough to pass her mother without being asked a hundred questions. She knew her features always betrayed how she felt, but she had somehow grown used to hiding her thoughts around other people now that they actually paid attention to her. No one ever wanted to look in her direction before, but now it seemed like all eyes were on her and she did not appreciate it.

"Honey, is that you?" she heard her mother's voice speak from the kitchen while she had hoped not to be noticed as she walked towards the stairs.

"Yeah, I'm home," she was obligated to answer, stopping herself to turn to Denise who was walking out of the kitchen.

"Where were you last night? You didn't tell me you weren't sleeping here," she asked, holding the phone on her chest, probably in the middle of a conversation.

"I stayed at Emily's," Sarah told her mother with a plastic smile. "I didn't think you'd mind."

"I don't. Just call me next time," Denise asked, and Sarah just nodded as an answer.

She waved towards the phone, silently asking who she was talking to.

"Someone's coming over later today," her mother said instead of answering the question.

"Who?" Sarah asked, curious of what her mother was trying to hide.

"A real-estate agent."

Sarah raised an eyebrow in confusion as she let her mother's words sink in. Why would she invite a real-estate agent over? That didn't make sense.

"We're moving?" Sarah asked again, getting Denise to sigh.

"Go sit in the living room and I'll be right there, okay?

Sarah stared at her mother for ten more seconds before she finally did as she was told. This definitely sounded bad if she had to wait for her mother in a different room to talk about it.

She reached the living room and sat on the couch hesitantly, wondering if she still wanted to know about all this. Denise finally joined her and sat on the couch in front of her. The room stayed silent for a moment as she watched her mother stare at her with sad eyes.

"Are you and Dad getting a divorce?" she finally asked, thinking only that could explain her mother's behaviour and the fact they were in the process of selling the house.

"No, honey! God, no," her mother laughed softly, raising a hand to cover her mouth. "We're going to sell the house," she corrected afterwards.

"Why?"

Denise paused as she tried to find the best words to describe the situation. She didn't know how her daughter would react to the news.

"We're moving back."

"...moving back?" Sarah repeated, unsure if she had heard her right.

"To Montreal. We're going back home," Denise explained in a small voice. Sarah's mouth dropped in shock as she realised what her mother meant.

Home? That was a concept Sarah had forgotten about. She didn't even know how it felt anymore to have something like that.

Having a home would be having a place where she felt like she belonged. Where promises meant something and she had a reason worth waking up every morning for. Having a home would be not feeling lost.

No such place seemed to exist in Sarah's world.

"I don't want to go back," Sarah spoke, her voice cracking as she talked. Why was everyone being an ass to her this morning? She was starting to wish she had never woken up.

"Sarah, listen," her mother started, sitting closer to the edge of the couch to be able to take Sarah's hand above the middle table. "You father and I feel it would be better for all of us to go back to Canada. With everything that's happened, we don't feel this is a safe place for us, for you."

"Safe? When was I safe, mom?" Sarah spat, pulling her hand out of her mother's grasp. "Was there ever a place where I wasn't in danger, where I didn't have to worry? No!"

"Sarah, stop acting like a child, you know this is the right thing to do," Denise held her position, leaning back on the couch now that her daughter refused to touch her.

"Is it? God damn it mom, are you kidding me? We move all the way here for what happened last year and now you're moving us back? When some other shit happens, will we move again? To Europe this time? What about Australia, now that'd be great!" Sarah continued shouting, speaking louder as every word left her mouth.

Once again, she failed to understand her parents. They had built a whole new life here, changed jobs, school for Sarah, and had new friends, a new way to live. How could they want to leave? Getting shot could happen in any city, depending on who you were with. But maybe that's exactly why they wanted to move back: because of whom Sarah was with.

Denise didn't speak as Sarah kept thinking the whole thing over, trying to control her emotions even though she couldn't keep her anger in.

"I know this is not easy for you, you have new friends, you were soon going to start college here, but you can go back to your old friends back home," Denise tried with a shy smile.

"Oh, please, I didn't have any friends back home."

"You did before."

"Yeah: before. Two years ago."

Denise remained silent as her daughter sent a murderous look towards her. Her chest was heaving and she seemed completely horrified, but her mother could do nothing about it. She had made her decision.

"I won't go back," Sarah finally announced, standing up. Denise lifted her head up to meet her daughter's eyes and frowned.

"Don't be ridiculous, you're coming with us," she ordered, standing up as well to face her.

"We can't leave Boston!" Sarah spat harder, passing a nervous hand through her hair.

"I'm the parent, Sarah, I decide what we do," Denise spoke, keeping a very serious face. The two women kept staring into each others' eyes for a moment. "I'm not asking for your permission," she added without moving.

"Neither am I," Sarah replied. Denise flinched and raised an eyebrow as she tried to understand what her daughter meant.

But before she could, Sarah left the room in a hurry and she could hear to front door slam shut a couple of seconds afterwards. She waited a second, knowing her daughter would come back. And she did. The front door opened once again and Sarah entered the house again.

"I forgot, since you wanted to know: don't wait for me tonight. In fact, don't wait for me at all. I'm not coming home."

"Sarah, don't be silly."

The mother tried to stop her, but it was too late. She was gone again.

Denise sat clumsily on the couch again as she looked down on the floor, horrified. She had expected screams, cries, cursing, but not this. She had definitely not expected her daughter to leave, basically saying she didn't need her mother's approval for staying behind. For staying in Boston.

"How'd it go?" Pierre asked, walking in the living room, newspaper in hand. Denise turned her head slowly towards her husband and shook her head.

"Not good, honey. Not good."

[...]

Billy opened to door to his apartment with force, not bothering to be quiet. He knew no matter how much noise he made, no neighbour would ever complain. He took big steps towards the living room and dropped his jacket on the couch roughly, looking around the apartment in confusion.

He had expected to find someone waiting for him here, not an empty place. Hell, he didn't even think Joe would go to school. However, he thought, Joe could have been anywhere else but at school. It's not like he really cared if his brother went to class or not anyway.

Billy sighed and took his cell phone in his pocket, flipping it open to compose a number and place it on his ear. He heard two rings before a female voice finally answered.

"Where the fuck are you?"

[...]

Sarah raised her hand up slowly as she wondered why she was there. Why did she leave her house in the first place? She had nowhere to go. Nowhere but here.

She finally took a deep breath and knocked three times, waiting for someone to answer. The door finally opened and Emily appeared behind it.

"Sarah?" she spoke, bringing her arm down. She had been hiding herself since she was only in a bra with baggy pants, but now that she knew it was only her friend, it didn't matter. "What's wrong?"

"I left my parents' place."

"You did what?"

Sarah sighed as she looked past Emily and into the apartment. Emily hesitated a second, then opened the door wider so her friend could step in. She closed it when she had reached the kitchen and joined her once it was locked.

"You ditched your parents?" Emily asked again, sitting on a chair next to Sarah.

"What the fuck? What for?" A male voice shouted, and Sarah turned her head to see Tommy appear from the living room. She turned back to Emily with a small smile.

"Tommy, can't you see we're having a conversation here?" Emily sighed at her boyfriend, waving between Sarah and herself. Tommy rolled his eyes and walked back in the living room with a groan.

"Just to talk, huh?" Sarah teased her friend, getting her to roll her eyes as well. "I'm kidding, Em. I'm happy you guys are back together."

Emily took a deep breath as she looked down, but she could only let herself smile.

"Yeah. I'm happy too," she chuckled, and Sarah laughed as well. Emily looked back up at her friend and grew serious in a second. "So you left your house?"

Sarah's smile fell as well and she directed her eyes elsewhere while nodding. Emily sighed and leaned back on her chair.

"Why would you do that?" Emily asked in a concerned voice. She had had pretty important reasons to leave her parents, but Sarah was living quite an easy life. Her parents didn't ask that much of her and they had always welcomed her home. Emily couldn't understand what would push her friend to turn away from them.

"They want us to leave," Sarah informed her in a small voice. "They want to take me back home."

Emily's eyes widened as she stared at Sarah, somehow wishing she would burst out laughing, that all this would be a joke. But Sarah was dead serious and she didn't even flinch.

"What? Why?" Emily asked out a sudden after a long silence.

"Why do you think?" Sarah spat, pointing at her shoulder. Emily glanced at the sling and turned back to Sarah with a sigh.

"What's the point? You won't heal miraculously if you go back there!" Emily exclaimed in disbelief.

"I know! But I guess they feel they're keeping me from living something like that again," Sarah explained, shaking her head in defeat.

"I can't believe this."

Sarah nodded and the two girls remained silent for a very long moment. Silence was heavy and both of them didn't know what to say.

"You're not really leaving, are you?" Emily finally asked in a small voice.

"I don't want to leave," was all Sarah could say, since she didn't know if there was really anything she could do about it. Another silence took over them and Emily sighed once again. "Do you think I could... I don't know, I'm just saying, I wouldn't really expect you to agree, but you know, maybe I could-"

"Stay here?" Emily stopped Sarah's rambling while standing uptight on her chair.

"Well, uh, yeah," Sarah confirmed, biting on her lip nervously.

"Of course you can stay here, are you crazy?" Emily exclaimed, a huge smile spreading across her face.

"But only for a couple of days! Until I get things sorted out with my parents and I hopefully convince them to stay here," Sarah specified, pointing a finger at Emily's face.

"Yeah, whatever you say," Emily agreed, still smiling widely. Sarah chuckled as she smiled back at Emily. "This will be so much fun; it'll be like we're living together!"

"We _will_ be living together, Em," Sarah corrected, shaking her head, getting Emily to laugh.

"Fuck yeah."

After agreeing to everything, Sarah told Emily she'd go home to get some things and come back later that day. Emily ran to Tommy to tell him the news while Sarah left the apartment, feeling a little better than when she had first arrived. Walking down the street towards her car, Sarah felt her phone vibrating in her pocket. She reached for it and flipped it open without bothering to check who it was.

"Hello?"

[...]

"Where the fuck are you?" Billy spoke in a hard voice through the phone.

"At home," Megan's voice answered coldly. Billy sighed and held the phone harder on his ear.

"Ya were supposed to be at the Office. I went there lookin' for ya and ya weren't fuckin' there," he spat, sitting on the couch next to his jacket. He heard movement on the other line, and he figured she must be standing up from her bed or something.

"Oh shit, is it this late already?" Megan exclaimed in a high pitched voice. "I'm so sorry Billy, I forgot to set my alarm, I-"

"Cut the bullshit, Megan, I don't give a fuck 'bout your excuses," Billy stopped her, trying to control his breathing even though he was seconds from exploding. "Just get your ass down here. Now," he added, anger rising in his voice.

"I- Yeah, I'll be right there," Megan's shaking voice answered quickly.

"Good."

Billy flipped the phone shut and took a deep breath.

He did not like waiting on people, especially some girl who was supposed to be doing an important business for him. All this shit wasn't something he could mess with and he needed people he could count on, not dumb bimbos who couldn't even remember to set their alarms on.

Billy shook his head, trying to calm himself down as he waited on Megan. His thoughts drifted in different directions and he looked around with an aggravated sigh.

"Now where the fuck is Sarah?"

[...]

"Hello?"

"Hey Sarah, it's David."

Sarah stopped walking as she was reached her car when she heard David's low voice. It had been a long time since she had heard it and she realised she had missed it.

Furthermore, she also felt like shit and her heart raced so fast she could hear it beat in her skull.

"Oh, hi David," she said in a very small voice, clumsily opening the door to her car. She sat in the driver's seat and closed the door slowly, waiting for David to answer.

"Are you in the middle of something or...?" he asked in an unsure voice.

"No, no, I'm not doing anything," Sarah said, resting her head on the seat.

"Oh ok, 'cause I've been calling you lately and you never picked up or called me back and I thought maybe you got tired of me or something," he said quickly, taking a deep breath after he finished. On the other end of the line, Sarah's lungs emptied and she didn't seem to be able to breathe anymore. '_Is that what major guilt feels like?_' she thought.

"I know, I'm sorry, I was busy," she replied, pressing her lips together hardly.

"Yeah, I could tell. Are you doing anything today?" he asked, full of hope.

"Uh, no, I don't have plans yet."

"Great, wanna do something? I'm home right now but we can-"

"Ok, I'll be right there."

David agreed and Sarah hung up before starting the engine of her car. She drove slowly, trying to figure out how she would explain to David how much of a disgusting unfaithful brat she was. _'This should be fun,_' she thought, heading towards David's apartment.

[...]

In the mean time, Megan had finally made it to Billy's apartment before hell broke loose. He was 'patiently' waiting for her, stiffly sitting on the couch, looking straight ahead with clenched fists. The door wasn't locked so she let herself in with hesitation, afraid to take a step in the apartment, knowing she had upset Billy by not showing up at their appointment.

"I'm so sorry, Billy, I'll make it up to you, I swear," she started saying the second she faced him, and Billy immediately stood up.

"Shut up," he ordered her sternly, walking the couple meters they had between them. Megan instinctively took a step back, but stopped herself once she saw Billy's look. His cold stare got her to freeze in her spot. "Tell me 'bout the guy."

"Well, I don't know what to tell you, I..." she hesitated, looking down at her feet. She normally wasn't that scared of him, but knowing she had pissed him off, anything could happen and she didn't want to upset him more.

"Did you get with him or not?" he asked again, this time speaking louder. He had asked Megan to meet with that guy to get him information, but if she hadn't done it like she said she would, he surely wouldn't be too pleased.

"Yes, I met with him last night like you told me to," she assured him, meeting his eyes to make sure he understood she was telling the truth.

"So?"

"So, I don't know, I... we-"

"I don't care what you did, I wanna know what he told you," Billy specified, knowing what Megan was going to tell him. Megan nodded slowly and took a deep breath.

"I didn't learn much," she started, but soon continued when she met Billy's eyes. "But I know one thing!"

"Yes?"

"They're planning something. Patrick talked on the phone with some guy and he mentioned some plan they were preparing, in a month or so," she explained, and soon relaxed while she saw Billy's angry face fade to be replaced by an interested one.

"Do you know what that plan's about?" he wondered with a raised eyebrow.

"No, but they mentioned a couple of your corners," she replied, getting Billy to nod and silently ask her to continue. "And, um, he said a name."

"What name?" Billy asked, getting curious.

"Alexander," Megan spoke hesitantly. "Ring any bells?" she wondered.

"Yeah. I know that motherfucker," Billy confirmed while nodding to himself. He took a deep breath, trying to control the obvious anger rising in his whole body. "That it?"

"Yes, that's it."

"Then leave."

Billy turned away from her and walked quickly towards the couch to sit once again. He let go of a deep sigh and scrubbed his shaved head in a nervous manner. Megan stayed still where she had been standing during the whole conversation, and Billy finally raised his head to look at her.

"I said leave!" he repeated in a harder voice, getting Megan to jump, but she still didn't move.

"You were with her last night, weren't you?" she asked in a shaking voice, obviously fighting against her emotions.

Billy sighed deeply and clenched his jaw.

"It's none of your fucking business," he answered coldly, but Megan only sniffed and continued talking.

"You were with her while I was with that guy... for you. I'm doing this for you and during that time you're fucking _her_?" Megan spoke, putting so much hatred in her words, especially when she mentioned Sarah. Billy clenched his jaw harder and stood up once again. Megan was crying now and he wasn't sure he could support her much longer.

"I didn't force ya to do that shit," he pointed out, but Megan wouldn't listen.

"I know you don't only sleep with me, but _her_ of all people? You know I don't like that girl and yet you keep acting like she's the fucking center of the world! I don't understand what's so fucking fantastic about that bitch," Megan ranted, but while she talked Billy had started walking towards her without her having noticed it.

She finally did when he stopped right in front of her and grabbed her right wrist, squeezing it in his strong hand. Megan whimpered as she stared at Billy's enraged face which was now inches away from hers.

"You need to learn how to shut the fuck up," Billy commented between his teeth, speaking calmly but keeping a very angry face.

Megan brought her left hand over Billy's, trying to loosen his fingers around her wrist, but it did no difference and she held it on his arm instead.

"Billy you're hurting me," she informed him, but Billy didn't give any sign it had affected him. He just continued to hold her firmly and brought his head even closer from hers, so close his nose almost touched hers.

"Leave," he ordered for the last time.

Megan didn't move, for one because she couldn't, but also because she couldn't break the stare between them, she was too scared to look away. Billy finally opened his hand to let her wrist slid out of his grasp and Megan instinctively brought it on her chest, scrubbing it softly, hoping it would ease the pain. She took a step back before turning around quickly and she ran towards the front door of the apartment, slamming it shut behind her.

[...]

"It's nice to finally see you again," David commented as he sat on his couch next to Sarah.

The young girl took a small sip of her glass of water and smiled shyly at him before placing it back on the table.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I wasn't available a lot," she apologized again, but David waved it away.

"It's fine. I get that," he assured her with a cute grin. His famous cute grin she could never resist.

Sarah chuckled softly and they stayed silent for a moment, while Sarah found it necessary to drink again.

"You look pretty today," he complimented her, and Sarah looked down at herself before going back to his face. She was indeed still wearing the shirt she had picked out for Billy and those heeled boots now hurting her feet after wearing them for two days in a row.

"Thanks," she replied, blushing slightly. David's grin widened when he noticed it and he moved forward to take her hand.

"You're always pretty, actually," he corrected, and Sarah laughed softly before bringing her hand back on herself in an uncomfortable manner.

"David I have something to tell you," she announced in a small voice, and David's face immediately fell. The seriousness in her voice could hardly be ignored.

"What's wrong?" he wondered with a frown, knowing this wouldn't sound good. Sarah looked away and bit on her lip nervously, wondering how to put into words the awful things she had done.

"I-I cheated on you," she finally confessed, looking back at him to see his reaction. David didn't move at first, he just looked horribly shocked, and he finally let go of a deep sigh, clenching his jaw like any guy seemed to do when he was pissed. "I mean, I know we weren't really together and all, but the reason I wasn't answering your calls is because I was with... I was with someone else and I feel so bad about it, and I'm so sorry, David, I really am," she rambled, knowing what she said didn't help him at all.

David sighed again and scrubbed his face roughly.

"Really?" David said, staring at her in disbelief.

"Oh god, I'm such a slut," Sarah sighed, but David shook his head.

"You're not a slut," David disagreed. "You're just being stupid."

Sarah raised an eyebrow, but she didn't add anything. She wasn't sure if she understood what David meant.

"Do you like him?" he asked in a low voice.

"Well, yeah, I guess... I mean, yes, I do, I like him," Sarah hesitated, still not knowing where he was going.

"Do you like me?" he asked again, and Sarah paused before answering.

"Yes."

"Do you love him?"

Sarah froze, unable to answer the question. She didn't think it would help the situation whether she loved Billy or not, and she didn't know why David thought it would, and she just didn't want to answer.

"I don't know," she finally said in a tiny voice.

"Do you love me?"

Sarah felt her breathing stuck again and she tried to sigh, thinking David was asking too many questions already. She thought it was pretty obvious she didn't know where her feelings stood, so she couldn't understand why people kept asking her about them.

"I could," Sarah answered honestly, realising it just as she was saying it. David was everything she needed, everything she, somehow, wanted in a guy, and it was clear she could potentially fall in love with him, but it still surprised her when the words left her mouth.

David paused as he watched her from the corner of his eyes, his elbows resting on his knees. He didn't know what to say to her now that he knew what she had done. Sure, he liked Sarah a lot and wasn't the most jealous guy out there, but there was only so much he could take.

"I could have fallen in love with you too, Sarah," he finally said after a moment, looking in front of him as he spoke. "That's the sad part."

"I'm sorry," Sarah whispered, not being able to use her full voice from all the guilt. She felt so ashamed, she could barely face him.

On the other hand, she had liked Billy first, had kissed Billy first, and had slept with Billy first... it was only normal he was the one she'd end up with. But it didn't change the fact David had never hurt her like Billy had, and he probably never would. That was the scary part.

"I bet you can't wait to get back to him," David commented hardly, still not looking at her. Sarah sighed and looked away as well.

"I wouldn't say that," she replied sadly. She had tried to put the morning events in the back of her mind but she couldn't forget them easily. Joe had been an ass by telling her she was just any other whore Billy brought home, and Billy hadn't even bothered to say goodbye and just left her there so his brother could kick her out. She didn't know if Joe was telling the truth or not, but she knew Billy hadn't been there to prove him wrong and that was enough to be mad at him.

"Why not?" David wondered, turning his head so he could look at Sarah. The young girl could only lock eyes with him and frown.

"It's a long story," Sarah said without more of an explanation, which only got David to raise an eyebrow.

"Does he treat you right?" David asked suddenly, getting worried at Sarah's words.

"Oh, yeah! I mean, he's not... He doesn't- He's fine," Sarah spoke quickly, too quickly to speak right. David didn't seem satisfied and he turned his self around to face her.

"You sure? Sarah, if that guy's not good to you, why would you choose him?" he said, still raising his eyebrow.

"I didn't _choose_ him. If anything, it's you I chose. He just happened, and..."

"Wait, wait, wait. So if it was only for you, you'd be with me, is that what you're saying?" David interrupted her, waving between the two of them.

"No. If it was only for me, I wouldn't be with anybody. I don't want a boyfriend, David."

"Then why d'you accept to go out with me?"

"Because you asked! And I liked you, and I still like you, but I don't want to be somebody's girlfriend," she explained in a pleading tone, wishing he would understand.

"It's a little too late for that," he commented.

"I'm not his girlfriend. And I don't want to be his girlfriend, and I don't want to be with him period, but..." Sarah said in a rush, before slowing down to take a breath. "But I need him," she finally admitted, to David and to herself. "I want him and I can't- I can't be without him."

Sarah had said those last words so quickly that she could only breathe hardly as she tried calm herself down. David just stared at her with wide opened eyes before he turned his head and positioned his elbows on his knees once again.

"Fuck," she whispered to herself as she realised what she had just confessed.

She needed Billy. She couldn't imagine losing him again like she had done a couple of weeks ago, when he hadn't been in his life for months. It was no secret she could never stop thinking about him, and now that she had given herself to him many times, it was engraved in her mind and couldn't be erased.

She was his, no matter how hard she tried to keep him away. He'd always be there, in front of her or on the back of her mind.

Sarah finally decided she should get going and David made no attempt to get her to stay. He barely said goodbye to her when she announced she was leaving, just looking up to look at her and nod to tell her he was listening. She didn't know if she would see him again, but she wished she would.

David was a good guy, the ones you should pick, the ones who deserve good girls.

But Sarah wasn't a good girl. So she picked the bad guy.

[...]

Billy let go of an aggravated sigh, phone in hand, quickly going over his contact list to find a number. He finally clicked on the right person and brought the phone to his ear, listening to two rings before someone picked up.

"Hello?"

"Where are you?" Billy demanded to know, speaking of much a sweeter voice then when he had been talking to Megan.

"In my car," Sarah replied in a small voice. She was still shocked a realising what she felt about Billy, and that's the moment he had chosen to call her.

"Where'd you go this morning?" he asked again, always so sneaky.

"Home. That's what Joe told me I should do," Sarah spoke in an accusing tone, and Billy instinctively clenched his jaw.

"He did what?" Billy stayed silent, probably wondering why his brother would kick Sarah out. "Joe's a stupid fucker," he finally justified with a shrug, even though Sarah couldn't see him.

"So you're meaning to say I could have stayed?" Sarah asked, secretly smiling to herself in her car.

Billy took a pause before he spoke. "Yeah, you should've."

Sarah nodded to herself and bit on her lip as she turned on the engine of the car.

"Ok, well, next time I will."

"Why don't you come right now?" Billy proposed, and Sarah held back a laugh.

"Why should I?"

Billy sighed again and passed a hand on his head before he spoke.

"Please?" he mumbled, but Sarah heard him perfectly and smiled widely this time.

"I'll be right there."

**Thanks for reading! Leave a review.**


	17. There's Nothing to Think About

**Hey you guys!**

**I know, this is taking WAY too long, but what can I do, I'm busy.**

**BUT, I finish school next week (thank god), so from then on I should be able to write more often.**

**That being said, I hope you like this chapter and don't forget to leave a review =D**

"That's it?"

Sarah glanced down at the small bag she had just dropped on the hard floor of Emily's apartment before going back to her friend's face.

"Well, yeah, I mean…I'm not moving in with you; I'm just staying for a couple days," Sarah justified with half a shrug. She was still stuck in her sling and couldn't wait to be able to free her arm again, but that didn't happen before a little less than two weeks.

"I know, but you barely have three outfits in there," Emily continued, closing the door behind Sarah. "On the other hand, you are Sarah. You are not a normal girl."

The blonde haired girl chuckled and walked in Emily's kitchen, ignoring her friend's comment. The other followed, shaking her head with a smile.

Sarah hadn't moved in the day she said she would because she had been with Billy instead. Emily had been a little disappointed that her friend would chose him over her, but Sarah had assured her that it was only for one night and there was no way she was staying at Billy's place. She was still mad at Joe for that comment he had said that one morning, calling her a whore and telling her to leave. There was no way she was living with him, and she felt that her relationship with Billy wasn't serious enough for her to live with him as well.

If you could call what they had a relationship.

So, instead of moving in two days ago, she was moving in now, and both girls were pretty pleased about it.

"This is really awesome," Emily said when they reached the table and sat to eat what Emily had happily cooked for them.

"Yeah, I've never spent less than a week without seeing my parents, this is weird," Sarah commented as she eyed the dish in front of her. At least Emily can cook, she thought to herself, remembering failing miserably everything she tried to cook something other than a grilled cheese. "Not that I have a problem with it."

Emily snorted and Sarah smiled warmly as she acknowledged her new-found freedom. She didn't even think she wanted to go back to her parents anymore. As she thought further about it, she actually realized she wouldn't mind if they left without her. But that was very unlikely to happen.

"So… how's it going with Billy?" Emily wondered after a moment. She was really good at asking questions nobody wanted to answer. Emily was stiffed and Sarah could tell something was wrong.

"Good, I guess," Sarah said in a cold voice, accompanied by a lopsided shrug.

Emily raised her eyes from her plate to stare at her friend who was still looking down at the food she was eating. Sarah was widely aware of Emily's eyes on her, but she refused to look at her. Emily realised the other girl wasn't going to say anything else, so she sighed before she said what she had been holding in for a while now.

"I've been thinking and…"

"Have you, really?" Sarah spat, still looking at her plate. Her tone was far from friendly but she knew what Emily was going to say wouldn't be pleasant to hear, so she was anticipating her own annoyed attitude.

"Sarah, don't be a smart ass, I'm serious," the girl warned in a harder voice. Sarah stopped chewing for a second, and then continued acting normally as she waited for Emily to talk. "I was just thinking, you know, that maybe…I don't know, I'm not sure, but, it seems to me that…"

"Get to the point, Em."

"Don't you think this is easy?"

"What's easy?"

Sarah finally lifted her head up to look at Emily with a raised brow. Her friend's comment came out of absolutely nowhere and she didn't even know what she was talking about. Easy? Nothing had been easy in the past months. Just going to the bathroom was hard with that stupid sling she was caught in.

"Going back to…this. Like nothing happened. Like you were never hurt and Tommy and I never broke up."

"Isn't this what you wanted?"

Sarah's fork was down now and she couldn't hide the shock spreading across her face. Emily always changed sides. First she was against going back to the guys, then she complained to Sarah because she was scared, and now she was against it again! Why was everything so complicated?

"Yes, but not like this!" Emily snapped, waving her hands between the two of them.

"Like what?"

"With them acting like nothing happened! Am I the only who sees you hurting whenever you move you arm? Am I the only one to see the scars on your face or the fear in your eyes when you see his gun?"

"Emily, stop, this is useless."

"Am I the only one to see how Tommy has gone weird? That he says he loves me like he's afraid I won't say it back. He thinks I see a killer when I look at him. I know he does. Jesus Christ, Sarah, is everybody blind but me?" Emily snapped, tears flooding her eyes. Sarah froze as she listened to her friend, wondering how this very normal conversation had turned into a dramatic shout out of everything Emily had on her chest.

"What do you suggest we do, Emily? Please, tell me what the fuck I'm supposed to do!" Sarah shouted, getting angry even though she fairly agreed to her friend's comment. She had been thinking the same thing, but she didn't have Emily's nerve to say it out loud. She was happy where she was, no matter how wrong it was.

"I think we should go to the police," Emily suggested sternly, speaking in a softer voice. She was looking straight in Sarah's eyes which had widened in surprise.

"How could you say that?" her voice cracked. "He's your boyfriend. You love him."

"I'm not talking about Tommy."

Sarah shook her head as she let her friend's words sink in. She could hardly believe what was happening. It was like a nightmare where everything was spinning and nothing made sense.

"He did nothing wrong," Sarah whispered, unable to use her normal voice.

"He's their leader, Sarah. And Heco killed that man, you told me he did!" Emily retorted, raising her voice again.

"It was an accident!" Sarah yelled harder to cover Emily's pleads.

"Bullshit! He was probably high on some shit, and Billy gave him a fucking gun anyway. He told them to shoot you and you just sit there and wait for him to come back to you and tell you he cares?"

"You got back with Tommy too!"

"Tommy has a heart!"

"Oh, and Billy doesn't?"

"NO! No, he has no heart!" Emily shouted over Sarah. "I've known him longer then you have and I can tell you he's a heartless asshole and he has nothing to give you!"

Emily's chest was heaving as she stopped screaming to see what her best friend had to say, but the other was speechless. There was nothing to say after this. Emily's heart squeezed as she realised the face of horror winning over Sarah's soft features.

"I'm sorry, Sarah, but it's true. I just can't sit here and watch you destroy yourself for him. It's not worth it. _He_'s not worth it," she added in a softer voice, but Sarah ignored it and just passed a hand through her hair and let go of an aggravated sigh.

"You don't know him like I know him."

Emily fell back in her chair as she rolled her eyes. There was nothing she could say to change her friend's mind, and both girls knew it.

"I can't believe you wanna go to the police," Sarah hissed after a moment, frowning.

"Not without you. You're the witness, there's nothing I can do if you don't want to. But just think about it, Sarah."

"No, Emily, there's no way in hell I'm selling them to the cops, ok? There's nothing to think about, it's not happening, end of conversation."

Sarah held Emily's stare to make sure her friend had understood. Emily sighed deeply before nodding.

"Fine. Do whatever you want to do, just remember I warned you, ok?"

Sarah shook her head in disbelief and stood up from her chair, taking her plate to the sink to wash it.

Well, that wasn't the best way to start their co-habitation. However, Sarah didn't think much of it. Emily was just worried this whole story would haunt her, and she was trying to protect her friend, which was very easy to understand, but she wasn't doing it the right way.

What she had said about Billy had hurt her but she knew her friend had never really liked her relationship with him. Seeing him with so many other girls for years couldn't have helped either.

The days flew quickly it night fell over the city as Tommy, Billy and Joe entered the small apartment, laughing at someone's joke, just inviting themselves in. Obviously, Emily had forgotten to mention her boyfriend was supposed to come over, saying something about bringing other people. Sarah was in her room when they arrived, and she only took the time to see who it was before hiding back in it, not feeling like talking to anybody. Emily was being a bitch, Joe had been an ass and Tommy was just getting more and more annoying. He treated Sarah like Billy did, like she couldn't take care of herself. They were both always around, making sure everything was fine, taking care of her even though she didn't need it.

It was no surprise Billy came knocking to the door a couple of seconds later. He didn't even wait for her to let him in; he just opened the door and closed it behind him, staring at her from where he stood as Sarah lifted her eyes from her book.

They looked at each other for some time before Billy finally took two steps towards her, landing at the bottom of the bed.

"What 'you doing hiding in there?" he wondered, and Sarah shrugged.

"Just reading," she said, closing the book to place it on the night stand. She started sitting up straight in the process of standing up, but Billy raised his hand up to stop her. She raised an eyebrow, sitting back on the pillow, and Billy smirked before placing a knee on the bed, leaning forward to support himself with his palm on one side of her.

"Billy, what are you doing?" Sarah asked, but Billy didn't answer. Instead, he placed his other knee on the bed and brought his other arm on her other side, now hovering over her.

"You can't hide from me, pretty," Billy commented, placing himself between Sarah's legs which had instinctively opened up for him. Without giving her time to answer, he leaned his head forward to reach her lips, kissing her deeply before pulling away. Sarah kept her eyes shut as she breathed slowly, biting on her lip.

"What?" Billy asked in a cold voice.

"You smell like someone else."

Sarah felt Billy stiffen over her as she opened her eyes to meet his. It was no surprise that his jaw was clenched and that he sighed deeply, trying to think of something to say. She could see the very subtle movement of his facial muscles as he thought. Of course, he couldn't find anything to justify.

"I was at the Roses, it was full," he tried with a shrug, and Sarah only smiled sadly. She raised a hand to trace the scar beside his left eye before sliding it down his cheek.

"Yeah," she whispered softly, her smile slowly fading as Billy's eyes darkened. She didn't believe him.

"Sarah," Billy sighed, lowering his head to bury his face in her hair, kissing her neck slowly. She didn't say anything and just caressed his back as she closed her eyes again. "I missed you," he admitted, breathing in her back, getting her to shiver.

"You saw me this morning," she retorted, still speaking quietly.

"Did lots of shit since this morning."

"Yeah, I bet you did."

Billy raised his head back up to look at her. It was obvious he was getting annoyed at her attitude, but Sarah didn't really mind. She knew their relationship wasn't exclusive and all, but she still didn't want to feel it every time they were together.

"What do you want me to tell you?" he spat.

"I didn't ask anything," Sarah answered with another shrug, acting like she couldn't understand why he was reacting this way.

"Exactly: you never asked for anything. Why act like this now?" Billy demanded in a hard tone.

"I didn't think I could," Sarah admitted, lowering her eyes to look at his chest.

"Could what?"

"Ask for something."

Sarah lifted her eyes back up to meet his.

"Forget about it," she mumbled, rolling over to escape him. Billy instinctively pushed her back down and clenched his jaw.

"Ask for what?" Billy asked as if the conversation had never been interrupted.

"I don't know, Billy. For something more?" Sarah spat, getting Billy to raise an eyebrow.

"You'd want that?"

Sarah paused as she studied Billy's face. She could only wonder what in the world would get him to consider this, but she also felt her heart start to beat faster now that she realised he did.

"Yes," Sarah breathed out, and Billy smirked at her shy voice. "Wait, what are you talking about?"

"You being my girl is what I'm talking about," Billy explained, and Sarah's heart stopped beating.

"Really?"

"Yeah, really," Billy confirmed. "Is that what _you_'re talking about?"

"Uh, well, I don't know, I mean, maybe..."

"Do you want to be my girl or not?" Billy growled, getting impatient.

"Yes," Sarah answered again, getting Billy to smirk again. He always thought it was funny when her voice turned into one of a little girl, when she acted everything but like it normally. "I mean, no."

"What?" Billy hissed while his smile faded.

"Have you even had a 'girl' before?" Sarah wondered, getting Billy to sigh.

"Yeah, I guess," he shrugged, but that was far from enough for her.

"You guess?"

"Yeah, I've had a girl before," Billy answered coldly, and Sarah rolled her eyes at his annoyed tone.

"What was she to you?" she asked.

"What do you mean 'what was she to me'? She was my girl is what she was!" Billy retorted.

"Were you faithful to her?" Sarah asked in a small voice, and Billy paused. He knew that question was coming but he still didn't know how to answer to that.

Instead, he just held Sarah's stare, waiting until she asked a different question.

"Were you?" she insisted, and Billy held back a sigh.

"No," he confessed, and Sarah scoffed.

"See, what's the point in being your girl if you can't restrain yourself from sleeping around?" Sarah laughed sadly, before trying to get him off of her, only to be pushed back down again.

"I can 'restrain' myself, I just never had to. She never asked me to be faithful," Billy explained softly, trying not to let his temper get the best of him.

"I'm pretty sure she wanted you to. She was just too afraid to ask."

"Isn't that what you're doing?" Billy accused, and Sarah frowned.

"No. I just don't ask people for things I know they can't give me," Sarah explained, and Billy's eyes darkened as his jaw clenched.

"You don't know what I can give you," Billy protested in a cold voice, his face twisting from the anger he was trying to keep in. Sarah raised her hand again to caress his neck, trying to calm him down. It seemed to work and Sarah sighed in relief.

"Then tell me," she pleaded. Billy took the hand she had on his neck between his fingers and squeezed it, bringing it down on Sarah's chest.

"I can be faithful to you," he said, staring at her shaking fingers. Sarah sighed, getting him to look back up at her.

"Forget about it, Billy, it doesn't matter," she spoke softly, staring at his chest. Billy lifted her head back up by grabbing her chin between his fingers.

"Do you want me to be faithful?" he asked in a hard tone.

"I'm not asking you to be," she retorted.

"But is it what you want?" he asked again louder, getting irritated.

"Yes, but-"

"Then I will," he announced, and Sarah's eyes widened in shock. "If that's what it takes for you to be my girl, then I fucking will."

Silence overtook the two of them as they stared in each other's eyes. Both of them couldn't believe what Billy had just said, but they somehow knew he meant it as well. It wasn't just a promise you did in order to get something, it was more than that.

"Seriously?" Sarah asked after a moment, her voice cracking as she spoke.

"Seriously," Billy repeated. "But I got rules."

Sarah sighed. She knew this was coming. Being Billy Darley's girl couldn't be that easy, it had to have a twist.

"Rules?"

"Yes."

Billy glared at her, trying to see if there was any sign of protestation on her part. There didn't seem to have any, she was just genuinely curious. He licked his lips and leaned forward so his head was next to hers, speaking directly in Sarah's ear. He felt her shiver again as he let almost all his weight fall into her, trapping her more than he ever had.

"You're mine," he started in a very low voice. Sarah bit on her lip as she closed her eyes, concentrating on his deep voice echoing in her head. The position was exciting, but it was also incredibly scary. Billy had never seemed more dangerous to her then he did now. "You don't sleep with nobody else. You don't kiss nobody else. Hell, you don't fucking _touch_ nobody else," he ordered, speaking very calmly, but she knew he meant business.

Sarah dug her nails in his back as he kissed the weak spot beneath her ear and left a trail of kisses down her neck.

"You're mine," he repeated as Sarah failed at controlling her breathing and breathed out weirdly, trying to keep in a moan. Billy raised his head back up to look at her and locked eyes with while she opened them. "Got it?" Sarah nodded. "Good."

"Same stands for me," she added, and Billy nodded as well.

"That means that shithead you're with, he's out," he continued hardly, getting Sarah to sigh.

"He already is," she assured him, and Billy seemed surprised for an instant before he went back to his cold stare.

"Good," he repeated. Sarah smiled sadly and shook her head as she looked down at her fingers. "I'm not finished," Billy growled, getting her to look back up at him. "I'm no normal guy," he started.

"Oh, really?" she teased, but he shut her up with a hard glare. "Sorry," she mumbled, but he just continued like nothing happened.

"The life I lead, it ain't for you. So don't try and put your nose in it, ok?" he barked, and Sarah just nodded. She knew better then to interrupt him and he spoke of so serious things, and she did agree with his statement. She may have been an abnormal girl but living a gangster life wasn't at the top of her list.

"The Office is off limits," he added, getting Sarah to raise an eyebrow.

"The Office?"

"Where we cook our shit, where everything's held. Ya don't go there, ever."

"Ok," Sarah agreed. The seriousness in his voice was one she had never heard him use; once again she only nodded.

Billy nodded as well, satisfied she hadn't complained of his rules. There may not be many, but they were really important and he wished she knew better than to play with his restrictions. You just didn't want to get on Billy's bad side. Ever.

"One more thing," he spoke after a moment, and Sarah just waited for him to talk, opened to listen to anything he had to say. Billy resisted the urge to crash his lips against hers and continued. "If I ever see you with my brother again, I swear to fucking God, I'll-" he trailed off, but Sarah stopped him before he could tell any more treats.

"It won't happen," she assured him, placing a hand on his chest to shut him up. "I love Joe, but not like that."

"He still likes you," Billy justified.

"I can't do anything about that, Billy. I can only tell you it's not him I want... it's you. Joe will find someone else and he'll forget about me in no time, you know that," she spoke softly, and Billy's jaw clenched a second before he nodded, agreeing with her. "It really pissed you off to see me with him that night," she said, more like a comment than a question. Billy paused before he nodded again.

"Yeah," he admitted bitterly, looking away for a moment. Sarah bit her lip again before gently turning his head back up towards her.

"Well it really pissed me off to see you with Megan," she accused, and Billy sighed.

"I wanted to make you jealous," he confessed again, getting Sarah to smirk and shake her head. "It worked, didn't it?" he smirked as well, and Sarah shook her head again.

"Yeah," she admitted as well, and Billy licked his lips once again. "You're an ass."

Billy's smirk almost cracked at the insult, but he finally decided to just shrug it away. He had, indeed, been an ass. Oh well.

"But you still accepted to be my girl," he retorted, and Sarah smiled widely.

"I like challenges," she justified, getting Billy to chuckle.

"You don't stand a chance against me, pretty," he laughed, leaning closer to catch her lips before she could say anything. Sarah held back her comment and just kissed him, giving him entrance into her mouth as he deepened the kiss. Billy's hands were soon traveling her body as he moved on top of her, creating a little more place between them se he could slid a hand under her shirt.

His fingers made contact with her skin and she felt a shiver run down her spine as Billy traced the scar on her stomach slowly, while she brought a hand behind in neck to pull him closer. The atmosphere was getting heated and Sarah could only think that they had to learn how to kiss without getting in each other's pants. Not that she minded how passionate they got, but it could be found rather unpractical to need sex that much. Now was not the time for a quickie; Emily, Tommy and Joe were in the other room waiting for them.

"Billy," Sarah mumbled against their kiss when he had reached for her pants and was trying to unzip it.

"What?" he hissed, raising his head back up to look at her. They were both panting and Sarah smirked at his annoyance. He sure looked like he wanted some, which got her to chuckle. He may have smelled like somebody else, he probably hadn't had any at the bar. Fooling around, maybe, but not actual sex. _'Maybe he's already faithful to me?' _Sarah wondered as she brought her eyebrows down, staring at him. "What?" he repeated, taking her out of her thoughts.

"You're cute," she spoke, smiling softly at him. Billy's instinct reaction was to frown and raise an eyebrow.

"Cute?" he exclaimed. He had been called sexy, hot, good looking, scary even, but cute? Not since he was six.

"Not when you do that face, no, but sometimes you are," she teased. Billy kept staring at her like she had gone mental. "Stop looking at me like that, it's true."

"You're crazy," he commented, but Sarah just laughed it off. She grabbed his collar and brought him down so she could give him a quick kiss, to which he greedily responded, but she pushed him away softly.

"We should join the others," Sarah said, smiling sadly at him. Billy rolled his eyes.

"They can survive without us," he tried, but Sarah just shook her head.

"We can't leave Emily with these two idiots," she commented, and Billy sighed.

"Hell we can't! Come on, Sarah," Billy insisted. "I want you," he whispered in a deep voice, leaning forward slowly to get his face closer to hers without touching. Sarah felt his breathing on her lips and gasp. "Don't you want me?"

Sarah blinked twice before nodding.

"Yes," she breathed out, and Billy smirked. "But not right now," she added before she laughed, staring at Billy's disappointed face. Before he could say anything, she pulled him towards her for a last kiss, a very passionate one at that. It only lasted about ten seconds but it was enough to get her cheeks warmed up and red as Billy pulled away. "Come on, let's go," she announced, trying to speak normally.

Billy was still a little taken aback by that kiss he hadn't seen coming and listened to what she said, rolling off of the bed to let her stand up.

"You're killing me," he commented in a whisper, but Sarah heard him and smirked.

She grabbed his hand and led him towards the door, the both of them walking side to side towards the living room. Sarah glanced weirdly at Billy and sighed. She never thought she'd see the days she'd be walking hand in hand with Billy Darley. Life can surprise you sometimes.

"What ya'll doing, the game's starting!" they heard Tommy whine before his face appeared from the living room. Billy turned his head to Sarah and nodded towards the couch where he went to sit. She smiled at him but stayed in the middle of the room.

"Joe, can I talk to you for a minute?" she asked in a small voice. The young boy Billy had just sat next to turned his head to her and raised an eyebrow.

"Sure," he agreed before standing up. Sarah didn't wait for him and started walking towards the kitchen. Emily, who had been sitting next to her boyfriend on the other couch, turned to Billy with a questioning look, but the other just shrugged. He, too, had no idea what Sarah was doing.

Sarah stood next to the counter as she watched Joe enter right after her. He seemed unsure of what he was doing or what she wanted, but Sarah didn't give him a chance to ask and waved him to come closer. He took hesitant steps towards her before he was finally standing right in front of her.

"What's going on, Sarah?" he wondered, trying to act casual. He hadn't seen her since the morning he told her to leave his house after realising she was sleeping with his brother, and he did felt bad about it, but he was also still pissed.

Instead of answering his question, Sarah raised her right end and slapped him hard across the face. Joe's head turned to the right from the strength of the hit and his jaw dropped as he realised Sarah had just slapped him. He raised his on hand to cover his throbbing cheek and turned his face towards the girl glaring at him like all she wanted was to hit him again.

"What the fuck?" he yelled, dropping his hand down his body. Sara took a deep breath and grabbed his collar roughly, but instead of bringing him down to her level, she held herself up on or toes to look at him straight in the eyes.

"If you call me a whore again, or any other name that you know I won't like and you know is nothing like me, I swear Joe, I'll fucking kill you. I'll castrate you and the only sex you'll be able to have will be by being some dude's bitch, you got it?" she spat hardly, getting Joe to widen his eyes in shock. He had never thought Sarah could be that scary. He had been wrong, she was horrifying.

"Y-Yes," he agreed, nodding clumsily. Sarah smiled victoriously and let go of his shirt to let herself back down.

"Oh and for your information, I'm not Billy's whore. I'm his girlfriend," she announced before walking around him and heading for the living room again. Joe stayed frozen in the kitchen of a second, letting Sarah's words sink in.

Billy and Sarah were a couple now? Unbelievable. He didn't want Sarah to like Billy. He didn't want Billy to even _look_ at Sarah. And now they were dating? Un-fucking-believable.

All he had to do now was to wish his brother wouldn't hurt her too much. He knew just how much it was easy to fuck everything up. He, himself, was pretty good at it. But his brother... he was a pro.


	18. Making the Right Choice

**Hi! New chapter, finally. Sorry for the wait, I'm seriously not having any inspiration at the moment. Still hope you're gonna like this, leave a review ;)**

The black mustang parked slowly in the hospital parking lot, not getting into a stop until it was positioned directly in front of the automatic sliding doors. Billy turned off the engine and felt the rumble cease under him and he glanced at the doors, then looked back in front of him with his always so hard face. He was waiting.

He was always waiting. Waiting for someone, waiting for something to happen. He was getting tired of it. But like with everything in life, there wasn't much he could do about it.

After what seemed like an hour, but really couldn't have been more than ten minutes, a young teenager appeared from the entrance and walked happily towards the car, waving her hands enthusiastically. Billy smirked and she smiled towards him even though she couldn't see him with the tainted glass. Standing in front of the car, the young girl was jumping up and down, doing a silly dance she knew would make her look like a five year old, but she didn't mind. She felt so much better now that her sling was gone.

Billy shook his head and rolled his window down an inch so she could hear him (even if it was clear his voice would have gotten through the thin glass anyway).

"Get in the car!" he ordered.

Sarah stopped dancing and stood in front of the car. She stuck her tongue out at him, getting his to smirk again, before she finally decided to do as he said. Billy had been in a bad mood lately and she knew his patience was being put to the test every time she argued with him. Basically, she was threatening her own safety just by opening her mouth.

"You just can't appreciate my extraordinary dancing techniques," she teased half seriously.

"I gotta be somewhere," he justified as he turned on the ignition. Sarah nodded.

Billy's eyes met hers as he waited for her to say something in response, but she didn't. Instead, she smiled softly at him.

"Hi," she spoke, realising she hadn't even taken the time to say hello to him. Billy seemed surprised by the outcome of the conversation, thinking he was going to end up with a cold and upset girlfriend, but he didn't comment on it.

"Hi," he answered in a softer tone than before, and Sarah's smile widened.

Billy leaned forward to kiss her lips quickly, but Sarah pulled him back to give him another one.

"Thanks for picking me up," she said when he was sitting correctly in his seat.

Billy shrugged it away and sent to car to drive; Sarah watched the city passing by through the window. This was just the way she liked it: she was smiling, the air was warm, and Billy was there. As simple as that.

Of course it couldn't last long and soon, Billy was parking the car again, but this time, he wasn't waiting for her to get in: he was waiting for her to get out.

"Is this really necessary?" Sarah asked as her eyes landed on the massive white house.

"You tell me, you were the one to ask me to bring you here."

Sarah frowned as she studied the property and realised her parent's car wasn't in the driveway.

"They aren't even here; maybe I could just come later or something..." she tried, but Billy's hard stare told her otherwise.

"You've been talking about this shit for two fucking weeks, pretty. Either you go in there now or you don't. I got shit to do; I ain't got time for this."

Sarah took a deep breath as she tried to keep her anger in, but Billy's constant mood swings were getting impossible to handle and she was tired of being treated like she was always in the way. If he felt like he was wasting his time while he was with her, he just had to say it, not act like an asshole until hell broke loose.

Instead of saying something she knew she would regret, Sarah just opened her door and stepped out quickly, trying to stay as far as possible to this idiot she called her boyfriend.

"Sarah!" she heard him yell from behind her, but she decided to ignore it and started walking towards her front door.

She thought he'd let it go and just leave like he always did when things weren't working the way he wanted them to, so she was surprised to hear his door open and feel him grabbing her arm, spinning her around to face him.

"Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you," he ordered, but Sarah's expression didn't change. She was emotionless, which she knew he hated when they were having an argument because then he couldn't get anything out of her.

"I thought this is what you wanted. You wanted me to leave so you could go wherever you want to go where I'm not allowed. I'm doing you a favour, I don't see where the problem is," she explained with a hint of sarcasm. Billy felt every muscle in his body stiffen as he head was screaming for him to squeeze the arm he was still holding harder, but with some unknown energy allowed him to let go as he sighed.

"Are you really doing this now?" he spoke, his face turning in a frown. Sarah stared into his eyes and realised how tired he looked. His eyes were bloodshot red, heavy purple bags laid under them and every blink he did seemed like the hardest thing to do. No wonder he was such in a bad mood: he was working too much and not getting any sleep. The young girl sighed as she realised she was being a bitch to him when all he wanted was to get his shit done without having to deal with everybody else's.

"I'm sorry, but you always act like I'm a burden to you and - and I don't know, I feel like you're getting tired of me or something..." she rambled. She didn't want to spit everything out to him now, knowing there was already tons of things more important he had to take care of before her small teenage problems, but there was only so much time a girl could stay silent. "If you don't want this anymore, just say it."

It was true; something about the way Billy acted said he didn't want this anymore. The relationship. Being with her. Only her. It seemed like just spending a couple of hours a week in her company was a mountain to climb, another useless, long and painful thing he had to get done in his day.

"I want this," Billy disagreed, taking a step further so his face was closer to hers. "But not like this. I'm tired, Sarah. I'm so fucking tired and you're not helping."

The young girl felt her heart sink as she realised he was right: she wasn't helping at all. Sarah brought a hesitant hand on his chest, feeling it heaving as he stood firmly in place.

"I know. I'm sorry," she repeated in a small voice. Billy took her hand between his fingers and squeezed it lightly before bringing it down with his.

Instead of commenting, he leaned forward to give her a soft kiss that she didn't even get the time to respond to before he pulled away. She was about to complain when she noticed the sly grin spreading across his face.

"What?" she wondered, getting curious of his sudden change of attitude. Billy licked his lower lip and brought his face closer again to speak in her ear.

"Forgiveness ain't gonna come that easily," he said, whispering. Sarah raised an eyebrow and step backwards so she could see his face.

"What do you mean?"

"You gotta give me something in exchange," he explained always so maliciously. At that point, Sarah was started to get scared and she was wondering what game he was playing.

"Like what?" she asked. Billy took another step forward to get his face on the side of her head again.

"You got that shit off now," he started. "So you're free to do whatever you want... that you couldn't do before," he continued, and the more he talked, the fastest her heart was beating. What was he talking about?

"Just tell me what you want," she demanded, getting irritated.

"I want...you."

Sarah leaned back again to study his face in confusion.

"You already have me."

Billy shook his head slowly, still keeping that goofy grin across his face, which was scarier than anything else.

"I want more," was all he said, and Sarah had difficulty taking her next breath. This couldn't be good. "Don't be scared, it's just me."

Sarah scoffed while bringing her head down to look at the ground. That's why it's so scary, she wanted to say: it's you.

"Don't worry, I'll show ya how it's done," he added, letting go of a chuckle as he brought he head forward to kiss her shoulder.

"I don't know if I should be afraid or excited," she admitted, getting him to chuckle again. He didn't comment on it and kissed her neck instead, traveling it with his lips. Sarah couldn't really concentrate on anything when he did that, which was an advantage for him at that very moment.

Billy brought his lips on hers once again, this time giving her a kiss she could respond to. There was no doubt he was already excited about "showing her how it was done", but Sarah was quick to remind him they were still standing in her driveway with her parents threatening to come home at any minute, while he had to be some place she didn't know and she had to talk to her parents about the whole moving thing. Now was not the time.

"You have to go," she told him, panting after such a kiss. Billy still had his eyes closed and for a minute, she thought he was sleeping.

"I know," he responded, sweeping her thoughts away. But, instead of leaving right away, he pressed his forehead on her and opened his eyes. "Tonight."

Sarah stayed silent for a moment as she understood what he meant. Tonight, they would get to explore what had been forbidden since then.

"I don't know when I'll be there, but I'll come see you," he continued, and Sarah only nodded to show him she was hearing him.

"And I'll force you to sleep," she joked, and he chuckled softly before nodding.

"Do that, I need it," he confirmed. It was Sarah's time to chuckle before he spoke again. "But before sleeping, I need to evacuate all the energy I have left," he added.

He accompanied his comment with a playful smile, which Sarah responded to with a smirk.

"I'll make sure of that as well," she promised, getting Billy's smile to widen.

"Good."

[...]

Sarah felt anxious when she walked inside her house, the door creaking as it closed behind her. She knew she had an important conversation to have with her parents, but just the thought of it made her stomach twist. They couldn't bring her back to Canada; there was no way that was happening. There was nothing good she could remember of it after what had happened with her brother. If she went back, it would be just the same.

"So _that's_ why."

Sarah jumped when a familiar voice spoke from the living room. She brought a hand on her chest, trying to steady her breathing while she turned to see her mother standing by the window, looking straight ahead with the curtain held up above her head.

"Mom, you scared me."

"Did I?"

Sarah took hesitant steps towards the room, trying to get her mother's attention, but the older women wouldn't turn her head away from the window.

"When I saw the car wasn't there, I just thought you and dad were out," her daughter explained. Denise just nodded without moving.

"Your father had to go to the office for the afternoon. He'll be back later."

It was Sarah's turn to nod and the room fell silent, only the two women's breathing breaking the tension building between them.

"And I thought you'd learn," Denise finally said, turning around to face her daughter. The cold tone hit Sarah right in the chest and left her speechless for a second.

"This is different," she tried to justify, but even her mother could see how unsure she was.

"It's always different with you, but in the end, it's all the same."

Sarah scoffed as she sat down on the couch, finding it hard to stand in front of her mother. She was more than tired of everybody lecturing her on what to do or not to do, what she'd done wrong without ever mentioning what she did right.

"I didn't come for this," Sarah commented, placing her elbows on her knees to support her upper body.

"I'm not surprised. Ever since you could talk you were always running away from your responsibilities, and you expected others not to complain and do as you said. It's funny, I always seem to forget how selfish you are."

Sarah's eyes scanned to room, being unable to hold Denise's stare. The comment could have hurt her if she wasn't so used to hearing such things from her mother. After a while, it just didn't mean anything.

"Thanks mom, that's very nice of you," Sarah spoke sarcastically, still looking away. "As I was saying, I just came here to see if you changed you mind about selling the house."

"No, we haven't," Denise replied, walking quickly towards the coffee table to replace some magazine that had been left open. "In fact, potential buyers are visiting later today, if you'd like to stay to greet them. A man named Mr. Hume I think he said... Yes, Nicholas Hume, that's it. I spoke with his wife on the phone yesterday, a very charming women she was. They have two sons, eleven and nine, great kids she said. But that's what they all say, isn't it?"

Denise chuckled, her back facing her daughter as she piled the magazine meticulously. She had always been somewhat of a clean freak, Sarah's dad making it a habit of complaining about it. But after a couple years of marriage, he realised it wasn't getting better with age, and he just let it go.

Sarah frowned as she watched her mother walk around the living room, still talking about that Hume family, but she wasn't really paying attention anymore. All she could think of was that her mother sounded like a crazy person sometimes, now more than ever. She was speaking with so much passion, like every word she pronounced required all her energy, and yet, surprisingly, she still continued, nothing stopped her. Speaking everything that was on her mind seemed like a cure to her madness, while being the very expression of it. She couldn't stop.

"Mom."

Denise stopped on her tracks, staring ahead midway between the door and the couch. She turned her head towards her daughter, her eyes widening, like she wasn't expecting to see her there.

"I don't want to leave," Sarah said, but her mother's raised eyebrow expressed that she didn't understand. "I'm staying here. You go with dad back home; I think it's better for you. For us."

There wasn't anything more to be said then that. It was the truth, and even Sarah's very disturbed mother agreed with that. Ever since they came here, she didn't feel right. Denise is one of those people who are better living with what they know, because change just makes then anxious, scared, uncomfortable. Moving was in her daughter's best interest, but not hers, and it was time she let her go.

So she did.

[...]

"Damn, Emily, you're smokin' hot in this dress! What - ouch, that hurt man! What the fuck…?"

Joe waved his hands in the air as he stared at a very irritated Tommy. He quickly brought his hand back down to massage his shoulder where his brother's friend had just hit him.

"Don't talk 'bout my girl like that," he warned, pointing a finger at Joe's face.

"I was giving her a compliment, dumb shit! Jesus."

"Guys! I'm here, hello!"

The two men turned to look back at Emily who was still waiting for them, letting go of an exasperated sigh.

"Sorry babe," Tommy apologized. Joe just shook his head, getting tired of being given shit for talking about other people's girlfriends.

"So? It looks good?"

Emily turned around to show the back of the dress, the thin fabric gracefully shaped so her whole back was visible. Tommy bit on his lower lip, letting go of a smirk.

"Real good," he commented in a voice that spoke of his desire for the young women. Emily chuckled and faced her boyfriend once again.

"I knew you'd like it."

Emily walked towards him and leaned forward to give him a quick kiss on the lips. Joe rolled his eyes and looked away, uncomfortable with such demonstrations of affection, which was pretty ironic since he was always the first one to make out with some girl without giving a second thought about who was watching him. But this was different, it wasn't just physical, it was real love, and that wasn't something he was comfortable with. Never was, never would.

"Where's Sarah?" he finally asked, and the two lovebirds broke apart so Emily could reply.

"No idea. She left earlier today and I haven't seen her since."

"Wasn't she going to the doctor today?" Joe asked again.

"Yeah, that's true, she was. Well, if you knew, then why'd you ask?"

"'Cause it shouldn't take _that_ long. I thought you knew where she went after."

"Oh."

Joe shrugged and sat on the kitchen counter since he was standing next to it. Emily was still doing spins to show herself off while Tommy watched her, amused. Joe stared absently as the wall when the front door opened to reveal a scary looking Sarah.

"Hey," Joe greeted her, getting off the counter while she closed the door.

"Why is it that you're always here?" Sarah wondered, walking around him to reach the fridge. Joe watched her grab the milk cartoon and take a sip directly from the bottle. She waved it in his direction to ask if he wanted some but he shook his head.

"I just wanted to see you, been a while since we hung out," Joe explained, and Sarah nodded while she place the milk where she had taken it and closed the fridge.

"Yeah, sorry, I've been a bit busy."

"With Billy, I know," Joe completed her sentence, although it wasn't really necessary. They both hesitated before someone spoke.

"Well, are you doing anything tonight?" Sarah proposed, also turning to Emily and Tommy who had been listening to their conversation.

"I have a late shift at the diner and Tommy's working, but you two can hang out if you want," Emily said with a shrug.

"Oh, okay. You look great by the way," Sarah complimented her friend. Emily smiled warmly.

"Thanks. I had to wait a long time to have it on sale but it was worth it," she said, touching the fabric softly. "It's about time I got it, prom is next week."

Prom? So that's what this was all about, Sarah thought. The concept had just flown out of her mind since hers had happened now a year ago.

"About that," Joe started. Sarah looked back at him and waited for him to continue anxiously. "That's a little bit why I'm here. I can't hang out with you tonight, 'cause, you know, I got some other shit to do, but tomorrow's good," he spoke again, but Sarah didn't interrupt him just yet because she knew he wasn't finished. "But, um, would you go to prom with me?"

"What?"

"Prom. With me. I know it sounds crazy but I don't have anyone else to ask and you're my friend, so, you know..."

"Oh, so you're asking me because you have no one else?" Sarah wondered, raising an eyebrow.

"No! That's not what I meant - Jesus Sarah, don't fucking say that - I just, you know, I want you to come with me. Like friends. Just, ya know, just friends," he rambled, and Sarah couldn't help but laugh. Joe was the funniest thing when he was stumbling with words.

"I don't know, Joe. This may not be a good idea," she hesitated, and she could see disappointment wining over Joe's face as she spoke.

"Come on Sarah, I can't go to prom alone," Joe whined.

"Well, why do you even want to go in the first place?" she exclaimed, shrugging. By that time, Emily and Tommy were already gone, knowing this conversation had every chance of turning bad.

"What? Sarah, don't tell me you didn't go to your prom?"

"I didn't, and it never bothered me. I'm surprised you want to go."

"Fuck, Sarah, I fucking made it through High School. I didn't even think I'd get passed fourth grade, this is serious shit," Joe explained, and Sarah smiled.

"You underestimate yourself, Joey."

"Well whatever, I want to go. I wanna wave it in these fuckers' face that I made it, but I want you to come with me. Come on," he pleaded. Sarah sighed, feeling once again like she had to choose. Why was it always like that? Whatever happened, it always came down to choosing between Joe and Billy.

What would it be this time? Going to prom with Joe and deal with a very angry Billy or don't go to prom with Joe, have a happy boyfriend, but a very sad best friend.

"Fine, I'll go," Sarah finally gave in, knowing she would get in trouble for this.

"Really? Fuck yeah, that's what I'm talking about," Joe said, embracing her in a hug. Sarah shook her head as she held him back and smiled.

"But I'm not dancing a slow with you," she spoke, and Joe chuckle, breaking the hug to look at her.

"Ah, a guy can dream."

The two friends laughed softly before Joe had to leave to do whatever he had to do, and later it was Emily and Tommy who left the apartment, leaving the teenager alone.

Alone. Yes, that, she was. Soon she wouldn't even have her parents to look out for her; she'd be here with a couple of people she had met less than a year ago. They would be the only ones she could go to, the only ones she could count on. Her gang leader boyfriend and his gang.

"You didn't think it'd be this way either, did you?"

Nathan's warm smile was the only answer she could get, staring at the only picture she had brought here when she had moved her stuff. That's where she was: talking to a picture. Sarah grabbed it with hesitant fingers and let herself fall on her bed, her eyes not leaving the picture.

Jade, Nathan, Sarah. Smiling.

A long time ago, that felt real.

Sarah brought the picture on her chest, unable to look at it anymore. She missed them too much, the both of them. One was much further than the other but it was still the same: they weren't here with her. Because the Jade she once knew was dead as well, as long as the Sarah she used to be. A picture of three dead souls laid in her hand, pressed on her heart, a memory of what had once been and never would be again.

The dark thoughts still looming in her mind, Sarah drifted into sleep.

[...]

Later that night, Billy somehow ended up in Sarah's room, walking soundly not to wake her up. He knew Emily left the spare key under the front door welcome mat, like any other unoriginal person. It had only taken him a minute to find it and two more to get to her room.

His eyes landed on the young girl and he stopped on his tracks, taking a moment to watch her. She was having a troubled sleep, her facing turning into a frown once in a while as she turned slightly in different directions.

Billy took his boots off slowly, still trying not to wake her. He slid his shirt over his head and finally ended up in just his boxers when he approached Sarah, passing a hand on her face to get her to wake up without scaring her.

"Sarah," he whispered, hoping that would help. His attempt didn't change anything and her eyes remained shut. "Sarah," he repeated louder, shaking her shoulder softly. The young girl stopped moving but she seemed to still be sleeping. "Hey, pretty."

"That's more like it," Sarah's sleepy voice laughed before she finally opened her eyes.

"I thought you didn't like it when I called you like that."

"A girl can change her mind," Sarah justified, and Billy smiled.

"Girls always change their minds," Billy teased.

"True," she agreed.

Billy helped her take off her shoes and get under the covers, since she had been sleeping on them, before he joined her.

"You're wearing too much clothes," he commented, and Sarah chuckled.

"You're not wearing enough clothes."

"You complaining?"

"No."

The two chuckled as Billy leaned closer crash his lips on hers. He pulled away after a moment and kissed her forehead quickly before dropping his head on the pillow.

"'Night," he mumbled, closing his eyes.

Sarah raised an eyebrow, wondering if she was the only one to remember the conversation they had had earlier. Not that she especially felt like having sex, but she thought Billy would at least bring it up. He opened his eyes again, knowing she had been looking at him strangely.

"Sleep," he ordered without so much of an explanation, and she knew he wouldn't give her any even if she asked.

"Ok. Good night."

Billy held her closer against his chest as an answer and Sarah finally let herself close her eyes again. It didn't take long before she was, once more, asleep, and the last thought in her mind was that she was happy Billy was there, that they were both safe and warm and for the next couple of hours, and the only thing they had to worry about was sleeping. Once that was done, it was quiet.

**Thanks for reading, leave a review!**


	19. Eduardo, Robert and William

**Hey everyone!**

**It's been ages, I know, I'm sorry. I'm busy with school, what can I say, and when I'm not, I don't necessarily have the inspiration to continue this so... that doesn't help. Well anyway here's my new chapter, I hope you like it, because I do, I think it's one of my favourites so far.**

**Have fun, leave a review!**

The night Eduardo Garcia was born was a dark one. It was cold enough to shiver whenever the wind would blow, but since there was no wind at all, it was just static. It was like it was hard to breathe and the moon didn't seem to light the streets enough to see where you were going. Twenty four years later, it was all the same again. But Eduardo Garcia wasn't in his junkie mother's arms, safe and protected in the comfort of the temporary clinic down the street.

No, tonight, Eduardo was pulling a dead body down a dark alley, two streets away from where he was born. If the place hadn't changed with all these years, Eduardo was much different, so much that he didn't even go with the same name. Now, he was called Heco.

Not so far from where Heco was dealing with the corpse, a woman watched her boyfriend pace in the room with the phone on his ear.

"Who you callin'?" she wondered, lying on a semi-hard mattress.

"Nobody."

"Nobody? And do you usually talk to yourself like that or is this the first time?" teased the girl, her head falling on the pillow as she chuckled at the ceiling.

"Shut up," mumbled the man as he walked out of the room, taking wide steps away from his girlfriend. He reached the living room window as Eduardo reached the dumpster.

The garbage bag he had used to hide the body wasn't nearly strong enough for the weight of the dead man inside of it, and Eduardo had to hold it in his arms now instead of pulling it to be sure it didn't break. He let the corpse fall to the ground to open the dumpster when he felt his pocket vibrating, stating someone was calling him.

"Who the fuck-" Eduardo interrupted himself when he read the name on the screen of his phone. "Shit."

Looking around the alley to make sure he was still alone, he flipped the phone open and placed it on his ear. "Hey man, what's up?" he said in the most normal voice he could find, considering he was standing next to a man he had brutally murdered less than twenty minutes ago and that he was trying to hide him without getting caught.

"Is it done?" the man on the other line said rather hardly.

"Huh, well, I'm doing it now."

"What? Heco, you worthless piece of shit, you should be at the bar by now, I told you to-"

"I know! I know man, I'm trying! The dickhead's dead, I just need to get rid of him."

"Then do it! Be at the bar in an hour," the man ordered before hanging up, stopping anything Heco might have wanted to say.

"Do what?"

The man jumped when he heard his girlfriend's voice next to him, followed by her hand on his arm. He hated how she did that: silently walk behind him when he couldn't hear, when he was too focused in something to be aware of anything else.

"Jesus Sarah, don't do that," Billy sighed, hiding his phone in his pocket.

"Sorry. You just sounded upset, I was wondering what was going on," she explained, letting her arm fall down, knowing she should leave him some space.

"Nothing you have to worry about."

Billy was looking back at the window now, not taking any glance at her, never letting her think he was acknowledging her presence. She took it as a sign to walk away, which she did, taking slow steps to the left, leaving his side.

"Where you goin'?" he wondered, getting her to turn around and face him. His eyes were piercing through her now, his head bending down oddly from the right as he watched her intensely.

"To the kitchen," she replied, shrugging. Billy stayed silent, still in the same position, his neck tense from it's current position, but also from all the stress. He finally let go of a small sigh and righted his head, his features growing softer, his eyes never leaving hers.

"Come here."

Sarah hesitated before she did as she was told, taking quicker steps to reach the place she had occupied some seconds ago. When she stood next to him, Billy pulled her in front of him by the bottom of her shirt, getting her to face the window as he stood behind her.

"There's somethin' I need to do," he informed her, circling her with his arms around her waist, letting his head rest on her shoulder.

"Ok."

She knew better than to ask questions, certain Billy wouldn't answer them anyway. She was used to it now: him leaving somewhere she didn't know with people she didn't know doing things she didn't know. He didn't have to apologize, all he did was hold her, gently, for a moment, before he left to let her know he'd come back. And that was it.

"D'you wanna come with me?" he asked, his hold growing stronger against her small body.

"...Can I?"

"Yeah, that's why I'm askin'."

Sarah's eyes grew wide as she realized what Billy was saying. For once, she'd get to see something. It probably had nothing to do with the dealings, she knew he would never let her be the witness of anything concerning his business, but it must have been something important. Well, more than going to the bar and to the diner anyway.

"Sure. Yes, I'd like that."

"Then get ready."

Billy kissed the side of her head softly before walking away, heading for his coat. Sarah followed shortly, barely hiding her excitement. It was hard for them to do anything together lately. With Billy's position as a gang leader and the growing tension in the streets including other gangs and police interventions, there was only little time she could have to see him.

Both ready, they left the apartment silently, Billy locking the door once his girlfriend was walking in the hallway, taking quick glances at him to smile slyly. He shook his head as he chuckled, watching her almost run her way out of the apartment complex.

And when they had made it to Billy's car, the dead man had made it inside the dumpster. Eduardo could barely hold his dinner in due to the smell of the garbage mixed with the brand new rotting corpse joining it, all that was enough to turn his stomach around a couple times and he was more than happy to be leaving this place.

Walking down the alley, taking paranoid glances around him, Eduardo Garcia found himself thinking of his mother. Just two blocks away, twenty four years ago, she had given birth to him. Had fed him, cared for him, loved him. She probably wouldn't think much of him if she saw what had become of him now.

But that didn't matter, because Eduardo's mother was dead, and what she had once been and thought of him was gone, along with any love he had ever received from anybody. Her body lay somewhere, buried with other mothers, children, lovers and thieves. She had the same value as the shithead down in the dumpster, a junkie like her, a murderer like her son.

It was only a matter of time before he joined her. Whatever he did, whoever he was, he would see his mother again. So why give a shit?

They would all end up in hell anyway.

[...]

Robert Brooks didn't live in the shittiest apartment of Stockely Hall. He didn't have the shittiest friends and he certainly didn't live the shittiest life. However, tonight, Robert was in the shittiest mood, and the beer in his hand, being the fifth in less than an hour, proved it easily.

Half drunk and pretty miserable, Robert was barely awake when loud knocks echoed in his apartment, stating someone was at the door. Sighing, he stood up to answer as if doing so was the hardest thing ever, even though he'd been waiting on his friend to arrive for the whole evening. He was almost angry at him, as it appears, since he should have been there much earlier than that. Yanking the door open, Robert fell face to face with Billy Darley, standing all tall in the frame of the door, no emotion betraying his features. Robert's gaze went to a much smaller person behind him, a girl, hiding at Billy's side. She seemed unsure of what she was doing, but that didn't stop her from smiling widely when she met his eyes.

"Hey Bodie," she saluted him shyly. Billy's head turned for a second to look at her, like he'd just realized she was there, before he looked back at his best friend.

"Aren't ya gonna let us in?"

"Yeah. Come in," Robert let out nervously, stepping aside so Billy and Sarah could enter his small apartment. Since the women was the last one to enter the room, she was the one who closed the door, giving the two friends time to make it to the living room, starting a conversation she couldn't hear.

Staying behind, Sarah walked slowly, acknowledging every detail of the apartment. The front door led, like Emily's place, directly in the kitchen, which was, unlike Emily's, disgusting. Bodie didn't seem like someone who cooked, but the kitchen told her different: he could cook, he just couldn't clean. Sarah continued walking and finally made it to the living room where she was surprised to see Bodie, alone, standing in the middle of the room. He looked crazy, the beer in his hand, huge dark bags under his eyes, his gaze fixed on a point somewhere in the distance.

"Bodie, are you alright?" she wondered, staying far enough from his shaking body. Her words broke his trance and his eyes landed on her, horrified.

"No. I mean yes, I- I'm fine," he rambled, trying to smile, which he didn't succeeded in. Seeing she wasn't convinced, he continued. "Ya don't have to worry, girly. About anythin'. My boy Billy here, he gon' take care of you. Ya don't have to worry about it."

The young women nodded slowly, unable to say anything else. Bodie seemed so strong normally; like everything was fine and he had no care in the world. Or his world had just dramatically turned upside down, or he had been very good at hiding his emotions and now it was all pouring out, Sarah didn't know.

All she knew was that in front of her stood a man she had never met before, a broken man she pitied.

"And who's taking care of you?" Sarah finally asked, her voice breaking after a long silence. Bodie's face didn't change, probably being too drunk to understand the question. He just blinked repetitively before smiling sadly.

"Me?" he laughed. "I'm doin' great. I don't need- I have to take care of someone. Me. Should be me. Nobody ain't gonna take care of me."

"Ok," Sarah agreed quickly, knowing she'd set him off. Stating the obvious didn't seem like a good thing with these guys. "I just... I'm sorry. I thought maybe you needed someone... I don't know."

"I do," Bodie interrupted her, waving his beer as he spoke. "I need- I want her, a girl. She's mine, you see? But she won't have me! Can you believe that? That bitch."

Sarah shook her head, agreeing with him, even though she knew nothing of the story. But Bodie was far too drunk for her to argue with him about anything.

"You ever been rejected, girly? Huh?"

"Yes."

Bodie took a pause, taking a swing at his beer before shaking his head himself. He scowled, studying her up and down.

"Nah, ya haven't. Ya don't know shit about rejection."

Sarah was about to reply that yes, she did know what rejection felt like, but Billy appeared from one of the bedrooms, carrying a huge box with multiple small things on the top. He seemed annoyed and exhausted and Sarah knew just how much he was close from exploding.

"I got all your shit. Let's go."

Bodie watched Billy make it to Sarah side, pretending he wasn't aware of her shocked face when she realised the box he was carrying was a baby bed and on top laid baby supplies, like diapers and stuffed animals. Without changing her features, she grabbed the loose items Billy asked her to take before heading for the door, nodding in Bodie's direction as she went. Billy let the box fall to the ground for a minute to share a gangster like handshake with him before he could leave.

"Thanks man," Bodie said and they pulled away. Billy only nodded before grabbing the box and following his girlfriend outside.

Billy placed the box in the trunk of his car before getting behind the wheel, barely looking at Sarah who was eager to understand all this. She was waiting for him to explain, but it looked like it wasn't going to come by itself, so she had to ask.

"Ok, can you tell me what the hell is going on?" she said, taking a glance at the smiling teddy bear on the back seat.

She watched her boyfriend drive in silence, knowing he did want to answer, but he was searching for the words to speak it correctly. It sure seemed like a serious subject so she understood he wanted to explain it right.

"Bodie knocked up some girl," he finally announced with a shrug. Sarah scoffed, not because of what he said but because of how he said it, taking so much time to say something so plain and simple. Bodie had gotten a girl pregnant, that was obvious. But it didn't explain why Billy had to take all this stuff somewhere.

"Yeah, I think I had gotten that part. But why-"

"She pulled a restraining order on him. He was drunk, she was pissed, they bitched. Shit happens."

"He hit her?" Sarah exclaimed, not believing Bodie could do something like that. Yes, they were bad people, but she'd never heard of them hurting their girlfriends. However, she thought, she'd never really heard of any of them having a girlfriend in the first place.

"Nah, I don't think he did. She just got scared, is all."

Sarah took a second to assimilate the information before she nodded, still shocked to hear that. She started to feel stupid for having pitied him before now that she knew what kind of a person he could become.

"So now he has a kid?"

"Yeah. Now he has a kid."

"Wow. And you're taking this to the mother because he can't?"

"Yeah."

"Wow. That's nice of you. The both of you."

Billy's eyes lingered on her thin frame as she looked out the window, lost in her thoughts. Still now, he was wondering if he was doing the right thing by bringing her along. Bodie didn't want people to know what had happened to him, and therefore, Billy didn't either. However, Sarah was his girlfriend and he knew she wouldn't judge them. If anything, she might help going there. He'd never really gotten along with Bodie's girl, so if Sarah was there, it might ease the tension. Maybe.

"But wait. Baby supplies are very expensive, how did he manage-" Sarah started, but stopped herself immediately. She didn't want to assume instinctively that Bodie couldn't afford to buy his child what he needed, or that he was poor. The apartment and the way of living led to this conclusion, but it would be a little rude of her to say it plainly like that.

"We got a little extra money," Billy simply replied, not commenting on what she had said. The wheels started turning in Sarah's head as she wondered how they could have gotten more money lately, knowing every week was a run to the finish with other gangs and different payments, and debts, and dealings. There was no way in hell they could have gotten more money just with what they usually did.

"The robbery?" she finally spoke, realization reaching her brain. It was all making sense now: the only way they could have gotten all that money was from doing something they didn't usually do: robbing a grocery that is. It was only a dramatic coincidence that it was the very same robbery that led her into getting shot. Of course, a man had to die and her cousins had to get traumatised for life so that Bodie's kid had a bed. "I can't believe this."

"We all got different priorities," Billy shrugged, not taking his eyes off of the road. "That's what Bodie did with his share."

"What did you do with yours?" Sarah wondered. Billy hesitated before he spoke.

"Got some things sorted out."

Sarah waited for him to elaborate, but knowing this was all she would get, she turned her attention back to the road as well and the rest of the drive was silent.

Less than two minutes later, Billy pulled up in front of a small house, bringing the car to a stop.

"We're here."

Sarah felt herself shiver as Billy's words flew out of his mouth, like he was announcing the most depressing news. They were just making a delivery, why did it sound like they were going to war?

They both walked slowly to the front door of the house, Billy holding the very heavy box once again, and Sarah trying to keep the forty five other items in her two clumsy hands. At the second ring, a woman appeared at the door, dressed of a simple summer dress embracing her generous curves and tightening at her tiny waist. Sarah studied her flattering features, her caramel brown skin and her wide green eyes with an half opened mouth. This girl was gorgeous. Her perfectly placed curly dark hair circled her face gracefully and Sarah caught herself thinking that if she'd been a man, this was the girl she'd set out for. She was just too beautiful. This couldn't be Bodie's girl. And yet, it was.

"William?" the woman said with a pretty low voice, kind of like Sarah. The young girl felt her boyfriend stiffen at the mention of his name but he did his best not to let it show.

"Allison," Billy answered politely, which surprised Sarah. She turned to the woman once again and smiled warmly, trying to make a good impression.

"Who's she?" Allison asked rudely, nodding in Sarah's direction like she couldn't answer herself.

"Sarah," Billy said simply, always so polite. Allison's eyes widened as she studied Sarah as the other had done earlier.

"Sarah, huh? Billy Darley's infamous girlfriend. I thought you'd be prettier," Allison commented, her body leaning on the door frame. She let go of a lopsided grin, staring at Sarah furiously.

"Thanks...?" Sarah replied, unsure of what to say. It was clear that Allison was trying to piss her off, but she wasn't sure why and if she really wanted to know.

Everything made sense when a familiar face appeared behind her and smiled when she caught sight of big bad Billy at the door.

"William!" Megan exclaimed with the fakest look of surprise ever known to mankind. "What are you doing here?"

Sarah watched Billy as he tried his hardest not to roll his eyes, or at least sigh as a sign of his annoyance. He'd hoped she wouldn't be here. He glanced at his girlfriend who only raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to get out of the mess he had created.

"Yeah, what the hell do you want?" added Allison before Billy could say anything. It was clear they both weren't welcomed here; well, on Allison's part. For Megan, it was a whole different story.

"Bodie gave us shit for ya," Billy finally said letting the box fall down at Allison's feet.

"Baby stuff," Sarah felt the need to correct, since Allison hadn't even glanced at the things they were bringing. She kept sending death glares at the both of them, giving them attitude.

"Yeah? Well tell him to go fuck himself sideways!" Allison shouted, getting Sarah to jump. The scream must have woken the baby up because a loud cry erupted from behind her and she let go an exasperated sigh. "Shit. Wait a minute, I'll be right back," she excused herself, leaving them in the door frame with Megan.

"So Billy," she started, taking Allison's place in front of the couple. "You're doing Bodie a favour? Wow. That's like, so generous of you."

Billy nodded, trying not to seem too uninterested. Sarah was watching the two, doing her best not to laugh. It was obvious that this girl was getting on Billy's nerves more than anything, and she took great pleasure to watch him get exasperated, only as revenge. That's what you get for trying to make me jealous, dickhead, Sarah thought evilly.

An awkward silence set between the three as Megan just looked intensely at Billy, making sure not to show in any way that she was aware of Sarah's presence. In her head, it was just him. The tension was unbearable, so much that Sarah was relieved when Bodie's bitchy girlfriend came back with a now calm baby.

"Great. Now she's awake and she won't sleep for hours," Allison complained, but Sarah paid no attention to her anymore. She was more interested in the tiny little girl in the women's arm, the cutest thing she'd ever seen. Probably because she looked so much like her mother, without the bitchy attitude and the funny looks. It was just this small, innocent, beautiful little girl with dark brown skin and big, intense green eyes. Sarah couldn't help but smile looking at her, which got the baby to smile too, revealing a cute grin, Bodie's grin.

"She is so beautiful," Sarah breathed out, still looking at the little girl, luckily for Allison whose features had softened at Sarah's compliment, almost smiling herself. She quickly got herself back together, remaining emotionless.

"I know," she spat, getting Sarah to look back at her.

"I know you know," Sarah spat back, getting tired of being treated like shit.

Another silence filled the atmosphere and Allison had to break it once again.

"So, William, you gonna take that in the house or what?" she said, emphasizing the question with a typical girly head movement.

"If you moved your ass, I could," he replied, getting impatient. Allison scoffed and stepped aside so Billy could enter the house and walked straight towards a room like he knew exactly where he was going. Megan took what Sarah had in her hands before she could say anything and turned around to join Billy wherever he'd went, leaving Allison and Sarah alone.

Allison kept watching her with intensity, like she was trying to find the answer to a question by looking directly in her eyes.

"What's her name?" Sarah finally asked to make conversation.

"Madeline," Allison replied coldly, surprised that Sarah was so interested in her child.

"That's pretty," Sarah said with a small smile.

"Thanks."

Allison wasn't sure how to react to such calmness from the girl standing in front of her. She was usually better at pissing people off, but Sarah pretended like everything was fine. She was just too nice to her.

"Your little 'too good for you' nice girl act ain't workin' with me. I know girls like you. Ya ain't as sweet and innocent as you look," she spat hardly. Sarah just raised an eyebrow and scoffed.

"I never said I was sweet and innocent. As a matter of fact, I probably wouldn't even be here if I was. And I wouldn't know that you're little tough attitude is bullshit. Your little bitch act, 'it ain't working with me'," Sarah mimicked, getting Allison to frown.

"You don't know shit," she said taking a step back to watch her up and down. "I've known William since he was eight, Megan since he was ten. We know how he rolls. Ya won't last two months."

"We'll see," Sarah smiled; making sure Allison was annoyed as hell by now. If that girl thought she could scare her away just like that, she was to be disappointed because there was no way in hell she was leaving. She was here to stay.

Allison, as Sarah expected, seemed enraged, but instead of simply insulting her like Sarah thought she would, she took a step forward, getting closer to Sarah's face.

"Listen to me, you bitch. I may not like him a lot but Billy's been a part of my life since I can remember, ok? A lot of people have let him down, and he's been treated like less than shit more times than _he_ can remember, so don't you fuck this up," she started, getting Sarah's smile to fade. Now this was getting serious. "He used to have this girl, right? A good girl, kinda like you, except, she was from here."

"And?"

"Well-" Allison started to explain, but she was interrupted by Billy and Megan coming back from the room, the man being more annoyed than ever.

"Let's go," he told Sarah before he had even gotten to the door. Sarah sighed, wanting to know what had happened with Billy and this girl, but she knew she couldn't. Billy went directly to the car without so much of a goodbye to anyone.

"See ya Billy!" Megan shouted at his back as he was halfway to the car. He just turned around and glared at her before he continued walking.

"Remember what I told you," Allison whispered at Sarah before closing the door of the house, leaving her breathless.

She finally found her senses and joined Billy in the car, heading for the bar. The drive was silent, Sarah knowing he was pissed, probably due to the ten minutes he had spent with Megan alone in the room. Sarah wasn't worried about anything, but she was curious to know what had happened. Unfortunately, they were already there and she had no time to ask.

The couple made it into the bar, receiving a welcome by a few people, the others being out working. Heco was there with Baggy and Joe, along with Emily and Tommy.

Emily and Joe immediately stood up to greet them.

"Hey roommate, what's up?" Emily smiled, hugging Sarah briefly.

"Err, not much," she lied, turning to Joe who was also waiting on his hug. He held her enthusiastically before dropping her back down with a grin.

"Hey Sarah, I was thinking we could go shopping tomorrow," Emily proposed, the three of them walking closer to the back table.

"What for?"

"Your dress."

"My dress?"

"For prom! Jesus, Sarah, did you forget about it?" Emily exclaimed. Sarah's mouth dropped as she realised that, indeed, she'd agreed to go to prom with her boyfriend's brother.

"What?" a husky low voice cracked from behind her, freezing her on the spot. "Why the fuck would you be going to fucking prom?" he continued, but Sarah was too scared to look at him.

"I take it as you haven't told him," Joe commented, facing his brother nervously. "I-uh- I invited her. To go with me."

"You did what?" asked Billy again, his voice shaking. Sarah knew his face must have been red by now, his nostrils flaring and his eyes widened. Silence took over the table as everybody realised Billy was angry. Not a good thing. "And you said yes?" he turned to Sarah before he could tear his brother apart.

Sarah finally got the courage to look at him, but the second she met his eyes, she wished to hadn't. He looked like he was about to kill her. Literally kill her.

"Just as friends," she breathed out in the smallest voice. Sarah felt her heart stop beating as Billy let go of the scariest laugh she had ever heard.

"Friends? When have you two ever been _friends_?" he shouted, getting closer to her. His fists were tightened and Sarah was getting ready to receive a massive punch, but he suddenly stood still, staring at her like a mad men.

And then he stormed out. And as loud as Sarah's screams were, pleading him to stay, William never looked back.

**Thanks for reading, leave a review!**


	20. Old Friends & Enemies

**Hello!**

**This is chapter 20 =O Which officially makes this the longest story I have ever written. So I want to thank everyone for reading my story and leaving me reviews, it means a lot to me and I greatly appreciate to see people who enjoy reading what I write. I feel this story is coming to its end, although I still have a couple chapters to write. I am, as many others have before me, considering a sequel, but I would like to know what you think about it first. So leave a review! Thanks =D**

**That being said, I hope you like this chapter. Enjoy!**

As children went to bed, parents lay on the couch to finally relax after an exhausting day. While the sun set and the city went to sleep, the streets of Boston awoke, and the underground business was getting ready for another night of work.

Which meant Billy Darley and his gang were out in the hood, making deals, trying to keep it low even though it was rare any cop would hang out around here. Everybody knew that the streets were too dirty to be completely washed clean. There would always be scumbags ruining it all.

Talking of scumbags, Billy could see one in the corner of his eyes. The man was watching him, not making any effort to hide himself. He wanted Billy to see him, and for that he did, but he still didn't walk in his direction. Instead, he waited for the tattooed gangster to finish his deal, knowing interrupting one was a one way trip to meeting Billy's gun, and end up six feet under the ground by the same occasion.

Once Eddy, some underage punk with a tattoo that said 'fuck yourself' on the side of his neck (he was a very charming guy), left with his fix, the man found it an opportunity to step forward. Billy lit his cigarette, ignoring the other's presence until his body finally appeared under the halo the only light under the bridge created.

"Well, look here. Ain't it little William Billy Darley sellin' his shit like a man," the man said, letting go of a low chuckle. He passed a hand through his slicked back hair cockily before taking one last step towards Billy. The gangster finally met the man's eyes while taking a long drag of his cigarette.

"Nice to see you too, Alex," he commented in a broken voice, his face not betraying any emotion.

"Last time I saw you, you was just a little punk hiding behind yo' daddy. You grew up, man. What's it been, three, four years?"

"Five," Billy corrected, finishing his cigarette and throwing it on the ground. Alexander chuckled again, hiding his hands in his jeans' pocket. A minute of silence forced Billy to speak first. "I thought you lived in Detroit now."

"I did, for a while. I missed home," he laughed, and Billy cracked a smile before growing serious again.

"What d'you want, Alex? I heard some shit 'bout you," he said, emphasizing his imposing stature by leaning back. Alexander stopped smirking as well and readjusted his coat nonchalantly.

"I heard some pretty nasty shit 'bout you too, Bill," he grinned, walking around under the light. "Ya got your own gang and shit?"

Billy sniffed, trying to compose his annoyance which resulted in ignoring the question.

"I heard you deal with B-Street now. After all this time, I thought you'd get tired of sucking up to the boss. Guess I was wrong," he teased, his mouth cracking into a playful smirk. Alexander forced himself to chuckle even though it was clear he found nothing funny about this.

"There ain't no boss no more. Didn't you hear? Got killed last week. Patrick Callahan, that Irish guy," Alexander informed him without ever trying to hide how satisfied he sounded. "Ya wouldn't know anything about that?"

Rhetorical question: Billy knew everything about it. In fact, he had been the one to order that kill, going as far as giving this very important mission to Heco. To be honest, he didn't think the guy would pull it off, but he had been pleasantly surprised that night to hear that he had succeeded. Now that Callahan kid was probably somewhere amongst rotten food and broken furniture, decomposing with the rest of the garbage.

"Yeah, I heard 'bout it. Shame," Billy lied without hiding his smile. Both men chuckled for a minute, sharing a secret that didn't need to be told. "That what you came for?"

Alex's face fell, although he tried to remain confident as much as he could. Right now, standing face to face with one of his best friends from childhood—a guy he had hated as much as he had liked—he wasn't as sure of himself as he used to be. Billy was a man now, even if Alexander had expected to meet that teenager he was when they had gone their separate ways. And now even if he was back, they still weren't on the same side.

"I lead now," Alex confirmed hesitantly. He was getting a little freaked out now that Billy knew they were two opposite gang leaders, alone, facing each other. Anything could happen.

"So? Ain't my fault you forgot what side you're supposed to be on. If you came here for some kind of bullshit like peace, you can go back to your shithole right now. There is no such thing as peace here," he spoke in a clear voice, showing he was not intimidated by the man in front of him in any way.

"For old times, man. We used to be cool, us two," Alex tried, his voice almost shaking.

"Old times are over. The only thing I'll do for fucking old times is not shoot a bullet through your fuckin' skull right now. Get the fuck outta my turf before I change my mind," he ordered, turning away, his fingers itching for his gun.

"Alright man. You better watch your ass then. I'm hitting big," Alexander commented in a last attempt.

"You ain't hitting shit, now get out!" Billy shouted, turning his head enough so he could send him a death glare, which proved to be enough to make Alexander leave without adding anything else. Billy reached for his gun, which was safely placed in his belt behind his back, but stopped himself at the last second.

Leaders didn't kill each other by shooting in the back. They had the decency to shoot them in the face, or just send someone else to do it.

It was much more respectful that way.

[...]

Sarah took one last step towards the apartment building's parking lot before stopping, hesitation taking control of her body. Billy was pissed, she got that, but it was getting time for a conversation. They hadn't spoken in two days now and she felt he was making a huge deal about something that really wasn't that bad at all. She was just going to prom with Joe, nothing more. Sarah had ten times more reasons to believe Billy would cheat than he did, but as always, she was the problem.

Furthermore, now that her boyfriend was definitely enraged at the fact that she was spending this very important evening with his brother, she knew even less what to do. Before Billy had known about it, she knew it was a risky business, but now that he did, it was also a threat to the whole relationship. That was maybe a little too much just to make Joe happy, while on the other hand, she couldn't understand how that could be a bad thing.

"Well don't you look confused," chanted a womanly voice at Sarah's right, and the young girl turned her head to face no other than Megan, her butt resting on what seemed like Baggy's car. She hadn't realised she wasn't alone, and that this girl had been watching her thinking for a whole five minutes. "What's wrong, princess, was your mommy mean to you?" she continued when Sarah didn't say anything. The young one bit on her tongue, trying not to take all her frustration out on the other. She knew it wouldn't help anything and she had far more important things to deal with than Megan's bitchy attitude.

"Yeah, Megan, that's _exactly_ what happened," she finally spoke, forcing a smile towards the girl, getting her to scoff.

"Really? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought Billy had dumped you 'cause you was fucking his brother. I mean, that would explain that horrible frown on your face. You should seriously consider stopping that, sweetie, you look like an old woman," Megan ranted, an ugly evil smile appearing on her face once she was finished. Sarah let go of an exhausted sight, unable to hide her annoyance towards Baggy's sister. Didn't she have other things to do than to bug her?

"Thank you, that's very comforting. Why are you here anyway?" she tried changing the subject, having no energy what so ever to talk back to this pathetic woman.

"Baggy's taking me to a tanning salon for my birthday. It's tomorrow, but I really want it now," she explained, having lost Sarah's attention at 'taking'. "But Billy wanted to talk to him so we came here first and then he'll take me."

"How interesting," Sarah sighed again, to make any effort to hide her sarcasm. Megan frowned at her tone and stood up from her sitting position to get closer to her.

"Of course I wouldn't expect you to be nice to me for once and wish me a happy birthday," she whined, getting Sarah to break out in laughter.

"Megan, I think you mistake me for someone who gives a fuck," she commented, still smiling. Megan's features turned into anger as she continued walking towards Sarah.

"You're really an idiot, you know that?" she said, pursing her lips together as she studied her up and down.

"Yeah, and why is that?"

"Because, Sarah, when you want to cheat on your boyfriend, you try to fucking hide it. Now, I don't know why you would want to cheat on Billy, 'cause let's be honest, he's one amazing fuck buddy right there, and with Joe of all people, what the hell were you thinking? The guy is so tiny, he's look like a fucking adolescent-"

"He _is_ an adolescent, Megan," corrected Sarah mid-sentence.

"Shush, that's not the point. Point is: you're crazy to cheat on a guy like Billy, and to do it in his face, that makes you a moron, too. Hell, even _he_ hides it with you. You should feel lucky, you unappreciative brat," she finished, getting inches away from Sarah's face as she talked.

"Wait, what? What's that supposed to mean?" Sarah worried, Megan's words echoing in her head. _Even _he_ hides it with you._ Was Megan insinuating that Billy was a cheat?

"Why, honey, you didn't really think he was faithful to you, did you?" Megan laughed, her high pitched voice cracking into Sarah's ears. "Oh my god, you did!" she exclaimed, acknowledging Sarah's face, a face of pure horror. Megan could hardly hide her surprise after having figured that out, but also her amusement to Sarah's reaction. "You are so pathetic."

"And news flash: you're a bitch!" Sarah couldn't help but shout while trying to control her extremely fast beating heart as realisation started to sink in. She couldn't believe how much of an idiot she had been to believe any word that asshole could have said to her. He had said he could be faithful, but that was a lie, obviously. He had said he cared for her, which must have been a lie too.

"Calm down, sweetie, it ain't my fault you can't satisfy your man. See, I'm just trying to help here, bitch, no need to scream at me!" Megan defended; unaware that Sarah really wasn't listening to her at all. She could only stare in the distance while Megan talked about god-knows-what, pissing her off by every word she pronounced.

"Megan, please, why don't you just fuck off and die?" Sarah replied, getting the other to stop her ranting and let her mouth drop. A simple suggestion, followed by a nonchalant shrug.

"Excuse me?" she asked, even though she had heard everything Sarah had said.

"Just saying. You should seriously consider doing that, pal," she continued.

"Oh yeah? Well hear this!" Megan started before she took one last step towards Sarah and rose her hand up in a fist, clearly in the process of punching her. Sarah had only the time to shift to the right and let Megan hit an empty spot before she was faced with another, this one hitting her stomach.

She brought her hands on her belly while trying to take a breath of air, any possibility of breathing having gone with the punch.

"I'm getting tired of you, Sarah! Really fucking tired of your stupid sweet face with your stupid sweet manners, you stupid bitch, always taking everything from me! People think you're the shit, but I know what you are, you slut! You're a whore! Just another fucking whore and nobody gives a shit about you!" yelled Megan, spitting every word in Sarah's twisted face. "What d'you have to say about that, huh? Fight back, you wimp, come on!" she continued while Sarah was finally able to take a breath.

"I would, hon', it's just," she spoke, breathing in once again as she finally stood straight, trying to steady her breathing. "You're not even worth it," she concluded, her face lighting into a lopsided grin that looked exactly like one Megan knew perfectly. She was taken aback for a second before she assimilated what her enemy had just said. And without even thinking twice about it, she raised her fist again.

But this time, she had calculated the hit. Her fist made contact with Sarah's still weak shoulder with much more force than the first punch, resulting in Sarah falling on the ground, a loud scream leaving her lips. It broke the silence of this quiet day with the same intensity her skin had ripped under the pressure of the bullet. She was living the pain and the fear all over again. For a second, she couldn't hear anything and Megan's figure was a blur, her only thought being that she had been wrong to believe that the pain of getting shot couldn't be surpassed. The pain of knowing her boyfriend cheated on her and then getting punched and screamed at by the very first person who was trying to steal him from her was much worse.

"Megan!" a voice echoed through the parking lot, but Sarah's couldn't bring herself to believe it was who she thought it was. Megan's name was called again, this time even louder, but it seemed to come from very far away still. "Get your ass in the car, right now!" the voice continued, screaming as loud as its anger could let it.

Her hand on her shoulder, Sarah was unaware of what was happening for a moment. All she knew was that Megan had left her view and had probably listened to the voice as it had seemed she was now in her brother's car, away from her victim.

And Sarah could only wish that whoever had ordered Megan to leave didn't come for her, feeling horrible after such an episode. How she wanted to rip Megan's head off. How she wanted just to be able to defend herself, which wasn't the case. Sarcasm and well placed words could lead this far, but when it came to fighting, she had nothing to hold onto. She felt weak and lost for energy, and anybody witnessing this moment was more embarrassing than anything else.

But, as always, the worse happened.

"Are you okay?"

Sarah sighed deeply as she lifted her eyes up to meet Joe's as he looked down on her, clearly worried. He tried to grab her and get her up but she instinctively waved him to let it go, and in no case even touch her.

"I'm fine. I am perfectly fine. Just don't- don't touch me, Joey, please," she begged, getting herself up while frowning in pain.

"You sure?" he insisted when they were at eye-level, even though she refused to meet his eyes. She was too busy looking down, hoping to make herself small enough, in the hope of eventually completely disappearing.

"Huh-yeah. Yeah, I'm good," she repeated, replaced her clothes like it was no big deal, when really she was seconds away from running away without ever looking back.

"I can't believe she did that. I mean, that was low, to hit on your shoulder like that. She knows you were shot, everybody does," Joe commented, turning himself to he could check Megan out, her pouted face being visible at Baggy's car window.

"Yeah well, that's Megan for you. Goodbye Joe."

Without waiting for answer, she started walking back from where she had come from, taking much more confident steps now that the only thing she wanted was to go back home, hide in her bed and pretend she had never even existed.

"Hey! Where you goin'?" he shouted at her back, but she didn't turn around to reply. She kept on walking, hoping he would just let it go, but who was she kidding? This was Joe, after all. "Sarah, come back, Billy wants to talk to you!" he continued, and this time, she really stopped.

"Well tell him that I don't give a fuck about what he has to say to me, alright? Tell him he's an asshole and I never want to see him –" she started, turning around to look at him while she screamed, but the rest of her sentence got stuck in her throat once she was fully facing him.

One, she hadn't noticed Billy's dark figure watching her from his balcony, having probably heard everything she had just said because of his proximity that she hadn't calculated and how loud she had spoken. Two, Joe's face was horrifying. Having only seen him briefly while standing, she had failed to realise his busted lip, his bruised jaw and eyebrow and his freshly bandaged broken nose. Only one person could have done this to him, and she knew exactly who that was.

"Joey," she breathed out before walking the remaining meters between them. She held his head with her hands, examining his wounds by gently turning it from left to right. It wasn't such a good idea to do it directly in front of Billy, but at this moment she didn't really care. "When did this happen?"

"The night Billy found out about prom. He came home at three in the morning, wasted as hell, and he woke me up to beat the shit outta me. Very fuckin' nice," he explained, releasing his head from Sarah's grip.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It ain't your fault."

Sarah nodded and kept on looking at his face, unable to do anything to help him while she felt it was all her fault he was hurt like that. Why had she even accepted to go to prom with him in the first place? She knew Billy would be mad. She knew he would try to seek revenge.

She had just never thought it could have been on Joey instead of on her.

"How long?" she finally spoke.

"How long what?"

"How long. For how long has he been cheating on me, Joe?"

It took the young boy a couple of seconds before he said anything. First, his eyes popped out of their sockets and he hesitated a little bit, unable to put into words what he was about to say.

"Wh-what? No! I mean, I don't know... I didn't know he was- I didn't see anything," he ranted, his head turning in every direction, mostly towards his brother who was too far to hear them talking.

"Don't bullshit me, Joey. I know."

Joe let go of a long sigh before he spoke again, incomprehension showing all over his face.

"Listen, Sarah, I don't know. I thought he was true this time, I really did. Who told you he was cheating?" he wondered, but Sarah shook her head.

"Forget it, I'll just... I wanna leave," she said, but she had no time to move because Baggy was now walking towards them, leaving Billy's apartment to go to his car.

"I wouldn't do that if I was you," he commented, reaching the driver's side. He stopped a second to look at her with what seemed like a pleased smile. "He's pissed."

"Well fuck him," she replied on the same tone, stating how much she didn't care about Billy's feelings at the moment.

"Fuck me?" a voice repeated, and Sarah felt her heart sink as she realised Billy was no longer on his balcony but right behind Joe, where she couldn't have seen him coming. "You go behind my back with my brother and now it's 'fuck me'? Yeah?"

And there it was. The accusations. The murderous looks, the clenched fists, bloodshot eyes, nose flaring. Billy Darley at his best. He was obviously waiting for her to defend herself, but somehow, and she couldn't quite explain why, she didn't feel like it. Billy could talk all he wanted, it didn't change she was faithful. _She_ was faithful. Had always been, had no intention of not being in a close or distant future. She was perfectly satisfied with just having him. Just him.

"Well?" he insisted. By this time, Joe had taken a step back, no longer hiding Sarah's view. He was standing there, facing Baggy who had found it necessary to stay, to see what would happen with them probably, how they'd sort this one out. How the hell did they sort all their fights, anyway?

And Sarah still didn't say anything; she just kept staring at him. That's what she always did in those situations, when he'd start bitching about whatever, even if half the time, he knew he was wrong. She'd just stare at him, and after a while, he backed down. He understood there was no point anymore.

As the three of them stared at her like she had gone mental, Megan had found it useless for her to stay in the car, and was now coming out of it like it was no big deal she had just punched Sarah only minutes ago. If Billy and Sarah were going to officially break up, she wouldn't miss it for anything in the world.

"Get in there." Billy pointed at the apartment complex behind him. Sarah shook her head.

"No."

"Sarah don't force me to get you in there myself. You know I fucking will."

"Try me, Darley," her cold words echoed in the parking lot while Billy only raised an eyebrow. Sarah didn't know if her mind was playing tricks on her if really he seemed amused by this.

"Oh really?" he chuckled bitterly, taking a step towards her, glancing at Baggy who had also been surprised at her remark. Sarah had always loved to go against what Billy said and test him just to see what he'd do, and he had always been a little annoyed by it, without however ever trying to hide he actually liked it, but it was the first time she did it while they were in a fight. They had to be on a good track to kid around like this, not on the verge of breaking apart. Even Baggy knew that.

"Fine," Sarah blurted out when Billy took his second step. Somehow reality had just hit her and she knew what would happen. Billy would make a fool out of her by forcing her in, and she wasn't ready for another embarrassing incident after what had just happened with Megan.

"Fine what?" he wondered, stopping on his tracks.

"I'll come up with you," she specified, and Billy let go of a satisfied smirk.

"There ya go," he said, almost turning away to walk back into his apartment before he was stopped by his girlfriend's voice once again.

"If Joe comes too."

Billy eyes met hers ever so slowly as his jaw clenched instantly at the mention of his brother's name. The fact that he was still even there was a miracle; Billy had almost kicked him out after all this. He loved his brother, he really did, and of course he was far more important than any girl out there, but it was the disrespect he couldn't get over. If Joe had come to him to confess how he felt about Sarah, and if Sarah had felt the same, he would have been pissed, but he would have gotten over it. Now Sarah didn't share Joe's feelings, and moreover, Joe had never mentioned his to anyone but her. He'd just gone behind his brother's back and had tried to get the girl without asking first. That's not how brothers were supposed to handle situations like this.

"Sarah, I don't think that's –" Joe started before Billy could even say anything. It wasn't even sure he would have anyway; he just didn't know what to say after such a demand other than 'fuck no!'

"Please," she begged him for a second time in ten minutes. Joe almost hesitated to even lock eyes with her, knowing he couldn't refuse anything to her when she looked at him like this. He couldn't help but think that it wasn't him she should be begging, it was Billy. And while she was turning her head back to him, she clearly heard a muffled laugh to her right, getting her to look at Megan.

"What's so fucking funny?" Billy snapped, glaring at the girl. Megan's smile instantly faded as she met his eyes, growing smaller in a second.

"I – uh, nothing, she's just... Nothing, Billy, I'm sorry," she apologised, sounding like she was going to stop talking, but she didn't. "I mean she's got the nerves, you know. To ask if Joe can come, after cheating on you with him. Right?" she tried.

Billy eyes didn't divert from her tiny stature as she gulped, unsure if really she should have tried to save herself. Sarah wasn't sure either.

"Joe's my friend," Sarah justified. She wasn't trying to say she hadn't cheated on Billy for once, she was just explaining why she needed Joe with her. But of course Megan wouldn't see it this way.

"Yeah, right, he's your friend. And I'm the Queen of England. Grow up, Sarah, really," Megan spoke while rolling her eyes.

Sarah remained silent for a moment and finally smiled sadly at her rival, who didn't seem so horrible anymore. She never had, actually, she wasn't a threat. Just an annoying know-it-all, who, because she was pretty and could catch boys' attention, thought she was the shit and everything belonged to her in the end. But if Sarah had learned something over her teenage years, it was that nothing really belonged to you, and things happened for a reason. What she had, she could lose, and she shouldn't take anything for granted.

And she had been so scared to take Billy for granted that she had taken everything as a threat, even Megan and her lies and her pathetic child games. It was all about finding the right balance between the two, and she had somehow forgotten that. She turned her head towards Megan slowly and smiled once again.

"I _have_ grown, Megan. Maybe you should, too," she finally said before taking her first step towards Billy, smiling at Joe while passing by him. He nodded in her direction and let himself fall on the hood of Billy's car, stating he'd be waiting there until she came back.

She followed Billy to his apartment as he walked slowly in front of her, glancing in her direction once in a while to see if she was catching up, or if she was even still there. With Sarah you never knew.

Once they had made it into the room, Billy stayed back to close the door behind her and waited until she was sitting on the couch to walk towards her and stand facing her, his features softening at the sight of her there, just being who she was. Small slim thing with the big eyes jumping from a wall to another, like she was discovering the place for the first time or just making sure everything was still the same.

"So?" he finally said before clearing his throat, realising his voice was cracking for some reason.

"What do you want me to say, Billy?" she asked, sighing. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have agreed to go to prom with Joe without talking to you first. I apologise for that. Now I won't say I'm sorry for wanting to spend a great night with my best friend, because that would be a lie."

"I know," Billy nodded, which got Sarah to stop talking. Coming here, she had no idea Billy would say something such as this. He was actually agreeing with her. How did that happen?

"What?"

"I know," he repeated. It seemed like the biggest effort to even pronounce these two words. "I talked to Joe."

"You did?" she asked again. It seemed all so easy all of a sudden, like for once, she wouldn't have to be the one to make concessions to set a problem. "Maybe you should've thought of that before beating the shit out of him."

Billy sighed deeply, already annoyed, before he repeated himself once again. "I know."

The couple stayed silent for a minute while Sarah didn't quite know what to say anymore. She had prepared this big speech of how much of an idiot he was to even think she'd cheat on him, with his own brother, but now Billy was actually admitting he was wrong. What was there more to say?

"Then why'd you talk about going behind your back with brother of you knew it wasn't true?" she wondered, as Billy scratched his head, thinking about his answer.

"Because you were being a bitch and I had nothin' to say, you happy?" he spoke rather loudly, finding it hard to admit he had been lost for words for an instant. "Why were you being a bitch anyway?" he continued she could even say anything to the first question, which wasn't really one.

"Megan said..." she hesitated, looking down at her lap. How could she be asking this? Even if she did, how was she to know he was telling the truth?

"Megan said what?" Billy asked, getting impatient.

"She said you were cheating," Sarah finally spoke really fast, still not being able to look at him. She was surprised when he didn't say anything and all she could hear was his breathing, until a loud bang got her to raise her head up quickly to realise he had just punched the wall, leaving a deep apparent hole of the size of his fist in it.

"That bitch!" he shouted, ready to punch the wall again. Sarah stood up, thinking she might stop him from doing so, but he stopped himself at the last second, controlling his breathing as much as he could. "I told her if she did that I'd fucking kill her!" he continued, speaking at the wall, or at himself, not at her.

"So you did?" Sarah's voice broke as she felt her eyes watering. Billy head shot in her direction as if he had just realised she was there.

"No," he spoke surprisingly softly, still breathing heavily and looking like a madman. He shook his head to add to his answer while Sarah just stood there, unsure.

"Then why-" she started, but he interrupted her.

"She wanted me to. Never got over me, that freak. She said she'd tell you I'm a cheat if I didn't have her. One last time she said. Fuckin'... fuckin' freak," he repeated, sighing, as he glanced at the whole in the wall. He always seemed surprised of how unable he was to control his temper.

"But you-"

"I didn't," he specified, meeting her eyes once again. "Come here," he spoke more softly, motioning for her to step closer. She hesitated a second before she could actually find her legs and reach where he was. Once she did, he pulled her into a hug, circling her waist with his strong arms as she let herself rest on him, before ever so slowly holding him as well. Billy buried his face in her neck and sighed again, kissing it softly before raising his head to look at her. "You know I wouldn't do that, right?"

His eyes scanned her face as she opened her mouth to answer and closed it quickly, not having anything to say yet. Did she?

"Do I?"

"Pretty," Billy started in disbelief. "I told you. I said- I fucking said I'd be true, I said it, I remember I said it," he rambled, and Sarah nodded.

"I know, I remember too."

"Then what the fuck is that all about? You think I'm a liar?"

"No, no, I don't think you're a liar," Sarah defended. Billy grabbed her chin between his fingers and rose her head up so he could really see her face, since she had been looking down for half of the conversation.

"Don't you trust me?"

His eyes were so blue at this moment exactly. No river, no lake, no ocean could be bluer than Billy's eyes, and could get her to lose herself as much as they could. Losing it, that's exactly what it was. She was simply losing it.

"Yes, I trust you."

Falling for Billy Darley sure wasn't easy, but it happened, and Sarah was the living proof of that.

She had fallen in love with him, and now there was no going back. The kiss that followed made sure of that.

"I won't go," she announced after a moment, where they had finally broken apart and her eyes had finally opened.

"Where?"

"To prom. If it bothers you, I won't."

Billy sighed as his face went hiding in her neck once again. "Nah, just go."

"What?" Sarah spoke, backing away from him so she could actually hear him correctly.

"Go to Joe's stupid prom, alright?" he repeated, already annoyed at his decision.

"Really?" she squealed, her face now wearing the brightest smile she could afford; a huge and happy one.

"Yeah," she confirmed as he shook his head in disbelief. Was he really doing this?

"Thank you, Billy," she said, jumping to give him a hug, to which he briefly responded to. "Really," she added more seriously after she was back on the ground.

He just nodded and she found it an opportunity to turn away from him and run to his phone to call Emily and let her know about it, but she was stopped by Billy's voice.

"Not so fast."

She stopped on her tracks, midway through the living room, raising an eyebrow. She realised what was happening when she saw his face.

"Ok, what do you want?" she sighed, expecting his victorious smile as a reply. However, he remained serious, and just smirked slightly at her annoyance.

"The story," he said.

"What story?" she wondered, her expression turning into confusion.

"_Your_ story, Sarah," he explained, his smirk growing wider. Sarah gulped as she felt her heart start beating faster.

"I want to know everything."

**Thanks for reading! Leave a review.**


	21. Nathan

**Hello everyone!**

**I am so so so so sorry for not posting this earlier, in was the end of my semester and I had absolutely no time to do anything, i'm really sorry.**

**But now, now it's over :D It's summer for me so I'll be posting much more often, although there is only four chapters left to this story, but still.**

**Also, I decided not to do a sequel, not now anyway, and instead start this other story I've been thinking about. I don't know when I'll post this, but soon enough since I don't have school anymore, yayyy!**

**Enough said, this is the next chapter, which is a flashback, so it's not like the other chapters. I hope that explains some things as to Sarah's past and that you all enjoy it. It's not a very pleasant chapter to read, since it's about pretty bad stuff, but I hope no one has a problem with it. Thanks for reading, leave me a review !**

If there's something I find annoying as hell, it's walking on the grass with high heels on. For one, you just can't walk straight because the heel just digs in the mud, which is very likely to make you fall flat on your face. Then, you get your feet all dirty because it almost gets sucked in there with the shoe. No really, not a good idea.

However, here I was, walking in the forest in the highest heels I had ever experienced, under the influence of alcohol, and pretty damn pissed, if you want to know the truth. The reason was simple: I had just witnessed my boyfriend clearly flirting with some girl in my English class. I didn't even know why she was here in the first place, since there weren't many people of my school here at all, it was more of an underground party than a high school party, but she was there anyway. A high school party would have been in a decent place, like a house, where that girl would have been much more comfortable than here, trying to get with my boyfriend.

So much for a fun night.

I could see Jade from here, beer in hand, nodding at someone, looking bored as hell. I couldn't see who she was talking to, since a tree was blocking my view. I was almost at the meadow where she was standing, the only open space where the party was held. It's where the keg was and most of the people hung out, and where I had been for a while before I had gone looking for my boyfriend in the woods.

Maybe I should have just stayed there.

"So the guy turns to me and he's like, 'Hey dude, did you see that shit?' And I'm just like, 'Yeah man that was awesome!'"

Jade's face remained emotionless as she studied the guy in front of her, waiting for some kind of a punch line to his story while realising that he was finished, and was just laughing at his own joke while she held back a discouraged sigh. I knew she regretted coming here, but I had told her a million times this just wasn't a place for her. She had insisted; now she had to deal with her decision.

I took a step forward so that she could see me appear, and within a second she had, and was now silently calling to me with panicked eyes to do something to steal her from the guy's attention. I couldn't blame her; he did seem boring.

"Sarah, hey!" she called to me, seeing I hadn't done anything yet. I found myself obligated to walk to her, which I did, trying to smile at her while finding it impossible to do so. Right now, my boyfriend was probably making out with the girl in my English class.

"Jade, Marc, how's it going?" I asked casually, because I truly just wasn't all that enthusiast to be there either.

"Marc was just telling me about this time where he -" she started to explain, but Marc didn't let her continue.

"Me and Danny were just chillin', you know –?" he started, but it was I who interrupted him this time.

"Marc, I'm sorry, would you excuse us for a sec?"

Marc seemed to hesitate. He was obviously disappointed not to be given the chance to repeat his wonderful story, but Jade made it clear that she wasn't by letting go of a relieved sigh this time.

"Uh, yeah, yeah, I'll uh, get some more beer," Marc said.

"Yeah, you do that," I agreed, and my cousin and I walked away from him without another word.

"Such a pain in the ass," Jade commented while we sat on a wood bench near the camp fire. It was spring now, but it was still pretty cold and I was happy there was at least a source of heat near the place to keep me from freezing on the spot in my mini skirt.

"Uh, yeah," I agreed while staring at the flames and it didn't take much more than that for Jade to figure out something was wrong with me.

"You okay?" she worried, and I didn't raise my head to answer her.

"Nope. Lucas' being a dick. He's out there, getting some with Monica."

"What?" Jade exclaimed, almost dropping her beer in the process. I glanced at her while she composed herself not to seem so weird to others, since some had turned in our direction, wondering why she was screaming out of a sudden.

"Whatever," I mumbled, tossing a dead branch in the fire.

"Sarah, what the hell? You're just gonna let him cheat on you?" she continued shouting, but lower than the first time.

"There's no proof he's cheating on me, alright?" I snapped, realising how stupid I sounded as I said it. I just couldn't keep lying to myself.

"I've had enough of this," she sighed, putting her beer down as she spoke.

"Of what?"

"Of you. You're not you anymore. Ever since that stupid party where Catherine convinced you to dress like... like a slut. I'm sorry but you just look like a slut!" she explained, her features contrasting with her harsh words by softening as she stared at me.

I looked down at myself, trapped in a white camisole showing my dark bra underneath; with a leather mini skirt way too short for anyone, matching with my black shoes. I did, indeed, looked pretty much like a slut. It's what had gotten me all my friends. It's what had gotten me my stupid drug dealing boyfriend with his shitty ass friends who were as thug as I was a fairytale princess. It was just pathetic.

"Great. Anything else?" I snapped.

Again, being a bitch. How could I be like this to her? To myself? It was clear something was wrong, and yet I couldn't see it. I was keeping myself blind to my surroundings, only giving importance to what should have been the last thing on my mind. I could blame everyone else for making me like this, while I knew deep down it was only me who was responsible for it.

"No. I just want you back, that's all. The old you. The one I could look up to."

It was the first time that it hit me. I was her model; she looked up to me to become someone better. She wanted me to approve of her and here I was, being mean and incomprehensive, and everything I had always feared to become.

"Well, she's gone. I grew up, shit happens," I shrugged.

Jade scoffed beside me, causing me to look at her.

"You didn't grow up at all. _This_ is not growing up. And when you actually grow up, Sarah, you'll look back on today and realise how much of a fucking moron you are right now," she spat at me.

She finished by standing up and leaving me there, completely lost for words, unable to even put my thoughts in order as to what my younger cousin had just said to me. How much of a disappointment could I be to her if she had to call me a moron for me to get it?

"Fine," I breathed out, before standing up as well, walking towards the woods again, determined to get lost in them. I drowned my beer in a single sip, which wasn't the best idea I had ever had, but at this point it didn't really matter anymore. Now that I was the biggest disgrace to my parents and had been let down by all of my friends, Jade was just the icing on the cake. I thought I had nothing to lose.

How naive I was.

[...]

"Why do you have to be such a bitch all the time?" shouted Lucas at my face as I took a step back, getting away from him.

I had been walking for less than ten minutes when I had bumped into him, zipping the front of his jeans casually, when his eyes met mine. Guilt had passed in them, just a split second. And then he was back with his idiotic grin, which had always made him look more like a dumbass than anything else.

"Me, a bitch? Really? You're the one fucking around, and I'm the bitch?" I screamed back, too drunk to even consider finding a pertinent come back to his never-ending insults. No need to explain that I had made the mistake of mentioning how Monica had seemed loosened up after I had met her less than five minutes ago.

"Where the fuck did you get that idea?" he spat, getting closer to me again. I had to admit I was slightly scared of him when he did that, not only because he was so much bigger than me, but also because his various tattoos and spiked up hair did nothing to soften his look.

"Oh please, I've never complained about the shit you put me through, but don't mistake me for a fool, Lucas. I know what you do when I'm not around, alright? Just 'cause I don't say anything doesn't mean I'm blind."

Lucas seemed to calm down after that, and his hard features soften into more normal ones.

"Then why _don't_ you say anything?" he wondered as I found myself lost for words. If only I did knew why I just lived with it, why it didn't bother me, why I just didn't care.

Other than the fact that I just didn't care about him, period.

"Because, the very details of your life are mostly of very little importance to me, _honey_," I admitted, letting go of a low chuckle as I realised what I had just said.

"Yeah?" I nodded, still smiling. "Well then, it won't bother you to know that that little cousin of yours, that little fine thing, yeah? It won't bother you to know how hard I tapped that, huh?"

He thought he was so funny. I thought differently. In fact, the first thing that I did was hit him real hard on his nose with my whole fist. The first real punch I had ever thrown.

That felt good, if you didn't count the unbearable pain, both mine and his. The guy was pissed; he almost hit me back, with his nose bleeding and all. But he held back, and he just slapped me across the face instead. And after calling me a bitch a few times, he left me there, with my hand possibly broken, in the woods, pretty much lost.

A fine gentleman he was. I can't believe I actually lost my virginity to that prick.

I don't know for how long I walked, all I know is that it had gotten darker, and soon I wouldn't even be able to find my way back to the party. So I stopped, and sat on a rock near where I was, a big one so that I wouldn't fall off. The alcohol sank in my veins more than I had expected, and to tell you the truth, where I was and how dangerous it was to be there mattered very little to me.

As I sat there and thought of how weird it was that the moon could shine so brightly out of a sudden, I heard voices coming my way. In my state, I thought nothing of it, but when I finally saw who it was is when I finally got nervous.

They were Lucas' friends; two thugs I knew nothing of expect that I had to stay as far of them as possible. It was for them the party was held in the first place, I think.

Lucas was two years older than me, but he had been to my school, and was a drop out who'd entered a gang and tried to be somebody, when really he was nothing but a shithead rolling around in his car, pretending he had something to give. These two were part of that gang, and I knew Lucas wasn't nearly as scary as they were.

Real gangsters. They were not wannabes.

"Yo, Simon, see that?" one of them said. I recognized him now, his name was Jonathan, but people called him 'Jay'. We had friends in common; mostly people who'd once been to my school and had been expelled, had been sent to a public school and ended up in the streets. Lots of them made it, but a good percentage of them had fallen in the deep and uncontrollable abyss of the gangs. We had met in parties once or twice, mostly because of how Lucas seemed to follow them around like a puppy dog and felt obligated to bring me along once in a while.

"What?" the other turned to his friend and glanced at where he was pointing to, me as it appeared. We were only a couple of meters away from each other but it had gotten so dark that they could barely see me, and so did I, although my eyes had gotten used to the lack of light after sitting there for so long.

"Look at that. It's that Sarah girl. Lucas' bitch?" Jonathan explained. Simon seemed to take a while to understand, and he finally nodded when he recognised me, furrowing his eyebrows and leaning his head forward to take a good look at my figure.

"Ah, yeah, that's her man. Hey baby, what's up?" he nodded in my direction again, this time as a salutation, before he started walking in my direction. Jonathan soon followed and they ended both standing right in front of me, looking down at the top of my head.

"What you doin' here all alone, sweet thang? Got lost?" Jonathan asked, just as if he'd be talking to some kid, or even a dog. Yes, he was talking to me like he would be talking to his pet.

"I-" I hesitated. The sound of my voice made me realise just how drunk I was. "Yeah," I lied, because explaining how shitty I felt after fighting my boyfriend didn't seem so appropriate at the moment.

"We can help you find your way back, baby," Jonathan continued is a soft voice, a voice he probably rarely used.

"You'd do that?" I said, my voice cracking as I realised that I was putting up with his game. He was treating me like a kid, and I was acting like one.

"Sure we'd do that, right Simon?" he proposed to the other who'd remained silent, and had just been staring at me. Something about the way he looked at me made me feel uncomfortable, but there wasn't much I could do about it, and Jonathan was already pulling me up.

"Yeah," Simon agreed, and watched as Jonathan grabbed my arm. I winced when he touched my hand and he noticed.

"What's wrong, baby, did I hurt you?" he worried, although he never took his hand away.

"Yes," I answered, and I tried to pull away, bringing my hand on my chest. Jonathan let me, but the space between us didn't change, and Simon was on my other side now, watching the scene. "My hand hurts."

"Does it now?" Simon finally spoke, and he extended his own, silently asking me to place it in his. I hesitated, and not because placing my hand in his was a problem, although I didn't especially want to, but that's not why I thought further about it. It's his voice, it wasn't like Jonathan's. He spoke like him, but his face never changed, and his wasn't sweet at all. It was blunt and monotone, and the way he looked at me scared me to no end.

I put my hand in his slowly, as he kept staring at me straight in the eyes, not even blinking. He seemed in a trance, and that did nothing to make me feel better.

"Don't worry, Simon's not mean," Jonathan spoke in my ear, which gave me shivers. I could feel his breathing on my neck; it was so much colder than the wind. "Right Simon?" he asked again. The way he always asked Simon's opinion freaked me out.

"Right," Simon repeated, and he smiled in his friend's direction for the first time. Never had I seen such a horrible smile: it made my knees go weak.

"Hey there, baby, what's wrong?" Jonathan catched me before I could fall to the ground. His arm circled my waist, and my head ended up resting on his chest, forcing me to straighten it up. I didn't want to lie on him. Just as I did that, Simon squeezed my hand, something I had not expected, which made me scream in pain for a second. "Shush, Sarah, you don't need to scream!" Jonathan said, whispering now.

"But it hurts," I whined. There was nothing more that I could do. I was trapped in Jonathan's arms, Simon was holding my hand and I was drunk like never before: overall not a good mix.

"I just wanted to check if it was broken," Simon explained. I turned my head to meet his eyes and he smiled sadly at me. "And it is."

"Oh no," I spoke, turning to Jonathan to see his reaction.

"Oh no," he repeated, imitating me ridiculously. I heard Simon chuckle but I kept staring at Jonathan. For some reason he didn't scare me as much. "What are we gonna do?" he continued in the same voice.

"I don't know," I shrugged. "Can I go home?"

"Home? Did you hear that Simon, she wants to go home," Jonathan said. I turned my head to Simon now, which shook his head dramatically.

"I'm afraid that's not gonna happen baby," he informed me. I didn't quite realise what that meant after I took a second to replay it in my head. That's when the air got stuck in my throat, and my lungs emptied. All I could think of is that I didn't want to stay here with them. I wanted to go home, and see Nathan.

Nathan. He was home right now, for only three days. But I insisted to go to this party, because Lucas had said it was important. I could have been with my brother, but I was here, and I wanted to go home. I didn't want to stay with them. I don't want to stay with them.

"Why not?" I heard myself ask, my voice getting higher. My mouth was dry, and I could only stay there as I felt my body rushing with panic and fear. This wasn't supposed to happen to me. It only happened to others, people I didn't know. I pitied them, I was sad for them, but I wasn't them and they weren't me. This couldn't be happening.

"Why not?" Simon repeated. "I just don't want to let you go, that's why," he whispered in my other ear. The one Jonathan hadn't been whispering in, I mean. "You're a very pretty girl, Sarah, you know that?"

I tried to pull myself away from Jonathan's grip, but he held me closer, and Simon still had a hold on my hand, and I knew he wouldn't hesitate to crush it to keep me from moving.

"Don't need to be scared, baby, I don't want to hurt you," he said, but I didn't believe him, and I didn't really listen to him anymore anyway. I was busy trying to figure out how to get out of there, but my mind was racing so fast I couldn't think of anything that would work.

"Please," I whimpered. My eyes were full of tears now, I was more than scared. I could honestly say I had never been so scared in my entire life, and I didn't even want to think about what was probably going to happen. But I knew perfectly well what it was.

"Say what?" Jonathan said, getting his face closer to mine. "Sorry, I didn't catch that."

I whimpered again as I tried to push him away with my available hand, but that only force him to hold me even closer. "Please let me go."

"Let you go?" Simon repeated, speaking like I had just said the most insulting thing to him. He grabbed my face with force, to which I responded with a surprised grunt. He squeezed my face between his strong fingers and brought it near his, and I closed my eyes, like it could save me from it by doing so. "Hey, hey, look at me," he asked, but I kept my eyes firmly shut. "Look at me!" he practically yelled, spitting on me in the process. I finally did as I was told and locked eyes with him, freezing at the fear consuming my body. His voice got softer then, and he just spoke firmly to me: "You're not going anywhere."

And that was it.

That's when I realised it. And I screamed like I had never screamed before, forcing Simon to move his hand and block my mouth instead. Jonathan let go of me, giving his friend the chance to take my neck in his other hand and yank me on the nearest tree, so hard that I remember thinking that he must have broken my spine.

It hurt like hell, but I couldn't think further about it because Simon was trapping me against the tree with his body, his legs resting between mine, forcing them up. His hand was still on my mouth, but the other was now pulling my shirt up as well while he kissed my neck, disgusting dry kisses that made me want to scream even more, and I did, but any sound got lost in his palm.

My eyes landed on Jonathan. He was behind Simon, watching us. He looked like he was about to run away at any second, but he stayed there. His eyes locked with mine, and I pleaded him to help me. He did nothing but look around in panic, making sure no one was there.

There was nothing I could do. I could keep on screaming, but no one could hear me, no one could help me, no one knew where I was exactly. If they killed me - which they probably would, I knew them after all, I would have no difficulty identifying them - no one would know who it was.

No one would know who took my life away. All my family would know is what had happened of me.

Simon had pulled my top over my head. The brief moment when his hand had left my mouth would have been enough to give me a chance to scream, to try to get someone to notice what was going on. But I was frozen, and all I was aware of were Simons's hands on my stomach, his cold lips on my neck and on my mouth, and the horrible and uncontrollable goose bumps all of this was giving me. My body was literally shaking, I couldn't do anything with my arms, they were just hanging there, or gripping Simon's shoulders when he would squeeze me on the tree too hard.

And my mind was racing, not focusing on anything. Not even Nathan, not even Jade, not even my parents. I could think of no one, of nothing, couldn't think of anything but him, and what he was doing to me. My body couldn't escape, my breath couldn't escape, nor my voice, and definitely not me. I was starting to realise that there was no way out: I was going to die.

End of story.

He had promised. He had said he'd always be there to protect me. But never would I have expected to actually hear his voice, to hear him calling for me, one last time. The sound of his voice was like a kick: I had to get away.

"Simon!"

"What, what?"

He turned to his friend, who seemed horrified as his gaze went from behind him and to Simon. He had heard it too.

"There's people coming," he informed him.

"Shit."

Simon's face turned towards me once again and he looked down on me with a mix of anger and anxiety.

"Listen to me, now, baby," he whispered. I kept on looking at him, my eyes burning with hot tears who hadn't even managed to fall yet. His right hand went for his pocket and he took out a little metallic object I couldn't quite recognize until he flipped it open. "If you make any sound, any fucking tiny little sound, I'll cut your throat. Hear me?"

I had no time to answer; his attention went back to Jonathan who was still standing there, cursing under his breath.

I heard it again. So far, but yet so close. Nathan was here. Jade must have had called him to pick us up, and since I was nowhere in sight, they went looking for me. I know my brother would have never left without me.

I couldn't help it.

"NATHAN!" I screamed, as loud as my voice could allow me to. "Nathan, over here!"

I didn't care if Simon was going to kill me right now and then, at least my brother would be there. He'd be with me; he'd take care of me.

I could hear Jade's voice now, they were getting closer.

"Little bitch," Simon said. His eyes were wide open, he was staring at me like a madman. I knew I had definitely just signed my death sentence.

He raised his hand up, he was going to do it: he was going to slit my throat open. In a last attempt to save myself, I shifted to the side, trying to escape him, since he was now holding me with only one arm.

I slid from under his grip as his arm went down, the blade directed towards my head, but I was faster. Instead, he succeeded in cutting my arm from my shoulder to my elbow, but I was so panicked and in such an adrenaline rush that I didn't notice it at first.

It's when I started running for it and that Jonathan tripped me that I felt the pain: my fresh wound had been the first thing to touch the ground.

"Stop screaming you fucking bitch!" Simon shouted himself, not helping his situation. "Jay, do something! Shut her up!"

I painfully tried to pull myself up, but it was hardly working, my wounded arm wouldn't work for me and my other was shaking so hard that I couldn't position it correctly. My heels were digging into the ground as I tried to go forward; I just wanted to run away, but nothing would work.

"Maybe we should just get outta here, man," Jonathan proposed. He was clearly getting scared, and I wished with every ounce of energy left in me that Simon would listen to him, but obviously, he wouldn't back down.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

Simon tossed Jonathan to the side and dropped himself on his knees, one leg on each side of my body. Roughly, he turned me around so that I was facing him.

"No, please," I pleaded, a sob blocking my throat. For a second, I actually thought I was going to get away. That Nathan would find me and everything would be okay.

"No?" Simon laughed. He was obviously crazier than I thought. He was enjoying this: seeing me suffer, beg for him to let me go, see every sight of hope disappear from my eyes. What a freak. "Oh come on baby, you'll like it, trust me."

"No, please don't do this, please."

I screamed, I kicked, I hit, I even spit in his face: that only enraged him more. He slapped me, exactly where Lucas had earlier. I kept on screaming.

"Fine, scream all you want, you whore, you'll get what's coming for ya."

With that, he raised his hand up again, but this time to cut my skirt with the knife. Clearly the thought of just killing me had left his mind and he had gone back to his original plan: getting his way with me.

But I wasn't going to let that happen: I kept on fighting him until I finally heard the voice of the person I yearned to see.

"Sarah?"

My head turned in his direction instantly, and all I could do was scream his name in relief to just see him there. Our eyes met and that's when I realised how horrible it might have been to see me like this: half naked with a man on top of me, his knife pressed on my stomach.

"Who the fuck are you? Leave!" shouted Simon at him. Nathan was frozen there, and for a second he didn't say anything, he just stayed there, mouth opened. What could he do anyway? It was them both against him. Two gangsters, against my brother, and Jade, who was hiding not far behind. They were here to save me, and I had hoped for them to get to me in time with all my heart, and now all I wanted was for them to leave.

"Jay, kill that sunovabitch! Kill him!" ordered Simon.

"NO!"

Jonathan turned to Simon with panicked eyes, his hands shaking while he didn't know what to do.

"What?"

"Didn't you fucking hear me? Kill that fucker!" Simon yelled at his friend. I was trying to get away even more than I previously did, which got Simon's attention to switch back to me. "Stop moving!"

"Let her go!" Nathan finally found his voice, taking a step forward. It was the first time I saw him so lost for words, and for actions. He didn't seem able to find his legs anymore. "Let my sister go, or I'll fuck you up!"

"Oh yeah? Hear that, Jay, that motherfucker wants to fuck you up. Aren't you gonna do something 'bout it?"

Jonathan seemed to hesitate a little more before he finally took a deep breath and took out his own knife, turning to my brother with what was an attempt at a proud smile.

"See you in hell, captain."

He ran towards Nathan as if he'd be escaping the burning forest, my brother didn't have time to do anything that Jonathan had tackled him to the ground.

From then on I couldn't hear any sounds. Not even Simon who'd been cheering for his friend, not even Jade who'd gone running, calling for help, not even my own desperate, heartbreaking scream as I watched my brother fall.

After a moment, Jonathan got up, panting, his head looking down at my brother. I couldn't see his face, I didn't want to. All I wanted was to see if Nathan was fine, but the man's body was blocking my view. I could only see his feet, they weren't moving.

I called his name too many times for me to remember. I screamed, I cried his name with the energy I didn't even have anymore, but he stayed still. Finally, Jonathan turned to Simon with bloodshot eyes, silently asking for something he knew no one would give him.

That's when we heard the sirens. Simon instinctively got up, leaving me where I was. He walked towards Jonathan and grabbed his arm.

"Come on, let's get the fuck outta here."

Jonathan looked back down at my brother, then at Simon who just pulled him further.

"Come on!" he repeated.

Jonathan finally did as he was told and followed Simon in the woods, leaving me behind, like I was nothing. Like I had never been anything but a distraction until something happened. I wasn't dead, but they left me for dead.

And to tell you the truth, I felt dead too.

I looked down at myself, my clothes completely ripped apart, my arm drowning in its own blood, my stomach the same, although I didn't even remember how that had happened. It must have been when I was trying to get away from Simon.

I looked back up at Nathan.

He still wasn't moving.

I turned around in an attempt to crawl my way towards him. He was so far, and I was so broken, but I made it. I got to him, I lay next to him. He was barely breathing. I called his name, he wouldn't answer.

By the time I kissed his forehead, he was dead.

**Thanks for reading, leave a review!**


	22. Caring

**Hi? So it's been like a year since I posted anything for this story, and I'm so very sorry about that. I completely gave up on this and it's just horrible because it's quite frankly the longest and best story I've ever written, and there's only so little chapters left that it just doesn't make sense not to try.**

**So here I am, posting this, this filler chapter that I felt was needed for what comes next. The next chapter is already written so I should post it sometime this week. Thanks for all of you who reviewed this story, followed it, liked it, followed me, you're all so nice and you deserve the end of this story. **

**Without further due, this is it. Billy isn't the Billy you know in this chapter but he's still in character I believe, or the character I made him to be anyway. Again, this is a filler, the real stuff happens in the two next chapters. Review if you like :)! **

"Don't be angry."

"I'm not."

His eyes said otherwise, but Sarah didn't push it. His stare was dark and focused anywhere but at her, his fingers tightened around hers with a strength he didn't realize he had.

"Not at you."

His voice was low and smooth, something she rarely recognized in him. It was usually dry and cold, a bark of orders thrown at everyone around him. But he wasn't like that with her, not often anyway. He was calmer, quieter, and even _sweeter_. More of a boy and less of the true man he was.

"It was a long time ago," she said, and Billy glanced at her with a sigh. "Don't worry about it."

Sarah watched in anticipation as his back met with the couch, turning his face to the left so his eyes come meet hers. By the time she was finished her story it had grown dark outside, but none of them had bothered turning on the light. His face was only half-lit by the window behind him and the shining of the moon, and she could barely tell whether he was truly angry or not. It didn't take much to know he was bothered, though. He opened his mouth, half a word coming out before he closed it again. He was speechless, and Sarah could understand that. In his place she wouldn't know what to say either. Hell, she didn't know what to tell herself at night when her chest painfully tightened at the thought of it.

"I wanna punch the wall again," he finally said, motioning at the recently placed hole in the wall. Sarah glanced at it with an uncontrollable smile tickling her lips.

"It's your apartment," she stated, and Billy didn't say anything.

He sighed once more as he dropped his head in his hands. He felt stupid. That soldier guy, from that picture in her room, he'd been jealous of him. He remembered being there while she was showering, grabbing the picture off her mirror and staring at it. Who was he? Why was he the only person she had a picture of? Who the fuck could be that important that she HAD to have a picture of him, when everybody else didn't matter?

It was her brother, who was dead, and she felt responsible for it. He'd been there, being all jealous and throwing a fit at her for going to prom with Joe, all because he was pissed at a dead soldier she thought she'd killed. And then he'd beat the shit out of his _own_ brother.

"What are you thinking?" she asked, squeezing his thigh. Billy's head rose up to look at her.

"What happened to them?" he answered with a question.

Sarah held a breath as she remembered the events. The interrogations and the trials and all of that, it all seemed so far away, so distant, because she had been, when it happened. She was numb from everything, and it had all seemed like a very bad dream.

"They were arrested and sent to jail on a guilty plea deal: three years for first degree murder to the one who..." Sarah felt a lump rise in her throat as tears blurred her vision, but she cleared her voice, ordering them away. "And two years for the other one. He's probably out already."

Billy mumbled a trail of curses under his breath as he shook his head, exhaling air from his nose like it would cool him down. It was weird to feel that way, hoping Justice would work better so that these sons of bitches never got out. But how many times had he been glad that it was the case, for his own sake and for his men? Billy didn't know how to deal with those emotions – if he even dealt with any in the first place – which made him angry. A lot of things made him angry after that conversation.

"Don't work yourself up over it, please?" she pleaded, but Billy shook his head again. It was too late already, that ship had sailed. "There's no use. I told you everything; it's done and there's no need to talk or even think about it anymore. It's fine."

"It's not fuckin' fine!" he spat, and his glare turned darker. Sarah jumped at the strength of his tone and let her fingers slide from his, pulling herself away. Billy's reaction was instinctive: from rage to softness in a second. He grabbed her hand again and pulled her closer, even more than she'd been before, until he guided her on his lap, his arms resting around her waist. "I ain't angry at you," he said again, and Sarah nodded.

"I know."

They stayed silent for a moment as Sarah only listened to his breathing, her head leaning on his, their foreheads touching. She could see his shiny blue eyes, partly hidden by his eyelashes, so bright and powerful she lost herself in them for a second. As if he could hear what she was thinking, he let his eyes meet hers and sent her a questioning look.

"Thanks for listening to me," she said, ignoring the look and trying to wrap up the conversation. Telling him all that was important and she knew she had to eventually, but she was also very glad it was over, and hopeful she wouldn't have to talk about it again.

"I asked," he stated, and she shrugged as a response.

"Still."

Billy nodded before his hand went to her thigh as he brought her body closer to him, letting an unfamiliar face linger on his features.

"Com' here."

Her pursed lips turned into a grin as he motioned her face closer and met her in a soft sort of kiss she had only tasted a couple times on him; including the very first they had ever shared. Sarah's smile didn't leave her face when they broke apart but Billy still kept a very serious face and never interrupted their stare.

"Look, I-" he started, and Sarah waited as he obviously stumbled to find his words. It was very unusual of him, mostly because he never said much and only talked when it really mattered, therefore when the ideas were already formed perfectly in his head. He was never the one to be scared of words. "I'm real sorry that- ya know, that happened."

"Billy," she cut him, shaking her head softly. He seemed confused, but she could tell he was pretty happy she hadn't let him finish, knowing he probably hadn't even known how. "Thank you but, I didn't tell you all this so you could be sorry for me. I told you because you asked and it's a part of me and I think you should know about it. But please don't say you're _sorry_ and look at me with those eyes, I can't. I can't."

She shook her head again, glancing at her fingers as she took a deep breath. If the image of herself in the mirror hadn't been hard enough to face, the image of herself in other people's eyes was worse. They looked at her like she was dying, like she was nothing but a sad mess, a broken sad mess who hadn't figured out how to glue herself back together. She didn't want people to pity her, to feel sorry for what she had been through, to think of her as just another victim of something horrible, like that defined her in every way, like she hadn't been someone before that or couldn't be after. She was passed being the victim now, and she was pretty sure she couldn't go through the regression of going back to it again. She couldn't.

"I know," he said, and her head rose back up to look at him. He glanced at her and then at the wall, obviously having a moment with himself that she couldn't understand. He clenched his jaw and exhale slowly, still staring into the distance. "I get it. Trust me, I get it."

And then she understood. He didn't want people feeling sorry for him either. It was obvious, in a way, his demeanor, his attitude, his life. No one could feel sorry for someone like him, no matter what kind of horrible things he might have gone through. There was nothing to do but fear him, hate him, or respect him. No place for pity there.

But his eyes couldn't lie and they were sad right then, as he looked down at his hands, his fingers softy playing with the fabric of her shorts, and she felt sorry for him.

Of course, she would never tell him that.

"I trust you," she said, and Billy scoffed, leaving his trance as he looked back at her.

"I mean it."

"Maybe ya shouldn't, pretty," he whispered, and Sarah smiled, biting her bottom lip dramatically.

"Oops."

Billy chuckled and shook his head, eyeing her with a look of disbelief. Sarah felt her cheeks warm up with a tint of red and she passed a hand through her hair, slightly embarrassed at herself. Her heart jumped at the thought of him even learning how she had caught herself thinking of her feelings for him not a couple hours ago. Her chest tightened as she pushed the thought back, trying to convince herself she didn't need those three little words to ever leave her mouth and let him know. She didn't, she thought, because Billy would never say them back.

She was interrupted from her thoughts when Billy's hands moved up her thigh and towards her hips, turning his so his body was facing her better. He brought a hand to her face and leaned forward, catching her lips with his own in another kiss, this one a little rougher than the other. Sarah expected him to continue but he stopped, on his way towards sitting back down in his original position. Her eyebrow rose up in confusion but it only took her a second to understand his restraint. After spilling everything out, death and almost rape and abuse and hurt, there was no way in hell he would expect her to be up for it. But having him listen to her the way he did, showing some compassion for once, being understanding, sorry even, had made her need him in more ways than one. That and the fact she was completely and utterly in love with him.

Instead of saying anything, she took the matter into her own hands, turning his face herself to crash her mouth on his in a passionate motion, taking him by surprise. His reaction only took two seconds, and after he was able to close his mouth, he met her in another kiss, entering her mouth with his tongue they way he imagined she waited for. She moaned against the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck to bring him closer as his hands positioned themselves on her hips to pull her to him.

Leaning even more forward, she let her weight fall on him, pushing him on the couch so his back connected with the cushions. Their kiss broke for only a moment to let her straddle him with her legs, sending a pleasantly surprised look on Billy's face.

"Fuck pretty, what's gotten into you?" he said, already panting, as Sarah only looked down at him with a grin.

"I want you."

Billy let a growl escape his lips as he smirked, gripping at her shirt to pull her back on him and kiss her again, this time taking control. By this time he would already be tugging at her pants if he wasn't that curious to know where she was going with this, taking charge instead of letting him guide them like she usually did.

"Show me how much you want me," he purred, his lips gracing her ear, sending a pleasant shiver down her spine. This only pushed her further as she did just that, bending her head down to trace her lips across his neck. Billy groaned but forced himself not to do anything, even if ever fiber of his body screamed at him to grab her and pin her down the couch so he could show her just how much he wanted her too.

Sarah left a trail of kisses down his neck and up to his jaw, stopping a moment to press her lips on his in a heated moment, to which he responded by placing a hand behind her head to bring her closer, their tongues dancing together as his other hand found its way up her shirt, playing with the clasp of her bra nervously. The girl chucked against him, aware of how difficult it was for him in that position, with only one hand, and what she could assume were shaking fingers against her skin, the man clearly more eager to undress her than he consented to show.

Instead of helping him, Sarah grabbed the bottom of her shirt and pulled it off of her, revealing a lacy white bra that made her look very delicate, a complete opposite of what she was trying to project right then. Nonetheless, Billy grinned, clearly satisfied of the sight before him, and decided in using both his hands to unclasp her bra. Unfortunately, Sarah pushed his hands away, shaking her head slowly as she smiled at him.

"Not so fast," she told him, bringing her face closer again, in the process of kissing him, but instead grabbed his bottom lip between her teeth, biting on it for a second before she let go.

"You fucking tease," he growled, but the grin on his face showed how much he was enjoying himself. Though, she could see the hunger growing in his eyes, and the bulge she could feel between his thighs told her she had only little time left before he turned into a complete beast.

Sarah laughed, kissing him softly; much differently than the kisses they'd shared since then. Billy pushed himself forward, leaving her enough room to pull on his shirt and throw it over his head, revealing his muscular chest and his beautiful tattoos. The sight of him like this never ceased to amaze her, even after months of sharing an intimate life together. The way his muscles tensed when he moved, his tattoos moving with him, a work of art at her own display, so scary and yet so attractive. It was electrifying.

Billy caught her staring and smirked, darting her eyes away from his chest by grabbing her hips and pulling her forward, so much on top of him that it had been easy to flip her over and end up on top of her, resting between her legs. Sarah gasped as he did so, a graceful movement she hadn't expected, but smiled nonetheless, knowing she'd gotten him right where she wanted. Their eyes connected, their mouths so close their lips could almost touch, but they didn't make a move to do so. None of them said anything as shared a stare, breathing into each other, taking a moment to appreciate the other's presence before anything else could happen. Sarah let a hand linger on his face, caressing his cheek softly, going over every scar, like she usually did. He let his forehead rest on her as he took his breath, his eyes scanning her face, ending on her wet lips, smirking to himself. She tasted so good, and she felt good, too, always hungry for him, moaning through kisses, always asking for more. He pressed his hips against her, getting that moan he was waiting for, his jeans so tight around his bulge he wanted to rip them open.

Sarah reached forward, catching his lips roughly, sliding a tongue in his mouth before he could even have the chance to do it himself, and that was it. Bringing his head down, he caught her neck in a painful bite to which she responded with a small scream, bringing a devilish smile to his lips.

"My turn."

[...]

Sarah woke up hours later, in the middle of night, half her body uncovered from Billy's bed sheet. She brought it back on her, resisting a shiver as she looked at him, laying flat on his stomach, his pillow hiding three quarters of his face. She smiled to herself, always so amazed that he could look like this, how peaceful he was when he slept. She remembered so many times when she'd woken up in the middle of a dream, panting, screaming, sweating, still halfway through her nightmare. He never did that, even if his everyday gave him every reason to. When Billy's eyes closed to let him sleep, he stopped moving entirely, except for brief moments when he turned himself around to be more comfortable. Sleeping was the only moment where he didn't have to do anything, and she could tell his body was taking it very seriously.

The young girl lifted her head up a bit, just enough to be able to see the clock. It was two in the morning. Letting her head fall back down, she stared at the ceiling, acknowledging every sore muscle on her body, some from her fight with Megan, some from Billy. Her fingers lingered on her own neck, tracing the sensitive skin he had left her with, result of his biting from earlier. Her lips turned into a smirk as she looked back at him, her naked body rising with warmth, something only he could create in her.

Billy was still deep in sleep, and a part of her wished to wake him up so he could take her again, bite at her skin and kiss her deeply, like only he knew how. Having him inside of her was the best feeling she had ever experience, one that made her feel alive and whole, made her feel strong and wanted. She had never felt so attractive than when Billy looked at her, those piercing blue eyes drinking her in, and entered her, never breaking their stare. The only thought of it had her knees shaken, her hands instinctively reaching for him, but she stopped herself. He deserved these moments of calm, and he needed to be sleeping right now. She scolded herself for even thinking of waking him up, and instead let herself slide out of the bed, too awake to go back to sleep.

She decided in taking a shower, her body desperately needing something she couldn't allow herself to ask for. Cold water would do her good, she thought, looking back at the sleeping gang banger before heading for the bathroom.

She came out half an hour later, her wet hair leaving a trail of water drops on the wooden floor as she made her way back to Billy's room in only a towel. Her eyes traveled the walls as she walked passed Joe's room, realising he'd never actually gotten inside and was probably passed out somewhere or with a girl. Her heart stung at the thought the young boy had been too scared to even go home because of all this, because of his proposal and his brother, and her selfishness. Her steps grew heavy as she finally got to her boyfriend's room, and was surprised to see him awake, sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing nothing but his boxers and holding a phone to his ear. He didn't even look up at her and instead passed a hand on his head, his eyes half closed and his body resting on his elbows, propped up on his knees. She could tell the phone itself had waked him up and that he was very clearly irritated, sighing heavily and only mumbling his answers.

"Jesus Christ," he sighed, his fingers lingering on his eyelids as he shook his head. "Don't move, I'll be right there."

With that, he hung up throwing his phone back on the night stand, not making a move to state he was actually meeting the person he was on the phone with. He stayed frozen there, his eyes fixated on the wall in front of him.

"What's going on?" Sarah asked him, snapping him out of his thoughts. His eyes landed on her and widened, and she felt a shiver run through her from the look she saw in them.

"I need to go to the Office," he told her, not explaining anything. He dragged his body up, the effort getting him to frown, the man clearly not yet out of the slumber he'd been in. Sarah took a step forward, wanting only to have him back in bed sleeping, where they could lie together and relax, but his life was what it was and she could do nothing about it.

"It's almost three in the morning," she told him, and he took a glance at her as he slipped inside a new pair of jeans.

"So?"

It was Sarah's turn to sigh as she watched him finish getting dressed, his chest now covered by a long sleeved shirt. Once he was done, he finally looked back at her and met her disappointed eyes, a wave of guilt crawling through him as he placed his phone in his back pocket.

"Bodie got jumped at his corner, okay?" he told her, trying to make her understand why he had to leave. Her eyes suddenly widened in worry, her feelings from before being replaced by the fear of her friend being hurt.

"Is he okay?" she wondered, her voice shaking with worry.

"He's fine," he assured her, and some tension seemed to leave her shoulders. "But his shit got stolen, and the money," he added, his words tinted with anger. "Someone's messin' with my turf and I don't like it."

He seemed to say the last part only for himself, mumbling his words as he passed a nervous hand on his shaven head, not meeting her eyes.

"What are you gonna do?" she asked again, clearly worried that it might meant he was going to start shit right then in reaction to what had happened to his best friend. Billy shook his head, one step ahead of her.

"Nothing for now."

Sarah nodded, feeling only slightly better now that she knew he wasn't going to war tonight. He started walking towards the door, stopping in front of her to say goodbye.

"Be safe, okay?" she told him, and the plea in her voice was easily noticeable. Billy took a moment to stare at her, only realising then just how much she cared about him, something he had been trying to ignore for the past months they had spent together. He knew she cared, and he knew he did too, but he had never been really good with the feelings stuff, and he didn't think he had it in him to talk about them either.

"I will."

Sarah nodded, gulping as she looked down, a mix of emotions playing with her head as she finally felt the need for sleep go back to her. Billy grabbed her face roughly, bringing her into a hard kiss, a silent promise to come back to her. They separated for only a second before meeting again, this time taking a long moment to appreciate each other's lips and tongue, their warm bodies pressing onto each other, needing the closeness one last time. Sarah moaned against the kiss, her right hand gripping his shoulder, the other resting on his neck. The parted after a few minutes, and she let herself slide down a bit, having been on her toes to reach his face.

"Hold that thought," he purred, his husky voice raspy with sleep. She smirked at him, nodding, letting her towel fall down to the floor before she made her way to the bed, giving him a sight of all of herself.

"I will."

**Thanks for reading! Leave a review!**


	23. Prom Night

**Well hello! As promised, next chapter :D Amazing, I know. I'll make it short, I hope you enjoy it, and leave a review! **

"Tada!"

"Oh my god. Please tell me you're kidding."

Sarah stopped on her tracks halfway through her bedroom, not entirely surprised at Emily's reaction to her outfit. She tried to keep a straight face as Emily stood up from the bed and walked slowly towards her, as if she'd be careful not to get to close either.

"But you're dressed like a man!" she exclaimed, her hands now hiding her mouth as she shook her head.

"I know, that's the point. I'm trying to be original here."

Emily kept shaking her head as she studied her friend up and down. Sarah was wearing a stripped blue shirt with a dark tie, a red and blue cardigan over it and had chic, lean boyish pants to top the outfit. Her hair was down and she was wearing just enough of make up so she'd still look girly enough in her man wear. No need to say that this wasn't exactly what Emily had expected.

"But it's hideous!" she continued, her voice breaking as if she'd be absolutely horrified at what she was seeing.

"W-what? No, it's just... Oh fine, I don't have a dress and I don't want to wear one either! So I thought, you know, that this would look cool..." Sarah tried to explain, letting go of a sigh once she saw Emily's face.

"Cool? You look like a lesbian."

"Okay, okay, I get it, thank you."

Sarah sighed once more as she let herself fall on the bed Emily was occupying two minutes ago. She was aware of how ridiculous she looked, but the idea of putting on a dress really didn't seem all that fantastic, she had never felt comfortable in one in her whole life and thinking that it was for a guy who not so long ago had confessed his love for her sounded just plain bad.

"Oh no don't be like that! Hey, you got me, I will fix this, just wait," Emily tried to comfort her, disappearing in her closet as Sarah just let her pouted face rest on her palms.

"You don't have to do this, I'm a lost cause. Just go to prom with Joe and I'll stay here, wallowing in my own mess while Billy is far away from me because he refuses to see me leaving to spend the evening with his brother," Sarah spoke and she dramatically let herself fall down on the bed to stare at the ceiling. "This is really depressing."

"Sarah, shut up," she heard Emily tell her, still hiding in the closet. "Okay so maybe this won't be the night of your life but Joe wants to go with you, not me, so get over yourself and get out of those ugly clothes, please," she scolded her, getting Sarah to sit straight once again.

"Fine, mom!" Sarah shouted at the door, pulling the cardigan over her head in a childish manner.

"You're six years old," Emily's voice spoke again.

"And you're evil," Sarah defended.

"I can live with that," Emily continued, finally walking out of the closet. "Here, a dress."

She extended her arm to show the piece of clothing, to which Sarah frowned as she grabbed it.

"Well, I guess that's acceptable," she mumbled, not finding anything bad to say about it, to her highest disappointment. She raised her head up to meet her friend's eyes, the other smiling softly as she shook her head. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now come on, go put it on."

Sarah squeezed the fabric between her weak fingers and she gulped, biting on her tongue not to speak. The thought of going to Joe and Emily's prom in a couple hours seemed out of place, like nothing in the past months would justify such an event. There was nothing to celebrate, Joe hated school, and so did Emily, both talked about it with hatred and even anger. Wanting to go there and party to for a night just sounded hypocritical and ridiculous. Why would they want to go there?

But Sarah had made a promise and she was going to keep it. If her friends wanted her there, she would go, but saying she'd enjoy was another story.

There was just one thing she had to talk about first.

"Emily?" Sarah hesitated, placing the dress softly on the bed while Emily interrupted her makeup session in front of the mirror.

"Yeah?" she replied, turning around to face her friend.

"I've wanted to ask you something for a while, I..." she mumbled, clearing her voice to make sure Emily would hear her.

Emily dropped her mascara as she took at step forward, realising Sarah was struggling to tell her what she meant to say.

"Me too, actually," Emily informed her, trying to seem casual.

"Oh really? Well, go ahead, I'll tell you after," Sarah proposed.

"Okay, sure."

Emily cleared her throat as well, replacing her hair on her head as she thought of how to phrase her sentence.

"I just wanted to ask you why Billy let you go to prom," she finally said, already regretting asking.

"W-What? He..." Sarah sputtered. "He didn't _let_ me go to prom; he just said he didn't mind me going. I don't need his permission to-"

"But why did he change his mind?" Emily insisted. "How did you solve the fight, I want to know. I mean... I'd like to."

"How is it any of your business?" Sarah exclaimed, taking a step back as she studied her friend up and down. She didn't know why Emily was so concerned about knowing everything about this incident, it's not like it would change anything in her life anyway.

"For goodness' sake, Sarah, I'm your best friend! You tell me everything, but you refused to explain to me what happened with Billy. Clearly there's something you're not telling me," Emily replied, silencing Sarah as she took a minute to think.

"Fine. I... Billy wanted to know about my life before Boston. And... I know you were always curious about that and I always refused to tell you about it, but Billy's my boyfriend and, I owed him that," Sarah explained, hoping Emily would understand.

"Oh..."

"I'm sorry Emily, if it was only for me I wouldn't have talked about it, but... at the same time, it's nice to have someone who knows," Sarah continued.

"No, I get it, it's fine," Emily sighed, smiling at her friend to show her she wasn't angry. "So, did it go well? Did he freak out like you were afraid anyone would?"

"Surprisingly, he was fine about it. He was..." Sarah bit her lip as she remembered the moment they shared.

After spilling everything out to Billy, he had taken a minute to breathe and try to understand what had happened, and how that had made her who she was. It had finally all made sense, and in the end he seemed very satisfied she had been able to open up to him about it.

"He was understanding," Sarah smiled.

"Good, good."

Emily smiled back and they both stayed silent for a second as they wondered what to say now that the subject was closed.

"So, what did you want to ask me?" Emily remembered, taking Sarah out of her thoughts.

"Oh, uh, you know, just..." Sarah hesitated yet again.

"Yes?"

"I was, um, wondering about that thing, you know, that um-"

"Sarah, talk."

"What happened with Billy's ex girlfriend?"

Emily's jaw dropped as she proceeded the information, the thought of Sarah knowing about Billy's past relationship having never occurred to her. However, she thought, it was actually a surprise she had never asked about it before. Most couples, at one point or another, talked about their previous relationships, but Billy Darley surely wasn't like any other guy to be in a relationship with.

Sarah waited patiently as Emily seemed to think about her answer, eager to finally learn about what had gotten Bodie's girlfriend so uptight about the only time she had met her. She had mentioned a girl Billy had dated, and had said they were alike. Since then, Sarah had never been able to get that thought out of her mind, while she couldn't convince herself to ask Billy about it. So she was taking at chance, thinking maybe Emily knew a thing or two about that mysterious lover.

"You knew her, right? I mean, you were there when it happened? What was she like, what broke them up, I... I want to know," Sarah spoke, since Emily still hadn't said anything.

"Maybe I'm not the right person to ask, Sarah. Talk to Billy," Emily replied, terrified on even getting started on the subject. If Billy was to learn she had talked about it...

"In all honesty, do you really think Billy is going to tell me exactly what happened? Do you even think he will even want to talk about it?"

"Probably not, no. But... he's going to kill me if he knows I..."

"I won't tell him. Emily," Sarah begged, taking her friend's hand as she pulled her to sit on the bed with her. "Please. I need to know, it's driving me crazy."

Emily took a deep breath, trying not to lock eyes with Sarah, knowing she wouldn't able to resist telling her. Sarah squeezed her hand, and she was obligated to turn her face towards her. That was it.

"Fine. Yes, I knew her. But when I met Tommy, they were already dating, I don't know what brought them together, although Tommy did tell me they knew each other since they were kids," Emily started, and Sarah only stared at her, all ears, drinking every word Emily pronounced.

"How was she?"

"Uh, she was a nice girl, I mean, I never really talked to her, she was always with Billy but whenever he wasn't around, she was god knows where and I never got to hang out with her."

"Oh..."

"Yeah. She was from the streets, I think, she worked at the bar, actually, but I never went there without the guys so again, I didn't know her all that much."

"What happened?"

"Relax, I'm getting to it."

Emily laughed and Sarah gestured she would stop talking.

"She worked full time, all the time, and I didn't see her do much other than being with Billy or working, and that's because she was saving for college. She had this dream of going to New York and study, and get out of here, pretty much like any of us, the difference being that she actually could. She was smart, you know, she could do well."

Sarah bit on her tongue to stop herself from asking a hundred other questions and waited for Emily to continue, finding it hard not to just ask what had happened to the relationship with Billy.

"And so one day she... she left."

"What?"

Emily nodded, confirming what she had just said, something Sarah didn't seem to understand.

"She left? Without saying goodbye or anything?"

"She left a note, to Billy. I don't know exactly what it said but apparently, and that's what Joe told me so he might have exaggerated on some details, she didn't want to say goodbye because it would have been too hard and she planned on coming back as soon as semester was over to tell him all about it and to get him to come with her but..."

"But?" Sarah insisted, unable to contain her curiosity.

"She never did."

The two girls stayed silent as Sarah tried to assimilate the information, finding it hard to believe someone could do something like this. Just leaving, without so much of a goodbye. Who does that?

"She never came back?"

"No. He'll never admit it, but he changed after that, he became more of an asshole. I think he got his heart broken," Emily concluded, as Sarah couldn't find anything to say.

What was there more to say?

Emily was about to add something when the sound of the front door opening interrupted their conversation. The two girls shared a knowing look as they waited to see who was there, knowing exactly who that was.

"Hey babe!" A voice spoke from the kitchen, and soon Tommy appeared at the door. "Whoa, you guys aren't ready yet?" he asked in surprise.

Emily glanced at Sarah as she made her way to her boyfriend to greet him. "Almost."

She turned to Sarah and pointed at the dress. "Get dressed, honey, we're going to be late."

Sarah broke out of her trance and nodded at her friend, smiling sadly at her to tell her she was fine. Emily walked unsurely outside of the room with Tommy, leaving Sarah alone.

Alone with nothing but the thought that she might be a replacement to the girl who broke Billy Darley's heart.

[...]

Everything was as it should be. The colour lights on a small dance floor in the school gym, the teachers moving awkwardly in a corner, the cool kids laughing out loud at a joke that wasn't funny while judging everyone's outfits, who was with whom, who's hair was nice, who looked like a total whore, name it. A prom night at its finest.

It was to wonder why someone like Joe Darley would have been standing at the door, all dressed up in a fine suit, staring at all of them, those he had spent his school years with but had never got down to really knowing anyone. The only reason he was there was just to show them that they weren't better than him, that all the funny looks and the names and the bullying in middle school and the shit he went through didn't do anything to stop him from getting it over with high school. He was done, and he was damn proud of it too, ready not to ever step a foot in a school again. This was the last time, and he was going to make a night of it. If only Sarah could show up.

"Aw, look at him, he looks all grown up and shit."

Joe's attention went to the hallway behind him, where a feminine voice had spoken. A wide grin appeared on his face when he saw who it belonged too, but most importantly who this person was walking with.

"Thanks, Em, you look nice too," Joe laughed with his friend as the girls reached him. His eyes never left Sarah, even if Emily had continued talking once he had replied. She was weirdly standing there, in a short strapless white dress that went to her knees, a small bag hanging loosely from her hands and...

"...sneakers."

Sarah laughed softly as she placed a strand of her hair behind her ear, the rest of it behind attached in a messy bun behind her head.

"I really tried, Joe, I did, but she wouldn't listen to me," explained Emily as they made their way in the school gym.

"The only heals you had are at least three inches high and make me look like a giraffe!" replied Sarah as if Emily had just offended her. "Besides, Joe really isn't that tall and I would have probably been taller than him, and that wouldn't work for your manly ego, now would it?"

"Hey, hey, hey, I am taller than the average, alright? It ain't my fault your legs never end," Joe defended, also insulted about Sarah's words.

"Okay, I'm sorry, you've very tall and manly, and you look really handsome," Sarah apologized, a warm smile spreading across her face. Joe's features soften and he stopped walking as they arrived at the photo booth.

"And you look beautiful," he complimented her. Sarah couldn't help but blush as the positioned themselves in front of the photographer.

"Thank you."

"No talkin' miss, it ruins the pictures! Now gimme that sexy smile of yours, yeah, right there! Here ya go!" shouted the man as he snapped a picture before any of them could get comfortable enough to smile correctly. They both exchanged a strange look as they walked away, leaving Emily to take a picture only with her pitiful self, having failed at convincing her boyfriend to come with her.

"I'm really not sure about this," sighed Sarah after Emily had joined them by the buffet, consisting of only one table with less than thirty crackers and a punch rumoured to be filled with vodka after a student had succeeded in emptying a bottle in it.

"It hasn't even started yet," Joe defended, raising his hands in the air.

"Actually, yes, its eight thirty now and it started at seven," Emily corrected him, staring down at her phone. "Oh, Tommy texted me!"

Sarah and Joe rolled their eyes at the same time as Emily read the text, whispering the sweet words to herself as Joe pulled a chair for Sarah to sit in.

"I would have tried that before if I had known suits made you guys gentlemen," Sarah teased, and Joe chuckled as he sat down next to her.

"I don't think that'd work on Billy, though."

"Yeah, I figured."

[...]

"Well this is officially the shittiest idea I've ever had."

Sarah and Emily woke up from their trance when Joe spoke, the two girls only realising now that they had been absently staring at people dancing for quite a while.

"Told ya," Sarah said, turning her head to look at her date.

"I didn't think it'd really be **that** boring," Joe whined.

"What? You actually thought people had fun at proms? It's the after prom, honey, that makes it worth it!" Emily explained.

"What after prom?" Sarah wondered.

"Some kid, that hockey guy. He's got some big house somewhere, supposed to be one hell of a party."

"Well, I ain't going to that stupid ass party. Bodie's having some drinkin' contest at his place with the guys and some chicks. I ain't gon' miss that. You comin'?"

Joe nodded in Sarah's direction to state he was talking to her.

"Uh, I don't know, is Billy going?"

"Think so. Said he had some important things to do about something happening next week, I don't know what, but I think he's going. D'you know what they've been preparing?"

"Nan, Billy doesn't tell me much 'bout his work. But he seemed pretty stressed out about it," Sarah replied, taking a sip of her punch – that definitely consisted of some strong vodka – with a shrug.

"Tommy too. He said something about B-Street interfering with their dealings," Emily added. The three of them shared a worried look as they remained silent for a second.

"Next week you said?" Sarah asked again.

"Yeah, that's what Billy said."

Sarah sighed as she put her drink on the table they were sitting around, wondering if she really wanted to deal with a drunken Billy when he had something that seemed so important on his mind. It was never pleasant to be around, and she was thinking that maybe she'd be better off just staying home and going to bed early. She had been going back to the dinner for a short while and had been surprised to see she had lost a bit of energy in her work, which had direct consequences on her sleeping schedule.

She was about to expose her thoughts to the other two when Joe's phone began to ring in his pocket. He reached for it and opened it slowly, his boredom showing in his attitude.

"Hey Billy."

Sarah instinctively stood straight in her chair at the mention of her boyfriend's name, which got Emily to smile as they both watched Joe listening to his brother. Their smiles faded when Joe's features turned into shock as Billy's voice got louder through the phone.

"What- what the fuck is going on? Wait, what? No! No fucking way, I'm coming with you!"

Billy's voice continued screaming as Sarah's heart started beating faster; knowing something was going down and that Billy or someone in the gang must have been in trouble.

"Billy- no! I can do this! Just let me- Yes, yeah, she's with me. What? Fuck, come on man, I can't- what? Ugh, alright! But after I'm coming over to help! Okay."

The two girls waited impatiently as the intense conversation took place, their breathing stuck as long as Joe didn't tell them what was going on.

"What's wrong? What's happening?!" Emily spoke before Sarah could.

"B-Street. I think it's that shit they were talkin' about, it's happening now! Some punks showed up at a couple corners, they shot some people, they're in The Office! Billy's heading over there to help with the guys, some fucked up shit is about to happen," Joe explained as fast as he could, his face growing red from his talking and anger towards the events.

Sarah and Emily shared a worried look as they both thought of their boyfriends.

"Tommy was at the Office tonight, he was spending the night there with Baggy," cried Emily as she brought a hand on her mouth, her eyes watering as she spoke. "Maybe something happened to him."

"We don't know that yet, don't panic for nothing," Sarah tried to reason her friend, a way to hide how freaked she was at the thought of Billy getting hurt as well. "Wait," she continued, turning to Joe now. "Please tell me you're not going there."

Joe held her stare and he nodded slowly, his jaw clenched as if he was trying to convince himself that this was the best thing to do.

"No, no, Joe, please," Sarah begged, her hands reaching for him across the table. "You don't have to do this."

Joe stared down at their intertwined fingers before going back to her face and shook his head.

"They need me there," he said. "I'll drop you two off at my apartment and I'll go help."

"What?"

"No! Tommy's there, I can't just wait for him to get killed!"

"Joe, it's too dangerous!"

"Hey hey," Joey interrupted them. "Billy's orders. I can't do anything about it, you're going to the apartment and that's all!"

The two girls' shouts ceased at the mention of Billy's name, knowing that if he had ordered it, Joe would make sure it was done, and Billy would make anyone regret it if they decided not to listen to him.

Joe stood first, making his way towards the exit and his friends followed quickly, leaving the gym in a hurry, their boredom no longer affecting any of them. They had much more important things to worry about now.

As they got in Joe's car, that wasn't really his since he had borrowed it from Dog earlier that night, Sarah surely regretted they were all there, at prom, when things like getting attacked by other gangs threatened them. Yes, Billy had never mentioned it to her, but it was always a possibility, especially now. You didn't have to be a genius to know when Billy Darley was in a good mood or not, and his temper had been even worse for the past few weeks. She knew something was wrong, yet, she had never really worried about it.

She sure did now.

The worst part was that Billy should have been with her that night, because he rarely worked on Fridays. He'd keep the guys busy but he'd always be pretty relax on that day, he would drop her off at the dinner and get her back once she was done, and they would hang out together, at the bar or at his place. Because of prom, she was busy, and Billy had decided to work instead, making it clear that he had no intention of sticking around waiting for her when she was out with his brother, which wasn't surprising and very legitimate considering the situation.

"Hurry the fuck up, Jesus!" shouted Joe at Emily, the girl being so freaked out she could hardly stand on her legs, and had taken a second too long to open the door to the car.

"Oh shut up, I want to help them as much as you do, alright?!" Emily snapped, slamming the door as she sat in the passenger's seat.

"Well you won't, you're going to the apartment!"

"That's bullshit!"

"ENOUGH!"

Joe and Emily stopped shouting to turn at Sarah who had been patiently sitting in the back seat, trying not to hit them both because of their immature behaviour.

"We are not going to help anyone if you too keep screaming at each other instead of doing something useful!" she started. Emily opened her mouth to speak but Sarah stopped her. "No, I don't want to hear it. We are all worried, you don't need to keep saying it, it just makes it worse. Now Joey, please just drive the damn car."

With that, Joe turned back around to face the wheel and started driving, while Emily stared at Sarah a little longer before turning around as well.

Since took over as the three teenagers itched to get out of the car, to get where they were supposed to go to finally know what was going on. Joe drove as fast as he could, so much that when they got to a street light, it turned yellow as they were meters away from the street.

Joey pressed harder on the accelerator, trying to pass before it turned red, but it didn't have time to. A van from the other side of the street started moving when the light was still yellow, going directly in Joe's car's direction.

"Look out!" Emily yelled, pointed at the van. Joe pressed on the breaks as hard as he could, resulting in stopping the car right in the middle of the street, the van almost touching the front of the car. It flew right passed them, so close that the three of them had the time to see two guys in the front seat, two green spots flying by them. Two green spots holding guns.

"Those are the guys! They're B-Street guys, they're going towards the Office!" shouted Joey, still parked in the middle of the street as multiple other cars honked at them.

"Follow them for christ's sake!" pleaded Emily.

"I have to get you guys to the apartment!" he replied on the same tone.

"There's no time, they're back-ups, they're probably going there to finish the job, we have to go!" Emily continued. This time, Sarah didn't interrupt their argument. She too knew there was no time to drop them off and then go to the Office. Everything would be over by then.

"Joey, we need to go there, now," Sarah added to help her friend as Joe was clearly thinking the idea through.

"Fine," he mumbled, before turning the wheel to the right and starting to follow the van, direction the Office.

Emily glanced at Sarah through the mirror and they both nodded at each other, thanking each other for getting Joe to take them with him. They knew there wasn't much they could do to help them, but there was no way they were going to stay at home while everything happened, leaving them to worry and think the worst. At least they'd be there.

Less than two minutes later, Joey entered a lot protected by a large fence, driving towards a huge building that seemed to have been abandoned for quite a while. However, Sarah didn't take too much time to study the place; she was more interested in knowing what was happening on the inside. The sound of a gunshot didn't help her nerves.

"Oh my god," shouted Emily, also having heard the sound.

"Okay," started Joey, getting the car into a stop. "You girls are going to stay in this car, alright? I wasn't even supposed to bring you here, there is no fucking way you're getting near this building, you hear me?"

Both girls nodded at the same time.

"Yes, we're not moving," agreed Emily.

"Good. Be careful alright?" he said, talking to Emily, before turning to Sarah and locking eyes with her. "Yeah?" he repeated.

"Yeah," she agreed. Joe cracked a small grin at her and nodded.

"There's a gun under the seat if something happens," he explained. "But please, don't do anything stupid."

He looked back at Emily when he said that, holding her stare as if he'd be trying to send her a message. She didn't respond anything, forcing Joe to end the conversation.

"Be careful!" Sarah said as he walked away, and he only turned around for a second to nod before he disappeared by the back door.

Once Joe was gone, a minute of silence got the girls frozen in their seats, waiting for something they weren't sure they really wanted to come.

Before any of them could say anything, another shot was heard in the building.

"Fuck. They're all gonna die, that's it," Emily cried.

"Stop it," Sarah mumbled. "They're not dead, you don't know."

"They are. I can feel it."

"Will you shut up?!"

"I'm going in there," she announced, as if Sarah hadn't said anything.

"What?"

Emily ignored her as she stared at the building, thinking about what she was going to do. Before Sarah could do anything, she opened her door and stepped out of the car, her eyes still fixated on the tall structure.

"Emily, are you crazy?! We're gonna get killed!" she half shouted- half whispered now that the door was open, not wanting anyone to noticed their presence. Emily took a glance at the building nervously and brought her body back inside the vehicle, ignoring Sarah's protest. Her hand disappeared under her seat and for a second, Sarah couldn't see her friend anymore, being in the back seat, but soon enough she leaned back, her hand stiffening around a dark object. Her eyes scanned the gun, the young girl obviously stepping in a territory she wasn't familiar with, but before she could fully deal with it, she turned back to her friend.

"I can't wait here anymore, it's driving me crazy! I'm going in there to find Tommy and make sure he's alright!" she explained, closing the door on Sarah face.

"Emily!" Sarah repeated, but her friend was now walking towards the building, ignoring her once again.

Sarah sighed deeply as she watched her disappear where Joe had a couple minutes ago. What now?

She could wait here as her best friend got killed in a house full of gangsters, or she could go with her and make sure she wasn't throwing herself in a suicide mission.

Sarah resisted a desperate scream and opened her own door to walk out of the car, following Emily inside the hell house.


End file.
